Right Where You Are

by L. E. Bross

  Her fork paused halfway to her mouth.

  “Aren’t you eating?” She cocked her head to the side. “Is everything okay?”

  It wasn’t, but there was no way I would break this magical spell and tell her that.

  “I have somewhere to show you, but it’s not anything like that spot at the lake. If you want,” I added.

  Avery set her fork down and pushed the chair back. She was on my lap with her arms around my neck before I could blink.

  “I just want to know more about you. If it’s a part of you, if you have good memories there, then I’d be honored if you shared it with me.” Her lips moved down the side of my neck, and the hairs on my arms stood up.

  “Breakfast,” I mumbled.

  “No.” She moved her legs so that she straddled my lap, and I could feel the heat from between her legs through my jeans. When she shifted her hips, I was gone.

  “Don’t blame me when you pass out from hunger later.” I gripped under her thighs and stood up, keeping her wrapped around me. She tightened her arms and bit down on my shoulder. I missed a step.

  “Damn it.”

  I made my way to her bedroom with the grace of a stampeding water buffalo.

  Avery said nothing as I made the turn into Garden Grove Estates.

  We’d taken my truck instead of her Beemer on purpose. That car in this neighborhood would draw notice. Something I didn’t want or need. I hoped that if Davis did see my truck, he’d realize I wasn’t there trying to see Sara. That he wouldn’t call the cops even though I wasn’t technically doing anything wrong. There were about five hundred feet between Ryan’s place and my old home, give or take a few hundred.

  The dull thump in my chest sped up as familiar sites greeted me. The night I got out, I had driven back to the entrance to the park, but it was dark and I allowed myself only a few glances before I took off.

  Now I saw everything clearly.

  In a year, not much had changed. Old Mrs. Hopsin’s flowers still looked like they belonged on a home and garden show, not next to a thirty-year-old run-down blue trailer. My mom used to laugh and call them eloquently barbaric looking.

  Well, she did before she met Davis and stopped thinking anything at all except when her next fix would come. I tightened my fingers around the steering wheel. This might have been a bad idea, because if I saw that fucker, I’d be tempted to run him over.

  It was taking a chance, going there to see Ryan, but I wanted to give Avery something that was a part of me. This, the rows of trailers and barking dogs and kids running around, was me.

  As if she could sense my mixed feelings about being back, Avery reached over and put her hand over one of mine, softly stroking her thumb back and forth. I felt the tension ease a little.

  “So this is where you grew up?” she asked. Her gaze had been shifting back and forth since I pulled into the park. She probably wanted to run home and take a shower to wash the grunge off.

  “Yeah, this was home sweet home.” I tried to see it through Avery’s eyes—the poverty, the lack of caring about anything, which was obvious by the condition of the cars and yards. It was even worse than I remembered. What the fuck had I been thinking, bringing her here?

  “It must have been nice growing up around so many other kids.” The wistful note in her voice floored me.

  “Huh?”

  “There are kids everywhere. You probably ran around outside all day with your friends, right? That’s so great.”

  She just summarized my entire childhood. I glanced over and saw a sad smile on her lips.

  “Yeah, I guess.” Christ, no one ever called the way I grew up great. At least not in a serious way. “Didn’t you play outside with your friends?”

  She shrugged. “Tennis lessons and horseback riding, I guess. If I were with other kids, it was always for some kind of lesson. I can’t remember just . . . playing with anyone. Not like this.” She waved her hand toward a group of boys in the middle of a game of war. Half were on one side of a driveway, hiding behind a car up on cinder blocks, their stick guns pointed at the kids on the other side.

  “Or that?” I asked.

  A group of about six teens were hanging out in a front yard. The girls were sitting on the lowered tailgate of a rusted truck, and the guys were tossing a ball around a few feet away. Music from inside the trailer thumped away over the laughter.

  How many days had Ryan and I spent doing the exact same thing?

