Evade (The Ever Trilogy)
Page 20
“Anyway,” she continued, glaring at Toby’s hand on mine—I wondered how Ridley felt about the way she still pined for Toby, or if he even knew. “I gave Frankie his life back, as you already know, but I never meant to—”
“Don’t, Ari,” Toby warned. “Don’t tell us you never meant to hurt Ever. Or hurt me.”
“Oh, honey, I would never say that. I absolutely meant to hurt you. Both of you”—she paused, her gaze flicking between Toby and me—“what I never meant to do was place a Soul Brand on her.”
“Are you serious?” I asked, having trouble believing I was in this mess by accident.
“Ari,” Toby growled. “Please don’t expect me to believe you didn’t know what you were doing when you branded Ever’s soul. What do you take me for?”
Ariadne shrugged. “I swear, you guys. I had no idea. I was just trying to scare her.”
“With a Soul Brand?” Toby shouted, leaping from the couch.
Ridley stood up quickly, matching Toby’s stance and mirroring his aggression. “Sit down, bro.”
Toby stepped forward, his shins knocking into the wooden coffee table.
“Toby,” I whispered. This is not the time for a fight. “Come on, sit down.” I reached for his hand, wrapping my fingers around his clenched fist. “I want to hear the rest of Ariadne’s explanation.”
He turned to look down at me, his blue-black eyes blazing.
I nodded, then lightly tugged at his hand. He sat, leaning forward slightly and resting his elbows on his knees. The tension remained in the rigid lines of his shoulders and back.
“Go ahead, Ari. Tell us how you accidentally Soul Branded my girlfriend out of spite.”
“Girlfriend?” Ariadne questioned, one eyebrow raised. “Anyway, it’s like I already said: I didn’t know what I was doing—”
“You expect me to believe you didn’t know about—?”
“Uh-uh,” she said, cutting Toby’s retort off with a wag of her finger. “I knew all about Soul Brands. I just didn’t know how to create one, or that I even had the power to do so.”
Toby flew off the couch once more. “The hell you didn’t! You’re a direct descendant of an Original!”
“Huh?” An original? Once again, Ever was out of the loop.
Toby turned back to me, then sat down beside me once more. “She’s Ted Stone’s daughter, which makes her—”
“Half,” I clarified for him. “She’s only half Ted Stone’s daughter.” Something I’d never forget, because unfortunately, Ariadne was also half of Annabelle Van Ruysdael.
“Yes, half. Which, if we’re being honest, is supposed to be impossible for an Original.”
“Too bad it wasn’t,” I muttered.
“Love you too, sis.”
I glared at her, then focused on Toby once more. “Original?”
“She’s a direct descendant of an Original soul collector, even if only by half, and regardless of how impossible that should be.”
I nodded, growing impatient. I just wanted him to get to the point so we could figure out exactly what I had to do to break the curse. Or Soul Brand. Or whatever the hell.
“She’s more powerful than the rest of us, aside from Ted and other Originals, of course, because she was born a collector, not made into one.”
“Like you?”
“Exactly.”
Ariadne huffed. “That’s all true, but I swear I didn’t know how to brand her, or even that I had the ability to do so. I thought it was something”—she shrugged—“something only my dad could do. Or others like him. Originals.”
“I don’t believe you, Ariadne.”
“I don’t really care, Tobias. And that doesn’t actually matter now, does it? Ever is branded, and the fact remains that in order to un-brand her, she either has to allow one of us to turn her in and collect, or she has to relive that night.”
“But—”
“Or it could be Frankie, honey”—she grinned—“if you don’t want to give up your future with Toby.” Her smile dripped with malice, Ariadne obviously finding pleasure in my pain.
“God, why do you hate me so much?” I whispered the words, accidentally thinking aloud.
