by Jenny Wood
“Sugar, that has bad news written all over it.” She commented. She was not lying. I couldn’t imagine any of them wanting anything to do with me, ever. That was the only thing stopping me from ever going to apologize personally; much like I’d wanted to do since I got here.
I scrolled through the pictures, taking in all the faces of the people that I’d overlooked before and not only had I not noticed, Kayson and Kingsley, I also noticed the scariest one of all; Jody. That man was like a real life, GI Joe. Color me surprised when I also noticed him arm in arm with a co-worker of mine, Cameron Mars. He frequently worked in labor and delivery with me, but as with any of us, he went where he was needed. That would be a disaster as well if he knew who I was and what I’d done to his family. I could possibly even lose my job. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be here in Madison, but I didn’t want to stir up trouble or give anyone any reason to not want me here while I was.
I should probably cancel with Finn. It would be the smart thing to do. If he knew the type of person my father was or the things I’d said and done to his friends, chances are he wouldn’t want to have lunch with me anyway, let alone ever allow me around his kid; but, why, for once, can’t I have something for me. It doesn’t have to be more than a nice time between two people who were attracted to each other; I don’t have to meet his friends and family or even be around his daughter anymore. I don’t have to confess the shame that comes along with my father or the things I did when I was a terrified, closeted, confused kid. Why can’t I just go on a date with the man and maybe, possibly make out with him, or more if I’m incredibly lucky; which I haven’t been known to be, but am still incredibly hopeful.
It didn’t have to go beyond lunch, did it? It would be fun to do something other than going to work, visit dad and go home. Everything I’ve done since I’d been here, I’d done by myself. Going to dinner, renting movies- I wasn’t desperate enough to go to the theater by myself, go shopping or even take walks in the park’s hiking trail. I was constantly alone, and I didn’t want to be, even if just for an afternoon. Why couldn’t I have that?
Deciding to keep my lunch date with Finn, by the time it was time to clock out at eight in the morning; I was too wired to go home and sleep. I searched through my small closet for something that might make me stand out to someone like Finn, but still be casual enough for a down home, country restaurant. I assume since it would be on his lunch break and he said he had to work today, that we wouldn’t have much time. I wasn’t aware of how much time a tattoo parlor allowed their employees, but most places granted an hour. An hour with Finn, I was excited about it. I wondered if he’d have Lennon, probably not; not if he was coming from work and going right back. Still, I was bummed I wouldn’t get to see her, she was the cutest little thing, and she seemed as taken with me as I was with her. I was glad she was feeling better.
Setting my alarm for twelve-thirty, I figure I might as well make myself at least nap before lunch. I didn’t want to walk in looking like a zombie by the time two rolled around. Plus, the quicker it got here, the better; and didn’t that sound like a kid the night before Christmas?
My alarm set, right on time and I didn’t drag ass like I usually would have. Any other day, I’d just set my alarm to make sure I was awake in time to see dad this evening. He usually napped between 3-6, so I tried to go during those hours, so I wouldn’t have to think of things to say to him. I was feeling guilty about that; I knew that he knew that I was avoiding conversations with him and even though he never brought it up, I could tell that it hurt him.
Not wanting to think of dad or the residual guilt that I carried daily, I focused on getting myself ready. I wasn’t model worthy or anything and I wouldn’t goop myself up to the nines, but I showered and styled my hair while finding a nice button-down shirt with my nicest pair of jeans. They sat low on my hips, and even I’ll admit, they made my ass look nice. I didn’t have to shave because it was nearly impossible for me to grow any sort of facial hair, other than my eyebrows. It was true that I looked my age or possibly even younger, I had a certain, twink-like look to me. I didn’t mind, there were a lot of guys attracted to twinks, and I hoped that Finn was one of them.
I’d made it to the restaurant with plenty of time to spare and decided that I’d call grandma while I waited. I hadn’t checked in today, and I knew she’d be wondering.
