by Jenny Wood
“Baby.” She pointed to the baby, and I smile, walking further into the room.
“Look at this cute baby; she has black hair like yours, huh? Is she your baby?” I ask as she reaches for her. I hand her the pacifier and the little blanket, and I watch her wrap the baby up and start to rock her. She handed her daddy her other baby doll and the big, bearded man, handled her with as much care as he did the little girl in his lap. He must have loads of practice with this.
“That’s really nice of you, thank you. She’s obsessed with babies.” He smiles at me, and I catch myself staring at his lips. His lips that are almost half hidden by his facial hair, but I can see them tilt on one side. I wonder if his beard is as soft as it looks; my hands are itching to reach up and feel. I take a step back and attempt to stop being ridiculous; it’s liable to get me knocked out or something. Plus, I probably shouldn’t even be looking at someone from Madison, I’m not sure how long I’ll be here. Dad’s health is declining a little more every day, and I can see him getting weaker. It seems all he does is sleep a lot, now.
“Not a problem, I know waiting isn’t much fun; especially when you don’t feel good, huh?” I finished by including the little girl-Lennon into the conversation.
“It’s okay; I’m hoping since her fever is down, she might sleep.” The man runs his giant, tattooed hand through her hair so gently. For a split second, I wonder if my dad was ever that way with me; when I’d fallen and skinned my knee or just didn’t feel well. I don’t ever remember a time. The thought is an unwelcome one, I didn’t normally think much about him at all, but now that I was here and he was sick, they seemed to be coming at me left and right. Especially when I was reminded that my childhood was beyond shitty, thanks to him. I questioned myself on why I was even here for him. What kind of person dishes out that much abuse and flat out hatred and then apologizes with a “sorry, that just wasn’t me.” Why was I here?
“Hey, you okay?” The big man snaps me out of my moment of self-pity.
“Yeah,” I roll my eyes rather self-depreciatingly. “Long morning.” I shrug it off and try to smile. The little girl is asleep in his lap now, curled around her new baby and snuggled into her blanket and her daddy’s stomach. I reach out and feel her head; she’s clammy but cooler than she had been, even ten minutes ago. I look up to see the man studying me, and at first I think he’s going to ask why I’m touching his daughter like this when I could’ve just used the thermometer again. I should’ve, actually.
“If you’re a doctor, why do we need to wait on another one?” His brows furrow in confusion, and it looks like I’m going to have to explain Grandma. “You’re not waiting for someone to come tell me horrible news, are you? Something isn’t really wrong, is it? It’s just an ear thing or the flu or something, right?” His body gets tight, and the little girl in his lap fusses just slightly, curling deeper into his chest.
“No, no, she’s fine,” I assure him, “I’m not a doctor.” I blurt like an idiot.
“Then what are you doing here? Do you even work here?” He asks, more than confused this time, maybe a little pissed.
“No, yes! Wait.” I hold my hands out and back up a step. His body is still tensed up, and he’s turned himself sideways, standing now, putting his body in between his daughter and me. I obviously worked here, what did he think, that people just come in off the street and pretend to be doctors?
“I’ve gotta tell ya, man; I don’t know what you’re doing, but-“
“I work here,” I say, sounding more confident than I feel. “I’m a nurse, a registered nurse. I’m new to town and here temporarily, but I realize that earlier I gave you a card that said I Was a doctor and I know that’s crazy because… well, I’m not a doctor, but see…the thing is…. I have this grandma…” I scoffed, trying to think of the best way to describe the nutcase that is my grandma. “You see, she’s….eccentric is a good word. Yeah, she’s eccentric and a little unconventional and if you knew her, you’d totally understand but see, well…” I try, I really try to think of something, anything to tell him about her in a way that doesn’t make me seem just as batshit. He’s looking at me expectantly, and I figure I might as well just go for broke, I’ve already made a weird impression on this gorgeous man. How things had flopped so quickly, I didn’t know.