Ariadne jumped up from her chair. “Why do I hate you so much? For real? Let me count the ways!” She raised her hand and extended a finger with each point she made. “One: you’re pathetic and constantly in need of saving. Ugh, gag me. Two: you can’t think for your damn self. Three: you have Toby wrapped around your finger, as if having Frankie so far up your butt wasn’t sufficient. Four: you have absolutely no idea how beautiful you are, which makes you all that more attractive, and frankly, it’s infuriating. Five: you’ve had eighteen years with my mother and I’ve had nothing!” She slammed her hand over her mouth, as if she’d never meant to say that.
“You can’t be serious,” I muttered, feeling slightly sympathetic, but mostly defensive. “That’s not my fault.”
“Well, it’s not mine!” She sank back down beside Ridley, without saying another word.
After a few minutes of heavy silence, I spoke up, “So now what? Do I really have to relive that night? That seems so unfair—”
“Ever, honey, you’re Soul Branded. What did you think I would do, just wipe it off like an old grass stain on the knee of your favorite jeans?”
“So what does that mean, exactly?” I asked, ignoring the fact that nasty Ariadne had returned. Get to the point. When she didn’t answer, I turned to Toby, who sighed and gazed down at his hands in his lap.
“Frankie isn’t supposed to be alive, Ever. Giving him a second chance at life was…unnatural. You have to see that. We aren’t supposed to just bring souls back on a whim”—he paused, looking up to glare at Ariadne—“but it could have, and likely would have, been ignored—”
“Until I drew attention to it by branding you. Accidentally, of course.”
I stood, ready to get the heck out of dodge. “Brilliant. Your accident means my death. Or Frankie’s. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Honey, I am always proud of myself.”
“I can’t believe we’re staying here, Ever. I really think we should get on the road.” Toby stood at the window, scanning the forest below—the first time he’d paused his pacing since we came upstairs to this guest bedroom an hour ago.
“I know. And I agree with you, but I can’t shake Ariadne’s comments about the mountain roads at night. Please understand.”
He turned to face me, a small frown tugging at his lips. “I do. I just want to keep you safe…and staying here for too long—”
“Just for a little while, okay? We’ll get some sleep, then head out first thing in the morning. Please, Toby, I don’t want to go out there if the roads are difficult to navigate in the dark.”
“Okay.” He sighed as he resumed his pacing.
“So, my mom…and Ted…that should have never happened? Like, physically, I mean?” I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around my legs. The enormous canopy bed I sat on called to me, but I wanted to stay awake a little longer, learn as much as I could.
“Yeah, see, Ted isn’t supposed to be able to have kids. There’s a group of Originals, and they have to make their family—their employees, really, since none of us consider ourselves related to them. I mean, Ted’s the furthest thing from a father in my book, and I’ve had the worst of the worst. Ariadne is a fluke, I guess.” He ran his hands through his hair as he passed by the bed once more. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense. I mean, I wonder if there are more like her, more descendants of the Original collectors.”
He wasn’t even talking to me anymore, just thinking aloud.
“I mean, hell, if there are more…more like Ari…what would this mean for Collectors? What would this—?”
“Toby?”
He turned, his hand frozen in his hair. His eyes widened, as if he suddenly remembered I was in the room with him. “Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
I smiled and nodded, then
patted the bed beside me. “Why don’t you come sit down? Your pacing is making me crazy.”
Toby scanned the bed, then looked me over. His hand fell to his side, and his chest puffed out as he inhaled a deep breath. His dark gaze locked on mine.
I swallowed, suddenly feeling like I couldn’t breathe, the air thick and heavy.
He scanned the bed, looked around the room, then settled back into the chair in the corner.
Gee, thanks, I thought, trying not to take it personally. I mean, I got that he was trying to be respectful, not push any boundaries between us, but wow, what a rejection.
“I can’t go back to the accident, Toby,” I said, attempting to extinguish the odd feeling between us. Maybe more talking would ease the thick tension in the room.
“I know. I wouldn’t let you anyway.”
“Excuse me? You wouldn’t let me?” I tried to focus on the offensive nature of that statement, instead of the way his protectiveness made me feel so warm inside.
