The Knight's Broken Promise

by Nicole Locke

  She stood on tiptoe and placed her lips against his. She felt his body lean into her and her heart soared. She was right. He did feel something for her. But his arms did not go around her and she fell back to her feet.

  ‘You coward!’ She didn’t think. With a pull of her arm, she slapped him.

  The sound reverberated, but he stood there, waiting.

  Anger, desperation, frustration and love boiled within her. She pulled back her hand again.

  ‘Cease!’ He grabbed her hand. ‘Why do you do this? What do you want of me?’

  ‘’Tis not reason or my brothers’ skills keeping you here.’ She wrenched her hand free. ‘I want you to admit you feel something for me. I want your heart, Robert of Dent!’

  Suddenly pale, he looked as if she had just given him poison. Ice needles flowed into her heart.

  He moved roughly away from her. ‘I’ll admit to nothing. I am English; you are Scots.’

  ‘So your friend arrives and you suddenly remember your country? You made nae such distinction before.’

  ‘Even if I do not make the distinction, our countries do and they’ll remind us. Much was happening before I left for Doonhill and I fear much more since we travelled here.’

  ‘Scotland has a king now. The English have nae say here.’

  ‘He is king, but even some Scotsmen doubt his rule.’ He shook his head. ‘It makes no difference. Your brother knew his responsibilities to Scotland when he made me a prisoner here.’

  ‘You’re only a prisoner because you want to be. I can set you free, right now. We can run together and—’

  ‘Why won’t you leave me alone!’ His eyes flared. ‘I’m broken, Gaira. Broken.’ He slammed his fist across his chest. ‘There’s nothing here! Why do you keep asking questions—why do you prod me as if I can give you any kindness? I can’t. ’Tis not in me any more.’

  Robert turned and rubbed the back of his neck.

  He hurt her, but it was the risk she took in coming here. The risk she took because before she left her home and her children she had to know how he felt. And now she did.

  It wasn’t easy loving this man. He wasn’t making it easy. But he did love her, even if he couldn’t admit it yet.

  Walking to him again, she placed her hand on his chest. Relief flooded her as the tempo of his heart increased. He did feel for her. She wasn’t apologising for her prodding. There was too much at stake.

  ‘I think there is something here,’ she whispered.

  Robert froze and became as remote as Ben Lomond in winter. And just as unpassable.

  He pushed her hand away. ‘Ah, there you are wrong,’ he said. ‘There is nothing where my heart used to be.’

  She did not understand. But it was the ghost of loneliness in his eyes and the rigidity of his shoulders telling her what she didn’t want to know.

  She clasped her hands fearing what she’d do with them. ‘Have you loved before?’

  ‘Aye. I’ll not do it again.’

  She realised in all her past emotional and physical hurts she had never felt what she felt right now. There was a word, pain, but it did not encompass the cavern of ache in her chest, the lack of strength in her legs, nor the sting behind her eyes.

  In the weeks since he had arrived, she had faced almost insurmountable physical and emotional obstacles. She knew she had survived the journey because he had been by her side. Reluctantly, contrary, stubborn, aye, but there none the less. Now, she knew he hadn’t been there at all. He couldn’t have been. Someone else had his heart.

  Her humiliation was complete. She was rejected by her family and also by the man she’d given her heart to. There was nothing more to be said. She turned to leave.

  ‘She’s dead,’ he said. ‘Several years now.’

  She lowered her foot from the first step.

  ‘An eternity ago,’ he whispered. ‘She was Welsh and the daughter of a minor prince in north Wales. I saw her first as a child when I fought for Edward during the Welsh Wars.’

  She didn’t want to hear any more, but she couldn’t unlock her knees.

  ‘We had just conquered Brynmor’s gates. I and others rushed the keep to make sure there was no one hiding. When I looked up the stairs, there were these two little girls at the top. They were both blonde with blue eyes and so alike I knew they were sisters. The older girl was clasping the hand of the younger sister, whose face was swollen red and black, but her blue eyes were gentle. That was Alinore.’

