by Jenny Wood
I sound like an idiot, it wasn’t like the guy gave me any signals or whatever, I just thought he was gorgeous, and these eyes that I can’t stop looking at in all of these pictures, they were something else. Instead of doing all of that, I turned the baby monitor on beside my bed and went to sleep. I didn’t need to be thinking of relationships or adorable nurses, anyway. I had a daughter to raise.
I called into the shop to make sure everything was indeed taken care of the next day and was assured by Kayson that everything was fine.
“Take all the time you need, Bud, just get our girl feeling better.” He’d told me; it still amazed me that these guys treated not only me but my daughter like family. I’d seen them with their little sister Kady, and I knew their relationship with Jase and how that started, still… we’d never met before I came to work here and you’d think we’d all grown up together or something. For someone who didn’t have family that counted anymore, this place was home to us, now.
Lennon was feeling much better this morning, her fever hadn’t come back during the night, but her ears were definitely acting as if they were bothering her. She pulled at them a lot and laid her head against her shoulder on the one side, making me think it was aching at least a little bit. I got her ear drops in, no problem but she didn’t seem to like it, and we took her second dose of antibiotic as soon as we get up. That, she really liked; I can remember loving it as a kid as well, it tastes like bubble gum or something. I was glad I didn’t have to wrestle with her to get her to take it.
After breakfast and Lenny playing with toys while I worked on making myself presentable, we ventured out to do some shopping since I had an unexpected day off. We still needed diapers, and I figured that I’d stalk up the fridge while I had time. Money was tight when we first moved here, first and last deposits on the house, getting utilities and things switched over, plus moving costs in general, but money was a lot better at Kennedy, due to their larger client base, so we were doing okay now. Thankfully, the shop offered health benefits that started immediately because I was sad to say at my last shop, they didn’t offer it. I was glad that Lennon’s emergency room visit hadn’t set us back for a while, so I was able to splurge and get us some of the junk food that she and I both enjoyed.
When we got home, several hours later, I had a missed call from Morgan and a text from Jase wanting to meet for lunch. I texted them all and told them of our busy morning and that I was putting Lennon down for a nap, but if they wanted to stop by after lunch, they could do what they really wanted to do and check on Lennon. They both agreed, and Lennon was just getting up, though still a little fussy, but very excited to see her friends when they walked in.
“Daddy! Yook!” She pointed her finger excitedly to both Jase and Morgan, unsure of who to run to first. Jase dropped into a crouch, and my girl was off.
“Hey pretty girl, you feeling better?” He asked her, listening patiently as she jabbered her nonsense with a few intelligible words thrown in, like “baby” and “hair.” She also seemed to be talking about a kitty cat, which I have no idea where it came from, but they listened and cooed in the right places, making her giggle and squeal happily. We all followed her to the living room where we took seats on the couch, and I offered them both a drink; Morgan got up to get them, and Lennon was showing Jase her new doll.
“Is that from the hot doctor?” Morgan asked, coming back into the room with three sodas and a sippy cup.
“Yep.” I could feel myself starting to blush and wanted to kick my own ass. Hopefully, my beard hid the evidence of my ridiculousness.
“I’m sorry, hot doctor?” Jase inquired.
“He’s a nurse, not a doctor,” I informed them both, earning an eye roll from Morgan.
“Still, he was hot, and he had eyes for Mr. Burly, here.” Morgan tattled.
“Shut it.” I almost growled. I didn’t want to get into it, mostly because I was embarrassed by my searching him out last night and my being unable to stop thinking about him since.
“Oooh, now you have to spill it.” Jase nagged.
“There’s nothing to tell, he was doing his job, and he liked Lenny,” I tell them honestly. There were a couple of times where our stares held a minute or two, longer than necessary, but he never gave any indication that he would be interested in anything at all.
“He gave you his number.” Morgan pointed out.
“He gave me his card, totally different,” I argued my point.