“My little Blue Jay, how are you, honey?” She chirped into the phone, making me laugh.
“I’m okay, Grandma. Up a little early after my overnight last night. How are you feeling?” I asked, wondering how she was getting along without me there for company.
“Candice Rowe had her baby, and Glenda and Paul are just beside themselves. They’ve been harping to become grandparents for as long as I’ve known them, maybe now, Glenda will shut her trap.” I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew that Glenda and grandma were friends, but that was just grandma’s way. Outspoken and in your face, she didn’t sugar coat anything. She also told me of a “crystal” fair that she went to recently and she and her bestie, Marleen, went to single’s night at a bowling alley. I wondered how old their other guests were, but I didn’t ask. I just listened to her chatter on about the goings on of her life since I’d last been updated.
“Are you working tonight, sweetheart?” She asks, always keeping tabs on my schedule so she’d know when it was okay to call and not wake me. I told her I was and that I wasn’t, that I was back on days after my all-nighter, and that I was going to see dad after my lunch date. A big mistake that was, I should’ve just told her I was meeting a friend for lunch. I hadn’t meant it the way I’d worded it anyway, it was, just in fact, a date for lunch. Not a date-date. I was hoping it was, but I wasn’t announcing it. Except, I kind of just did.
“Lunch date, with who?” She asked, and I had to explain about him and his daughter coming into the emergency room. I left out the bunch about him being friends and co-workers with the people who were the camel that broke the psycho on my father’s back and made it to where I had to move in with her. I wish I could thank them for that, alone. I didn’t think I’d ever get to, though. Maybe I could drop off a letter on my way out of town or something, just a small explanation, to make myself feel better. I’d look into it. Noticing the time and still wanting to be a little early, I told Grandma that I’d check in with her later after I’d seen dad and she wished me luck on my date. I rolled my eyes but didn’t comment, getting out of my car and walking up to the front door, so I could be seen in case he drove up.
I was nervously shifting from foot to foot, watching the breeze blow the trees, I didn’t even notice when he walked up.
Finn
The guys gave me a hell of a time since I’d let it slip to Morgan this morning that I was going out with the hot nurse, they wouldn’t shut up about it. Thankfully, I didn’t tell anyone that I’d found him on social media, or I’d be forced to show them all what he looked like, and they’d be inclined to give me even more shit. It was all in good fun, I knew that, but I was nervous enough already. I hadn’t dated in way too long, and I wasn’t even sure if this was a date-date. I’d tried to look a little better today than I usually did with my t-shirt and grungy jeans, or a flannel shirt with the same. I knew we were going to a casual place to eat, but I wasn’t to make a good impression. Hopefully, I’d be more coherent than I was when we first met, or when we talked on the phone.
I ignored the catcalls and jeers on my way out, and I flipped them the bird for good measure. I made it to the place with a few minutes to spare, but much to my delight, I spotted him standing just outside the door. He was dressed in a dark, button-down shirt, with dark stone-washed jeans and his hair was styled in an adorable, boy next door kind of combover and fade. It suits him perfectly. He was wearing sunglasses, and I was glad we were going to be indoors because I was desperate to see those, exotic, glowing, white-blue, eyes. I’d thought of nothing else for the last two hours.
“Hey,” He smiled when he finally n
oticed me walking up. The dimple was out in full force, and I couldn’t help but reciprocate.
“Hey, I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” I comment as I hold the door open for him to go inside.
“Not at all, I was a little early.” He looked back and waited. We stepped in and was instantly greeted by the hostess; this place was all country, cabin themed and smelled exactly like all the delicious food I knew would be here. It was an excellent choice; I hadn’t had someone else cook for me, in ages. Not good, homecooked, food anyway.
“Just two?” She asked, and we confirmed. “Follow me, gents, I’ll get y’all a booth.”
We followed to a booth, and we both slid in across from one another. I was hoping that my nerves weren’t showing but judging by his flighty eyes, I assumed that I wasn’t the only one.