  Robert’s voice became muffled. She glanced behind her. He was no longer facing her. His spine was rigid as though a great yoke had been placed on his shoulders.

  ‘It may seem as though fighting is all I’ve done, but when the wars against Wales were done I settled at Brynmor.’

  ‘Brynmor by that time was under English rule. King Edward would have given it to me. When I arrived that was exactly what I intended. However, less than a sennight later, I knew I could never do it.’

  Gaira turned around and tried to loosen her fingers that she clenched painfully in front of her. But they, like her knees, wouldn’t unlock.

  ‘The older sister didn’t want anything to do with me and I depended on Alinore to show me around.’ Robert hadn’t turned around, hadn’t moved. ‘She was older by that point, but still a child. Her father, Urien, beat her. I tried to stop it, but he would find her when I wasn’t around...’ Anger laced his voice. ‘The man was more drunk than sober, I couldn’t even fight him fairly. But Alinore still loved him. I didn’t understand it...that kind of capacity for forgiveness and kindness...for everyone. She, unlike me, had the capacity to love and forgive.’

  Gaira didn’t want him to say any more. Each revelation he made struck deep until she was nothing but skin, bone and ache.

  ‘So instead of taking the manor as lord and having her father killed for treason, I took the position of an English governor,’ he said. ‘Alinore, because I had saved her father’s life and allowed him some pride, was free to care for me.’

  He sighed. ‘I was there for many years. When Alinore was grown, it was inevitable I fell in love with her. Gently, easily, like swimming in a warm spring brook.’ He suddenly stopped.

  ‘What happened?’ she said. The words were strangled out of her by a need she didn’t know she possessed.

  His breathed in raggedly. ‘Brynmor burned to the ground.’ He stopped talking, but he was not silent. She could feel his unrest. ‘She died.’

  When he turned to her, his eyes were seething black. The dark bottom of the river that was Robert’s soul surged angrily to the surface.

  ‘You were right that day, Gaira. You didn’t know why, but you were right. It is grief that motivates me. I am grief.’

  It was too dark for her to see him. But she didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want any more secrets revealed, any more feelings displayed. His voice, the story he told were enough for her to know. He still loved Alinore. Not her.

  It was late. Already the bailey’s torches must be lit. Their time for escape was gone.

  It didn’t matter. All her hope was gone as well.

  ‘You coward! Some warrior you are. You doona even have the bravery to break my heart properly!’ The door crashed behind her as she ran across the courtyard.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Hugh sprang off the bed as two children entered his room. He recognised them as the ones Robert had travelled with.

  ‘I don’t need anything,’ he told them. They were treating him far too well as a prisoner.

  ‘We’re not here to get you anything,’ Creighton answered. ‘We’re here to free you.’

  ‘What happened to your face?’ Flora asked.

  Hugh stared at the door. ‘How did you get in here?’

  ‘There’s only one guard outside. We distracted him,
but—’

  ‘Only one?’ Hugh interrupted. ‘How insulting.’

  ‘Aye, sir, but we doona think he’ll be gone for very long so we should leave as soon as possible,’ Flora said. ‘Your arm is bandaged, is it broken?’ She turned to Creighton. ‘This won’t work if he’s injured.’

  ‘There’s pain is all.’ Hugh gestured with his arm. ‘How’d you distract him?’

  ‘I dinna think it would work,’ Flora whispered.

  ‘And it wouldn’t have worked if the guard had seen us hiding beneath the stairs. But it’s Alec, you see,’ Creighton said. ‘He’s done it hundreds of times before.’

  ‘Done what?’ Hugh asked.

  ‘Yes, but never purposefully,’ Flora said. ‘It was always in fun before.’

  ‘But I knew morning was best,’ Creighton said. ‘Everyone is fed, they are starting their chores. Any later in the day and people’s eyes will start wandering.’

  ‘Wait!’ Hugh raised his hands. ‘Do you always finish each other’s sentences?’

