Honey & Love

by Jessica Pots

  “I promise you everything is going to go perfect tonight.” I kiss the tip of her nose and then her lips, taking the top one between my teeth and nibbling softly, savoring the scent which puffs from her mouth.

  It only tells me she’s been enjoying the mint crisps she promised she wouldn’t touch.

  She can’t lie about it.

  The same way her blues most of the time give up everything she’s thinking.

  Only today, right now, they’re veiled.

  And I can’t stand that.

  I pull her under the hot spray in a little dance, moving to the music which floats around in here. Everything feels so incredible. Our nipples touch. Our toes touch too. Our lips are locked in a never-ending kiss. It ends with a wet pop. And when it does, I back away with heavy eyelids and stare at the woman I intend to marry, if I can only get the words out…

  Honey remains silent, her lips searching for mine, eyes still closed.

  I find the loofah and soap her up, sinking into her curves, loving the paleness of her skin that’s so much like mine. We always joked in college that we were destined to be together because we mostly love the same things. But most importantly of all, we aren’t sunbathers. We’d need to buy an entire warehouse full of sunblock just to sit on the beach for an hour! Without it, we’d burn.

  Honey has always said that makes us special—made for each other—two of a kind. Soulmates.

  I breathe in the intoxicating scent that fills this shower stall and giggle at all the elves which decorate Honey’s shower cap keenly aware that an entire herd of reindeer adorn mine. These questionable shower caps were a Christmas present from my parents who visited us only a few days ago. They spent the day here with Honey and I, grilling us about our business plans as well as our intentions for the future as if we were teenagers who truly have no path in life.

  I understood their reservations about Crush.

  But, I hated their doubt even though they didn’t make it known aloud that they thought this business venture was a bad idea. I guess you could call it “parent’s caution.” And we appreciated that they were only looking out for us. But, we know what we’re doing…I think. After all, this-is-our-future.

  My parents will be at Crush later tonight.

  And so will Honey’s folks along with her sister.

  And our friends and assorted family members will also be there.

  The turn out tonight will be gargantuan and just the thought of it all makes me feel a little nauseous. The eyes of the entire world it feels like will be on us.

  Honey’s eyes pop open. “You’re just as worried as me.” She smiles, takes the loofah from my hands and begins to wash me. “You can’t hide it.” She presses a kiss to my shoulder.

  I crane my neck up to the bright light above us. “It would be crazy not to be scared.”

  Honey groans.

  I giggle.

  “But it’s never stopped us, Love, from doing anything that’s felt right.”

  “No.” I press my lips together and focus on the soapy swirl at our feet. “It hasn’t.” My body rocks back and forth with the motion of the loofah moving up and down my spine and over my shoulders. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” My mind drifts to-that-damn-ring… “We’ve never let fear stop us.”

  Otherwise we wouldn’t be doing what we’re currently doing.

  Taking a risk.

  Tossing all our chances up in the air and watching the wind take them in whatever direction it so chooses.

  “Honey…” My voice trails off when the scrubbing ceases.

  “Yeah.”

  I gather up my guts and prepare to ask the question that’s been burning me for far too long. Spinning around to face her, I almost get the words out but not before her mouth crushes to mine and I’m slow-walked into the tile behind me. I’m pressed against it, unable to breathe. An ugly whine leaves my mouth when Honey’s hand wraps around my breast and tweaks the nipple, teasing it, sending the sensation directly to my clit.

  I gasp.

  Eyes wide open.

  Mouth gaped.

  I reach for her, pull her close and knead my fingers into her skin. I dip down and draw her perked nipple into my mouth, tasting it, forcing it to reach for the sky. My thighs part a little more…just enough where Honey’s leg slips in between them. Heaving for breath, my body relaxes, and that knee is nudged higher and higher until it’s flush against my pussy.

  I clutch Honey’s neck, pull her close and slide my thigh in between hers loving the slick sensation of her pussy along my wet leg.

  The shower steams up even more.

  The music continues.

  We kiss and kiss and kiss and move in a dance, forcing each other to moan and sigh and utter unforgettable words, words I’ll never tire of hearing. The motion grows wild and frenzied. My cries bounce off the slick walls. Honey goes crazy, riding my thigh, dragging her clit along my already slicked skin. My knees rattle. My voice shakes. A harsh kiss is pressed into my mouth and an eager tongue explores, muffling the desperate sounds which threaten to escape me.

  I slump forward and bury my face in Honey’s neck, licking the water there, tasting her skin.

  “I love you.” Her baby blues freeze me in place.

  They force my heartrate to skyrocket. Almost rip it right out of my chest. My heart throbs. It should hurt. It should hurt so damn bad. But Honey holds it in her hands. As long as she holds it in her hands, I know it’s safe.

  It’s always going to be like this.

  So perfect.

  So hot.

  So us.

  A harsh wail leaves me.

  Then, I come, barely breathing.

