Nico

by J. B. Hartnett

  There were two things I never asked Lark to show me; one was the wine glasses she had hidden away when she was with Shane. I knew her. I knew her heart and her regret, so I never asked. The second was the wedding dress she’d made. I didn’t ask about it because I wanted to see her in it. But now, I was looking for something else, Georgie. The bear I had given her as a kid. I knew she would have it, and if it was anywhere, it was with the dress and wine glasses.

  When I walked into the cottage, everything became clear to me. I thought about the quilt she’d wrapped herself in that first night when she was drunk. One square had a bear, one had a baby, which I now assumed was Dee, another had a cactus which must’ve been Hemet… how did I not figure it out before? How did she not figure it out?

  I suppose neither one of us thought we would ever see each other again. At the ages of five and seven, not knowing each other’s name, what were the chances? But she’d told me that her dad had murdered her mom, that she’d met a boy when she was a kid, and I told her about Dish. Had either one of us said just a little more, we could have been through this months ago and moved on.

  Now, I had all sorts of shit working against me, and I could only hope that she would understand. This wouldn’t be what ruined us. The real test for her would be the knowledge that I had been there for all the bad shit that happened in her life. She could see beyond the secret; I was positive about that. But now, she was always going to associate me with pain and loss, the loss of her mom and the loss of our baby. That was the part that scared the fuck out of me.

  I moved a few things out of the way and saw a long white box. I did my best to leave everything else around it undisturbed and carefully removed the lid. Inside, the dress was arranged with tissue in a clear, plastic garment bag. I was sure what I saw through the thin paper was a thing of beauty, and I was right. Lark had outdone herself with her own gown. I took out my phone and checked the time. Ten minutes until I was due to meet the girls. I took a few photos, thinking I would sketch it out exactly as I envisioned later.

  In another box, almost like he’d been laid to rest, was Georgie. I wanted to fuckin’ weep when I saw him, but I held my shit together and got the fuck out of there. I closed the lid to Georgie’s empty box and returned everything how it was when I got there, locked up behind me, and quickly went to hide Georgie in the safe.

  ***

  I could hear Lark’s laugh as I walked up behind her and took her in my arms. She turned around, and I guess she could see something was wrong.

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  I cradled her face in my hands and said quietly, “I found you.”

  Dee cleared her throat next to us. “Hello. I’m standing right here. Get a room.”

  I looked at Dee and hoped she could see that I was silently begging her to give me some time. I couldn’t just spit this out. I needed to do it right.

  We walked home along the beach, and I told the girls the story of how I dragged my leg up the billion stairs when I was attacked by that shark. I was happy that even Dee had cracked a smile, and hoped she was finally warming up to the idea of me, but I feared she was determined to do everything in her power to get me out of Lark’s life.

  Lark, on the other hand, was clueless. Either that or she chose to ignore the mutual animosity between myself and the woman who was not only her best friend, but basically her sister.

  We settled Dee into the cottage. Lark’s old bedroom was just how she’d left it and had pretty much become a huge walk in closet. Her parents would be there in the morning—more awkward moments to look forward to—and I, for one, was praying to everything that I would find a way to do this.

  Lark came to bed dressed in a cute little camisole and matching shorts with frilly lace on the butt. It should have been the last thing on my mind, but seeing her in those things made my dick immediately hard.

  “Fuck me, babe,” I said and smiled at her.

  “You like?” She threw her chin over her shoulder and batted her eyes?

  “Like? Those little shorts were made for your ass and your ass alone. Come here,” I demanded and pulled her onto the bed.

  I grabbed both cheeks in my hands and squeezed. “Think you can keep it down? I’m gonna fuck you hard, babe.”

  “Wet. Right here.” she said looking between her legs in that breathy sex voice. “Totally wet.”

  I kicked the sheet down and yanked the shorts over her ass. She moved up quickly and pulled them off one foot, then the other, and returned my hands where they had been.

  “Like that?” she asked.