“When I went to nursing school, I thought about Med School first. My grandma is, like I said, well, weird for lack of a better word. Vibes and good joo-joo and karma, she’s big in all that. When I went to nursing school, I briefly thought about becoming a doctor; my grandma, she was all for that.” I explained, kind of.
“I questioned it though, my ability for such a long commitment and hours and hours of schooling and internships and residencies; but she told me to put it into the universe, and through the force of positive energy and hocus pocus, I’d become a doctor. Kind of, fake it til you make it, kind of deal.” I went on explaning, noticing his eyebrows that had not come down from his hairline since I started talking.
“It’s ridiculous, and I realize that; it makes this whole thing so much more embarrassing, that I have to explain. Especially because I’m a professional, in a place where people need professionalism and here I am explaining my Wiccan grandma. I’m sorry. I’m not a weirdo, or at least, not as big of one as I’m coming across right now. I can get ya another nurse. Just a second.” I stood up and turned to flee when I heard his bark of unrestrained, surprised laughter. It stopped me in my tracks because one, it sounded good. Too good, I don’t think I’d ever laughed that loud or that hard in my life. I turned to watch him adjust the baby in arms and prop her up on his arm, with her little head tucked into his neck. He had his giant hand, splayed against her tiny little back and she looked content to be held against his shaking with laughter, chest.
“Please stop.” He chuckled. I’m not sure what I was supposed to be stopping because my body was frozen in humiliated awe. He was ten times more gorgeous when he was laughing, even if he was laughing at me.
“First, your grandma sounds amazing.” He said around another snicker, “And I’m sorry, I was overreacting. We’re new to town, we don’t know many people here yet, and we’re from Atlanta. It’s filled with crazies; you can’t be too sure.” He made his eyes wide and pinned with his “know what I mean?” type of look. Sadly, I did; I’d worked for about a month in Detroit, once. Never again.
“Okay, well….” I tried to think of something to say, but I was caught off guard by the black haired little angel that popped her head up off her daddy’s shoulder and looked at me. Her face scrunched up like she was going to cry but before I could take a step and reassure her that I wasn’t the crazy man that I felt like; she leaned over just slightly and vomited her red and orange push pop that I’d given her. Then she started to cry.
“Shit!” The man held on to her but walked back to the seats that were conveniently seated beside a trash can. I grabbed a puke bucket from under the sink instead and handed it over. I went back to the sink and got a handful of tissues to wet so that I could wipe her face, and I finished with a paper cup and filled it with water, to get that yucky taste out of her mouth. She was still crying, and the big man was trying his best to console her. It was a heartbreaking scene, but not one I’m unfamiliar with; especially working in labor and delivery. I see a lot of crying babies, but none of them hit me in the left chest like this one did. It was an odd feeling; like I really felt for this little girl who didn’t feel well… which was ridiculous, because I’d just met her and her gorgeous, bear of a daddy and I had no ties to them whatsoever. I needed to get my shit together.
“Here, honey. You want a drink?” I hold the cup towards her after wiping her mouth gently. I’m hoping it’ll help whatever it was that triggered this dry heave. She looked so pitiful and I know I had the look of worry written all over my face by the way the man was looking at me.
“She’s okay, just an upset belly.” He said softly. I could feel my brows furrow in a frown because it was quite lit
erally, my job to reassure them and here he was; feeling like he had to tell me that she was okay. Another hit to my professionalism. I really needed to get my shit together.
“I should be telling you that,” I tell him, taking a step back and handing him the cup instead. I try to wipe any emotion off my face, but when the little girl in his arms makes a lunge at me; I don’t hesitate to step forward and take her.
“You’re just having a crummy day, aren’t you, sweetheart?” I ask her as I shuffle on my feet, swaying us back and forth while she settles into me. I take us to the cabinet where I put the thermometer and juggle it while trying to keep from jostling the girl in my arms. I somehow, one-handedly, get the disposable piece on the end and place it in her ear for the minute until it beeps. It’s gone down significantly; I’m glad.
“You’re good with her, do you have kids?” The man asks me. I turn to answer and notice that he’s a lot closer to me than he had been.
