ROMANCE: Love Untamed: A Diamond Creek Alaska Novel, Contemporary Romance (Diamond Creek, Alaska Novels Book 4)

by Croix, J. H.

  “Under here.”

  Unsure of what he meant to do with her hand, she slipped it into his palm, feeling the moisture from her on it. He tugged her hand under the table and pressed it against his jeans. His cock was hard and hot through the rough fabric. He pressed her palm hard against him and then released it, bringing his naughty hand out from under the table. He dipped a napkin in his water and quickly wiped his hand. His expression was fierce when he looked over at her.

  “Just so you know what you do to me,” he said bluntly.

  Susie nodded jerkily, resting her elbows on the table. She was flustered beyond measure and forced herself to look away, trying to get her bearings.

  “I’m not sure we can keep doing this and act like nothing is going on,” Susie said. She hadn’t planned on saying that, but her feelings were intense and raw right now.

  Jared nodded. “I know.”

  “What should we do?”

  Jared eyed her, his eyes inscrutable. “I don’t know.”

  Susie sensed now definitely wasn’t the time for this conversation. She felt Jared putting up walls and wasn’t ready to sort through how she felt and what to do. She shrugged. “Let’s eat and worry about it later.”

  Chapter 13

  Jared knelt down and looked under the shed. “Oh, I see what you mean,” he commented to Luke. “The piling on the far side is rotten.” He rested on his heels and looked up at Luke. “So what’s your plan?”

  Luke leaned against the side of the shed. “I have a replacement piling already cut to size. We need to jack the corner up and switch the pilings out. With your help, we can get it done pretty quick.”

  Jared nodded and stood. “You got the house jack from Nathan?”

  “Yup. He dropped it off this morning.”

  “All right, let’s get going.”

  A while later, they were almost done with the project. Jared was on his back under the edge of the shed, adjusting the bolts on the piling when Luke made a comment that made him glad Luke couldn’t see his face.

  “So Hannah’s near convinced you and Susie are together. If you were hoping nobody would notice, forget it,” Luke said bluntly.

  Jared considered deflecting, but he knew it was pointless. Plus, he figured he could use Luke’s advice. He just needed a minute to gather himself. “Give me a sec,” he replied, slowing the pace at which he was tightening the bolts to buy a minute or two. The nights with Susie were stacking up. When he wasn’t with her, he’d try to persuade himself he could go a night without her. By the time evening rolled around, all he did was think about her. When they were together, he forgot about his reservations about relationships. But then, they didn’t quite have a typical relationship. And yet, it had gone on long enough now he knew he needed to either make it stop or…something else.

  Almost every morning, he found himself behind schedule. She didn’t use an alarm, or appear to have any type of schedule. At least, not what he would call a schedule. Her days seemed to be guided loosely. She had meetings with clients and was reliably punctual with those, but otherwise, it was a free for all. He’d taken to mostly staying at her place because she tended to leave a trail of disorder in her wake when she stayed at his. The physical disorder was strangely like the emotional disorder he felt. He was constantly trying to straighten up behind her in the hopes his life would feel in order again. It was in vain.

  For instance, he found a random shoe of hers in his kitchen closet yesterday. Just one shoe. He was still puzzling over how someone could misplace a single shoe and not notice it days later. A few days prior, he found a thong under his bed. When he’d returned the items to her, she didn’t seem the least bit bothered she’d lost track of anything. While she was unperturbed, he was unsettled. He liked his world organized and prided himself on keeping it that way. Even more unsettling—when he thought he should close the door on this madness with her, he couldn’t conceive of doing that.

  He finished tightening the bolts and shimmied out from under the shed. Luke extended a hand to pull him up. Jared handed Luke the tools, dusted himself off and leaned against the shed.

  “I figured you’d notice at some point,” Jared said, looking over at Luke.

  Luke chuckled and tucked the tools and his work gloves in the back of his truck, which was parked right beside the shed. He shifted to sit on the tailgate and looked expectantly at Jared.

