‘Like what?’ I don’t really agree with his reasoning, when we can’t be around each other for even five minutes without being at each other’s throats.
‘I dunno. At the moment there’s stuff going on, and I need to keep things as simple as possible.’ His face looks tormented, but fueled by alcohol and my own frustration, I snap back.
‘Always the man of mystery, never giving anything away,’ I roll my eyes and turn away from him to check on Sophie.
‘Hey,’ he grabs my arm gently and turns me back to face him.
I calm myself and look into his eyes for just a moment, but that’s all it takes for my heart to start racing and my skin to feel flushed. This needs to stop. ‘Jake, there’s nothing to say. Do us both a favor and rather than trying to please me, how about you focus on that girl back at the lodge. You know, your girlfriend.’
He doesn’t even attempt to hide the hurt on his face. ‘Right. Forget I bothered. Clearly me and you trying to be friends isn’t going to work. I’m done.’ I watch as he walks away to go back to Amanda, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt like hell.
***
‘So, you just left it at that?’ Sophie asks from the back of the car.
We’re on our way home from the lake, and the journey feels longer than ever without all the excitement and anticipation. The trip felt bittersweet. It was great being back with the group and feeling close to them again, but it was also painful being in such proximity to Jake for so long. At least after last night we’ve drawn a line under things and can get on with our summers.
‘Yeah. I guess it’s not going to work us being friends. It was a tall order to begin with.’
‘Maybe it’s for the best,’ Zoe nods reassuringly from beside me. ‘What good would come from you guys getting close anyway?’
‘There’s no need to worry now anyway.’ I want the conversation to end as I’m feeling flat as it is, and don’t want to keep rehashing what happened with Jake.
Most of the trip home is spent quietly staring out the window. The break was needed, but I’m craving being back in the full throes of work to take my mind off the Jake drama. The busier the better.
My cell bleeps a few times, alerting me to messages from Michael. Eventually I find the energy to open them, but when I read what they say, I begin banging my head against the dashboard.
‘Want me to pull over so you can finish the job properly, or are you going to tell us what’s wrong?’ Zoe frowns.
‘Michael booked tickets to come to Brooklyn for 4th July.’
‘Nice surprise?’
I sigh, ‘Not really.’ This is probably the worst time he could have let me know, and my reaction is anything but positive.
‘Maybe it’s what you guys need? Time away from your usual surroundings might help to rekindle the romance.’
‘The group are spending it together, right? What can go wrong? Me, Michael, Jake and Amanda all together for a whole day.’ I roll my eyes at how ridiculous the idea is.
The realization of the potential train wreck it could be, halts the line of positivity about to come from Zoe. ‘Hmmm. Well at least there will be shots, and fireworks. That will make things a bit better.’
‘I really don’t think it will.’ I don’t want to be the queen of negativity, but I can’t see how anything, but bad can come from this scenario.
‘Just get so wasted you don’t have to deal with any of them.’ I would never admit it, but Zoe makes some sense. It would be an easy get out of jail free card.
‘Like that’s never got you in a sticky situation before.’
‘Yes, but watching you get wasted and trying to deal with them all will add comedy value.’ She smiles.
I know she’s kidding but I still frown, ‘Nice to know you’re being super supportive.’
‘There’s no point in dwelling. Look at it this way. It’s either going to make or break the relationship. At least then you’ll have clarity as far as your relationship is concerned, even if you haven’t made a decision about work.’
‘I guess you’re right.’
‘I’m always right.’ She pulls me over the gear box, giving the best side-on hug she can considering she’s still hurtling down the highway.
***
It’s later that evening when we arrive home. We were the last ones to leave thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol we consumed between us the night before. We opted to be safe and leave later. It also meant we hit traffic in a big way on the highway, when trying to get back into Brooklyn.
My parents are in the kitchen, where Mom is preparing a late dinner when I eventually walk through the door.
‘Hey, honey. Good trip?’ She asks with a warm smile that instantly lifts me out of the funk I’ve been in all day.