  “Yeah, babe.”

  There was no need for foreplay. I could not only hear that she was ready, I had already felt how wet she was through those little shorts. She stood up on her knees and sunk down slowly. Her eyes closed and her head went back on each descent. In that moment, knowing who she really was, the fire that already burned inside me for her, and her alone, had just gotten brighter.

  I couldn’t have held her any closer if I tried. Our mouths met and parted ways to find another destination to give each other pleasure. She bit my neck, I sucked her nipples, she drew her nails up my ass and my back, and I pushed deep inside her. Our rhythm steady and ongoing for what seemed like hours, and probably was. She came, then I came, but we never stopped

  I didn’t even remember falling asleep. But something hit me, sudden, sharp, and painful right in the middle of my chest.

  “Nico! Nico! Wake up! Nico!”

  I could hear her, but I couldn’t answer.

  “Nico!” she urged.

  She was crouched in the bed next to me, her hands on my cheeks. “Nico, baby, please snap out of it. You’re scaring me, please!”

  I drew in a deep breath, like I was drowning. I had been looking right at her the entire time, but didn’t respond until that moment. “Lark?”

  “Nico?” she cried.

  “Fuck me.” I grabbed her and pulled her into me. “Fuck.”

  “Nico, what happened? You started gasping like you couldn’t breathe, and then I couldn’t wake you up.”

  I could hear how scared she was. “I think I had a nightmare, fuck. Hasn’t happened since… since I was a kid.” But this was different. It was real. Whether it was the fear of losing her or what, I had no idea, but I felt a real pain right in the middle of my chest. I sat there, rubbed one hand on the spot, but then I saw Lark, so scared next to me. “I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s okay,” I soothed.

  “What is it, Nico? You can tell me what it’s about,” she said in that small voice I hadn’t heard in months.

  “I’m not lying to you. I really don’t remember.” I brushed her hair from her face. “Let’s go back to sleep. We both have a big week, yeah?”

  “You’re sure you’re okay?”

  “If it happens again, I’ll get sleeping pills.” I smiled.

  “I love you,” she said and squeezed my hand.

  I laced my fingers with hers. “I love you, too,” I said and pulled her to my body.

  When her breathing became even, when I was sure she was asleep, I whispered, “I found you.”

  ***

  Zack and Frodo were in rare form. It was Thursday and the decision had been made to close the studio early on Friday, the day before Zack and Teensy’s wedding, for their joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Everything was ready for the ceremony the next day. The weather was prefect. Everything was in order. Moira had outdone herself as assistant, best friend, and wedding coordinator.

  The only thing that wasn’t ready was me.

  I listened to Frodo telling Zack he was sure the Feds would never question him about his time in Germany. Now that the country was part of the E.U., they had no reason to ask him about his involvement. Frodo was pretty fuckin’ good at giving just enough information to make whatever he was telling you believable, but only I knew the truth. And I enjoyed watching Zack squirm so much, I just sat and listened. Shaking my head for dramatic effect every
now and then and making comments like, “Fuck man, that’s some serious shit.”

  Zack didn’t seem to realize he was getting married, that or he didn’t care. Whatever had happened before to make him freak out, it was temporary. Teensy ruled his world, and he was lost without her direction. She was his true North, and it was kind of beautiful to watch. He could be clueless about some shit. He could also be an absolute, inconsiderate dickhead too, but when it came to Teensy, he would do anything and everything to make her happy.

  I hadn’t spoken to my folks in over a week. They didn’t try to call me, and I didn’t call them. I was happy they were giving me the space I needed, but it didn’t matter. I had Dee, in my face, watching me and sticking to Lark like glue, every minute of the fucking day and night. But today, Lark had managed to ditch Dee and asked me to meet her at our café downtown.

  She was sitting outside, wearing huge black sunglasses and a red halter dress with little black sandals.

  “You look like a movie star, babe.” I leaned down and kissed her cheek.