  Good lord.

  honey

  LOVE SLUMPS AGAINST ME. “I love you more.” She presses a kiss to my cheek.

  I’m still panting, back still being beat to hell by the hot water.

  I kiss her lips once more, savoring how the bottom one wobbles and her eyes water.

  I could get lost in that look, forever.

  “Honey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” She pants away then swallows.

  With my brows bent painfully, I’m all ears.

  She drags her fingers over my cheek and smiles. “Do you love our lives together?”

  I hate that she’s even asking the question. “Of course.”

  A serene expression finds its place on her features. “Yeah, me too.”

  “I could never see myself with anyone else, Love.” My words are fierce, because I mean them, because I know I want to love no other, because I know now just like I’ve always known then that we belong together.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  She stands straighter, clears her throat and smiles. “Do you remember when we first met?”

  I laugh out loud at the lunacy of the same question she’s asked me like a billion times already today.

  Her features twist, offended.

  I hold a hand out, still barking away. “I’m sorry, Love, so sorry. But I don’t understand why—”

  “This is important, Honey.” Her greens flash then she laughs too.

  She edges closer, closer, giving me that look which tells me she’s about to let a speech rip.

  I get serious, quick, wondering what words await me.

  “Honey.” She takes my hand in hers.

  I wait, heart beating, confusion ripping its way through my brain, mouth completely dry.

  She swallows. “I—”

  DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.

  “You what?” My voice is low as I clutch her hand firmly.

  She purses her lips and looks away from me, then her gaze is back. She smiles. “Nothing.” She shakes her head, bringing my attention back to the reindeers which decorate her shower cap.

  Oddly, the moment is injected once again with a shared giggle.

  “It’s nothing.” She frowns.

  I’m desperate to know.

  DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.

  The doorbell goes ber
serk.

  DINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONG.

  I groan.

  Love swears under her breath.

  And what makes matters worse is that I have no idea now what time it is. By now, after all this time in this shower, we just might be running late.

  Love shuts off the water, steps out of the shower, grabs two towels and hands one to me.

  I step out of the stall. “Are you sure it’s nothing?” After accepting the towel, I wrap it around myself and linger for a second, feeling like something was just stolen from us.

  Time?

  Hope?

  A moment that can never be recovered?

  “Yes.” Love smiles but it’s not a real one. “It’s fine.”

  “Will you tell me later?”

  She pauses as if she’s thinking. “Yes, of course.” She leaves the bathroom.

  I stare at the floor, annoyed, realizing I’ll spend the rest of tonight wondering just what on earth she was about to say.

  Will she ever say what she was intending to?

  In the same way?

  With that same look?

  I glance at the clock on the wall, reminded of the promise I’d made to myself and decide that nothing is going to stand in my way of asking the woman I love to spend the rest of her life with me.

  Not even doomsday.

  five

  love

  THIS PLACE IS A WONDERLAND…

  Our wonderland.

  The lights are low. The performance is underway. The dance floor is packed.

  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

  The baseline goes through the floor, crawls up my legs and shakes my heart around a little.

  From the top floor, I observe all the action going on within Crush.

  It’s getting up to midnight.

  People are filled with champagne, including my parents, who are getting down on the dance floor. I press my hands together in prayer and bring them to my lips unable to believe how this had all come together.

  We’d concluded interviews.

  We’d confirmed press releases.

  We’d announced the grand opening of Crush to the world.

  I gaze out at the glittery disco ball which hangs from the ceiling. It turns just as the world does.

  The crowd erupts when the DJ makes her way to the stage. “Now come on, people! We’re on the countdown, to the new year…to new lives, to new chances, to new everything!” She dances around then starts spinning records old-school style.

  The crowd goes wild!

  I do a little shimmy too in my five-inch heels, exhausted yet energized, running on the fumes of my depleted reserves.

  The music swings back into beat.

  People dance.

  People drink.

  And Champagne Dream requests are through the roof.

  This place is jammed packed.

  Gemma lingers on the dance floor below, headset on her head and barking orders into the receiver near her mouth.

  I smile because I know that everything is under control.

  From where I stand, it’s clear that everyone here is having the time of their lives.

  But tomorrow they’ll surely be paying for it.

  I laugh a little to myself since as they say, “Joyful nights usually bring sorrowful days.”

  Emerging from the secluded spot, I stride over to the glass railing and look over the edge, searching for Honey. I press a hand to the middle of my chest where I had shoved the tiny jewelry box earlier, putting it there for safe keeping.

  I run my fingers over it.

  Desperate heart.

  Mouthful of words.

  Soul begging for its other half, it’s home.

  I spin away on a mission, but the second I make it to the curtain, fingers curl around my wrist.

  My eyes widen in the darkness, struggling a bit to see.

  Then Gemma’s big brown eyes edge closer. “The bartender is complaining because we’ve run out of Patron. The chef is up in arms because people are practically begging for onion quiche. A journalist and photographer from Chi-Town Nights are here and would like to take your picture. And Honey’s.” She grins.

