My Wife My Baby...And Him

by Shelia E. Bell

  Stiles’ flight arrived on time. Just like Leo told him, one of the newer deacons from the church was there to take him to the hospital. Stiles questioned him, but the man told him he didn’t know the extent of Detria’s injuries, so he couldn’t be of any help.

  When he arrived at the hospital, Leo met him downstairs in the Trauma Unit waiting area.

  “How is she?” Stiles asked Leo.

  “They just brought her out of surgery a few minutes ago. She’s in Recovery. Come on, I’ll take you to the Critical Care Waiting Room. You can talk to the receptionist up there. She’ll make sure the doctor knows you’re here. Brother and Sister Mackey are up there and some of the church members too.”

  “Thanks, Leo.”

  “Man, you know I got your back.”

  “Hello,” Brother Mackey said when Stiles approached his in-laws in the waiting room. If Brother Mackey had any lingering animosity toward Stiles, it didn’t show. Only a sadness was heard in his eyes and worry was evident on his wrinkling face.

  Stiles kissed Mrs. Mackey on the cheek and several other women from Holy Rock.

  One of the trustees approached Stiles and hugged him. “We’re praying for y’all, Pastor Graham,” the trustee told him.

  “Thank you, Brother. I stopped and talked to the receptionist. She told me the doctor should be calling soon to let us know how Detria’s doing,” Stiles told the small crowd gathered in the waiting room.

  “Yes, that’s what they told us too,” Mrs. Mackey responded. “They also said that she made it through the surgery okay.”

  “Praise God,” one of the church members said.

  “Now, if I can just find out how my precious grandbaby is doing,” Mrs. Mackey cried. “I’m worried about her. Brooke still hasn’t called and told us anything.”

  “My baby was in the car?” Stiles turned and looked angrily at Leo who was standing behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me my little girl was in the car, Leo?” he yelled.

  “I didn’t want to make you anymore upset than you already were. I wanted to wait until you made it to Memphis.”

  “How is my daughter?” he asked, looking from one person to another. “And where is she?”

  “She’s at Le Bonheur. The McCoy’s, Detria’s sister, and Cynthia are over there,” Leo explained.

  Stiles pulled his cell phone out of its case and dialed Brooke. No answer. Next, he called Hezekiah.

  “Hello, Pastor McCoy. How is my baby?” Stiles was highly agitated.

  “Pastor.” Hezekiah’s voice sounded weak and tired. “Are you back in Memphis?”

  “Yes, I’m at The Med waiting to get word about Detria. They say she’s in recovery. Tell me; how is Audrey?”

  “I think you should get over here, Pastor,” is all Hezekiah said.

  Stiles hung up the phone abruptly. He looked at Leo. “Take me to my daughter. Poppa Mackey, I have to get to my daughter. Please call me as soon as you hear about Detria.”

  “What did Pastor McCoy say?” Brother Mackey asked. His face was lined with worry, and his eyes were red with bags forming underneath them like he hadn’t slept in days.

  “Only that I need to get over there.”

  “Lord, have mercy,” Mother Mackey immediately started crying out, and then she tried calling Brooke again. There was still no answer. “I’m going with you,” she insisted.

  “Now, baby, Brooke is already there. Why don’t you stay with me? Audrey is going to be fine.”

  “Look, he’s right, Mother Mackey. I’ll call you as soon as I get over there and find out what’s going on. I promise.” Stiles leaned over and kissed her tear stained cheek again.

  “Please call me. Brooke won’t answer her phone, and I need to know how my grandbaby is.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I will.”

  “You ready?” asked Leo.

  “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  ***

  Detria’s doctor called for her family minutes after Stiles left.

  “How is our little girl, Doctor?” Mr. Mackey asked.

  The doctor looked at Mr. Mackey and then briefly looked at the other people in the room that he assumed to be Detria’s family. “Your daughter sustained serious injuries. She’s in critical condition. Her right arm was almost severed, but the good news is that we were able to save it from amputation. However, because of the extensive nerve damage, it’s unlikely she’ll ever be able to use it again. As for her other injuries, she sustained fractures to her pelvis and both of her legs. We had to place pins in both knees and another pin in her left ankle. Her right foot is fractured too.” The doctor tilted his head slightly then straightened it. “As far as we can tell, she isn’t paralyzed.”