“I’ve been to the emergency room several times and a doctor, nurse,” he clarified before I could open my mouth to argue, “has never given me their card with their private number on it.” Morgan finished.
“He gave you his number?” Jase asked, excited now.
“He gave me his card.” I tried to reiterate.
“Have you called him?” Jase asked, again, missing the point where it wasn’t a big deal.
“Uhm, no,” I say like they’ve lost a marble or two.
“Why not?” They asked at the same time. Obnoxious, both of them.
“Just didn’t, so what’s new with y’all?” I tried to change the subject; neither were having it.
“Stop being a pussy; I know you were interested,” Morgan commented, surprising the shit out of me. That was a very Kingsley thing to say; I’d have expected it from him; never Morgan. “You should’ve seen him about swallow his tongue when the dude walked in.” Morgan gossiped to Jase.
“Aww, that’s cute.” Jase crooned. “What’s his name?”
“Jay,” I say, automatically, liking the way it sounds, it suits him.
“Well, I say you’re an idiot if you don’t call him. It’s not like you have to see him again if he says no. What’s the harm in just seeing if he’s interested in going for a drink or something? No one said you had to marry the guy.” Jase suggested. A drink wouldn’t be so bad, I guess. The worst he could say was “no” and it wasn’t like I made a habit of hanging out at the hospital. I’d gone this long without running into him so obviously, I probably wouldn’t again, unless I made a conscious effort to do so.
“Alright, if I call him, will y’all shut up about it, please?” I asked. They both beamed. I rolled my eyes again, noticeably, and thankfully, they both agreed.
“So, we have an appointment with a second agency about adopting. The one out of Glendale, didn’t look too kindly on same-sex parents and even though they say it’s legal; you could most definitely tell that they weren’t for it.” Morgan started to tell us how terrible their experience had been so far and how terribly they treated him and his husband. They were far better fit to be parents than even I was and nobody made any bones about giving me a kid. I didn’t understand why it was so hard for people, anyone who passed the qualifications to adopt a child. There were so many in the world who needed good homes. So many.
“So, we spoke with Mr. Demery and his daughter is a social worker. She’s seeing us Monday at nine. I cannot wait.” His smile was blinding. I made a mental note to pray for them. They deserved all the happiness in the world, and they deserved to share all the love that radiated between them, with a child who needed it.
“That’s amazing. Are you guys hoping for a baby or does age matter?” I ask, wondering if they had a preference.
“As much as I’d like to have a baby, start from the beginning and all that; no, we don’t care. We just want to be parents.” He smiled a dopy, ridiculously happy smile.
“Well, I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do.” I reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. Most people would assume by looking at me that I wasn’t the family type or that I wouldn’t have deep feelings about things that are important, but I do. Looks can be deceiving, as is true in my case.
We all sat around chatting and playing with Lennon until she got fussy and needed more ear drops. It was getting close to dinner time, and I had a whole fridge full of options. It seemed silly to go all out for just Lennon and me, so I popped a pizza into the oven and baked us some french-fr
ies. Lennon was a french-fry fanatic. It was rare that I got to spend the whole day with my girl, just hanging out, so by the time bath time rolled around, I let her play for a while and wear herself out.
It took a little coaxing and more than one silly song, to get her to sleep; but when she did, I took a shower myself and got ready for bed. It was only a little after nine, and I wasn’t anywhere near tired, but I was trying to keep myself from getting my laptop and gawking at the pictures of Jay that I’d creepily looked up. I was sure it was a terrible idea, but I did want to call and see if he wanted to have a drink or something sometime with me. I knew that Morgan or Jay or any of the other guys wouldn’t hesitate to sit with Lennon for a couple of hours so I could grab a drink. It was getting Jay to say yes that had my nerves all jumbled up. Grabbing my phone and sliding back into bed; this was the hard part.
Jay
Tonight felt like it was going to drag. I was back in labor and delivery with my new best friend, Ellie. She knew the who’s who and the what's what on not only everyone and everything in this hospital, but also in this town. She claimed me my first night here, declaring us, forever best friends. Who was I to argue?