  Jared sighed and rolled his head around, loosening the tension in his neck. “I hate admitting you were right, but I have to. Susie’s been driving me half out of my mind for a while now. About a month ago, I got tired of fighting it. Since then, we’ve been together almost every night.” He paused for a breath. He wasn’t sure what he needed, but he knew he needed a perspective other than his own. “And damn if I know what to do about it. Any advice?”

  Luke gave him a long look. “I wish it was more fun to be right. Having you fess up this quick is kind of anticlimactic,” he said with a short laugh.

  “Sorry I couldn’t make it more satisfying. When you’re right, you’re right. You’re the one who pointed out that I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Now I can’t keep my hands off of her. All this time, I kept telling myself to steer clear of Susie. She’s a good friend. I respect her. Our lives are all tangled up with the connections we have. And now…” he trailed off and leaned his head against the shed.

  “Was there a question in there?”

  Jared shrugged. “Probably not. Look, you know I’ve said for years I didn’t want a relationship. I didn’t. But I can’t treat Susie like some passing fling. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m not sure I want to.” Simply saying that aloud, Jared’s heart kicked up a notch. Whatever lay between him and Susie intimidated him. His penchant for control was shattered around her.

  He looked over at Luke to catch his mouth hanging half-open. Luke closed it and shook his head slowly. “I may have been right that you couldn’t keep your eyes off Susie. But I did not predict this. So let me get this straight: you—my older brother who has told me for years he has no intention of having a relationship—is saying he just might want one.”

  Jared couldn’t help but laugh, even though he was embarrassed. “I’m seriously considering the idea. If this relationship thing hinges on how compatible we are in bed, well then we have it made. Problem is, she drives me damn near crazy in other ways. Remember how Nathan used to be when we all lived together?”

  “You mean how he never really had a schedule, at least not the kind you liked, he left things around the house and parked half out of the garage sometimes?”

  Jared nodded. “Exactly.”

  Luke threw his head back with a laugh. “Okay, I’m the middle brother, so I got the whole picture. Sure, Nathan isn’t the tidiest, most organized guy. But when it matters, he’s on the nose on time and takes care of whatever needs to be done. You? You’re so organized, you’re practically a walking spreadsheet. Falling somewhere short of that isn’t a bad thing. Don’t forget you lived with Nathan most of your life until he got married. You worked it out with him. After I moved out, it seemed like you two got along even better. If that’s the kind of thing driving you crazy with Susie, you’ll get over it.”

  Jared eyed Luke who couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I know it’s funny, but it’s also not funny. You’ve been on my case to get over myself and consider a relationship. I tell you I am, and you can’t stop laughing.”

  Luke sobered. “Fair enough. I know it’s not easy. You saw what I went through with Hannah. For different reasons, I was in a similar boat, so I get it. What does Susie want?”

  If Jared knew that elusive answer, he’d feel better about his own uncertainty. But he wasn’t sure what Susie wanted. In some ways, she was far more relaxed than he was about this. In other ways, she held herself at a distance. “Not sure I should tell you this, so promise me you’ll keep it to yourself.” He met Luke’s eyes, so similar to his own. Luke nodded, his expression
somber and quizzical.

  “She was a virgin. And damn if I know what it means that she decided to let me be the one to change that little detail.”

  Luke looked somewhat underwhelmed by this detail. His expression was carefully blank. Too carefully blank.

  “I’m guessing maybe Hannah knew and mentioned it to you, huh?”

  Luke nodded.

  “And I’m getting the sense you know something I don’t.”

  Luke shifted on the tailgate, looking uncomfortable. “Don’t read too much into it. Why don’t you ask Hannah about it?”

  “So I finally fess up about what’s going on with me and Susie and now you want me to share this with Hannah and ask her why the hell Susie was still a virgin? I only mentioned it because it kinda blew my mind.”

  “I think Hannah could shed some light on a few things,” Luke replied.

  “How come you can’t?”

