Bring It On (The Exes #5)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Don’t get mad at her. I asked for her opinion.”

  “Why are you sticking your nose in my business? Twenty-four hours ago, you weren’t even in my life! Now all of a sudden you think you have the right to start telling me what to do?”

  I’d had a shitty day. It had started with the Alex argument, then an issue with a supplier who’d failed to deliver, our website being down for over an hour, and one of our new customer service reps being a no-show. I really did not need to deal with Carter’s BS right now.

  “I care about you,” he said, his tone dangerously low. “Maybe more than I should since, as you pointed out, I’m so insignificant in your life—”

  “I didn’t say that!”

  His opinion mattered too much. That was the problem. I was used to calling my own shots, with Alex bending to my will when I dug my heels in because I was the majority owner and had the final say, but it wasn’t like that with Carter. Our relationship felt unbalanced at times, with the power shifting from one of us to the other, and I hated the way that made me feel.

  “You didn’t have to.” He reached for the door handle, and I panicked.

  “Damn it, don’t go.” I hated feeling so weak, so needy, but I couldn’t let him leave like this. I was afraid if he did, he might not come back this time. “I want to work this out. I just don’t know how.”

  “I think you know how,” he said, curling his hand around the doorknob. “You’re just not ready to do it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I want a relationship that I can feel secure in, Jas. We didn’t have that last time and look where we ended up.”

  “There’s no reason you shouldn’t feel secure.”

  “Really?” He looked at me so long, I felt the tears sting my eyes. It was as though he was trying to memorize my face… in case he never saw it again. “Let’s say my ex-fiancé worked as a physical therapist for our team and I had to see her every day. You knew she wanted me back, yet I claimed I was done with her. I had the power to get rid of her, but I chose not to, even though she’d treated me like shit, because I claimed she was too important to my life to lose her. How would that make you feel?”

  I opened my mouth and snapped it shut. Damn… when he put it like that, I felt like a real bitch for not seeing his side.

  “Just think about it, okay?” He brushed his lips across my cheeks. “I really want this to work, Jazzy. But I need to know you’re all in this time. Or I can’t be.”

  ***

  My girls had decided they needed to take me out for a drink and a gab-fest to sort out my dilemma. Ironically, we ended up in the same sports bar as last night, though I knew we had no chance of seeing Carter tonight since he was traveling with the team in the morning.

  “I don’t get it,” Becca said, shaking her head. “You have an amazing man who’s crazy about you, who’s giving you a way to get rid of Alex, the pain in the ass. So why are you not taking it?”

  I knew it seemed cut-and-dried to them, but taking a loan from Carter to buy out Alex was a huge decision. Especially since the man had only been back in my life for, like, a minute. I wanted our relationship to have the best possible chance of going the distance and I wasn’t sure it could if he acted as my banker. I loved that he wanted to help me, but could I let him?

  “This isn’t just my business we’re taking about.” I sipped my citrus tequila cocktail. “It’s my life. I mixed business and pleasure with Alex and look how that turned out. I’m not sure I want to take that kind of risk with Carter.”

  “You could go the bank,” Vi said before sipping her drink. “But that’s a huge loan and hell of a risk. A downturn in the economy, one bad year, and you could be out of business.”

  That was what had appealed to me about having a minority partner, someone to share the risk with. Plus, I wouldn’t have huge loan repayments to worry about. Our margins were healthy, and if our projections for the fiscal year were accurate, we’d have no problem, but there were so many unknown variables to consider.

  “I called my lawyer after my talk with Carter. Just to review my contract with Alex. I do have an out. If I can cite a legitimate reason for wanting to withdraw from the partnership, I have the right to buy him out.”

  “I’d say doing the dirty with some stripper a couple of weeks before your wedding is all the reason you’d need.”

  “Yeah, my lawyer agreed.”

  The girls stared at me, slack-jawed.

  “You told your lawyer what he did?” Vi said.

  I shrugged. “In confidence. It’s not like he’ll ever have to use that information, unless Alex tries to resist the buyout.”

  “Then you are going to buy him out?” Becca asked, grinning.

  The more I thought about it and weighed my options aloud, the more the idea appealed to me. “I’m seriously thinking about it, as long as I can talk Carter into setting it up like a legitimate loan.”

  “With favorable terms, obviously,” Vi said, wiggling her eyebrows.

  “Shut up.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “I’m serious. I want to keep my personal and business life as separate as possible this time. Obviously I wouldn’t be able to repay the loan right away, but if Carter agrees to, say, a five- or seven-year term with reasonable interest rates, I think we could make it work.”

  “You know he just wants that guy out of your life, right?” Becca asked. “He’d hand that money over tomorrow without even thinking twice.”

  And I loved that I had someone in my life who cared enough about me to do that, but I was proud of what I’d accomplished on my own. I didn’t want to start feeling indebted to people. Sure, Alex had helped me in the early stages, but he’d been paid handsomely for his time. And my girls had always been there to support me, but I made sure they earned more working for me than they would working for anyone else. At the end of the day, the company was my baby, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  “Believe me, I know how he feels about Alex, but—”

  Becca touched my arm, looking earnest. “He hates him. Just like we hate him for what he did to you. He doesn’t deserve to be a part of your dream. Sure, maybe Carter is a little jealous—”

  “A little jealous? That’s like saying he’s a little hot.” I sipped my drink.

