by Kar, Alla
“It’s been so long, Kitten. We’ve missed ya ‘round here,” he whispers, stepping back he smiles. Damn it. Those perfect straight teeth are still intact. I was hoping a bull would have knocked them out.
“Yes, it’s been a while,” I mumble, looking at my daddy over Levi’s shoulder. He has a dark eyebrow cocked and is slowly eating his sandwich, enjoying the entertainment. I narrow my eyes at him.
“I saw ya earlier in the window,” he says, his eyes sparkling. “Were ya takin’ a bath?”
Heat floods my face and I squeeze my fingers together. Levi scratches his heavy jaw and laughs.
“Yes, I heard something and I was looking to see what it was.” Turning toward Momma to stop the embarrassment, I stammer, “Momma, has Mamaw made it back yet?”
She shakes her head, not giving any words to make Levi go away, just staring wide-eyed at me. Damn it, Momma. Say something.
“Bridget,” Levi says, resting his calloused hand on my elbow, I look down at it and he doesn’t move. “I’m really sorry about your papaw.”
His eyes look concerned, full of care. I nod and gently, nonchalantly pull my arm away from his grasp. His tanned arm falls back to his side, but his dark brown eyes never leave mine.
“Me too,” I jump when the front door opens.
“Woot!” Holt yells. I turn toward him. My older brother is standing in the doorway next to my mamaw. I almost let out a cry of joy. “Little Miz New York is in Texas. Call the damned popo. Wait. That’s me.” He smiles, a big toothy grin and takes two giant steps and swoops me up. “I miss ya so much, lil’ sis.”
I press my face into his shoulder and nod. “Me too.”
“Let her go, you big caveman,” Mamaw says, swatting at Holt’s arm. “Let me get a good look at you.” She holds my hands and spreads them out, her wrinkled eyes moving over my chest. “Your boobs have gotten bigger,” she says and I feel the blush bloom underneath my cheeks. “You’re beautiful, young-un.”
She wraps her soft flabby arms around my waist and pulls me tight. She is a stereotypical grandmother. She is soft, round, gray and squeezable.
“It’s been too long, darlin.’”
“I know,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “It won’t be this long next time.” Stepping back, she places her soft palm on my cheek.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave.” Guilt plunges into my stomach and I hold back the tears. “Well, ‘nuff of this sadness. I need to get supper cookin,’ Levi, you stayin’ for supper ‘gin tonight?”
I cringe. Again? Does he stay all the time?
“Yes, ma’am. If ya’ll will have me.”
Please say no.
“Of course we will, sweetie pie,” Mamaw says walking between Holt and me toward the kitchen.
Ah shit.
Chapter Two
As usual, Mamaw won’t let me help cook. Not that I want to cook, I hate it. That is why God made fast food and take out, because of me. I set the table instead. Holt walks into the kitchen, leans up against the doorframe and smiles. He looks just like Daddy.
“Bridge, what the hell does a guy have to do to get you to come home every once in a while.”
“Funny thing, Holt…” I say, placing the last plate on the table “…airports and roads work both ways.”
He snorts and kicks off the wall. His dark hair is longer than Dad’s and curls around his broad shoulders. “Sweetie, ya know New York isn’t a place for me. They would take one look at me and send me packin.’”
I hit his chest. “Well, they let me in. I’m sure they could somehow find a way to tolerate you.”
He grins. “You were made for New York. You fit in there. You’re happy there.” He nods and pushes his hands in his pockets. “So, Levi,” he whispers, leaning close to my ear. “Must have been some surprise seein’ him here.”
I shrug and try to play it off by pouring some of Mamaw’s sweet tea into the cups around the table. “Just surprising. Thought he would be rodeo-ing or something. Never thought he would still be here.”
Holt laughs. “Suprisin,’ huh? That is the reason you two didn’t work out ‘cuz he wanted…” I look up at Holt and he stops talking. “Sorry, lil’ sis. Didn’t mean to bring it up. It’s gonna be okay. You got that hot shot lawyer up there in New York, anyways.”