  “I always wanted to be part of that,” Avery said. “Just hanging out, talking about anything but school or extracurricular activities or SAT scores. Having fun with boys.”

  I really wasn’t sure what to say to her. From this side of the street, the lives of the rich kids looked golden. Never worry about heat or food or getting sick, hell, yeah.

  Except she looked lost right now, and I hated it.

  “What about your friend, the one from the bar?”

  “Shari? Yeah, we’ve been friends pretty much forever. Our parents set us up in preschool. Thankfully we clicked, but it wasn’t until college that she tried to get me to loosen up a little.” She looked at me from the corner of her eye. “I started dating Grant freshman year of college, even though we’d known each other our entire lives. So I never really did the whole party scene as a teenager. The fishbowls were Shari’s idea, after she had a messy breakup with a guy freshman year. I went along with it because she needed a friend. Then it became this tradition of sorts, when my parents pissed me off, or when Shari broke up with some other guy.”

  “Fishbowls? I don’t get it.”

  “We had these bowls, and one had occupations and the other had every bar and club within five miles. We’d pick a personality and a location, and that’s who we were for the night.”

  “The night we met?”

  “Yeah. I don’t normally dress like that, if you haven’t noticed.” Avery smiled at me, and I reached out and wound my fingers between hers.

  “I owe Shari a huge favor.” I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if Avery wasn’t sitting next to me. Christ, I didn’t want to.

  I pulled into the driveway of a light gray trailer with green trim. Of all of them in the park, it was probably the nicest from the outside. Ryan put a lot of energy into keeping it up. In case his mom ever decided to come back, I was sure, but I’d never say that to his face.

  The door flew open, and Ryan bounded down the steps. I killed the engine and waited. If Avery wanted to leave, we would leave. The last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.

  “Man, I thought you were shittin’ me, bringing her here.” Ryan leaned in the driver’s-side window. “Hello again, Fancy.”

  I didn’t miss the way his gaze lowered to her bare legs, and I gave him a good smack upside the head.

  “Dude, eyes above the neck.”

  Ry winked at Avery. “Just appreciating what nature gave her.”

  I started to smack him again when Avery laughed. “I can see why you two are such good friends. Neither of you knows how to rein it in.”

  “Get that fine ass out here and grab a beer,” Ryan said. “You too, Avery.”

  Avery’s laughter followed me out of the truck. It was good to hear it, especially here. Ryan’s house was the one place that had any good memories for me, and I really wanted her to see it like I did.

  “The full effect.” Ryan swept his arm over the setup. Three lawn chairs, a red cooler filled with beer, and a fire in the old fire pit. Crazy how it looked exactly the same. But it felt different with Avery here now. Had we really sat around this fire for nights on end?

  Way back when, I tried to get Melissa to come here with me. She’d laughed in my face and asked why she’d want to sit around a trailer park and drink cheap beer.

  But Avery looked delighted as she strode over to the cooler like she’d been doing it her whole life.

  “So, Ryan,” Avery said, snatching up a beer and plopping down on a rickety lawn chair, “you have to tell me stories abo
ut Seth.”

  Ryan grinned.

  “Shit,” I muttered, grabbing a beer and sliding into the chair next to Avery. I hadn’t expected she’d want to stay and hang out. Hadn’t really thought through what would happen if she did. Everyone in the park knew me and my truck. There were more than a few who would try to cause problems.

  “When the hell did you get out and why didn’t you call me?” a low, feminine voice said right behind me, as if on cue.

  Ryan looked over my shoulder and sputtered. Beer dribbled down his chin. I thought I heard him mutter fuck, or maybe that was me. Long tan legs appeared, encased in barely there jean shorts. Tracy lifted one and straddled my chair before sinking down onto my lap. Her arms wove around my neck.

  “If I knew you were out, I would have personally welcomed you home, baby.” She leaned in to kiss me, but I jerked back. My hands were on her hips, but it was only to stop her from dry-humping me in front of Avery.