  “True,” Becca conceded. “But you’d feel the same way in his position.”

  “Maybe.”

  Becca and Vi shared a look before Becca said, “And if we believed that was his only reason for wanting to do this, because he was jealous, we wouldn’t encourage you to take him up on his offer. But after my talk with him today, I really believe he cares about you, Jas. Hell, I think it’s a safe bet to say he’s in love with you.”

  Love. That word was scary as hell. It rang with a finality—maybe because the only man I’d ever said it to was Alex. In hindsight, I didn’t think I had been in love with him. The way I’d felt for him didn’t compare to the way I’d felt about Carter, but I’d only been reminded of that when Carter walked back into my life.

  “So you think I should tell Carter that I’ve decided to take him up on his offer?” I asked, pulling my phone out of my purse.

  “Oh my God,” Vi said, snatching the phone out of my hand. “You are not going to tell him something like that over the phone. You are going over to his place to tell him, and thank him, in person.”

  “But he has an early flight in the morning.” And I’d never been good at putting myself out there where Carter was concerned. What if he’d changed his mind and decided he didn’t want to loan me the money after all? I’d end up looking like a desperate fool.

  “So what?” Becca shrugged. “You do realize some of his teammates are married, right?”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “I’m sure they’re at home getting busy with their wives right now. What’s to stop you and Carter from doing the same?”

  “Good point,” I said, jumping up. After the way we’d left things today, I needed to see him and wrap my
arms around him before he got on that plane tomorrow.

  I reached into my purse to pay for the drinks, since they’d treated last night, but they waved me off, demanding in unison that I just “Go already!”

  Becca held up her phone. “Your ride should be here any minute.”

  “I love you guys.” I bent to kiss each of them on the cheek. “Thank you for helping me figure this out.”

  “I’m just glad you’re finally making the right decision,” Becca said, grabbing my hand before I could get away. “Because Carter is the right guy for you, girl. There’s no doubt about that.”

  I smiled, squeezing her hand. “I think so too.”

  Chapter Eight

  Carter

  I knew I should be in bed by now. Instead I was watching the evening news, trying to make myself feel better by reminding myself there were people worse off than I was. A lot worse off. But it didn’t help when I thought about going to sleep alone. I wanted Jas with me. I wanted her with me every damn night.

  What the hell had I been thinking, giving a strong and independent woman like her an ultimatum when I’d only been back in her life for a freakin’ day? I was such an idiot. I’d had everything I wanted within my grasp and I’d found another way to blow it.

  I turned my phone over in my hand, willing it to buzz. A call. A text. Something. Anything to give me a sign that she wasn’t completely done with me. I’d thought of texting her a hundred times, but my pride always won out.

  “Pride is what got you into this, asshole,” I muttered.

  If I’d been smart, I wouldn’t have let her bail on me three years ago. I would have camped out on her doorstep and demanded answers instead of giving up when she refused to respond to my calls and texts. If I’d done that, she never would have been engaged to that asshole and there would have been no ultimatum.

  Ugh. Ultimatum. God, I hated that word. It sounded so final. Probably because it was. I was making her choose between being business partners with Alex and being in a relationship with me.

  “What if she chooses him?” I whispered, staring at my phone.

  A knock at my door made me look up. It was soft and I almost convinced myself I was hearing things, but it was followed by a few more taps, louder and more insistent this time.

  Odd. I lived in a secure building where people had to ring up if they wanted to get in.

  I had a few single buddies in the building, and there were one or two puck bunnies. Must be one of them. Dealing with a puck bunny was the last thing I needed tonight, but I got my ass up and looked through the peephole. My heart hammered when I saw who was standing on the other side. I opened the door and hauled her inside, burying my face in her hair as I scooped her off the ground.

  “Hey, you,” she said, laughing at my reaction. “Happy to see me?”

  “You have no idea.” I kissed her neck. “But how’d you get in?”

  “I met your friend Chaz in the parking lot. He started flirting with me. Didn’t even ask who I was here to see, just let me in.”

  “Remind me to kill him later.” I wasn’t surprised Chaz had hit on my girl. He was a successful lawyer with a hot car and he always looked as if he’d just stepped off the cover of GQ. He thought he could get any woman he wanted, and for the most part, he could. Just not mine.

  “It’s okay.” She kissed me as her hands framed my face. “I told him thanks, but no thanks when he asked me out for dinner.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, I told him I had this really hot, really jealous boyfriend.” She grinned. “When I told him it was you, he asked me not to tell you he’d hit on me. He said he didn’t want you to kick the shit out him.”

  “I would,” he muttered. “But he’s a lawyer, so he’d probably sue my ass.”

  “You can’t beat up every guy who hits on me, you know,” she said, looking amused.

  “Why not?” I’d grown up fighting and playing hockey. I felt pretty good about my odds in a street fight.