Christopher. I talked to him for two minutes in my room after Mamaw started cooking dinner. He was busy. Figures.
“Yeah, you’ll get to meet him soon. He will be coming down in a couple of weeks.”
“I can’t wait to see the guy that can put up with your sassin’ mouth,” he grunts and rubs his large hand over my head.
“That’s the truth,” I hear Levi from the door. My body freezes, and I hate myself for letting his voice do that to me.
“My sister is one of a kind. A smart mouthin’ lil’ she devil,” Holt, says proudly, bringing his lips down to my eye and kisses it.
“Gross. I thought you would have stopped that by now,” I swat at him, trying to rub my eye without ruining my makeup.
Levi walks into the room, and I’m oddly aware of everything he is doing. “Must be some strong Northern man to tame Bridget Wilks.” Holt’s eyes widen and he nonchalantly slips out of the room. I think Levi hasn’t noticed his leaving, but he steps back and I know he can see my brother has left.
I clench my jaw, his words seeping underneath my skin like venom. “You wouldn’t know about strong men would ya now, Levi?”
Levi smirks, the dimple shining on his right cheek. He shrugs his shoulders, and I notice he has changed clothes. He has a red and black plaid shirt over a black t-shirt. His jeans are remarkably tight and loose at the same time. I look up to his face and everything stills. His dark eyes are deep and stormy on me. “So, how you been, Kitten?”
Shaking my head, I control my thoughts. “Great,” I whisper, reaching around and offering Levi a drink. He eyes it and then me.
“Did you put poison in it?”
“Hardly, that would mean I have some kind of feelings toward you. That would be a waste of time.”
“Hmm,” he makes a low sound in his throat. “You’re the one that brought up feelins,’ Kitten. So, they must be on your mind.”
Biting my tongue, I keep my mouth shut, scared I’ll say something ridiculously stupid.
“How’s your boyfriend?” he asks, sipping on his tea.
“Fiancé,” I correct him. “He is fine. He will be down in a few weeks. You can meet him.”
Levi lifts a smooth eyebrow and pops his neck. “Not interested, really. But I probably will run into him, since I work here.”
Anger roars through me. “Yeah, about that. Why the hell do you work here, anyway? Why haven’t you run off with some rodeo?”
Levi sucks his tea through his lips, and I can’t help but let my eyes focus on the fullness of them. He smiles and takes a step closer. “I’m sure you can remember that I didn’t want to leave Texas. I want to stay here, have babies.”
“Have you had one yet?” I blurt out, just trying to throw any insults in his face.
He sits his tea on the table and crosses his arms across his broad chest. The tan of his face blends in so naturally to his dark brown hair. “Nope. No children. That would be absurd at my age. So young to get married and have kids. What a terrible life…”
“Shut up,” I bit through my teeth. “That was a long time ago, and I advise you to stop worrying about it.”
“Me?” he asks, pointing toward himself. “You’re the one with the grudge. Barely speakin’ to me, like I have a disease. Like you can’t stand to look at me. I remember when you couldn’t look away. I’m sorry I’m not good ‘nuff for ya, Kitten.”
“Stop callin’ me that. My name is Bridget.”
He laughs a slow raw laugh that vibrates through my stomach. “Oh, I know your name. I’ve said it once or twice. And you replied with a moan,” he steps forward his dark, woodsy, scent heavy on me, “or a scream,” he leans in and whispers in my ear.
&nb
sp; “How dare you talk to me like that,” I push him away. “I’m getting married. You should know better. You’ve changed.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ve grown up. I can say what I want to say to you now. I can tell you I think your legs look sexy in that dress. I can tell you you’ve,” his eyes drop down to my breasts, “that you’ve filled out nicely. I can also tell you that I missed you while you were gone.” He narrows his eyes, squaring off with me. “I can tell you, you look bitter, miserable and that Chris guy doesn’t make you happy like you say he does.”
Red-hot anger explodes in me. “You don’t know me, Levi. I’ve changed. I’ve grown up. I’m no longer a little Southern belle waiting for her cowboy to take her off into the sunset.”