‘It was great. The lake was beautiful, we climbed the mountain, drank a lot of cocktails.’ I choose to miss out the details of what went down with Jake.
‘Would we expect anything else with Sophie and Zoe in tow?’ Dad laughs from the where he’s sat at the kitchen table, typing away on his laptop.
‘Exactly. I’m not feeling too great today. I may have let them lead me astray.’
‘Tut tut. How dare you have fun and act your age?’ Mom waggles her finger, being anything but serious.
‘Yeah, yeah. Is dinner going to be long?’ It’s been hours since I ate, and my stomach is growling at the delicious smells filling the room.
‘No. You got home just in time. Maybe ten minutes max.’
Letting them know I’ll be back, I head up to my room, dropping my stuff on the floor planning to deal with it later. Like maybe a day or two later, then head into the bathroom to quickly freshen up. Ten minutes later, as planned, I’m settling at the table with my parents and a huge mound of pasta, salad and fresh bread. I will never get bored of the home cooked meals.
‘It smells amazing, thanks, Mom.’
‘No problem. Let’s tuck in before it gets cold.’
I’ve just finished packing away my third huge portion when Dad clears his throat, turning to face me.
‘Abby, I have a favor to ask.’
It’s not often he has such a serious tone, and the apprehension builds instantly. ‘Right?’
‘We’ve taken on a lot of new bands at the record label, and they’re all the in the early stages of rebranding and promotions.’
‘Let me guess. You need a photographer?’ I smile and relief floods through me. This conversation is much better than the one I thought we were going to have.
‘Well, yeah. I know I mentioned there would be some work at the beginning of the summer, but quite a bit has come up recently and we’re struggling to find anyone with enough time in their diary to do everything we need.’
‘You don’t need to explain, I’d be happy to help. I might need to jiggle about some shifts at the bar, but I’m sure Shaun won’t mind.’
‘Well it works kind of perfect, actually,’ he continues. ‘We’ve heard that Shaun’s bar is the up and coming place for live music, so we’re in the process of setting up a lot of new gigs there as breakout performances.’
‘Which means I will already be at the bar…’ I smile again. Dad is incredibly good at his job, and always has a way of making things work for everyone involved, with the least amount of effort.
‘Exactly. The rest will be behind the scenes; interview shots, staged shoots for branding, et cetera. maybe even some cover shots.’
‘Sounds like a lot of work. Some would say it sounds like a permanent position.’ He’s up to something. He’s had this card up his sleeve for a while, and I know it’s no coincidence that suddenly, as I return to Brooklyn, there is an abundance of work available for me at the record label.
‘There may be an opening for a permanent self-employed position.’ He fakes an innocent look around the room, as if he hadn’t already thought all this through, but it’s wasted effort as I already know what he’s up to. ‘You would still have the flexibility of being self-employed
so you could do other things, but most of the time, work with the label would be a guarantee. I know you have other options that you’re mulling over, which we still have to hear about I might mention.’
‘I know, Dad. Truthfully, I haven’t spoken with anyone about the work stuff yet. I’m still mulling it over. I can do the work this summer for the label and add you to my pile of options. How does that sound?’ I’m praying he isn’t offended that my answer wasn’t an instant yes. It would be so easy, and most people would jump at the chance and think I’m an idiot for not, but there’s too much going on in my head to make any big decisions.
His face relaxes and he replies calmly, ‘That would be perfect. You will be helping us out of a sticky situation, even if it’s just for the summer. Who knew there was so much new talent out there? They seem to have crawled out of the woodwork overnight.’
There’s still one detail niggling at me. ‘You haven’t mentioned who any of the bands are. Do I know any of them?’ My stomach clenches as my parents share a knowing look, a sign I’m about to hear something I really don’t want to.
‘About that, I suppose I do need to tell you. One of the bands you would be working with is Jake’s.’ The smile on my Dad’s face is far too overenthusiastic, as if he’s hoping if he looks ridiculously happy at what he says, I will be too.
