by J. C. Hulsey
“Let me down. You’re gonna make me dizzy. Step back so I can look at you? You’ve lost weight. I’ll fatten you up in no time. Did you meet Rose?”
“Yes. I met her when I arrived. What did I do to have two such beautiful women to look at?”
“Rose just lost her husband and needed a place to relax and contemplate what she’s going to do.”
“I am so sorry Mrs. Brown. Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” He reached and took my hand. There was a tingle as his hand grasped mine.
“NO! It’s too soon. I don’t want these kind of feelings. Not yet.”
He let go of my hand and I felt an empty feeling.
“I hope you have something left over from supper? I haven’t eaten all day.”
“Wash up and sit down. I’ll get you a plate. Rose can keep you company while I do that.”
“Is that an eastern accent I detect in your voice, Mrs. Brown?”
“Please call me Rose. Yes, I’m from Pennsylvania. A small borough called Lewiston. I came to Texas as a mail order bride. Oh my! Why am I telling you all this?”
“My friends call me Nate. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything, Rose.” He looked at me with those intense blue eyes.
I felt as though I wanted to tell him everything. Mildred said the heart would know what to do when the time came. I still loved Roscoe with all my heart, yet there is a stirring inside that tells me this is a good man.
“Here’s your supper. I see you and Rose are getting to know one another. That’s good. She’s needs kindness from a man right now.”
“Thank you for the supper, Mother. Now I think you should mind your own business. Rose is doing just fine without any help from either of us.”
Nate told us as much as he could about the war. There were too many bad memories to tell it all. His blue eyes sparkled as he described the land that he had found on his way here.
“I hope it’s for sale, because that’s where I want to settle down and raise a family.”
I kept stealing glances at his face, wondering who he was planning on sharing that future with. He was also steeling glancing in my direction. How I wished at that moment that I had hair that wasn’t so unruly. I kept trying to push the strands back into the top-knot, but they refused to stay.
“You have beautiful hair, Rose. Did you know that?”
I felt the heat rise in my face, causing it to be redder than normal. There was one good thing about blushing though. You couldn’t see as many freckles.
We talked and visited until almost midnight, long after Mildred said her goodnights and went to her room.
“Look at the time. I’ve enjoyed talking with you so much I forgot what time it is. It is way past bedtime. You must be exhausted. I’ve not been a good host.’
“I have also enjoyed talking with you. I’ll pray that you get the land and everything that you desire. I’ll say Goodnight now and see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight Red Rose.” I stopped in my tracks. That’s what Roscoe used to call me. Could it be that Roscoe is guiding Nate what to say? How foolish I’m being. Roscoe is in Heaven and Nate is right here.
I hurried to my room and went straight to bed, only to have another sleepless night. Why is life so complicated?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I awoke again with the sunlight blinding my eyes through the window. I walked into the kitchen.
Mildred was busy at the stove and Nate was sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Well, good morning to you. I hope you slept well. I haven’t slept like that since I left here almost two years ago.”
“Sit down, dear, it’s almost ready. Do you want coffee now?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
There was a knock on the front door.
“I wonder who that could be this early in the morning? Would you see who it is, Nathan?”
“Of course, Mother.” He got up and went to the door.
When he opened it, Doctor Chester Wainsworth was standing on the porch.
“There you are.” He rushed past Nate and over to where I was sitting. “I’ve been worried sick looking for you everyplace. Why didn’t you let someone know where you were?”
“I didn’t realize I had to check in with anyone when I decided to go somewhere.”
“I was very worried, Rose, can’t you understand that? I know I’s been a trying time for you, but there are people who care for you and want to help you heal.”
“And you would know about healing, wouldn’t you Doctor? A doctor that couldn’t heal my dying husband.”
“Rose, I told you, Roscoe was beyond any help that anyone could give him. His chest was crushed and he only lived as long as he did because of his huge body. A normal man would have died instantly. No one could have saved him. I did what I could to make him comfortable. Please believe that?”
“I’m sorry, Doctor, but I don’t feel like talking to you right now. If you’ll excuse me?” I got up and went into my room.
I heard them talking in the kitchen. Why was I being so hard on Chet? I knew in my heart of hearts that he couldn’t have done anything to save Roscoe. So why was I so angry at him? Was it because I felt as if he was trying to control my life? He took it upon himself to have a coffin built. He paid for my hotel room. He kept me from collapsing at the cemetery. Was I afraid of him?
There was a knock at the door. “Yes, come in.”
Mildred came into the room. “Dr. Wainsworth wants you to go back to town with him. He seems to think you would be better off there where he can watch over you. What do you want me to tell him?”
“I’ll tell him.” I went back into the kitchen. “I believe I’ll stay here with Mildred for a time yet. When I feel I’m up to it, I’ll come to town. I need to have an examination anyway.”
“Are you feeling ill? Do you want me to examine you now?’