  Another picture!

  She holds on to my arm. “And…”

  I don’t hear the rest of her words. With the mood I’m in Gemma might as well be speaking Slovak.

  Women dance around us, bumping into me, knocking into her, as they make their way to their chosen midnight spot.

  I glance at my watch.

  There’s less than twenty minutes left of the year.

  How will I choose to spend it?

  Dithering?

  Tripping over my words?

  Here with Gemma?

  I hardly think so…

  “Gemma.” I cup her face with my hands and smile. “I love you. We love you dearly. You are the total package for this job. I am assured you will find a way to make all these problems go away.”

  Gemma nods. “Okay, yes, but—”

  “But honestly, I don’t have time for this right now…” I let her startled face go.

  Her hand gets stuck in mid-air. “But—” Gemma is frozen, mouth gaped.

  “I’m really sorry, Gemma, but I really don’t have much time left and there’s something I must do.”

  More people crowd in.

  The music grows louder.

  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

  The baseline rattles the building.

  The crowd goes wild again. “Are you ready to bring in the new year, peoppppple!” The DJ jumps around on stage, does a back flip then returns to her turntable.

  Just wow.

  The stellar acrobatic move causes me to pause and hold on to the wall to make sure I don’t miss the show.

  Gemma surely knows how to book ‘em.

  Then, I’m moving again, maneuvering my way through the semi-darkness and wading through the sea of the inebriated and super happy crowd. I’m shuffling across the tile and then I find myself running…toward my future.

  honey

  THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME…

  There is no perfect place.

  There is only now.

  Please don’t wonder how and why I am using this bathroom…

  I guess I honestly just wanted to make sure they really work.

  And they do.

  I know that because I’ve flushed ten of them already, and so far, no explosions.

  Sitting on the closed toilet lid, I stare at the ring between my fingers. The one I should be ashamed I’m still holding and that is currently still not on the finger of the woman I love.

  Women amble into the bathroom giggling, speaking of their new year resolutions.

  I rise from the toilet lid, tuck the ring back in my clutch and exit the stall.

  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

  The music pounds through the floors.

  I wash my hands quickly, make my way around the crowd of women perched in front of the mirror who are reapplying their makeup and spritzing perfume on. I snatch a paper towel from the dispenser and dry my hands thinking that we definitely need to install blowers in here instead, so that we could stay green. It’s scribbled down on my mental checklist.

  Searching the depths of my clutch, I pull my lipstick out and reapply it.

  Red slicks my lips.

  So much red.

  Love’s suggestion, because, she of course loves the color.

  Smacking my lips together a few times, I decide it looks good.

  I eye over the glittery outfit I’m wearing and smile feeling beautiful and in party mode even though I’ll be doing anything but tonight. When I’m satisfied with my appearance, I head for the doors, snatch up a glass of champagne from one of the trays the waitresses are moving through the crowd with and knock it back.

  Immediately, I search for Love.

  My eyes scan the thick crowd of people. They dance. They scream. They slug back champagne like it’s water from the heavens.

  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

  “There
isn’t much time left, people. Let’s get this party staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarted!” The DJ goes crazy on the mic.

  The crowd erupts.

  Their cheers and stomps bounce off the walls.

  I steal a quick glance at my watch accepting that there’s only twelve minutes left until we’re into the next year. Until we start all over again. Until I’ve officially failed to keep my promise.

  My eyes dance over the nightclub.

  Inwardly, I growl and accept I don’t see her. I spin around and around in circles, searching.

  For my love.

  For my life.

  For my heart.

  I exhale a breath and then flinch when Gemma sidles up next to me.

  Before she can get a word out, I speak first. “Have you seen, Love?”

  She nods frantically. “Yeah, but I can’t tell you where she is now?”

  My hope crashes to the dance floor and then I’m back to searching again.

  “I do need you to tell me what to do about the onion quiche people are asking for though?” Her brows arch, eyes go big and wide. “I did try to get Love to give me some direction, but she said there was something she had to do…”

  With my brows knotted, I run those words over and over in my head and look around more.

  I step away from Gemma.

  She touches my arm, halting me.

  “Oh, sorry.” I shake my head. “I guess if the people want goat, Gemma. Please tell the chef to roast a goat.”

  “A goat?” Her voice trails off when I step away.

  “I said quiche…I said onion quiche. My question was about onion quiche.”

  I shoulder through the crowd and then I see her.

  So beautiful beneath the red, white, green, purple and pink flashing lights.

  She glitters. She shines. She glows.

  We meet eyes.

  I walk.

  She does the same.

  We meet each other in the middle.

  Reaching out, I take her hand and press a kiss to her lips. “I’ve been searching for you…”

  My entire life…

  “I’m right here.” She grins, pouting her red, red lips.

  I open my mouth to say more.

  Love holds a hand up.

  My spirit deflates.