  “Oh, Lord!” Mrs. Mackey stifled her own cries by covering her mouth with her hand. “Lord, please, Lord, take care of my child.” Several of the church members gathered around her to comfort her. Mr. Mackey draped his left arm around his wife’s shoulders.

  “She is heavily sedated so when you do see her, try not to be alarmed if she doesn’t respond. We want to make her as comfortable as possible because being fully awake, the pain would be unbearable.”

  “She is going to be able to walk when she comes out of this, isn’t she?” Mrs. Mackey stepped forward, slightly closer to the doctor like she had to make sure she heard what he was about to say.

  The doctor continued. “She’s going to require extensive therapy, and even then she’ll more than likely be wheelchair bound for months, maybe longer. I can’t say.”

  Hearing the doctor’s report, Mrs. Mackey staggered and almost fell down. Mr. Mackey led her over to the waiting room sofa. He carefully sat her down and wrapped his arm around her shoulder to console her. Several of the church members walked over to comfort both of them.

  Mrs. Mackey looked up at the doctor, gasped again, then held her heart before leaning back over in her husband’s arms and wailing.

  Barely visible, tears flowed along the crevices of Mr. Mackey’s light brown skin before dripping on his midnight blue oxford shirt.

  Chapter 41

  “Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” Xavier Hesse

  “Are you going to be here in time for us to go get something to eat?” Xavier looked down at his growling stomach. “There’s nothing in the refrigerator worth eating,” he complained.

  “Honey, there’s plenty of food in the fridge and some frozen fruit in the freezer. Oh, and there’s almond milk in there too. Why don’t you make one of those delicious smoothies you like? Umm,” Fancy hummed into the phone, hoping to calm her unhappy son down a little until she and Hezekiah could make it home.

  “A smoothie? It’s not going to fill me up. You do know that don’t you, Mom?”

  “Yes, sweetheart. I know that. What I’ll do is I’ll call you when we’re leaving the hospital. If you want us to stop and pick you up something on the way home, then we can do that.”

  “See, that’s another thing. Why won’t you let me drive? I have my learner’s permit and in a few months, I can get my driver’s license. If I was at home, Grandpa and Grandma would be letting me drive them around all over the place.”

  Fancy was growing frustrated by Xavier’s complaints.

  “Well, you’re not in Chicago, Xavier. You’re in Memphis with your parents. As far as we’re concerned, you are at home. And you won’t be driving anywhere unless one of us is in the car with you. And really, Xavier, now is not the time for this conversation.”

  “Still, I’m just saying. It’s boring here.”

  She whispered into the phone as she stepped out of the waiting room and into the hospital hallway. “I told you the pastor’s wife and his little girl were in a serious accident. So, please try to be a little more patient with me and your father.” She waited on a response but there was none. “Xavier, do you hear me?”

  “Yes. Bye, Mom,” he answered with a mouthful of attitude.

  “Good Bye, Son. I love you.”

/>   The phone went silent. Fancy remained in the hallway until she saw two doctors walk past her and into the private intensive care room where Audrey was.

  Right away, she walked in behind them, eager to hear what they had to say. The poor child was lying in the bed, unconscious. Tubes and machines surrounded her like a shroud. The rise and fall of her chest was prominent as the breathing machine pumped life into her little body.

  Stiles stood next to the bed holding her hand. It was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do in his life. Seeing his little girl lying unconscious in a hospital bed, her face and body swollen beyond recognition, was heart wrenching. This was his little girl, and he couldn’t help her.

  “Please Father, heal my child. In your Word you said not to be afraid. You said if I just believe. Well, I’m believing, Father God, believing for healing for my Audrey,” he cried while stroking the little girl’s natural curly locks of coal black hair.

  Hezekiah sat on the chair across from her bed, head bowed, and hands clasped as he silently petitioned for God’s healing grace.