  “Thanks, baby.” After my nightmare, the term had become her new name for me. Not all the time, but when the moment called for it, she used it.

  She wanted a blueberry muffin; I ordered plain, black coffee. “Everything all set for the wedding?”

  “Yep. She has her dress and all the fixin’s.” She smiled.

  “And what about you? You all set?” I asked and took that first scorching sip of coffee.

  “I’m not sure yet,” she answered in a kind of offhanded way.

  “What do you mean? I thought you had a dress and all that shit months ago,” I teased and grinned at her.

  “Do you think that dress makes me look like somebody’s mother?” She took a bite of muffin.

  “What, like it makes you look old? No way, you look hot in that dress.” And I proved it to her when I fucked her against the wall of the bedroom wearing it, tags and all.

  “I want it to look like I’m going to be somebody’s mother, Nico.” She put down the muffin and smiled at me.

  I felt my chest get tight. “Yeah?”

  “It’s early, so let’s not tell anyone this time. Just to be on the safe side. But I went to that new doctor and he was great. He said they’re gonna monitor me closely and—”

  I didn’t give her a chance to talk. I pulled her up from the chair and kissed her. Then, to let her know that I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought, I dipped her in the middle of the sidewalk and kissed her like she was my fuckin’ movie star.

  She took a breath and asked, “Do you have time to take me home and do whatever the hell you want with me?”

  I lifted her up. “Wrap your legs around me, babe.”

  “I didn’t mean in the middle of the sidewalk.” She laughed as I held her ass and walked with her legs wrapped around me.

  “Kinda want the world to know what a lucky bastard I am,” I grinned at her.

  “Just don’t drop me… precious cargo and all,”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it, Lark.”

  ***

  We’d barely made it through the door when she attacked me with kisses. “God, I’m horny.”

  “Gotta get you out of those panties, unless you want me to tear them off,” I said and lifted her dress to discover… she wasn’t wearing any. “I walked an entire city block with your naked pussy against my dick? Which, you know as well as I do, was like a fuckin’ rock.”

  “Yep,” she said and paused her fervent kisses to grin at me.

  “You are the perfect woman, you know that?”

  I kicked off the sandals I was wearing, didn’t even bother taking off my shirt, and Lark shoved my shorts and boxers to the floor. She was about to take off her dress when I said, “No way. Dress stays on, babe. I’m gonna wall fuck you, I’m gonna do it quick, I’m gonna do it hard, and I’m gonna make you come. Then I’m gonna go to work for a while and come home and do it all over again, so you tell Dee she needs to find something else to do tonight, because tonight, I’m celebrating with you.”

  I pushed her backward until she was against the wall. She jumped up and I held her ass as I pushed myself into her.

  “Ah!” she gasped as I lifted her up, my arms shaking after carrying her for a block already. The red fabric bunched around her waist, and with a firm tug of the tie behind her neck, I had access to her beautiful breasts. I took them into my mouth, one at a time, while I pushed into her. “Harder, Nico. You won’t, you know, hurt anything.”

  “Honestly, babe, wasn’t even thinking about that. I was just enjoying being buried inside you. You want it hard?” I pulled back a little and drove back in while I held her ass firmly.

  “Oh, yes!” she said on a breath.

  “Like that?” I grinned and did it again as she tightened her arms around my shoulders.

  “Fuck, yes! Please, I need to come, please, please, please!” On each please, I thrusted harder, and I could hear her breath become jagged. “Now!” she cried out.

  Two more hard thrusts, I held her there, the bottom of my dick and my balls right against her while we came together.

  “Fuck me,” I said and kissed her as I let her down slowly. “Don’t move.” I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and kneeled down to clean her up.

  “You know, I’ve never had a guy do that before,” she said.

  “Would you rather me not?” I already knew the answer. I could see it in her eyes.

  “Nico.” She smiled down at me. “Go to work and hurry up and get that tight butt back to me. I’ll make sure Dee isn’t here. Just us tonight. Besides, tomorrow, big party!”

