Eagle River

by Isabelle Kane

  Galen glanced from Kyle to Tom. Wow. Kyle never asked for anything. Please say ‘yes,’ Coach. Please.

  “You got it,” Tom answered. “You’d be doing me a favor. I’d like the company for the drive... Now Galen, you’re the man of the hour. Have you made any decisions yet? I thought I was invited over to celebrate an official decision. So let’s have it.”

  All eyes zoomed in on Galen.

  “I’m going to be an Illinois University Bearcat.”

  For a few seconds, everyone remained still, silent and surprised. Tom was the first to recover. He stood up. “Congratulations.” He grabbed Galen in a bear hug, though the younger man stood stiffly throughout, as if braced for an onslaught.

  “Why Illinois U?” Sandra queried softly. “I thought you always dreamed of being a Coyote or a Badger.”

  “The Bearcats are weak at QB. I’d get to play next year.”

  “You’re not going to red shirt a year?” Kyle demanded incredulously.

  “I’m going to college to play ball. I want to play ball. Not watch.”

  “But you’d play in a year or two anyway at Great Lakes University. Cam Fawst is two years older than you are, right?”

  “For me, it’s going to be Illinois U,” responded Galen firmly without wavering. “I’m not going to sit on a bench behind that asshole again. I did that for two years in high school and I’m done with it.”

  For a moment, everyone froze, processing the anger and hostility in Galen’s voice.

  “Okay, then, baby brother.” Kyle met Tom’s gaze. Tom shrugged eloquently.

  “I just kinda wanted to see an Odgers play in the Coyote Den,” Kyle referred to the stadium at Great Lakes University. “And Chicago is farther away than Milwaukee.”

  “Kyle’s just being difficult because he’s going to miss you, Galen. The kids, Joe and I will come see you,” Sandra inserted.

  Galen eyed Kyle cautiously, hoping for some sign of acceptance.

  “All right, Galen. If Chicago is the place for you, then what’s a couple of hours’ drive?”

  “Pop?” Sandra asked. “You joining us?”

  Everyone turned to see Jim Odgers standing in the doorway that led out to the living room.

  “Hey Pop!” Kyle threw an arm over his brother’s shoulder, swinging Galen with him until they stood facing their father. “Pop, did you hear the news? Galen’s going to be a Bearcat!”

  For his part, Galen inhaled the whiskey scent of his brother’s acceptance with relief.

  Jim Odgers looked confused. “What’s going on here?”

  “Isn’t it great?” Sandra exclaimed.

  “Football, Jim,” Tom broke in. “We’re talking about football. Galen accepted a scholarship to play football for Illinois University.”

  “This football stuff always seemed kind of foolish to me,” Jim muttered.

  “For Christ’s sake,” Kyle exclaimed, the hostility to his father that always lingered just beneath his surface burst through. “Galen could play pro ball. Don’t you get it, old man?”

  “It just don’t make any sense to me. Grown men playing games. You grow up and you take responsibility. That’s the way that life is.”

  “You mean the way you do, Pop?” Kyle observed sarcastically. “Sitting in the house drinking the day away. Doing nothing.”

  “Kyle,” Sandra cut her brother off. “We have a guest.”

  Jim didn’t say a word. “Boy, you don’t know nothing.” He stood as tall as his oldest son, but his shoulders were stooped, his frame, ghastly thin, except for the protruding belly. His hands were gnarled and cut up with wounds that his diabetes slowed the healing on. His face was weathered far beyond his fifty odd years. The shattered blood vessels of the confirmed alcoholic lined his sunken cheeks. Jim stared directly into his oldest son’s eyes with an identical pair of bright blue ones. “You don’t know nothing.” Slowly, he turned. “I’m going outside for some air. It stinks in here. Don’t hold dinner for me.” He turned and limped out of the room.

  “It’s the truth. Everyone knows it.” Kyle said defensively. “He hasn’t done a thing since the accident. It’s not like he’s not capable. He could do something, but he chooses not to. But I’m done with it now.”

  “He does have brain damage from the car accident.” Sandra defended her father.