  Both doctors came in the room and positioned themselves at Audrey’s bed, one on each side.

  “How is she?” Stiles asked, as his eyes flitted from one doctor to the next, revealing his worry and fear.

  “Are you her father?” the African doctor asked in broken English.

  “Yes, I’m her father. Tell me what’s going on with my baby? When is she going to wake up?”

  “Your daughter sustained a massive head injury and there’s swelling on the brain. She has collapsed lungs, both of her arms are fractured, her left hip and her pelvis are fractured too. She has some internal bleeding, which we think is coming from a ruptured spleen.”

  The Caucasian doctor standing on the right of Audrey’s bed spoke next. “She is on this ventilator, which is breathing for her. I’m sorry to have to tell you that your little girl has irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brainstem.”

  “Talk to me in layman’s terms, Doctor. Tell me when my little girl is going to wake up. Tell me that she’s going to be okay.”

  Brooke stood next to Stiles, her eyes overflowing with tears. She grabbed hold of her brother-in-law’s trembling hand.

  “I don’t know if you’re a praying man, but if you are, then now is the time to start praying,” the doctor said.

  The African doctor interjected. He spoke slowly, void of emotions, and had no bedside manners whatsoever. Listening to him, Brooke could only assume that he could not have had kids because then he would understand how difficult it was for a parent to hear devastating news about their child.

  “Your little girl has no brain function. We are going to test her brain function again, but I don’t expect any change. The ventilator is only prolonging the dying process by supplying oxygen, but it’s not going to improve her condition.”

  Hezekiah got up and walked up to Stiles, planting himself next to Brooke. Fancy came up and stood next to her husband.

  Looking from the father to the woman standing next to him, the Caucasian doctor reluctantly gave Stiles the news he knew they did not want to hear. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but she’s clinically brain dead.” This was one of those times when he hated his profession. He was about the business of saving lives, but when he had to tell family members and loved ones that their loved one was not going to survive, it hurt him to the core every time.

  “You’ll have to make a decision when to take her off the ventilator. But to be honest, she can expire before you even make that decision.”

  The doctor’s voice unveiled a sense of knowing. It was if he could feel and understand what must have been going on in Stiles’ already grief stricken mind. He looked at the other loved ones of the little girl, and it made him think about his two little kids at home. What would he do if one of them were lying in this hospital bed dying? Would his faith sustain him? Would his prayers to God give him the strength he would need to endure? He wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to find out, not ever.

  Leo and Cynthia were stationed close to the door. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, but other than that, he didn’t move. It was like a magnet was holding him in place. The sadness he felt for his friend was overwhelming. He thought about his own kid and the thought of something like this happening was almost too much for him to take in. He held back his tears and told himself that he had to remain strong for Stiles.

  Cynthia wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand as she cried silently on Leo’s shoulder.

  The amount of grief, hurt and pain in the room was way too much for either of the doctors to take. They extended their sorrow before slowly exiting the room, leaving Stiles battered, bereft and broken.

  Chapter 42

  “When the heart is burdened with grief, nothing looks bright.” Simran Khurana

  Detria’s wheelchair was stationed at the end of the church pew. She had been out of the hospital less than twenty-four hours. Both legs were encased in casts, and strapped together with black neoprene belts. Her right arm was tucked against her chest in a sling. She wept uncontrollably. She blamed herself for her little girl’s death. If only she had been more watchful, more careful, then maybe she could have somehow gotten out of the path of the tractor-trailer. If only she hadn’t gone to the store. If only she hadn’t been fussing at Audrey. If only, if only, if only.

  It didn’t matter that the doctor’s told her she would never have use of her right arm again. It didn’t matter that she could be wheelchair bound for months. It didn’t matter that her marriage had fallen apart. Nothing mattered anymore, not even her baby boy who was still in the hospital fighting for his life. This was her payback. This was her lot in life, and she was going to have to live with her actions and decisions for the rest of her life. It served her right. She felt like this was God’s way of paying her back for all the pain and hurt she’d brought on her husband, her family, and her little girl.