  “Err, hi, Tracy.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Avery stand up. Shit. I tried to move Tracy, but she was like a fucking burr stuck to my jeans.

  “Tracy, is it?” I heard Avery ask. She stood on my left, and when I looked up, I couldn’t get a read on what she was thinking. “I’m Avery, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop dry-humping my boyfriend now.”

  My mouth fell open, and Ryan sputtered around another mouthful of beer before bursting out with laughter.

  Tracy stopped moving and glared at Ryan over her shoulder, then slowly lifted off my lap. She eyeballed Avery from head to toe. “This? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I stood up before Tracy decided to do something stupid, and moved beside Avery. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and she leaned into me immediately.

  “You’re just the flavor of the week, sweetie,” Tracy drawled. “We have history, me and him, and when he gets tired of your bony ass, he’ll be back in my bed.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes. Good God. I hadn’t slept with Tracy in over three years. Not after one drunk night that I regretted as soon as I sobered up. We were never together after that, despite how hard she tried to change that.

  “I think it’s time you went home, Trace,” Ryan said, taking the words out of my mouth. I shook my head, partly in disbelief that Tracy had actually just tried to pull what she did, and partly in disbelief at Avery’s too-cool-to-be-true reaction.

  Tracy stormed off in a huff.

  “You want some fries with that shake, girl?” Ryan hollered.

  Tracy’s pleased laughter floated back to us. Attention. That’s all she wanted.

  I set my beer down, ready to take Avery home, when she kissed me on the cheek and settled back into her chair. “So, you were going to tell me stories about all the trouble you two got into when you were younger.”

  Ryan met my gaze over her head and nodded in approval. He liked her.

  Hell, I was speechless.

  So when Ry started in about crazy shit we did as kids, it took me awhile to find my voice and dispute half the stuff he was telling her. Ryan told her about the time we snuck out and climbed onto the roof of my house to drink beer when we were twelve. Avery said she didn’t believe him until he pointed farther down the dirt road to where a run-down trailer sat behind a row of unkempt hedges.

  And I stared at it.

  Sara was so close. Was she in there right now? Was Davis? I clenched and unclenched my fists until I felt Avery’s hand settle over mine. Soon after, I told Ryan we had to go. Coming here was both good and bad. I was glad Avery saw this small piece of me and didn’t run the other way.

  But it also reminded me that I was a failure, because Sara was still here.

  That sobering thought kept me quiet on the ride back to Avery’s place. When we got inside, she put on a movie and pulled me over to the couch. When she curled herself around me without saying a word, I let her warmth sink through me.

  Neither of us paid any attention to what was happening on the screen.

  “It’s like I’m living two different lives right now,” I said. “I’ve got you, and you make me feel like everything is possible, and then I go back and it all comes slamming back into my head. The reality is that my sister is a drug addict and I can’t help her.”

  Avery pulled back enough to look me in the eye. “You will. You got a job and you’ll have a lawyer soon. You’re doing it the right way, I promise.”

  There was no doubt or hesitation in her words, but they didn’t make me feel better. The sick feeling in my gut still twisted and tumbled. “But what if it’s too late? It’s going to take weeks to get the retainer I need. If anything happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  She took my hand and twined her fingers with mine. I stared at them as if they were a lifeline in an endless sea.

  “Remember, you fight for her, and I’ll fight for you. Always.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Avery

  I couldn’t believe I was striding into CS on Monday morning with an actual bounce in my step, but there it was. So much had happened this weekend that it seemed impossible that it was only three days earlier that I had contemplated approaching Seth in the parking lot after work. Now I couldn’t wait to spend the day with him, even if it did mean spearing trash by the roadside in a hideous orange jumpsuit.

  But Rick had other ideas.

  “Hunter,” he bellowed as soon as Seth and I walked in together. “Get over here, you’re with Dave today since Mike’s got a doctor’s note this week. You two will be helping the pickup crew through Wednesday. You’ll ride in and back with them. The rest of you, get on the bus, we’re heading out.”