“No, no kids. I work with babies a lot, though.” I reply. I can see his eyes moving all over my face, but what he’s looking for, I can’t guess.
“Do you have things to get back to? I can take her back if we’re keeping you.” He takes a step forward, and I turn my body just slightly away. Again, irrational move on my part, I just wasn’t ready to give her up yet or leave this room. I scolded myself mentally and went to hand her back to her very good looking daddy, but she wasn’t having it. She clung to the collar of my shirt and wailed until we stopped trying to hand her off. The big man- Finn, as I’d heard his friend say- didn’t look amused, Still, she reached for him, and he grabbed her hand, holding us both. as we both held her.
“She’s got a lot of Uncle’s; you must remind her of one of them.” He said, rubbing her chubby little hand that looked so small in his tatted up, beefy one.
“Maybe so,” I surmise, swaying back and forth and bouncing her just slightly. We’re standing so close together that I can feel his heat against my side, and his big body is towering over mine. I take a second, just a rough second and pretend that this is normal; that this kind of thing happens all the time with this sweet girl and her rough looking daddy. Everyone pretends, right? Every once in a while.
“Knock-knock” The cheery voice of who I know is Dr. Brynn. A fantastic general surgeon that I’ve had the pleasure of working with a couple of times since I’ve been here.
“Nurse Jay, who do we have here?” The woman smiles and grabs the sanitizer and gives us all a squirt before shaking Finn’s hand and patting the little girl on the back.
“This is Lennon and her dad, Finn. She came in with a fever, 102.9, though it’s down to 100.6, last I checked, about ten minutes ago. Her babysitter says that she was drinking okay, but she got sick after a push pop. Still, she doesn’t seem dehydrated, just feeling rough.” I inform her as she goes over the notes that I’d made in her chart earlier.
“It looks like you’ve been claimed.” She smiles at me first and then Finn, going around the room to gather the things she’ll need. She looks in Lennon’s ears and fights her a little bit to look in her throat, causing the sweet little girl to scream and fight.
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“Baby, it’s okay.” Finn and I say at the same time. It’s awkward because I know he’d rather be holding her, consoling her, I turn to him to see if he can take her now. She goes to him easily now that she’s upset and I’m left standing here, still not wanting to leave, but knowing that I need to. I don’t even know these people, and here I am feeling some weird attachment to this darling girl and her ridiculously handsome father. I excuse myself with one last look at the picture they make and slip out the door.
The clock tells me that it’s almost five; I’ve been here for almost ten hours and usually go through twelve-hour shifts, but I work an extra day during the week since I request off early to go see my dad. It wasn’t required, but it wasn’t like I had much else to do around here. So, going to check on my patients from this morning and make sure nobody else needs me, I clock out and head for my dad. He’s most likely asleep at this time of the evening, he normally takes a long nap after dinner, which is why I choose to go at this time, but part of me hopes he’s awake and I’m not sure why. I’m scared of what forgiving him means, but then again, I’m scared of what it’ll mean if I don’t.
Finn
“Okay Mr. Finnley; I’ve got you some antibiotic, the good pink kind and some numbing ear drops for pain. Take that to the pharmacy, and they’ll get you fixed right up. Continue fever reducer as needed, though she should be back to herself in a couple of days. I’d hold off on daycare if she goes, at least for the next day or so.” Dr. Brynn tells us now that we’re done. Lennon is awake and fussy, and I’ve not been able to put her down. The only time she didn’t want me is when she wanted the cute nurse, Jay. I could relate.
Not only was he ridiculously cute, especially when he got nervous and rambled about… his Wiccan grandmother and the universe; but also because he took care of my girl. He was sweet and gentle with her, and at one point, he almost seemed as concerned as I was. I reassured him that she was okay because he looked just as brokenhearted as she did. It was cute, and I was impressed.