Anger flares inside me. One minute everyone is telling me to stay away from Jake, and then they throw us into these ridiculous situations where we can’t avoid each other. ‘Seriously? Aren’t you both the ones who’ve been warning me to be careful and to stay out of Jakes way? Yet here you are pushing us back together?’
‘Abby, I never said for you not to be around him. I vaguely remember telling you that I felt like he’d grown into a great young man. That’s the reason I’m telling you to be careful. It would be easy to get caught up in the two of you again.’
‘Well you don’t need to worry. This trip set in stone that we can’t be friends, even for the group.’ Tears burn my eyes, I’m trying to fight it, but the past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster.
‘Maybe that’s not a bad thing,’ Mom says when she sees my disappointed expression.
‘At least it will make my decision at the end of the summer easier.’ I shouldn’t admit that Jake would be a contributing factor, but everyone seems to know already.
‘So,’ Dad says warily. ‘Do you think you’ll be able to work together?’
‘I guess so.’ I feel as uncertain as I sound. I’m not convincing anyone right now. ‘I’m not saying it’s going to be all sunshine and roses, but for the most part I don’t need to engage with him. I just need to give the band direction and take photos.’
‘Well that’s it settled then.’ The relief on his face is clear, even though he wouldn’t have put any pressure on me. ‘Would tomorrow be too last minute to start?’
For a moment I sit staring at my plate, contemplating the idea of being around Jake again after the disaster of the past few days. Really there’s no decision to make, the last thing I want to do is let dad and the band down. ‘It should be fine. Set it up and I’ll be wherever you need me. I have a late shift at the bar, so most of the day is free.’
The next few minutes are spent making plans for the following morning. The shoot is at the bar, which is convenient, so we plan to go together. It’s the strangest, most informal job interview I’ve had, but it’s with my dad so of course it would be. Even though my stomach is churning with nerves, he’s doing everything he can to keep things positive and make me feel comfortable working with Jake. It’s not ideal, but we’ll get through it, just.
Once I’ve helped clear the table, I say goodnight to them both and wearily make my way up to my room. Collapsing on the bed, my body and brain ache in ways I didn’t think were possible, thanks to the hangover and emotional stress of the trip. It feels like my brain is too buzzed for sleep. I wind up in a restless sleep, dreaming of Jake the whole night.
Seventeen
Waking up the following morning feeling refreshed was never going to happen. Especially when I spent the whole night tossing and turning, anticipating how today with Jake’s band would go. To make matters worse, I slept through my alarm when I finally did manage to sleep, so getting ready is a frantic rush.
We’re in the last few days of June, the run up to 4th July, and with the excitement of the celebrations to come, the temperature is rocketing. There’s no way I’m going for any sort of professional attire (perks of being self-employed); I’m going for comfort in this heat. I opt for a pair of black denim short shorts, a loose grey vest and tie my hair up in a messy bun, followed by a headband to keep as much hair as possible away from my face. There’s no point in makeup as I’m already sweating like a pig and it’s unlikely to stay in place for longer than an hour. I merely slick on a bit of concealer to try and hide the rough night I had.
Glancing at the clock, I see I only have a minute until dad wants to leave, so I slip on some sandals and grab my backpack with my camera and other gear in. Taking a quick look in the mirror as I’m leaving my room, it confirms what I already know: I’m a hot mess, but right now I couldn’t care less.
Rushing down the stairs, he’s already waiting at the door to leave, but rather than looking annoyed, he looks amused, ‘Running a bit late?’
‘Didn’t sleep that great.’ I can’t hide anything from him, so there’s no point in even trying.
‘You don’t need to be nervous, Abby bear. You’ve done bigger shoots than this.’
‘It’s not the shoot I’m worried about I can do that in my sleep. Let’s just say Jake and I didn’t exactly leave things on great terms when we left Lake Placid.’