  “And from the drinking,” Galen put in.

  “Sandra, you know Pop shut down on life years ago, even before the accident,” Kyle said.

  “I don’t know why Mom stayed with him,” Galen said.

  “Maybe she felt sorry for him,” Tom offered.

  Sandra glanced sharply over at Tom. “He’s right, you know,” she explained to her brother. “Mom didn’t think he’d survive without her.”

  “So she took care of him until she got sick, too.” Kyle said. “I still think she would have been better off without him. We all would have been.”

  “Just let it go, Kyle,” Galen broke in.

  “Things are going to change now,” Kyle announced. “I’ve given up enough years of my life for this farm. Thing are going to be different.”

  “What do you mean?” his brother asked.

  “Well,” Kyle began.

  “Are you all ready to eat?” Joe broke in, responding to his wife’s raised eyebrow prompt.

  “We do have a guest,” Sandra reminded her brothers.

  “The ribs are ready.”

  “Yes, let’s eat,” Sandra agreed. “Let’s not talk about this now. We have a guest.”

  “I’m hardly a guest,” Tom commented.

  The subject was dropped. So, following dinner and a couple of hours of after dinner conversation, Galen wandered out to the old horse barn, to be alone. He had always felt at peace there. As a kid, he had liked to listen to the sounds that horses made at night; the gentle snorts and the dull thumps of their hooves in the straw. The horses were long gone now. Kyle had been forced to sell the two Belgians that they’d raised as a 4H project several years before. He hadn’t wanted to, but he couldn’t afford to keep the two hay burners around when they weren’t used much except at Christmas time to give wagon rides at a nearby Christmas tree farm. Galen still missed the sweet, warm smell of their big bodies, the aroma of dusty, salt-sweaty, furry bodies. There was still a hint of it in the air, but almost overpowered by the reek of diesel fuel and exhaust that lingered in the enclosed space. Galen walked over to the empty, cobwebby stall and leaned his elbows up against the bottom half of the Dutch door. He had run to this place that horrible night his mother had told him that she was no longer in remission from the cancer.

  In tears, he had run of the house and then to the barn. There, he had buried his face in Jethro’s coarse mane. But she’d come after him.

  “Galen, nothing’s certain. I don’t take what those doctors say as Gospel. They don’t know everything. Only God does. It’s going to be okay.” Jessica Odgers had reached out to touch her son, but he’d pulled away, sobbing fiercely.

  “Mom, it isn’t fair. It just isn’t fair.” He had hiccupped between words. “You just got done with all that chemo stuff and surgery. You should be okay.”

  “I was better, honey, for a while. But it just didn’t last. The cancer has already spread. It was too late. The doctors just didn’t know it. It’s gone all through me.” Her amber brown eyes had filled with tears, but his mother had remained composed. “Galen, you gotta be strong for me. I need your help. So, please don’t turn your back on me now. I’m here right now.” Her voice had caught, she swallowed a sob. Then, she’d reached out, pulled her youngest son to her, and hugged him fiercely. He had hugged her back desperately, then had buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed bitterly.

  “I love you, Mom.”

  “Honey, I love you, too.”

  They’d held each other and cried until there were no tears left.

  That still open, gaping wound deep inside him ached at the memory. But it was a familiar sort of ache. I feel close to her out here s
till.

  Mom. Mom, I need you. We all do. Pop’s drinking himself to death. Kyle’s all torn up inside. Sandra and Joe seem okay, because they have the kids and she’s always been strong. I wish you were here. We’re all falling apart without you. I miss you.

  Galen closed his eyes and pictured her as she’d been before the cancer: her tall, athletic form, the laughing eyes, the dazzling smile. She had always been moving, never still. Everything she had touched had seemed so full of life.

  Mom, help me. I don’t know what to do or even if I am making the right decisions. This thing with Kjersten is eating me up inside. I want it to stop hurting. But I just don’t know how to fix things, after how I treated her. I cut her out of my life. I was hurting so much. I don’t know how things got so screwed up. But how could she hook up with him?