“Ever”—his dark gaze held mine—“I won’t lose you again. I mean, I know you’re not mine, and…well, maybe you never will be. I messed up. So many times I messed things up with you. But I won’t lose you twice. And I especially won’t let you jump into that ravine to—”
“Wait. What did you just say?”
Toby’s eyes widened, then he looked away from me. “I thought you knew; thought you understood. You have to relive that night…you have to…someone has to—”
“Oh my God. I actually have to jump to my death?”
“Or Frankie has to. That’s the only way to get rid of the Soul Brand.”
“That doesn’t make any sense! If I die where Frankie died, how does that make any difference at all? I’ll be dead! Who cares about an effing Soul Brand if I’m dead, Toby?” I jumped off the bed—my turn to pace tracks in the wood flooring. “If I die, whether because a collector turned me in for extra brownie points, or because I swan dived into an effing ravine, what’s the difference?”
“I don’t know how to explain it, Ever. It’s just the way it is. You can either relive that night and take Frankie’s place, or Frankie can relive that night and die the way fate intended, or a collector can turn you in. Those are the options.”
“So basically—if we’re being honest here—there really is no way to reverse a Soul Brand. Because whether I die or Frankie dies…someone is going to die. We can’t both come out of this alive.”
He nodded.
That’s it? You have nothing to say? I screamed at him in my head. Perfect. My life became better and better by the second.
I shook my head. “I’m not face-diving into a ravine, Toby.”
“I’m so relieved to hear you say that. I’ll—”
“I’m not finished. I’m not going to allow Frankie to do it either. I can’t even begin to tell you what that night was like. What we went through”—I paused, trying to rein in the tears. I pushed the grief down, covering it with my anger and hoping it would hold—“and as adamant as you are about not losing me twice, I am a thousand times more adamant about not losing Frankie. I will not”—I held a finger up in the air to silence him when his mouth opened—“I will not allow Frankie to go through that again. I refuse.”
Toby rose, then walked to where I stood shaking in the middle of the room. “Ever, please think about what you’re saying. Frankie would never want—”
“No, Toby.” I pulled free from his hands on my face. “You don’t get to tell me what Frankie would want, or what I want, or even what you want. This is my decision. I am the one who’s branded. No one else. Just me. This is my decision to make.”
Toby looked down, then nodded once. I knew him well enough to know the gears turned inside his head right now and he’d continue hatching a plan for my rescuing until he managed to save me from myself, but this wasn’t up to him. I wasn’t his to save.
I returned to the bed, then sat down atop the covers. I inhaled a few deep breaths, calming myself, and accepted my original decision all over again. Really, nothing had changed. I’d set out on this journey, pretending to be on the run with Toby, but really, I’d just been biding my time until I had to let him turn me over to whoever he had to turn me over to so he could collect on my marked soul. Now, it was either me dying in that ravine, or me dying when Toby turned me over to an Original, or whomever he had to see to collect on my soul’s value. That latter option had to be better than jumping into a ravine at the bottom of Ortega Highway, and it was absolutely better than watching Frankie die a second time.
When I said goodbye to my mom, Jessie and Frankie, I knew deep down it was the last time. I’d had hope for a different outcome, but deep down I knew.
So this was it. My last days on Earth.
I looked up at Toby, who stood frozen in the middle of the room where I’d left him. He was working on his plan, so devious… I had to appreciate the lengths he thought he was about to go to, whatever they may be. I couldn’t deny he loved me and that when it came to saving me I knew he’d do what he could.
Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he called Frankie and my mom and got everyone else involved in saving poor little Ever. But this was my mess to clean up. I may not have started it, but I would finish it.
“Are you cold?” Toby asked, breaking my thoughts. “Do you want me to…?” He motioned toward the fireplace in our guest room.
I nodded.
Toby lit the fire, then turned around to face me. He took two steps toward the bed, then paused, his gaze flicking over my face once more. “I can sleep in Trey’s room. If you want. I mean, if you’re mad at me, or…if you’re uncomf—”
“I don’t want to be alone, Toby. What if that Seeker comes? Or a different one? One that won’t just let us go this time…”
“Okay.” He took another step forward, then sat down on the other side of the bed, his back to me and his shoulders rigid.