  “Because I don’t know Susie the way Hannah does. Those two have been best friends since elementary school. Since you’re looking for advice, you might as well talk to her.”

  Jared pushed away from the shed. “Okay, let’s do it.” He quickly glanced around to make sure he hadn’t left any tools on the ground. “We’re done here, right?”

  At Luke’s nod, Jared turned and walked to the house, Luke walking at his side.

  ***

  Hannah was walking into the kitchen when they came through the door. She immediately walked up to Luke and gave him a kiss. For a moment, Jared envied their comfortable intimacy. All this time, he’d been pleased his brothers settled down because it took the pressure off of him. He’d never once experienced any envy. Oh, Hannah was beautiful, intelligent and warm, and he could appreciate that, but that’s as far as it went. But this last month with Susie made him long for the kind of comfort he saw between Luke and Hannah.

  Hannah turned to him with a grin. “John was not happy you two didn’t get back inside sooner. He wanted to see you before I put him down for his nap. Needless to say, he got fussier and more tired, so he’s asleep now.”

  “I’ll stop by tomorrow when he’s up,” Jared replied.

  Luke headed straight for the refrigerator and grabbed two beers, gesturing for Jared to sit at the kitchen table. Jared listened to Hannah and Luke banter for a few minutes. Hannah joined them at the table after putting some chips and salsa out for them.

  Luke glanced between Jared and Hannah. “So I suggested Jared might want to talk to you about Susie. You guessed right about them, but don’t give him too much grief because he fessed up right away,” Luke said with a wry grin.

  Hannah’s mouth fell open and then she squealed. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you two have kept this under wraps.”

  Jared shifted in his seat. He met Hannah’s eyes and smiled ruefully. “I think she wanted to say something sooner, but with everything happening with Emma…To be fair, I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so she went along with that. I hope you won’t hold it against her.”

  Hannah grinned and shrugged. “Oh no. Susie doesn’t have to answer to me. Lord knows, I don’t always tell her everything right away. But I have to admit to being ecstatic about this. I told her I thought you two would make a good couple!”

  Jared shifted again, uncomfortable with how excited Hannah was when he didn’t even know which end was up with Susie. Hannah’s grin faded as she looked over at him.

  “Okay, what’s up? You don’t look too excited,” she said quickly.

  Before Jared could reply, Luke interjected. “Hon, I told Jared he should talk to you, but he wasn’t exactly running in here. He’s, uh, not sure what to do. I thought you might be able to give him some insight into, uh, why Susie hasn’t really been with anyone in a while.”

  Hannah looked between Luke and Jared. Luke looked as uncomfortable as Jared felt by this point. “You thought I’d give him some insight into…?”

  Jared set his beer down. “For crying out loud, I’ll explain. I’m in over my head here. I can’t think straight when it comes to Susie. I never, and I do mean never, planned on another relationship, but I’m having serious second thoughts. I can’t tell what Susie’s thinking, and I’m still pretty freaked out she was a virgin. She acts like it was some kind of random accident, but that’s not the vibe I get and why me? Why the hell did she decide to lose it with me? I have no idea what she wants, if she wants anything from me, and I don’t know what to do.” Jared ran his hands through his hair and groaned. Susie had gotten under his skin so much, he’d just unloaded on her best friend and utterly embarrassed himself in the process.

  He looked up and met Hannah’s eyes, which were soft blue and filled with concern and understanding. Which somehow made him feel worse. He was not the guy who women looked at with understanding and a hint of concern. Luke took a gulp of beer and shook his head. “You’re in deep,” he said wryly.

  Hannah glared at Luke. Jared was so emotionally out of sorts, he appreciated her protectiveness. She turned her gaze back to Jared and sighed. “So it sounds like things might be kind of…serious?”

  Jared shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought we could get it out of our systems, but it hasn’t really worked out that way.”

  Hannah burst out laughing. Jared rolled his eyes. “Luke just laughed at me too. Could you lay off here? I get that it’s kinda funny, but I’m serious.”