  ‘We’re twins,’ they said in union.

  Hugh shook his head. ‘Who is Alec?’

  ‘He’s our cousin,’ Creighton said. ‘He steals things. He stole the guard’s dagger and the guard chased after him.’

  ‘So we could ask you to help Sir Robert,’ Flora said.

  ‘Aye, we can’t do it alone and we thought since you were his friend, you’d help,’ Creighton said.

  ‘You want to help free Robert of Dent? But you’re Scottish!’ Hugh said.

  The children looked at each other.

  ‘Do you know who Sir Robert is?’ he asked.

  ‘Aye, sir,’ Flora answered. ‘He’s supposed to be a very bad English man. But he isn’t. At least not all bad. My brother and I know what bad men do and Sir Robert would never do those things.’

  Hugh sat on the bed. He felt as if his world was about to be turned around again. First by Robert, now by these children.

  ‘Why don’t you explain exactly why you are here?’ Hugh asked.

  * * *

  Hugh heard the rushed footsteps up the stairs and wasn’t surprised when Caird slammed the door against the wall.

  Hugh, sitting on the bed, waited for him. He almost laughed as Caird’s anger slammed into his disbelief.

  Hugh thought he had better help him out. ‘I’m still here.’

  For support, Caird reach back to the wall. In his other hand, he held his sword. ‘Why?’

  ‘It appears, when it comes to the inhabitants and visitors to Clan Colquhoun, countries just don’t matter.’

  Caird straightened. ‘I doona understand.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have either until two children intended for me to escape with Robert. But I’ve decided words might be just as effective.’ He waved to the other end of the bed. ‘Why don’t you sit down so we can talk about your sister and an English soldier? When I’m done, I think you may want to speak to your brother.’

  * * *

  Gaira woke early. She needed the children. And if she was honest with herself, she needed Oona’s counsel as well. It was fine to be the authority of your own life, but did that count when your heart was broken?

  The wind was chilly as she walked to Oona’s cottage. She wrapped her shawl tighter around her, but it did little good since she wore a dress. She missed the leggings and tunic.

  ‘Oona, it’s me!’

  The door opened. In one hand Oona held a spoon, in the other, Maisie. Maisie’s legs dangled almost to the ground. Gaira peered closer at the spoon. There didn’t appear to be any green flecks on it.

  ‘She’s fine, lass,’ Oona said. ‘Is there trouble brewing?’

  ‘How’d you know?’

  ‘You’re visiting Oona. That’s how I know.’ She set Maisie on the ground. The girl toddled over and Gaira picked her up.

  ‘I might have been just looking for the children. Doesn’t mean that there is trouble.’ She looked around again. ‘Where are the children?’

  ‘Off running about as children are wont to do.’

  Not these children. They stuck close. ‘Nobody came by and got them?’

  She waved the spoon. ‘Did you want someone to come collect them? Your Englishman, perhaps?’

  Gaira tried to bury her face in Maisie’s neck to hide her reaction.

  ‘Ah, there be the trouble. Oona knows there’s trouble.’

  Gaira set Maisie down and the girl flopped on the ground.

  ‘Trouble. More than trouble. He’s a sneaky, snivelling coward is what he is. Do you know that he’s loved someone before?’

  Oona nodded, smiled, but didn’t say anything.

  Gaira paced. ‘And he loves her still!’

  ‘Aye,’ Oona said. ‘What be the trouble, then?’

  ‘That be the trouble,’ Gaira said in exasperation.

  ‘The man’s lived before he met you, he’s honourable, steadfast and handsome and you think some lass wouldn’t notice?’

  ‘It dinna sound as if it was the lass doing the noticing!’

  Oona pealed into laughter. ‘Ah, you’ve lost your heart well and good, Gaira my child. Let’s see if what I’ve got brewing will heal you.’

  Gaira grabbed Maisie’s hand and followed Oona into the cottage. ‘Not more of that green brew?’

  ‘Ah, nae. I’ve got something different...’