Levi steps forward, his hand landing on my back. I try to twist away but he grips my wrist and brings me close to him, so close I can smell the minty flavor of his breath. “You didn’t want that, you never did. I tried to be there for you. I proposed. I told you I would be whatever you wanted me to be. I would have been everything for you.”
I tug my wrist away but he holds it still. “No, you wanted to be my everything in Texas. Well to hell with you, there is nothing here I want,” I spit out.
“Who is ready for some fried chicken,’ my mamaw says, coming slowly around the corner. Levi pushes my hands away and turns toward the door.
“Smells great, Mrs. Gaines. You need some help.”
She swats him away when she places the chicken on the table. “No sir, you just sit and enjoy your company.” She winks at me, and I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve been enjoying our reunion so far.” He smiles and tips his imaginary hat at me.
Southern bastard.
***
The table is full of okra, chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes and my favorite sweet potato pie.
I sit next to Holt like we used to, but now he keeps elbowing me with his huge arm, he has grown since the last time I sat at this table. “Scoot over, big foot,” I whisper and he smiles, a mouth full of food hanging out. “Gross,” I say.
“Where is Papaw, is he not eating?” I ask and the table dies down. I have been avoiding Levi’s stare all throughout supper, but I give him a sideways glance and he is looking at me and it seems sincere. That frightens me.
Mamaw clears her throat. “We have to feed him, hon. He has already had his supper.”
“What?” I whisper, pain thudding in my chest. “He is that bad?” I ask, low, ashamed that I didn’t know.
Daddy, who is sitting on the other side of me, nods and places his big hand on my shoulder, rubbing softly. “He has gotten pretty bad lately, princess.”
I hold back my tears and pretend to pick at my okra. Momma breaks the silence. “So, the fair is comin’ Friday night, Bridge. You gonna go?”
I snort and shake my head. “Probably not. I haven’t been in…” I trail pretending like I’m trying to remember, but I already do.
“Senior year,” Levi says, taking a long drink of his tea. “Me and you went, ‘member?”
“Yeah, I remember,” I mumble and stuff my mouth with cornbread to save me some time.
Mamaw is staring at me and I really wish she would stop. “Maybe you two could go again. For old times’ sake.”
There goes my cornbread. I cough it up and it lands in my plate. I drop my head to hide my blush and pick it up with my napkin.
“Ew,” Holt says, elbowing me. “Nasty ass,” he mumbled.
“Language, Holt,” Momma says, shaking her head.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Levi, who is still staring at me, picks up the sweet potato pie and puts a piece on his plate and reaches over to give me a piece. “I would love to, Bridget. If you don’t think Christopher would mind.” He lifts an eyebrow. “You still like sweet potato pie, right?
I glare at the pie and wish I could take the fork and poke him in the eye. “He woul…”
“Of course, he wouldn’t,” Mamaw says, getting up to put her plate in the sink. “That’s ridiculous. And yes, she still likes it. I’ve seen her eyeing it all night.”
I grit my teeth and narrow my eyes at Levi. His dark eyes are watching me and a dark playful smile is pulling at his lips. “It’s a date then, huh, Bridge?”
I grip my cloth napkin on my lap and smile. “Of course, should be fun,” I lie.
“Cindy and me are goin’. You can go with us,” Holt says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Who is Cindy?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows.
He rolls his eyes. “Just this girl.”
“Trashy girl,” Momma says, giving Holt a look. “She wears the most revealing clothing I’ve ever seen, Holt. You are such a hound dog.”
“Woof woof,” he barks, laughing and I can’t help but laugh with him. “It’s just a good time, Momma.”
She wipes at the corner of her mouth. “A nasty, vulgar time.” Sighing she glances at Levi. “So, where is Mary? Are you two still seein’ each other, sweetie.”
My eyes widen, but I keep them focused on my plate, not wanting him to see the look in my eyes. I take a bite of the pie despite Levi giving it to me. Heaven. “We’re datin.’ Takin’ it slow. Nothin’ too serious.”
“Well,” I say putting down my napkin, “You better take her to the fair, she might get jealous.”