“That might be best. Then I won’t have to come to town until I’m good and ready. Please come into my room.”
As soon as the door was closed I said, “I think I’m going to have a baby. I need you to tell me if I’m right.”
After the examination, he said, “You’re probably about three months along. Have you been experiencing any morning sickness?”
“No, I have been kind of tired, but I just thought it was because of everything that’s happened.”
“That surely hasn’t helped. I have some pills in my bag. It’s out in the buggy. I’ll give them to you when I leave. I do wish you’d reconsider and come back with me. You know I still love you and wish to marry you after a satisfactory mourning time.”
“I’m sorry, Chet, but I don’t love you. I do have feelings for you, but it’s not love. Roscoe taught me what true love feels like and I don’t feel that for you. I am sorry.”
“I’ll always be there for you, Rose. You’re going to need someone to help raise your baby. Maybe you don’t love me now, but you could someday. I would be a good father for your baby. A lot of marriages have been started on much less than what we feel for one another. In fact, I believe your marriage to Roscoe began with even less feeling than what we have. Isn’t that right?”
“I think you should leave now, Doctor. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye Red Rose.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Are you alright, Rose?” asked Nate.
“She’ll be fine, just let her do whatever she wants to do right now.”
“There's a small stream about a hundred yards behind the house. How would you like to have a picnic there?”
“Yes, I know the stream. I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
“Sounds great. I’ll pack a basket for you. Nate, you grab a blanket from my bedroom.”
In no time at all, Nate and I were walking toward the stream. I reached and took his hand in mine. I began swinging it back and forth much like a child would. What was it about him that caused me to act so forward with him.
We reached the river and I ra
n forward, removed my shoes and stockings, then put my feet in the cool, refreshing water. The stream was only about two inches deep, but fast running.
“This may not be proper, but I just couldn’t resist.”
“I can't believe anything you do could be improper.
The water felt wonderful and reminded me of the little creek behind our house at home. Home. It doesn't sound odd as it first did when I arrived. It's so easy to call this place home now. Roscoe told me Texas would grow on me and I guess it has.
“I'll spread the blanket and take the food out of the basket, whenever you're ready? In fact, I think I’ll join you.” He removed his shoes and stockings and placed his feet right next to mine in the cool water.
I reached over and touched his feet with mine. He turned and looked at me with those cool blue eyes.
“Are you sure, Red Rose?”
“I’m sure.” I leaned over and kissed him.
We leaned back as one onto the grassy bank of the stream. His lips were soft and tasted of the molasses syrup we had on our flapjacks for breakfast. I lifted my feet out of the water and turned toward him onto my side. He turned toward me.
We lay there gazing into one another’s eyes. Content to just be together there on the bank of that little stream.
I definitely felt something special for Nate. It wasn’t the same feeling I had for Roscoe, but it was indeed something very exciting and satisfying. One day my life was shattered when I lost the one person I loved more than anything.
I guess it's like Mildred told me. You learn to move on even though you thought you'd never be able to care again?
Now, I've met Nate.
Is it worth the risk to let him in? Or is it better to be alone than to take the chance of more heartache?
This time will be different. Nate is different.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Nate and I spent every day together. I had no desire to go back home or to go to town. I just wanted to be with him. We talked for hours on end about everything. I told him everything about me except my being with child. I don’t know why I held that back, but I did.
“I want you to go with me to inquire about the property I told you about. I need to see if it’s for sale. I really need to think about settling down and get started building something that will last. Will you go with me?”
“Yes, of course I’ll go with you.”
“I borrowed Mother’s buggy, hoping you would accompany me. I want your opinion about this place.”
“Why on earth would you want my opinion? I know absolutely nothing about land or anything like that?”
“I think you know why, if you think on it. I feel very deeply for you, Red Rose. I’ll be asking you to marry me after your mourning time is over. I’m telling you now, so you have a little time to consider it.”
“I don’t need any time. I’ll marry you today if that’s what you want.”
“I think we should wait at least until the end of the month. Out of respect for Roscoe. We don’t want people to assume the wrong thing.”
“I really don’t care what people think or don’t think. Maybe I should, but I don’t. This is my life, it isn’t theirs. I should be able to make decisions about my own life without feeling I have to please anyone but the ones I choose.”
“My, but you are one feisty redhead, aren’t you?”
“I suppose I am at that. Do you mind?”
“I like everything about you, Red Rose, everything. Let’s go look at this property, so we’ll have a place to live.”
“We could live on my place. It’s a nice piece of property. It even has a little creek behind the house. I know you’d like that.”
“I tell you what. If this property we’re going to see isn’t for sale, then I’ll consider your place. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds like a plan. Let’s go.”
He helped me into the buggy, walked around and seated himself next to me. It felt so right to be sitting next to him in that buggy going down the road.
“Maybe we should go to town and check at the land office before we go to see the property. I wouldn’t want to get our hopes up and then it not be for sale.”