  The smells coming from Oona’s cauldron smelled delicious. ‘Isn’t that just porridge?’

  ‘Aye.’ Oona spooned some into a bowl, releasing great wafts of steam. ‘Even Oona has to eat sometimes.’

  ‘How’s that supposed to fix anything?’

  ‘Aren’t you hungry?’

  ‘Aye, but—’

  ‘It fixes your empty stomach is what it fixes.’ Oona gave her the wooden bowl. ‘As to the other, nothing there needs fixing.’

  Gaira spooned up the porridge and let the hot grains drip back into the bowl. ‘Aye, it’s broken beyond repair.’

  ‘Not seeing straight, Gaira. You’ve not said that he dinna love you.’

  ‘But I heard in his voice that he loved her.’

  Oona took her own bowl and spoon. ‘A man’s heart is good if he can love. And he has. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.’ She blew on her porridge. ‘You love him and you love the children, aye?’

  Gaira took a heated bite and nodded.

  ‘Then you love two different people at the same time. The heart has nae limitations if it’s good. This Robert of Dent is good.’

  Gaira scooped another bite and blew on the spoon.

  ‘Did you ask him if he loved you?’ Oona took a bite of her own.

  Gaira set the spoon back in the bowl.

  Because they’d talked of Alinore, she hadn’t truly asked Robert if he loved her, too. Because he had loved before, he denied his feelings for her. Contrary man. Nothing about Robert was straight and simple.

  But the river did not always run straight. It ebbed and flowed with the seasons. He was stubborn, contrary and hid every damn thing about him. But every once in a while she glimpsed the bottom of the river that was his soul.

  He had buried the villagers and helped Creighton talk. He had comforted Flora and played with Alec. He had even asked Bram for her safety. These were not the acts of a man without a heart. He loved her. It didn’t matter if he had loved before. No. It did matter.

  It mattered to him very much. He was still hurting.

  Every contrary, stubborn, reluctance Robert had displayed on this journey made sense now. He had fought her every step of the way, not because of his reputation as Black Robert, but because of Alinore.

  Good God. She had made him bury her kin and accused him of having no feelings. She had been angry at him for not caring, when in fa
ct he cared too much.

  He had turned himself into Black Robert after Alinore’s death. He did that to protect his heart. She knew about being alone and she knew about grief. But she hadn’t hidden behind either because she knew there was a more powerful emotion than anguish. Robert didn’t know; his childhood hadn’t taught him anything else.

  She set the bowl in her lap and whipped her multiple plaits behind her shoulder. It wouldn’t be easy, but she would show Robert of Dent what it meant to love.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  ‘I am glad you are co-operating,’ Bram said.

  Robert followed Bram into the empty hall. The lack of guards was not an error of judgement on Bram’s part. As laird, he was purposely showing his strength to an enemy.

  ‘As long as Gaira and the children are safe, there will be no cause to be unco-operative,’ Robert replied.

  ‘And nae cause for your friend?’ Bram asked.

  He did not rise to the bait. ‘Hugh can take care of himself,’ he said. If they sent Hugh to Balliol, there’d be a chance for him to escape. For now, Robert had to remain calm. Too many people depended on him.

  Bram took the steps to the right of the hall. ‘Many of my kin doona understand why I am giving you shelter and food. They believe your reputation speaks only of the warrior and not the man. My counsel has suggested I chain you like the animal they think you are and let nature take its course.’

  At the top was a long narrow hall with no windows. ‘Why didn’t you?’

  ‘Because I know your reputation.’ Bram pushed open a door at the end of the hall and entered a room. ‘My belief is a man as well trained as you is a rational man.’

  Robert slowed his pace and assessed the private solar. The door slammed at his back. Caird and Malcolm were standing by the door.

  ‘A man who maybe doesn’t realise the seriousness of his situation?’ Bram said.

  Robert did not acknowledge Caird or Malcolm. ‘Maybe I realise it all too well.’

  ‘Ah, then it is knowledge of your danger making you meek and co-operative.’