‘Ah…. well I’m sure he will be more than professional. You have nothing to worry about.’
He puts an arm around my shoulder giving me a little squeeze for reassurance, then we head out for the day. I’d normally opt for walking, but today it’s too hot so we agree the subway is the best bet. We’re in Williamsburg within minutes, giving us chance to visit a small coffee shop I found a couple of weeks ago. We stock up on caffeine and bagels and sit at a small table on the sidewalk, while dad catches up on emails, and I people watch in an effort to calm my nerves.
The bar is pretty much empty when we arrive, apart from Shaun and a couple of suits from the label. As the bar doesn’t open for another six hours, it gives me chance to spread out my gear and get set up.
Eventually, a young woman, I’m guessing is the band’s PR rep, walks in with an assistant running behind her, wheeling a rail of clothes, nodding frantically to what the woman is saying. It all feels very professional for little old Jake and his band, which is when it dawns on me what a big deal this is for them. Today is about doing what’s best for the band, putting whatever issues Jake and I have to the side.
‘Aaaaabbbbyyyy,’ a voice hollers from the front door. I turn, finding Sam striding towards me.
Confused as hell, I ask, ‘Sam? What are you doing here?’
‘Did I forget to mention that I was also in the band?’
Annoyance hits me instantly that he kept something like this from me. ‘Yes…’.
‘My bad. Abby, I’m in a band with Jake, Zach and a guy called Ryan. Sorry I forgot to mention it, must’ve slipped my mind,’ he throws me his usual wink when he knows he’s in trouble.
‘Whatever…’ I’m feigning not caring, but don’t do a good enough job, as he doesn’t leave it.
‘Come on, Abs,’ he looks down, concerned. ‘I didn’t want you to get upset about me working so closely with Jake. Thought I’d give us a chance to catch up before you found out, and then you wouldn’t be able to bitch at me as much.’
It’s like looking at a lost little puppy, and I can see with those big blue eyes he’s genuinely worried at how mad I’m going to be with him. Feelings of guilt come full pelt. This is meant to be a big day for him and the band, so I’m forced to accept the news and move on.
I offer a small sm
ile as a peace offering. ‘It’s ok. I wish you’d told me earlier, but it’s fine, really. I’m looking forward to hearing you guys play.’
‘Thank God. I thought for a moment there you were going to kick my ass.’ He pulls me into another one of his signature hugs, placing an affectionate kiss on top of my head. If I didn’t know any better, the amount of physical contact Sam keeps throwing my way would freak me out, but we’re just friends. There’s a little niggle in my gut though, warning me maybe this isn’t one hundred percent the case for Sam.
There isn’t time to worry about it, as a throat clears from behind us. It’s no surprise that it’s Jake and his excellent timing; always catching me in one ‘embrace’ or another. When he speaks, his tone is snarky and bitter, ‘People just can’t keep their hands off you these days, can they? I didn’t know our photographer came with benefits. Where do I sign up?’
Moving away from Sam abruptly, I can’t stop myself taking a step forward towards Jake, clenching my fists tightly at my sides. It’s all I can do to stop myself swinging at him, especially with what he’s insinuating.
‘Not cool, man,’ Zach approaches us from behind. ‘I thought you said you would keep things professional.’
‘I’m not the one struggling with that, clearly,’ he replies, looking angrily between me and Sam. This is becoming a disaster and fast.
‘Do you always have to be such an ass?’ I snap. I had every intention of making sure today ran as smoothly as possible and his stubbornness is making it impossible. ‘You do realize I’m doing you a favor here. There’s no one else to do the job. Or would you like me to leave?’
I’m calling his bluff, whether he realizes or not, I’m so blinded by his anger that I’m not sure. But when his expression softens slightly, it’s clear he’s realizing we have no choice but to work together. If we’re going to do that, he needs to calm the hell down.
‘Whatever, let’s just get this over and done with.’ It’s a grumble, and not exactly positive, but at least he’s agreeing to carry on.
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