by Croix, J. H.
“Yoo-hoo,” she said with a wave.
His head whipped up, surprise flashing across his face. She kicked her shoes off and walked to the couch, plopping down on it. “Thought I’d stop by. Seems like we’re at my place all the time. What’s up?”
Jared turned on the stool to face her. “Working on some planning for our next commercial trip. I was gonna call you in a bit and head your way.” He glanced at his watch.
He didn’t make a move to come over to where she sat, which irritated her. She knew she was interrupting, but she didn’t care. She wanted him to shift gears and go with the flow. “Why don’t we stay here tonight?” she asked with a bright smile.
“Don’t you have to feed Jasmine?” he countered.
“She’s a cat, Jared. I filled her food and water before I left today.”
“Does she need to go in?”
“Is Jasmine the only reason we always stay at my place?” Susie asked sharply.
Jared’s expression was inscrutable, carefully blank. He shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Well then don’t worry about it. Jasmine will be fine for one night. What should we have for dinner?” she asked. She purposefully grabbed one of the throw pillows and tucked it behind her and then dragged the throw, so precisely placed on the back of the couch, over her legs.
Jared’s mouth tightened. He glanced at his laptop and back at her. “I need a little time to finish up what I was working on. Do you want to pick up some pizza while I finish up?”
Susie shook her head. “Nope. I had pizza for lunch today.” A complete lie because she hadn’t had pizza since she had lunch with Hannah a few days ago, but Susie was determined to stay at Jared’s place and make him tolerate her interruption. A sense of perversity had been building. Jared had gotten under her skin, so she planned to get under his.
“Can I cook something?” she asked, standing quickly. She tossed the pillow to the floor and allowed the throw to slip off the couch, hanging haphazardly. She couldn’t have planned it better. Jared’s eyes traveled to the errant pillow and throw and back to her. His eye twitched, but his expression remained carefully controlled.
He didn’t reply, but turned away. He quickly saved whatever he was working on and closed his laptop. She walked over and leaned on the counter beside him. When he swiveled to face her again, she grinned. “So what can I cook?”
His green eyes searched her face. “I’d rather go somewhere,” he replied.
Susie felt downright mutinous. “Not in the mood,” she said, pushing away from the counter and walking to the small pantry in his kitchen.
Jared moved quickly and followed her to the pantry. He leaned against the doorway. Her pulse revved and desire slid stealthily through her body. She batted the feeling back. She didn’t like feeling out of control and wanted to shake Jared up.
“Mind telling me what’s going on?” Jared asked.
She ducked under his arm, getting out of the tiny pantry. The close proximity to him made her thoughts fuzzy.
“I want to cook, and I want to stay here. We’re always at my place. How come you don’t want me here?”
His eyes narrowed, but he remained silent, which annoyed her further. “You know what I think?” she asked, her tone sharp.
He shook his head.
“I think you don’t like it when I’m here because you can’t keep everything perfect.” Her temper was rising. She was determined to get him to be honest. She didn’t like to think about it, but Jared’s tendency to keep their relationship contained to her house represented what she feared—that he didn’t want this to be anything other than convenient for him. While he was willing to entertain the idea of a relationship, he didn’t mean for it to be anymore than it already was. Meanwhile, her heart was in too deep, and she knew it.
Jared eyed her carefully, his jaw was tight, his eyes dark. He shook his head slowly.
Susie ignored him and walked back over to the couch. She threw the rest of the pillows in a heap on the floor and picked up a book and tossed it on the floor. “What are you gonna do now?”
Not waiting for his reply, she flounced up the stairs. Inside, she was spiraling. She felt too off kilter, too vulnerable and too uncertain about what was happening between them. Jared was starting to matter way too much. A tiny voice in the corner of her mind tried to get her attention, but she ignored it. Instead, she stormed into his bedroom and tore the covers off his bed. She whirled around and stomped back down the stairs. To find him leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed.
“What?” she demanded.
“Just wondering when you’ll be done with…” he paused and waved a hand around “…whatever this is.”
Her chest was tight, her heart hammering. If blood could boil, hers did. “This…” she replied, imitating his hand wave around the room “…is you being way too in control. You can’t stand having anyone over here because it’s not perfect. Well, life is messy. Relationships are messy. Sometimes, I’m messy.”
Jared’s nostrils flared as he took a sharp breath. “I am not too in control. You forget. I lived with my brothers for years. Have you met Nathan? No one could ever accuse him of being a neat freak. Don’t make this something it’s not.”
Susie didn’t know how to reel herself in. All she knew was she couldn’t get Jared out of her head, she couldn’t get her body to behave, and he was burrowing into her heart. Meanwhile, he stayed calm, cool and collected. He was gracious and polite, but he kept her at a distance…except in bed when the intimacy and passion was so intense, she almost burned in its flames.
She stared at Jared. “What am I to you?”
His composure split for a second, uncertainty flashing through his eyes. His mouth opened and closed. “What is this about?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said flatly.