My pulse began to race. Something about his sudden uncertainty was intriguing. This confident, often arrogant, guy who seemed to always know exactly what he wanted and how to get it was…what, nervous?
He’d referred to me as ‘his girl’ more than once. He’d called me ‘babe,’ as if nothing had changed between us. He’d kissed me. Three times. And now, in a bedroom alone, in some cabin in Northern California, in the middle of a forest I’d likely never be able to find my way in or out of again, now he chose to be unsure of himself?
Time to stop those gears from turning inside his head. I didn’t have much time left—holy crap, I never thought I’d say that and actually mean it—and I refused to spend my last few days, weeks, or hell, possibly moments, watching Toby brainstorm.
“Toby?”
He turned his head around stiffly, barely moving his body. His gaze found mine, intense and dark, and I sucked in a quick breath. God, he was beautiful.
“Come here, please.”
His eyes widened, just briefly, then he reached down, pulled off his boots, and crawled up onto the bed. On all fours, he watched me, waiting for me to change my mind. I reached out, placed my hand on his cheek, and mustered every last bit of bravery I could find within myself. I pushed up with my free hand, then, keeping my gaze locked with his, I closed the distance between us.
When my lips met his, he relaxed, and the familiar, confident Toby returned. He placed his hands on either side of my neck, thankfully avoiding the raw skin of my cheek, then deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping out to taste my lips, then parting them. His teeth grazed my bottom lip, then his lips molded over mine once more, and his tongue entered my mouth.
He pressed into me, slowly lowering me down to the pillows and resting on his elbows above me. He kissed me relentlessly, making up for the months we’d been apart. He kissed me the way only Toby could kiss me—with confidence and hunger, possessiveness and comfort. As safe as Frankie made me feel, Toby made me feel alive, electrified…excited. Heat swam through my veins as I wrapped my arms around Toby’s shoulders, holding him to me.
If Frankie was security and love, Toby was rawness and vitality. No wonder I’d loved them both for so long…in such completely different ways.
I ran my hands down his back, then slid them up underneath his faded black t-shirt. I remembered with perfect clarity how solid his body was, how each muscle was defined, and the ridges that lined his chest called to me now. I pulled his shirt up over his back, sliding my fingertips along his skin as I did so. He sat up on his knees to help me pull the shirt over his head, and my breath caught in my throat when my gaze landed on the dark-lined angel wing tattoo spawning his entire left side. I knew what it was now, how he’d received it, what he lost because of it. I traced the tip of the wing from the top of his shoulder, down his chest, then stopped where the wing ended beneath his rib cage. He didn’t breathe as I pushed up on one elbow to kiss the bottommost tip of the longest feather.
“I’m sorry this happened to you,” I whispered.
Toby let his breath out in a sigh, then grabbed my face and pulled me up to him, both of us now kneeling. He covered my mouth with his, then drew me close to him with one arm around my waist, the other hand cupping the base of my head. He pulled back briefly, breaking the kiss, his dark blue eyes searching mine.
“Do you know how incredible you are? I’m not sorry about what happened to me. It brought me to you.”
Wetness pooled in my eyes, but before I could think of a response, his mouth was on mine once more. I relaxed into his arms, pressed against his hard body, and let all worries of the future and mistakes of the past fade away.
Sunshine poured in through the sheer curtains, flooding the room with morning light. Waking up on my back, I stretched—my legs tangling with Toby’s as I did so. My eyes flew open, and I grinned as heat rushed to my cheeks. I froze, waiting to see if he stirred, if he was awake. When he didn’t move, I slowly turned toward him. He slept flat on his stomach, his right arm and leg draped over me, and his face half hidden beneath a pillow. I studied his face, so soft and innocent while he slept, the usual hard, worried expression gone for the time being. He was so peaceful.