  Chapter Eleven

  Fight

  ~ Cam ~

  Cam groaned as he turned over on his bed. His whole body still ached from a particularly rigorous work out in the weight room on the day before. Half awake and half asleep, Cam’s mind drifted over people and events from his life. Cat! Bitch! What a bad deal. She should have known that it was just sex. I never pretended otherwise. He repressed the slightest twinge of guilt he always felt when he considered his own mother and guys who had used her. Kjersten... don’t want to go there. Don’t want to deal with all of the emotional bullshit. If she had been easier going, I wouldn’t have hooked up with Cat. So this bullshit is sort of her fault. Football, yes. That’s a good thing to think about. His mind drifted back over the years of football, college and then back to high school, back to Eagle River, to being a Warrior.

  It was a cool April afternoon with a bite of frost in the air. Tight. A seventeen-year-old junior, Cam Fawst felt tight with the cold. Spring Captain’s practice had started after school just the week before, and it felt good to be out tossing the pigskin again, to be in charge of the Warrior offence.

  “Nice job, today,” Coach Murray patted his back as he passed through the locker room.

  “Thanks, Coach,” Cam accepted the compliment. “You gonna come out and help tomorrow?”

  “You know I can’t,” Coach protested. “The summer contact days will be here soon enough. We should have a decent team next year. A lot of players are coming back.”

  “Yes,” Cam agreed, wanting to prolong the conversation. Coach treated him like he was special on the team and like he cared. Cam liked to think that there was more to it than that he was the starting quarterback.

  “How are the freshmen looking?” Coach asked.

  Immediately, the image of the tall, lanky freshman, Galen Odgers, popped into his head. The kid had talent. He could really throw the ball and he was patient. Cam shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. “They’ll be all right.”

  “What about Odgers? The kid has an arm, don’t you think? And he can see the plays developing. You can’t coach that.”

  Cam tasted bile in his mouth. “Odgers is okay. But he’s a pussy.”

  “You think so? I haven’t seen it, and I watched him play middle school ball. I think the kid is one cool customer in the pocket. Too bad there aren’t any decent receivers in that class.”

  “Odgers may look decent against other freshman, but he’d get eaten up in a varsity game.”

  Murray eyed him. “I’m not so sure about that. But don’t be worried about him taking your job. He’ll back you up in the varsity games this year, and he’ll play JV. He just needs some reps now. I want you to look out for him, sort of mentor him. Okay?”

  Cam nearly ground his teeth in frustration. “Sure.”

  Coach Murray headed off.

  Cam was still taking his gear off when he heard Galen and the other freshmen come in. Except for Galen, they all gave him a wide berth. Because they were both quarterbacks, Cam’s and Galen’s lockers were located right by each other.

  “Hey,” Galen offered as he passed by Cam in the narrow space.

  Cam just nodded in acknowledgment.

  Galen started to take off his pads and hang them up in his locker.

  Cam bit his cheek in annoyance. The kid bugged the crap out of him. Why did everyone, even Coach Murray, have to like him?

  “Move your stuff over,” he barked at Galen. “This is my spot.”

  The kid said nothing, but he did as he was told, sliding down the bench as he bent down to take off his cleats.

  Cam glanced at him in annoyance. “You know how it works on this football team. It’s the upperclassmen’s job to teach you freshmen the ropes.”

  Galen eyed him warily.

  “Since you think that you’re a quarterback, let me explain your job. You will help bring in the equipment at the end of every Captain’s practice. You got that?”

  Galen nodded his head, but didn’t look at him.

  “And you will carry my bag to the locker room at all games and practices.”

  Galen glanced down and kicked his cleats off. “No.” He shook his head.

  “What?”

  “I said ‘no.’” He looked right at Cam. “That’s bullshit.”

  Cam took an aggressive step closer. “What did you just say to me, Odgers?”

  “I said,” Galen’s voice was calm, but his stance was ready. He leaned forward slightly, as if braced to take a hit or throw a punch. “Carry your own bag.”

  The kid was obviously spoiling for a fight, was angry about something. I’m in the mood to make his day. Cam took another step forward and glowered down at Galen. He drew his hand back and pushed Galen’s shoulder hard.