“Susie…you mean a lot to me. I told you, I’m not sure what this is but…”
She cut him off. “Yeah. You said that before. What I see is a guy who’s more than happy to spend time with me as long as it’s at my place only and as long as it involves sex. It’s like you want to keep everything tidy, just how you like it. That’s not how it works! If you want more than some passing fling, it might not always be convenient. You can’t have it both ways,” she said, hearing her tone and hating how bitter she sounded. “Why don’t you call me when you have some kind of clue?”
She didn’t wait for his answer, she was too afraid she would burst into tears in front of him. She slipped her shoes on, snatched her purse and ran out of the house. When she started to pull out of the driveway, she saw Jared standing on the porch. He’d followed her out, just as he had that rainy night when he’d kissed her the first time. Her vision blurred. She forced herself to drive away, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Chapter 16
Jared walked into Luke and Hannah’s kitchen and froze when he saw Susie sitting at the table. She held John in her lap and was making silly faces at him. John giggled. Susie’s throaty laugh made his heart clench. Her curls fell in a tumble around her shoulders. It had been three days and nights since she’d stormed out of his house. He’d tried calling her once, but when she hadn’t answered, he hadn’t tried again. He steeled himself to get through the next few minutes. He silently cursed Luke who could have told him Susie would be here.
Hannah looked up and smiled. If she had any idea what was going on with them, she hid it well. “Hey Jared! Come on in. Luke’ll be right down.”
“Hey Hannah, how’s it going?” he asked, striving to sound normal while his heart pounded so hard, he could hear every beat.
“Good. We had a busy morning with errands. Susie babysat for us,” Hannah replied, her eyes glancing Susie’s way.
Susie finally looked up. Her brown eyes met his, a tinge of defiance in them. Jared knew she was angry with him, but he was too confused about his own feelings to know what to do about hers.
Susie nodded tightly and smiled. Her eyes, usually so
warm, were guarded. “How are you?” she asked politely.
He nodded. “Fine,” he replied, not trusting himself to say more. He felt untethered. He’d been doing his damnedest to come to terms with the reality of how he felt about her. He’d finally started to get grounded and accept he was going to try to do the one thing he’d sworn off doing—have a romantic relationship. And then she’d blown it up in his face. He missed her on a visceral level. Seeing her…he just wanted to tug her to him and tell her to give him a chance to figure this out. But he couldn’t do that in front of Hannah, John gurgling on Susie’s lap and Luke about to walk in any minute. So he waited stiffly, his mind afire. Luke came downstairs moments later, and they headed for the harbor.
***
Late that afternoon after they returned a happy tourist family to the harbor with a cooler full of halibut, Jared climbed in his truck and drove to the police station. Before Susie had stormed out, he’d left Darren a message to call him. Jared was determined to find a way to track down the Tim who tried to rape Susie and hold him accountable. Darren had finally called him back today, apologizing for the delay because he’d been out of town.
Though Jared didn’t know what would happen with him and Susie, he wasn’t going to drop this. He strode into Darren’s office. Darren looked up from his computer and leaned back in his chair. “Hey man, how’s it going? Have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the chair across from his desk.
“Going okay. The usual busy season,” Jared replied as he sat down. “You?”
Darren chuckled and ran a hand through his sandy brown hair. “Same here. We’re ten times busier in the summer with the tourists. Last night, there was a hell of a party at Midnight Sun Lodges. We’re still processing everyone this morning. A crowd of underage drinkers who found our accommodations not quite as nice as their hotel.”
Jared shook his head. “You had to arrest them all?”
Darren rolled his eyes. “When the hotel refused to let them stay, it was the quickest option. College kids, most underage. Too much alcohol, some property damage and a few assaults. They’re all out now. But that’s not why you’re here. You said you needed some help. What’s up?”
Jared took a breath. “I have a hypothetical. That okay?”
At Darren’s nod, he continued. “What are the options for a woman who met a guy at a bar and woke up later, half out of it, with the guy crawling on top of her, trying to get her clothes off? She thinks she was drugged and managed to drive him off, but not without a few bruises.”
“This is just hypothetical?” Darren asked, his eyes concerned.
“I don’t have permission to tell you who. But it really happened a few years ago. All I have is a first name.”
Darren sighed. “I’d love to tell you there are options, but cases like that are a dime a dozen and damn hard to prosecute. Without good evidence, most prosecutors won’t touch ‘em with a ten foot pole.”
“Seriously? That’s bullshit. There have to be some options.”
Darren shrugged and shook his head slowly. “I wish I had a different answer. Cases like that happen all over the place every day. Ever since those undetectable date rape drugs started floating around, guys use ‘em like candy. Women don’t even know what happened, if anything. If women even come forward, prosecution is a nightmare. They’re memories are fuzzy, it’s ‘he said, she said.’ There’s your reasonable doubt right there. I’m not saying I agree. I’m just telling you how it is.”
Jared pictured Susie’s face the other night when she’d told him about it. Tense, embarrassed, anxious…and scared. He couldn’t keep the vision of what she told him out of his head. He heard her insisting she was fine. He believed she was, but he didn’t believe it was okay for some guy to do what he did and walk away, most likely to do the same thing with other women.
“So that’s it then?” Jared asked. “I’m not liking your answer.”