  Stiles sat next to Detria on the front row directly in front of Audrey’s tiny pink and white casket. He was unable to console her; his own grief would not allow him to. Pain attached itself around his heart like a leach, sucking the very life out of him. His eyes were swollen from the tears that had continued to pour since Audrey took her last breath one week ago.

  Pastor and Josie, Francesca and her husband, Tim, along with the Mackey family and other close family members, occupied the first two rows.

  Francesca hadn’t seen or talked to her brother in months. When Tim told her that Stiles had called the church they attended and asked someone to get in touch with her, she was initially angry. She had changed her phone number and the farthest thing from her mind was reconciling with her family. Like Tim had told her, it was her duty to forgive her family for the hurt they’d caused in her life, and Francesca felt she had done just that. She had made peace with the way things were and she was actually happy. Many people with HIV/AIDS were living longer and some were even enjoying healthy lives. Francesca was one of them. She took good care of herself by trying to stay healthy, exercising and choosing to make better food choices.

  When she got the news about her niece, Francesca felt awful. She may not have had a relationship with her niece, but it still caused a deep pain for Francesca. As badly as she wanted her and Tim to have children, the thought of parents having kids and then losing them so tragically weighed heavily on Francesca’s heart. This was not the time for her to forsake her family. She had to be at the funeral for her brother, and her one and only niece. She was surprised to learn that Detria had given birth to a second child, but that wasn’t Francesca’s concern right now. She was at Holy Rock for one reason, and one reason only, to pay her last respects to the little girl lying in the casket looking like she was sleeping.

  The church was packed. Many people had to be seated in the overflow room and watch the funeral services from a closed circuit television. Weeping and moaning could be heard throughout the sanctuary as people
walked to the casket to view the little girl’s body one last time.

  As the service proceeded, Hezekiah rendered the eulogy. “There is nothing more heartbreaking than the death of a child. Little Audrey Graham may only have been two years old, but she lived a beautiful, happy life. She brought a smile and joy to Pastor Stiles and First Lady Detria. She was spoiled rotten,” Hezekiah smiled, “by her grandparents.” He looked directly toward the Mackey family. “I know we don’t understand, and we can’t see what He sees, but God really is in control. Some of you may ask, Lord why did this have to happen to an innocent little child? Why did you call her home at such a tender age?” Hezekiah didn’t understand himself, but it was his duty, his responsibility, and his calling as a man of God to give the family something to hold on to.

  Hezekiah looked out at the mass of people, then at Stiles and Detria. “Pastor…First Lady. We love you. Holy Rock is here for you during this difficult journey you are forced to embark upon. This journey through grief is not going to be easy. It’s going to take time. It’s going to take much prayer…”

  Hezekiah continued delivering a heartfelt eulogy as he fought back his own tears.

  Skip was seated on one of the pews toward the back of the sanctuary, with Meaghan sitting next to him. She hadn’t told Skip about the encounter she’d had with Detria prior to the accident because she felt there was no need to. She had told Detria exactly how she felt and she didn’t regret it. She did, however, feel bad that the little girl had died, but it wasn’t her fault. If it was anybody’s fault, it was Detria’s. Meaghan thought about it. Karma ain’t nothing nice, nothing nice at all.

  ***

  Like they did almost every night, together Rena and Robert tucked their children into bed. “I love you,” she told each of them as did Robert, followed by a kiss goodnight.

  Rena hid the hurt as best she could. Her reason being, Robert had accused her of dwelling on her past far too much. She resented his accusation. Didn’t he realize that a child had lost her life? When her mother told her about Audrey’s death, Rena thought about how blessed she was to have not one, not two, but four children. Though Robert’s two kids weren’t biologically hers, they were hers since she had legally adopted them. The twins she and Robert had together were an added source of joy, and a blessing. She recalled how frightened she was about giving birth knowing that she had an incurable STD, but God had been faithful. She had a safe delivery and gave birth to two healthy babies. So to hear that Stiles and Detria had lost their only daughter sent Rena into somewhat of a mini-depression. She cried on and off for days. She wanted to go to Memphis to the funeral, but Robert had been totally against it.