  I saw Rick glance over at Seth and me.

  The way he was watching us, I knew what was going on. My father had Rick keeping an eye on me. I knew that already, but I guess it went deeper than that.

  “My father’s doing,” I said to Seth. “I know it was him.” I wanted to call and yell at him, but Rick shouted a last warning and pushed out of the door. If I didn’t get on the bus, I’d get written up as a no-show.

  Seth pulled me in for a quick hug, then kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you after CS. We can grab a pizza and go back to your place for a really long dirty shower.” He turned me around and slapped my ass, and I jumped forward. A couple of the Works guys laughed.

  Outside, I could see Rick waiting for me by the bus doors.

  Damn my father. After we got done today I was going to call him. I was twenty-one, for crying out loud. I didn’t need him babysitting me. I took my frustration out on the door and pushed it open as hard as I could.

  Last night after the trailer park visit, Seth had been so down, and it broke me to see him so hopeless. I knew he was thinking about his sister, and I wanted to fix everything for him so bad, but I couldn’t.

  Not if I wanted to keep him.

  He needed to do it on his own and I respected that, even though I hated watching him suffer through it. I started toward the bus but paused next to Rick. “I know my father told you to do this,” I said to him under my breath, not wanting the others to get wind of what was going on.

  “I told you before, you should stay away from that one. He has a violent past, and your father is just looking out for you.”

  I snorted, actually snorted at him. “You don’t know the first thing about Seth or what he did. As for my father? He’s just mad that he isn’t getting his way for once. Guess what, you’re both wasting your time. Play your games from six to two. It doesn’t really matter in the big picture.”

  “You’ll see his true colors eventually,” Rick said.

  I lifted an eyebrow. “Seth’s or my father’s?”

  Before Rick could answer, I stepped onto the bus and took a seat in the middle. From the window I could see Seth and Dave climbing into the big trash truck that would pick up the bags we filled.

  Already I missed him.

  Just being around him made me feel like I could do anything I wanted. He made me not want
to do what everyone else wanted me to. The girl I was around him? I was really starting to like her. I smiled and leaned my forehead against the glass. It didn’t matter what my father did, he couldn’t stop Seth and me from being together.

  True to his word, Rick kept us apart the entire week during the day, but we did get to see each other every single night, and I talked Seth into staying over to make it easier on both of us. Friday morning, the alarm went off and I rolled over and watched Seth’s eyes blink open.

  Having him there when I woke up was the best part of the day.

  With Grant, on the few occasions he would stay over, we operated on autopilot. I think maybe one time we had a morning quickie and it was because I asked. Looking back, it was clear what was missing.

  Passion.

  I never had this under-the-skin itch to be around Grant every minute of the day. To hear his voice or laugh, to lose myself in his eyes right before he kissed me. I never actually anticipated the next time we’d be together. Matching our schedules to fit in a date seemed logical at the time. Hell, my parents did it for as long as I can remember, and it made sense.

  Or it did.

  Now, with nothing but time, CS aside, I was starting to see the draw of a before-dinner quickie on the table, or even being surprised in the shower by a totally hot tattooed boy who stole my breath every time I saw him naked.

  He was happy with grilled cheese sandwiches and a beer.

  Didn’t need eighteen-year-old scotch and a four-course meal.

  “You look good enough to eat this morning,” Seth said in his sleep-rough voice that sent my pulse racing every time I heard it. “You’re too far away.” He reached out and slid an arm under my waist and dragged me closer.

  He didn’t need to pull me, because I’d go to him anytime he asked.

  Seth nestled my back against his front and buried his face in my neck. The light overnight stubble on his chin sent goose bumps rippling down my arms.

  “I wish we could play hooky and stay here all day.”

  “Saturday morning. It’s a date,” he said against my skin. “No clothes. No plans. You. Me. This bed and maybe the couch, or the table, or the . . .” He oomphed when I elbowed him. “I take back my own rule. The plan is now to have you in every single room of your place. That might take all day.”