  Galen was ready for him. He launched himself up at Cam, tackling him at the waist. They crashed into the lockers.

  Cam heard someone yell, “Fight! Fight!” But his vision was filled with red heat and all he wanted to do was kill this kid. He grabbed him by the neck and slammed his head into the ground. Then, he took a punch to the side of the head and fell back.

  “Coach!”

  “Fight!” someone yelled.

  Vaguely, as Cam fought, he was aware of people gathering around of shouting and pushing. Galen was strong and quick, and the contest was proving tougher than he’d anticipated. Then, he felt a strong hand gripping his shoulder, pulling him off, holding him back.

  “That’s enough!” Coach Murray held Cam up against the wall. “What’s wrong with you, two? For Chrissakes, you are on the same team!”

  Cam stood there panting. He glared over at Galen. The kid’s mouth is bleeding. Good. Serves him right.

  Still, Galen didn’t look cowed. In fact, he looked defiant. And furious. He also looked ready to go again.

  “The rest of you, get out of here.” Coach waved his arms. “Get out now! Now!”

  The other players were clearly reluctant to leave, but they followed Coach’s orders. Cam and Galen were left alone in the locker room with a clearly irate Coach Murray.

  “Cam. Galen. Sit on the bench now. Let me make myself clear.” Coach was so upset, he was spitting. He gesticulated, throwing his arms wide. “Cam, I’ve never seen you pull something like this before. He’s a freshman. You could get into trouble for bullying.”

  “He didn’t bully me,” Galen wiped at his bleeding lip. “No one’s going to bully me.”

  “What is this about?” Coach demanded.

  Cam glared over at Galen, but the ninth grader didn’t say a word.

  “What is the problem, Cam? You’re the junior here. Next year, you’re the team captain. You should know better.”

  Cam just shook his head. If Galen wasn’t going to say anything, he wouldn’t either.

  Coach frowned as he looked from Galen to Cam and back again. “All right, if that’s how it’s going to be, let me make myself clear, neither of you are more important than this team. Any more problems like this and you are out. Off the team. Period. No discussion. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes sir,” Cam ground out.

  Galen nodded.

  “Now Galen, go hit the showers. I want a word wit
h you, Cam.”

  Cam glanced down at the ground, waiting for Galen to get up and leave.

  Once they heard the door to the showers swing shut, Coach stood square in front of Cam. “What was that all about, Cam?”

  “Coach,” Cam help his hands wide. “I don’t know what his problem is.”

  “Leave him alone, Cam. I don’t care if you don’t like him, he has a lot on his plate right now. Do you know his story?”

  I don’t give a shit about his story. My mother is a town joke and I don’t have a father. For a moment, Cam was silent as he ruminated. Why do you give a shit about that kid, Coach? What about me? I’ve run through walls for you, Coach! Cam swallowed a lump which lodged in his throat. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Get a grip. It’s not like he’s your dad or anything. But that was the problem. Sometimes he wished Coach Murray was his dad. Heck when he’d been younger, he may even have pretended that was the case.

  “His mom is dying of cancer.”

  “That sucks,” Cam admitted. “But that doesn’t mean he gets to be a little shit and mouth off to me.”

  “Cam, I would think that you of all people would understand how a boy feels about his mom.”

  “Don’t bring my mom into this.”

  “Like you, Galen has been mostly raised by his mother.”

  “He has a father. I know he does.”

  “His father,” Coach seemed to choke on the word, “is an alcoholic. He had a car accident years ago and hasn’t been worth a damn since.”

  “At least he has a father.”

  “Come on, Cam. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. A lot of us have been there for you and this kid needs help now.”

  Cam felt the anger rise up in him. Why is he defending that little shit? What about me? I didn’t have an easy time of it. Coach, why don’t you care about me? I’m not just another one of your players. I thought I was special to you.

  “Look, I’m not asking you to be best friends with Galen, just don’t go after him. He’s hanging by a thread right now.”

  “Yeah,” Cam said and glanced away. “Whatever.”