He lifts an eyebrow and laughs. “Nope. Not the jealous type. She will know nothin’ is goin’ on between us.” The way he says it makes me grit my teeth.
“Good to know,” I say, taking another bite of my pie.
“See you haven’t lost your appetite,” Levi mumbles underneath his breath. I fight the urge to throw the rest of my pie in his face. But that would make me mad…wasted sweet potato pie is a sin.
The rest of dinner goes by slowly. I desperately want to go get into my bed and curl up, but everyone moves to the porch and I know I need to go with them.
I sit beside Holt in the swing, and he starts swinging us high. “Stop it,” I say pushing my shoulder into his.
He laughs, and Daddy comes and pops the back of his head. “Stop it before you break the damned thing.”
I stay quiet, avoiding Levi’s glares and look up at the starry night. It has been so long since I’ve seen a clear Texas night.
“I remember when Bridget used to pull me out here and make me put her on my shoulders,” Holt says. “She used to say that she could get closer to the stars that way.”
I smile and rest my head on his shoulder.
“Bridget always got her way,” he laughs. “Daddy’s little princess.”
“That’s right.” Daddy says, nodding his head, winking at me. We sat out there for a good thirty minutes talking before Mamaw excused herself to bed.
“I guess I’m goin’ to hit the sack, too,” I stand up. “Jet lag and everything has me really tired.”
Holt slaps my butt and grins. “Goodnight Northerner, us Southerners like to get up early so be ready.”
I smile back at him. “I remember,” I say, leaning down and giving Momma and Daddy a kiss. Levi is standing by the doorframe, a daring glint in his eye. He doesn’t move when I walk up to him. He stays still, his dark eyes testing me.
“Excuse me,” I say as nicely as I can. “I need to get through.”
He bows and gestures me through. I want to push his head down in the dirt and stomp on it. Instead, I push past him and go to bed.
****
The damn rooster is up at the crack of dawn. It’s been so long since I heard its hoarse holler. I sit up to see the sun has barely risen and I lay back down. Pulling the pillow over my head I try to go back to sleep. The rooster squawks again and I sit up. There is no way I can go back to sleep now.
I tiptoe out of the bed. I pull my hair back and slip into a pair of blue jean shorts and my tank top. The only thing that is weather appropriate for Texas. I slip out of my room and down the hallway. I peak into Momma and Daddy’s room. Dad’s side of the bed is empty, but Momma is curled up in th
e middle sound asleep. I slowly shut the door and go toward the kitchen. The coffee is fresh and I know Daddy probably made it before he went to work down at the local chemical plant.
I pour myself a cup and sip on it while I look out the window, watching the horses gallop. I find a pair of flip-flops by the door and slip them on. The sun has broken the barrier of the hills and is brightly shining. I haven’t seen a view like this in years. It’s nice to see the sun and not the top of another building while waking up for a change.
When I reach the barn, I stop. I haven’t been in the barn since… You will not think of that. Shaking my head, I walk toward the back stall, glancing at all the new horses, but I know which one I want to see. The hay smell is heavy and light seeps through the cracks, shining a path in front of me. My feet fall effortlessly into the soft hay and I slowly take in the freshly painted stalls. I smile. Papaw takes such good care of them.
On the left, in the back stall, stands Halo. I stop and take in her beauty. Her golden mane is freshly brushed. Her light brown eyes are shining. I brush my fingers against her nose and she moves her head. “Hello, pretty thing,” I coo, opening my palm to let her smell. She snaps at my fingers. “Ouch,” I say, pulling my fingers back in. She is testing me. “You wanna go for a ride, huh?”
Slowly, I open up the stall door, moving and pushing the gate up against the wall. “So, Halo, it’s been a while,” I say, watching her watch me, I reach into the bucket next to her stall. I pull out an apple, and hold it in my palm. “So, what’s it going to be, girl? You gonna follow me, huh?” I let her smell the apple and she takes a snap at it. “Nope,” I pull it back. “Nope. You have to come get it.” I start to walk back and she moves forward slowly. “There ya go, girl.”