  Yeah, it was going to be a full-on couple of days. And even though I hadn’t heard from her, I knew I was running out of time with Dee.

  Chapter 19

  Dear Dish –

  I sat on the porch with the pen in my hand, but I couldn’t think of what to say. Dish had a name and a face, and I was in love with her. That sense of dread, the fear that it was all going to end, scared the fuck out of me. I was putting off the inevitable and probably making it worse.

  Lark was fast asleep when I heard footsteps.

  “Nico?” I put the journal down. I knew that voice.

  “Tawn?” I asked, stunned as she came into the light. “What are you doing here?”

  “I need your help,” she said.

  I walked down the porch. “What do you mean you need my help?”

  I was about a foot from her when she opened the winter coat she was wearing. It was a really warm night but she had been standing there in that coat and sandals… and boy shorts. No shirt, no bra. The street light was at her back so I couldn’t see she was naked from the waist up. “What the fuck are you doing, Tawn? My fiancé is asleep in the house. You need to fuckin’ leave. I don’t know why you’re here or what you expect from me but—”

  She came closer and forced my hands to her tits.

  “Fuck you, Tawn, I—” but they weren’t there. “Jesus!” I pulled her into me and held her to my chest.

  “I didn’t have clean margins. I know you know about this stuff because of your mom. Anyway, they took them. We decided on an aggressive treatment, but I’m having reconstructive surgery next week. I know you hate me… but…” she said as my shirt soaked up her tears. “But I wondered if you would tattoo them… after… I have a couple of ideas, a kind of garland of daisies maybe going from my shoulder… a daisy on each breast like a pasty, since I won’t have nipples.” She laughed. “Will you do it?”

  I tipped her head up, wiped under her eyes, and kissed her on the lips. It wasn’t romantic, but it was familiar. At the end with Tawn, I couldn’t stand her. But I did see a side of her she kept hidden from everyone else. I never knew why. Could be because her parents got divorced when she was in high school, I didn’t know. But this one hit a little too close to home. She knew I wouldn’t say no, couldn’t say no.

  “Of course I will.” I leaned down, picked up the coat and wrapped it around her shoulders
. “You’ll need a couple of months at least for the scars to heal up a bit if I have to tattoo over them. It all depends how they heal, how you take care of them… Just call me,” I said and brushed her hair back. I kissed her cheek and watched her walk away.

  “Thanks, Nico,” she said.

  “Yeah.”

  When she was out of sight, I just sat down in the middle of the path and let my head hang there a minute. Then I took my phone from my pocket, found the number I needed and waited for an answer.

  “Mom.”

  ***

  Lark was up, showered, and dressed while I was still in bed.

  “Babe?” I called out.

  She appeared in the doorway, a cloud of energy buzzed around her. “I made coffee and I went out and bought bagels. I don’t care what anybody says, I need cream cheese. Smoked salmon I can live without, but cream cheese, no way. No. Way!” She smiled, ran to the bed and jumped on top of me.

  “You excited, babe?”

  “She’s wearing my dress tomorrow. Wait ‘til you see it, Nico. It’s going to be beautiful… well, she’s going to be beautiful in my dress. But I know these people. It’s not like the other wedding. This one, I’ll be able to hear what people really think. Oh, and we were there! We were there to see it all happen. The proposal, everything. It’s very romantic.” I could swear I heard her sigh.

  “Ours’ll be like that, too, Lark. But better.” I smiled.

  “Promise?” She leaned down and kissed me.

  “Absolutely,” I said and kissed her back.

  “Okay, I’m gonna go pick up your tux. Your shoes are all polished up and—”

  “You didn’t have to do that. I can polish my own shoes.” I chuckled.

  “Isn’t that a wife thing to do?”

  “I have no idea,” I said, and I honestly didn’t.

  “I’ll see you at the party tonight. I’m going to get my nails done with Dee, Teensy, Becca, and Moira. Girly day,” she said as she grabbed a pair of flip flops from the closet.