  “You’re crazy,” she said, rolling her eyes as she glanced at the TV. “I’m glad I didn’t wake you. I know you have an early morning.”

  “Couldn’t sleep,” I admitted before taking a deep breath. “I was thinking about you.”

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” she said, stroking the stubble on my jaw. “I should have been more understanding. You were right. If our situations were reversed, I wouldn’t be crazy about the idea of you working with your ex either.”

  At least it sounded like she was willing to meet me halfway. That’s all I wanted. I didn’t need her to make all the concessions or compromises in our new relationship. Just some. While we figured out how to make it last this time.

  “Come in, sit down.” I hoped she’d want to spend the night with me, but we needed to talk first, to figure out where we stood. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “No thanks, I just came from the bar.”

  I bit my lip before I could ask who she was with.

  “Becca and Vi wanted to sit me down and help me see reason.”

  “Yeah? About what?”

  She sat on the sectional, tugging on my hand to coax me down with her. “About your offer. They thought I was crazy for not jumping on board.”

  I sat and held her hands, looking at the pretty topaz ring on her right hand. There was a tan line on her left hand, reminding me it hadn’t been that long since she’d been wearing another man’s ring. No wonder she was gun-shy. I’d been alone for three years, but up until a couple of weeks ago, she’d had her whole future mapped out and it just blew up in her face.

  “I may have pushed too hard,” I said, knowing I’d need to give her more time to think about my offer. I couldn’t treat it like a take-it-or-leave-it proposition, not when there was so much at stake for her. “If you need more time to think about, take it. It’s not like I’m taking the offer off the table. Whenever you need the money, just say the word and it’s yours.”

  Her face softened when she tipped my chin, forcing me to look her directly in the eye. “This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.”

  Her ex had invested in her business too, but that had probably been a small investment by comparison, since they’d been a start-up then.

  “It’s only money,” I said. “If I’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that there are things in this life that are a hell of a lot more important than money.”

  “You’re right about that,” she said, nodding.

  “Losing you taught me that.” I never would have had the courage to say shit like that to her years ago, but I’d like to think I was a different man now.

  “It did?” she asked, wide-eyed.

  “Yeah.” I hated thinking about those first few weeks, when the realization hit me that I wouldn’t see her again. Wouldn’t be able to hold her or kiss her or make love to her. I hauled her into my arms, kissing the top of her head just ‘cause I was so damn grateful I could. “I signed the biggest contract of my life a few weeks after you stopped returning my calls. Everyone was making such a big deal of it, and I didn’t give a shit about the money. I just wanted you back.”

  I would have traded all those millions for another shot with her. That was when I’d decided to get my priorities straight. I promised myself if I ever met someone who made me feel the way Jazzy did, I wouldn’t screw around. I’d put a ring on that girl’s finger.

  Her eyes filled with tears. “You know how amazing I think you are? How many regrets I have about the way things went down between us? If I’d known how you felt about me… if I’d known there was no one else in your life—”

  “Sssh.” I kissed her. “None of that matters now. What matters is right now, today. And where we go from here.”

  “I know where I’d like to go.” She sat up straighter, stretching her arm along the back of the sofa and playing with my hair. “But we have to have some ground rules first.”

  I smiled. “We’re big on ground rules, aren’t we?”
>
  She laughed. “Given how stupid we were the last time, I’d say it’s best we spell it all out this time, don’t you think?”

  “Definitely.” I curled my hand around hers, bringing it to my lips. “So let’s hear these rules.” Though I was pretty sure I’d agree to just about anything she asked. A few hours of thinking I may have shot myself in the foot again was all the incentive I needed to shut up and listen instead of making demands.

  “If you’re sure about this loan…”

  “Done deal,” I said before she could even state her terms.

  She laughed, leaning her head on my shoulder. “You didn’t let me finish.”

  “Don’t need to. You want it, you got it.” I’d call my banker first thing in the morning and have him make the transfer.

  She wrapped her hands around mine, leaning back against the cushions. “You don’t know how grateful I am that you’re willing to do this for me, babe. Seriously. It’s a hell of a lot of money and we, like, just got back together.”

  If she knew how many times I’d thought of her over the past few years, how many times I’d wished for a chance to do something amazing for her, she’d realize I was doing this as much for myself as I was for her.

  “Here’s the thing,” I said, knowing it was time to man up. “Hockey has allowed me to do a lot of things for the people I love. I got to pay off my parents’ house and cottage, insist my dad retire from the force after he got shot, pay off my brothers’ houses, set up trust funds for my nephews—”

  “You seriously did all that?” she asked, wide-eyed.

  And it didn’t even equal the amount I’d had to pay in taxes last year. “It was nothing to me, but it was a really big deal to them. It gave them peace of mind and freedom. It gives my brothers more time with their kids and wives. It means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the old man every time he walks out the door anymore.”

  “You are so amazing,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I wish I’d seen this side of you before.”

  I hadn’t let her. I was scared if she got too close, I’d never be able to let her go. “I wish I’d let you. But the reason I’m telling you all this is because I want you to know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for the people I love, Jazzy.”