“How was your dad, tonight, darlin’?” She asked as she did every night we saw each other.
“He’s doing better today; he had a blood transfusion early this morning, and it’s amazing how much better he looked. He was, even more alert, and I stayed longer than I normally would have when he woke up.” I told her. She knew my dad, knew the terrible things he’d done to not only me but other people in this town before he’d gotten incarcerated.
“That’s good, right?” She asked, following behind me and doing our nightly checks. It was mostly quiet; we only had three babies in our department right now, and none of them were serious cases. They were mostly asleep with sleeping parents close by. We were quiet until we finished.
“Yeah, it’s good. I’m just still so confused, ya know? I don’t know how people handle this type of thing. I want to be sympathetic because he’s my dad and he’s dying, but he was so terrible. I feel guilty for being angry, but I just can’t help it. He tries so hard, now. He does seem like a different person now, but how does that erase the man I knew?” I confess to her, knowing that even though she’s the gossip queen, she wouldn’t tell a soul about things that matter. Like this. We sat at the nurse's station, grabbing charts that needed to be updated and split them between the two of us.
“Honey, it’s no secret that your daddy wasn’t a nice man,” She tells me. “It’s also no secret that people can change. Sometimes it takes a life or death situation; sometimes it’s hitting rock bottom and being thrown into the slammer. Maybe he has changed, it seems like it, from what you’ve said. But, ultimately, it’s up to you to decide. In your heart of hearts, can you forgive him?” She asked, bending her head to her chart to start writing. I don’t know what to think in my heart of hearts, to be quite honest, my heart is still hurting. It still hurts to see him and remember every harsh word and painful blow that he slung at me. It hurts to remember being embarrassed by everything he done and every time he hurt somebody else with his actions or his words. It hurts, knowing that he didn’t accept the person I was when I needed him to, but instead waited until he was quite literally on his death bed to make things right.
“Just take it one day at a time, sweetie. Things will work out the way they’re supposed to.” She advises, and so far, that’s what I’ve been doing. Still, I’m more confused than ever.
With Ellie being called to the intensive care unit, I log onto the computer to check my social media. Ever since grandma got a smartphone, she’s been keeping track of everything that is anything, on social media. In all of that, is also me. I wasn’t a fan of all those social platforms, but it’s easier to update her on how I’m doing, rather than calling her every night. I still try to, but it’s easier for her to post things and check in as well. And much more fun, according to her.
I notice upon my twenty notifications, that I have a picture “like” from a: Felix Finnley. Not recognizing the name, I click on the name and up pops his profile page. It’s the hot bearded guy from last night. He’s a tattoo artist because of course he is. Nobody should be that inked up, without it being something they're very passionate about. I decide to do a little snooping since obviously, he’s looked me up, and see mostly pictures of the work that he’s done. However, there are a couple of pictures of a group of guys with his beautiful little girl, inside what I assume is their shop.
I browse the pictures and notice that a few of the guys, most of them with their heads bent, tattooing someone, look scary as hell. They’re all intimidating and tatted up, but there is also a lot of smiling and what looks like, heads thrown back, laughing. I hardly spare the others a glance, because my eyes keep coming back to the big bearded one, who I know as Finn. Felix doesn’t suit him as well as Finn does, but still, it’s cute. I wonder if anyone calls him that. Just as I go to enlarge some of the pictures, my phone in my pocket buzzes. It’s a number I don’t recognize, and my stomach immediately sinks, thinking something might be seriously wrong with my father.
“Hello?” I answer before the second ring has time to start and panic at the moment of hesitation on the other end. “Hello?” I try again.
“Hi, um, I’m looking for Jay Douglas.” He says, hesitantly.
“This is him. That’s me.” I answer without hesitation. My stomach cramps with sudden fear, I’m not ready for this to be the end, if it’s about my dad.