  Hannah stopped laughing and shook her head. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I swear. I laughed because Susie said almost the same thing before anything actually happened. She had this idea she’d have a one-night stand with you and get it out of her system.”

  “Yeah, it was her bright idea. I don’t know why I went along with it. I damn sure wouldn’t have if I’d known she was a virgin,” he said with a sharp shake of his head.

  Hannah nodded slowly.

  “Could you maybe shed some light on that?” he asked.

  This time, she shook her head slowly. “I think you need to talk to Susie.”

  Jared threw his hands up. “I did! She said it was an accident. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I thought she shouldn’t be a virgin, it’s just not how she acted. She’s the one who suggested the one-night stand. Not that I have lots of experience with virgins—make that one—but I sure as hell didn’t expect a virgin to propose a one-night stand. She was all casual about it, which doesn’t make any sense.” He groaned and ran his hands through his hair again.

  Hannah was quiet for a long moment. “Here’s what I can say. Susie used to date pretty regularly and was a bit of a flirt. Something happened to change that. It’s not my place to talk about it, but since you care about her, you should ask her. And don’t take her excuses for an answer.”

  Jared looked at Luke. “So why exactly did you want me to talk to her?” he asked, gesturing to Hannah.

  Luke looked at Hannah. “Could you maybe give him a clue how Susie’s brain works? He’s lost over here.”

  Hannah chuckled. “If you hadn’t figured it out already, Susie’s a passionate person. She’s loyal as hell. I figured she’d be with someone long ago, but…” she paused and shrugged “…that’s not how it’s worked out. I think she’s forceful enough that it scares some guys away. They’re too stupid to know what they’re losing. That’s why I thought you two would make a good couple. You’re not going to be intimidated by her. And she’s not intimidated by you. The one-night stand thing, that’s not typical of Susie. I think she’s just as freaked out by how she feels about you as you are about her. So go talk to her. Now.”

  Jared rolled his head around, again trying to loosen the tension in his neck. He looked at Hannah for a long moment. “I was hoping you’d tell me what I should do.”

  “I just did. Go talk to her,” Hannah replied with a grin.

  Jared had been hoping for a shortcut, but it was becoming clear he’d have to swallow his confusion and talk directly to Susie. Which terrified part of him—the part that had decided years ago that relationships were too m
essy. Susie was beginning to matter far more than he’d gambled. He finished his beer in a long swallow and stood up. “Guess I’ll have to.”

  Luke gave him a sympathetic grin while Hannah smiled encouragingly.

  Chapter 14

  Susie walked onto her deck and set the groceries she had on the small table by the door. She walked to the front of the deck and sat in one of the chairs. Jasmine was seated on the railing, grooming. Susie looked out at the familiar view, trying to settle herself inside. It was early evening and the sun had started to dip down toward the horizon. The water was calm in the bay, the light from the falling sun rippling on the water. Mount Augustine was haloed with clouds, light filtering through them in shafts of gold and rose. The field in front of her house was filled with fireweed, which was close to blooming, the tips of the tall flowery weed bright fuchsia with buds. A raven called from its perch in a nearby tree, another immediately answering.

  Susie took a slow breath. Jared had texted a while ago, saying he’d be over soon. She’d convinced herself they needed to stop this madness. She’d known long before she’d fallen under the spell of this intense attraction for Jared, he didn’t want a relationship. Not to mention that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted, and the closer she got to Jared, the more exposed she felt, which was decidedly not comfortable. She also sensed she was grating on him, which annoyed her beyond measure. Oh, he didn’t say anything, but she knew it drove him nuts that she wasn’t as tidy as he was and didn’t stick to a schedule they way he did. Precisely why he drove her nuts with his insistence on precision. She appreciated precision when it mattered—like with math and accounting—but otherwise, she found it unnecessary and annoying. She’d decided tonight she’d explain they needed to end this. She figured cold turkey was the best approach. Otherwise, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.