Darren met his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “I hate my answer because it’s crap. It’s not a fair situation for women, and the way things are right now, it’s damn difficult for these cases to go anywhere. In your hypothetical, with only a first name, our options shrink to almost zero. I’m damn sorry. Trust me, I am.”
Jared sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Okay, I hear you. For now, I won’t pound your door down.”
Darren chuckled. “I wouldn’t blame you if I did. I hear about those situations all the time. I just hope karma comes back around to bite those guys…hard.”
Jared stood to go. “You and me both. All right, man. Thanks for taking a few.”
As he drove away, his hand went to his phone. His instinct was to call Susie. But they were barely speaking. Jared whipped his truck into the parking lot at the post office and came to a quick stop. “Dammit!” he pounded his fist against the steering wheel. Darren’s answer pissed him off. His heart hurt at what Susie went through, and he was infuriated there was no recourse for her. He leaned his head against the steering wheel. He wanted to hear her voice. He missed their banter, her frisky texts, her warm brown eyes, her wild curls and lush little body. He missed her.
***
Susie was so focused on the report she was working on, she jumped when Emma said her name.
“I didn’t hear you come in!”
“Yeah, you seem really interested in whatever you’re working on,” Emma replied wryly.
She half sat on the edge of Susie’s desk. Emma’s resemblance to Hannah was still startling at times. She shared a similar tall, willowy build, dark hair and blue eyes. Her manner was more understated, and she was generally more measured in her responses. Susie chalked that up to her being a therapist.
Susie saved the report she was working on and closed her laptop. “Are you here to follow me over to the car place and fetch me for dinner?” she asked. Her car had needed a tune up and new tires, so she’d texted Hannah, Emma and Tess, hoping one of them would give her a ride home after she dropped her car off to pick up again tomorrow. They’d cajoled her into dinner at Sally’s.
Emma grinned. “Yup. I’m your taxi girl tonight. Ready?”
After Susie dropped her car off, she climbed into Emma’s truck and they headed to Sally’s. Susie glanced over at Emma. “You look great! How’s it feel now that it’s been a few weeks since that scare with Greg is finally over?”
Emma took a deep breath and smiled. “Better than I could have guessed. It’s such a relief.”
Susie leaned across the console between the seats and half-hugged Emma. “I’m so happy! And now you can relax and have fun with Trey,” she said with a grin, shifting back into her seat.
Emma blushed. Susie pushed on. “When are you just going to admit you love him and move in?”
“How about you let me figure that one out while you figure out what you’re going to do about Jared?” Emma countered, pulling into the parking lot at Sally’s.
Now Susie was blushing, but she kept her composure. “I’m working on it,” she said, hoping it wasn’t obvious that the mere mention of Jared stirred her up.
Emma glanced her way as they walked inside, but she didn’t comment further. Tess and Hannah had snagged a booth already. After dinner was ordered and drinks arrived, they toasted Emma and caught up.
Hannah was in the middle of a story about John’s antics on the boat this morning when the door swung open, and Jared walked in with Nathan. Susie looked to Tess immediately. “You didn’t tell me they were coming here,” she hissed across the table.
Tess shrugged. “Nathan doesn’t tell me everything. He and Jared were working on some boat repairs on the big boat today. He knew we were meeting here, he probably thought he’d surprise me. I doubt he thought he had to ask for my permission. You can’t avoid Jared forever,” she said pointedly.
Nathan and Jared had started to head their direction, but were sidetracked by a group of tourists, likely a group they’d hosted on a fishing trip. Susie watc
hed as one of the women in the group flirted shamelessly with Jared. It made her insides twist and her face hot.
Hannah caught her eyes. “Tess has a point. The other morning was not pretty,” she said, referencing the agonizing minutes when Jared had stopped by Hannah and Luke’s house and Susie was there. Susie had had to force herself to look at Jared. It physically pained her to see him, just as it did now. She knew she’d been a fool the other day when she’d torn through his house and basically pitched a fit. She felt stupid and embarrassed and missed him like crazy. But damn if she was going to be the one to make the first move. Even if she hadn’t handled it well, her feelings mattered. Jared hadn’t been letting her be a true part of his life. He kept her in a compartment that separated her from much of his life. If they were really going to try to do something other than have mind-blowing sex, he had to include her in his world as much as she included him in hers.
She met Hannah’s eyes defiantly. “Maybe it wasn’t pretty, but it’s up to him to reach out to me. If he thinks I’m going to pretend everything’s fine because it’s more comfortable for him, he underestimated me.”
“Maybe you could meet him halfway,” Emma said.
“I was meeting him halfway. He wasn’t returning the favor. It was like he only wanted me in his life as long as I was contained where he wanted me,” Susie countered. She was irritated and hurt. She wanted her friends to agree with her. She glanced toward Jared and Nathan. They were still occupied talking to the group. The flirty woman had shifted closer to Jared and was smiling up at him. Susie wanted to vomit. The last thing Jared needed was some simpering woman. You’re just jealous. If you don’t want Jared to notice anyone else, maybe you should do something about it.
Susie mentally swatted at her taunting thoughts. Jared was going to have to at least try to talk to her. Emma nudged her with her shoulder. “You’re staring.”