“Sorry, this is awkward,” He mumbles, and I take notice of the deep baritone in his voice. “My name is Finn; you gave me your number last night when I came into emergency with my daughter. I realize this is probably extremely out of the blue, but I wanted to thank you for being so great with her. I didn’t get a chance to thank you before we left.” He says, quickly. My body doesn’t have time to relax from the sudden fear I was experiencing to the butterflies that have exploded in my gut. Holy shit, this is the guy that I was currently checking out, right at this moment. Did I accidentally like something on his page? How could he have known?
“I remember, Lennon, right? How is she feeling?” I tried hard to keep my composure, knowing that he couldn’t see my face that had lit up in flames in embarrassment.
“She was okay today, no fever. I hope it’s not too late that I’m calling.” He questions.
“No, not at all. I’m at work, actually. Overnights tonight.” I inform him, unnecessarily. The man doesn’t need to know my schedule.
“Oh, okay.” He mumbles again. I don’t know what to say from here; I’m absolutely thrown off that he even called. I mean, I did give him my number, but I never thought he’d actually call. I hear him clear his throat, and I brace for what’s coming next.
“I was wondering if you’d want to grab a cup of coffee or something, maybe lunch? You were a big help with Lennon, and as I said, I didn’t get a chance to thank you.” He asked. HE was asking me for coffee, or lunch. Was it a date? Like a thank you, date?
“That’s not necessary,” I tell him. “It’s my job after all.”
“It is. Yeah.” He commented. I wasn’t sure he was going to say anything else, and the silence was becoming a little bit awkward.
“I mean, if you wanted to grab a coffee or lunch or something, just because; I’d be okay with that.” I offer instead. I didn’t want him to think that he needed to take me to lunch or buy me a coffee for doing what I was simply paid to do.
“Yeah?” He sounded hopeful; no way was I saying now.
“Sure.” I smiled into the phone, and I could swear that I heard his too.
“I took off work today to hang with, Lenny, so I’m playing catch-up tomorrow; but I think I do lunch around two if that’s okay? I assume you’re working until morning? You probably need to sleep or something, during the day.” He rambles a little, and I find it ridiculously cute. I’m imagining him being as nervous as I am and by the looks of him, I wouldn’t think
that possible.
“That’d be great, I have somewhere to be around four, so lunch beforehand would be great,” I tell him, unable to wipe the grin off my face.
“Any preferences?” He asks, the awkwardness all but forgotten.
“There’s an awesome “country cookin’” place over on Jackson and third. How about there?” I suggest, really in the mood for chicken and dumplings lately. He agrees, readily.
“I’m looking forward to it.” He says, happily. I reply with the same. It takes us a couple of minutes to juggle getting off the phone, but he makes his goodbye’s, and I tell him I’ll see him tomorrow. My night just suddenly got better.
Of course, as it’s true with anything in life; because I was counting down the minutes until I could have lunch with Felix Finnley, time was moving at a snail’s pace. I told Ellie the story of him and Lennon coming in last night, and I gushed over how adorable they both were. I tell her how forward I was in giving him my card and how embarrassing it was that I’d even done it. I wasn’t complaining now because it seemed that I had a date with a gorgeous, bearded, dad. I showed her his pictures from social media, and she pointed out the people that she knew.
“That there is Kayson and Kingsley Kennedy. Honey, you ought to stay clear of them, it was Kayson’s husband that your daddy put in the hospital.” She pointed out, popping my good mood bubble that I’d been floating in the last few hours since Finn had called. I tilted the computer back to me and studied the people in the pictures that I’d glossed over, before.
There they were, just as big and intimidating as they were the day I’d met them, were Kayson and Kingsley Kennedy. Not only did they all seem really close with the guy I’d just agreed to lunch with, but it also looked like Kingsley was very much “together” with who I remembered was Finn’s “manny.” I also, now that I’m seeing them together remember the manny as the guy that was with Kingsley at the gas station, my second night in town. That would just be my luck, wouldn’t it? It would seem, that without bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.