We drove into town, right down Main Street, and stopped in front of the land office. Nate jumped down, came around and helped me step out of the buggy. He took my hand and we stepped up at the same time onto the boardwalk. He opened the door and stepped aside for me to enter.
The man behind the counter was a large man, standing over six feet, with thick muscular arms and a broad chest.
“Jacob Swanson’s the name. What can I do for you folks?’
“We’re here to check on a piece of property located about fifteen miles east of here. I’ll show you on the map where it’s located.”
Mr. Swanson pulled a large map from under the counter and spread it out.
“Yes, here it is right here. This is the piece I’m wanting. What can you tell me about it?”
Mr. Swanson looked at the map, opened a ledger and perused a list of names.
“Looks like you’re about four days late. That parcel of land was bought and paid for last Monday. I’m sorry about that. However, I have other parcels if you’re interested?”
“No. I had my eye on that one. I guess it wasn’t supposed to happen. Thank you for your help.”
He turned, took my hand and we walked out the door.
“I’m so sorry, Nate. I know you had your heart set on that land. However, all is not lost. We can go now and I’ll show you my place. I believe we can be happy there, if you’ll give it a chance?”
“Of course, we can be happy anywhere as long as we’re together. Let’s go look at this cattle ranch of yours.”
“Perhaps we should do that tomorrow. It’s almost a four hour drive to get there.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The next morning, Nate was outside hooking up the buggy to make the trip to my place.
“Have you told Nathan about the baby, yet?”
”Who told you I was going to have a baby?”
“My dear, I’m an old woman who has children of my own. Even though you’re not showing yet, I think I know when someone is going to have a baby.”
“Well, I haven’t told him yet. I don’t know why I haven’t. I just haven’t.”
“I would suggest you do it as soon as possible.”
“Why should I be in a hurry to tell him?”
“Just tell him and find out. That’s all I can say.”
“Alright, I’ll tell him now.” I walked out to the buggy. He was just finishing up.
“I’m just about finished Rose. Are you ready to go?”
“Come sit on the porch with me. I have something to tell you.”
“You can tell me on the way. If it’s a four hour drive, we really need to be on our way.”
“Please, Nate, come sit with me.”
“Alright. You sound serious. Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes. I feel fine, but there’s something you need to know. About me.”
“I know everything I need to know about you. There can’t be anything that would change the way I feel about you. What is it?”
“Around the middle of March, I’m going to have a baby.”
He sat there with a stunned look on his face. He swallowed loudly, stood up quickly, turned in a circle as though he was dizzy or confused.
“Roscoe Brown’s baby?”
“Of course, it’s Roscoe’s baby. Why would you even ask that?”
“I’m not sure I want children and I sure as hell don’t want some other man’s kid. Especially that brute of a man. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? That’s what the doctor told you when he examined you the other day, isn’t it?”
My heart broke into a million pieces when he told me that. Here I was thanking my lucky stars that I had found love so quickly after losing my beloved. But, alas, it was not to be. How could my broken heart be so fickle?
I stood, excused myself and went back
into the house.
“I’m so sorry, Rose. I knew how Nathan felt about having children, but I thought it best for him to tell you. I am so, so, sorry.”
“Can you take me into town?”
“You don’t have to leave right at this minute. Give him time to think it over. Perhaps, you two can reach some kind of understanding.”
“Oh. I understand completely. How could I have been so blind?”
“Love is blind, my dear. However a broken heart will mend, given time. Let me get a wrap, the buggy is all hooked up and we can leave immediately.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
We arrived in town and I asked Mildred to take me directly to the livery stable. That’s where my rickety old wagon was supposed to be. I climbed down from the buggy, turned and looked Mildred in the eye.
“Thank you so much for your kindness. You’ll be in my prayers for a long time. If I can ever help you in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask. Thank you again. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye my dear. I’ll keep you in my prayers.”
I walked into the livery stable and was met by a small man.
I’m five feet five inches and he was several inches shorter than me. I had seen small men like him in Lewiston, but never close up.
He hopped down off a stool he was using to brush a horse.
“Good day to ye, ma’am, what kin I do for ye?”
“I understand you have my wagon here? My name is Brown. Mrs. Roscoe Brown.”
“I’m so sorry for yer loss, ma’am, Roscoe was a mighty fine man, yes indeed. Yes ma’am, I got yer wagon in the back. Will ye be needing it today, ma’am?”
“Yes please. It’s time I was heading home. I dawdled long enough. There’s plenty of work to be done.”
“Yes ma’am, ye just wait right here. I’ll be hitching up yer wagon.” He left and I heard him talking to the horse as he hitched it to the wagon. In a few minutes he came walking in the door.
“Yer wagon’s all hitched up and ready to go. Are ye gonna be able to drive a horse and wagon ma’am?”
“I watched my husband do it. I’m sure it can’t be all that hard to grasp.”