“What can I get y’all to drink?” Our hostess asked. I pointed to Jay to go first, and he smiled so prettily.
“I’ll have a sweet tea, please.” He asked politely.
“I’ll have the same.”
“Not a problem. Your server will be Tiffany, and she’ll be with y’all in just a second. Here are your menu’s and y’all enjoy your meal.” She smiled as she dropped our menu’s and we thanked her again before she walked away. I watched Jay, fumble with his menu and I noticed his eyes dart to me several times. I wanted to take his hand or reach across the table for his arm and just let him know that he didn’t have any reason to be nervous. I had no expectations, not really. I had hopes and maybe a couple of fantasies, but I didn’t want him to think that I expected anything from him beyond our lunch together.
“Did you get plenty of sleep after your overnight shift?” I asked, hoping to break the ice.
“I got a few hours. I’m kind of keyed up during the day; I’m not used to being a day-sleeper.” He says, smiling at me up over his menu.
“No way I could work overnight, Lennon is the definition of a morning person,” I tell him, knowing my girl gets up with the sun.
“She’s adorable.” He chuckled, “She still feeling okay?”
“She is; still no fever, thankfully. She does grab at that ear occasionally, and she’s fussier than normal, but I got ear drops before we left the other night and the antibiotic should be kicked in by now.” I say, hoping they’ve kicked in at least. Her fussiness has not been fun.
“Ear aches are no fun; I’m glad she’s feeling better.” He says sincerely. I like the way his voice goes soft when he talks about my girl. Nobody does that but me.
“Hi, fellas. I’m Tiffany, do y’all decide what looks good to ya?” Our bubbly waitress bounced up to our table. I again, nodded to Jay to go first, each time I done that, as well as opened the door for him, his cheeks flushed and he smiled huge.
“I’ll have the chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes and corn and green beans, please.” He answered and handed her his menu.
“That comes with biscuits, y’all want them now or wait for the rest of your meal?” She asked, and he looked at me. I shrugged, either was fine with me. I could wait.
“We’ll wait.” He said.
“And how about you, Mountain Man?” She giggled and turned her entire body towards me. I thought it was rude, myself, but Jay looked like he was seconds away from cracking up.
“I’ll have the country fried steak with white gravy, mashed potatoes, corn and green beans as well,” I answered politely; also, handing her my menu. She tiled her head to one side, flirtily and smiled a sugar sweet smile.
“Those come with biscuits too, honey. You want em, now?” She winked, flashing her pearly white teeth and leaning just slightly towards me.
“I’ll wait, thank you. I don’t wanna be rude and eat before my date, here.” I say, pointing at Jay, who she seemed to ignore until I’d mentioned him.
“Oh!” Her eyes went huge as she twirled around and looked between the both of us several times. “Alright then.” She blushed and chuckled at herself, shaking off her embarrassment. “I’ll get these in and bring em’ out, soon.” She smiled, not making eye contact with either of us before turning on her heel and darting away. Jay watched until she disappeared behind a door and then giggled himself sick.
“I cannot believe that just happened.” He covered his mouth to try and contain it, but he sounded like a giggling chipmunk. “That was amazing.”
“Awkward,” I mumbled, trying to keep from smiling, myself. His giggle was carefree and adorable, and it made his eyes all shiny and bright. I found myself wanting to lean over the table and taste that laughter, myself. He must’ve read something in my face because the smile froze on his face and his eyes went wide before he looked away nervously. I messed it up. He cleared his throat and grabbed his drink, taking a long sip through his straw.
“This place is great, do you come here, often?” I ask, hoping it didn’t sound like the cheesy pick-up line, it sounded like to me. That seemed to relax him a little because once he sat his glass down, he was looking at me with no problem.
“No, it wasn’t here when I lived here before.” He answered.
“You lived here, before?” I asked, sensing a story behind that after watching his body freeze up and the panic dart across his face.