I thanked Dr. Brynn and went to settle our bill so we could leave. I looked around for Nurse Jay while we waited at the front desk but never saw him. I thought about asking for someone to get him for us, but I didn’t want to seem like a crazy person. Instead, I asked the lady at the front desk to thank him for me, for being so great with my girl. She winked when she told me that he’d already gone home; telling me that he got off at five most days and then proceeded to tell me his entire weekly schedule. I got the feeling that as little as this place was, they were no stranger to gossip; especially after that wink. I didn’t say another word as we paid and then we left.
After strapping Lennon into the car and getting it started, with the air on; I took out my phone and sent a group text to the guys, letting them know that Lennon had an ear infection and that I’d need to reschedule my appointments for tomorrow. I had three. Kingsley said he could take two because he only had one in the morning and Kayson said he’d take the other. Morgan sent me a private message and asked how Lennon was feeling. I didn’t even have a chance to answer him before he’d sent more, gushing over the hot nurse and asking question after question that I didn’t want to answer; or didn’t know how to answer.
Morgan: How’s my little lady? Feeling any better
Morgan: How’d it go with Dr. Adorable?
Morgan: Did you ask him out? Please tell me you asked him out.
Me: I didn’t ask him out, shut up.
Me: He did give Lenny a baby doll, and at one point, she wouldn’t let go of him. He stayed in our room with us until the doctor got there. :/
I tell him that much and hope I don’t regret it. I put my phone away and take us to the pharmacy where the front desk lady had called them in for us, so we didn’t have to wait long. Lennon jabbered in the back seat with her doll’s, hugging them both to her and singing them songs. My heart melted when she did stuff like that; she was a good little mama to her babies, and now she had two, thanks to Jay.
Morgan: Awww <3
The man was a romantic, I’d admit. He and Kingsley were pretty damn close to the perfect couple and with everyone all loved up, he seemed to want to spread that joy. I never gave dating much thought, knowing Lennon was my top priority and I didn’t want a string of men in and out of her life; but I wondered if maybe I could find a way to run into Nurse Jay, again.
Starting dinner was a feat because Lennon wouldn’t let me out of her site, so I settled for a sandwich and soup. I fed Lennon some soup and crackers in front of the tv, and as long as I was sitting beside her, she seemed okay. She was able to keep her food down, and it wasn’t until close to bedtime that she needed another dose of fever reducer. Her nightly bath and brushing her teeth went without fuss, and she was asleep by the time I laid her down in her bed.
Taking a shower
, myself and picking up the toys in the living room; I decided to enjoy some quiet time before bed. Thinking of watching a movie but knowing my brain was too preoccupied to focus, I did what any rational person did when they couldn’t stop thinking about someone; I grabbed my computer and logged onto social media to stalk them on social media.
Looking at his card, I searched all different variations of his name until I came across: Jay Perry. His page wasn’t private, and I could view his pictures. It also said that he lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but I recognized that face, those eyes, and that dimple, immediately.
There were several pictures of him at a lake, fishing terribly by the looks of it. In one picture, he’d actually caught an aluminum can. Most of his pictures were candid shots of him doing something or another: washing a car, planting something in the ground, sitting at a picnic table, admiring something from afar; but there were also a few of him with a tiny, older lady. She had long gray hair, and she wore a neck full of big, beaded necklaces and a ring on every finger. It had to be the Wiccan grandma. I don’t stereotype, but, if there ever were a more hippy grandma, I’d be pressed to find one. They were laughing in almost every picture together; in one, he was kissing her cheek while she beamed at the camera.
There were a couple of updates in the last few weeks; quotes about forgiveness and family. I wondered what he might be going through to illicit such morose status updates. I only had social media to promote my work at the shop that I worked in before, and of course, changed my info when I came to work at Kennedy Ink, so there was no reason to try to add him or follow him, I didn’t wanna be creepy. I also had his phone number, but had absolutely no reason to call him, other than to maybe thank him for being so nice; but people didn’t do that, did they? Call someone to thank them for doing their job? That’s all he was doing, right? He seemed to be as enamored with my girl as she seemed to be with him, but he also works with kids all day, so I’m positive that’s why he was so taken with her.