“Yeah, I went to stay with my grandma right before I turned sixteen.” He told me but didn’t elaborate. Those things happen though; I knew that. I didn’t want to ask, in case it was personal or not first date conversation.
“Lennon and I lived in Atlanta before moving here; it’s a nice place to be. Nice place to raise my daughter. Atlanta was too fast paced for us.” I tell him, honestly. There were constantly robberies and break-ins on our side of town. A few weeks before we made our move, our neighbor from down the street was murdered. Something about a gambling ring, I didn’t know specifics. I was just glad to get out of there.
“I’ve never been to Atlanta. I was supposed to go to the Atlanta Aquarium on a field trip when I was in seventh grade or something like that but didn’t get a chance to go.” The way he was picking at his napkin with a sort of sad smile, made me think there was another story there, as well. I found myself curious about all of his stories and wondered if I’d get a chance to ask him of some of them.
“Here’s your grub, boys.” Our server, Tiffany, was back with a giant tray of our food. She sat them down in front of us. “Can I get y’all anything else?” She smiled, professionally polite. I looked to Jay in question and took his smile to mean we were okay.
“I think we’re good. This looks great, thank you.” I told her, honestly. Everything looked and smelled amazing. This was an excellent choice. After she had excused herself, we dug in.
“This is amazing.” Jay moaned around his fork. I was caught off guard by the near indecent moan that I didn’t notice my fork suspended halfway into my mouth.
“What? Did I get some on me?” He looked down at his shirt and wiped a hand across his chest. I cleared my throat and tried to pull myself together. Of course, I’d get half a chub just listening to the man eat. Moron.
“No, no. It is good, you’re right.” I reply, shaking off the stupid.
“How do you know, you haven’t taken a bite, yet.” He giggled that ridiculously cute giggle and winked when my eyes shot to his, surprised that he’d call me out. I smirked at him but otherwise said nothing. We ate in relative silence, only commenting how great our food was and asking the occasional question about the types of food we liked.
“Do you cook?” He asked me as we’d both finished and ordered another glass of tea. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, and I was thankful for that. I didn’t have another appointment until four-thirty, so I was good for a bit, myself.
“Not like this, but I do okay,” I smirk at the small smile, hinting at his lips.
“What about you? Any specialties?”
“Not like this, either. I used to make a lot of spaghetti when I was younger; it was easy; can’t even smell it now. I hate it.” He scoffs. Another story I’ll have to get o
ut of him if we do this again.
“Lennon loves spaghetti; she could eat it for every meal, I think,” I comment, knowing my girl eats the hell out of it. He smiles at my mention of Lennon, and I love it.
“Babies and spaghetti, what else does she like?” He asks, surprising me, really. Usually, dates, if that’s what this is, shy away from kid talk, don’t they?
“Any princess movie with songs. She’s going to be my little singer, named aptly, I guess.” I tell him, knowing she belts out the tune to any and every princess cartoon song that we have, whether she knows the words or not. “She also sits through Roseanne, when I watch it. I’m not sure why the fascination with that, other than it’s amazing; but she watches the reruns with me before bedtime, sometimes.
“That’s cute. The girl has got good taste, I love Roseanne, too.” He agrees.
We talk about different TV shows as well as some of our favorite music. We laugh about reality shows and how boy bands are making a comeback. I tell him about my sister and how I came to have Lennon; the way his face goes soft and the change in his tone choke me up just a little bit. Even though I probably would’ve done the same thing and knowing the little angel that I know now. I don’t doubt my sister’s decision a single bit, even though I miss her like crazy and wish she was still here for both Lennon and me.
I grab my phone to check the time and am surprised when Jay’s dings with an alarm of some sort. He grabs it off the table where it’s sat silently for the last hour and a half, and taps it to silent.
“Sorry, I have that alarm set when I work nights, so I can get up and check on my dad before work.” He explains, blushing slightly at our interruption. I’m not sure why it isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.