Until You: A Malsum Pass Novel

by Forrest, Kimberly

  She felt Sebastian’s arms come around her and pull her into his chest before he sat down on the ground with her in his arms. He was rocking her; his hands rubbing over her back and smoothing her hair as he kissed the top of her head. He whispered close to her ear, “I apologized because in my haste to make love to you I took you on the floor with little consideration for your comfort. I apologized because I wanted you so badly that I didn’t give your body the full attention it deserved.” He kissed her ear and then continued, “As for what I said was foolish and would never happen again was that I didn’t take any precautions to safeguard you against pregnancy. That was my responsibility and I failed you. That is why I’m sorry.”

  He moved his hands to her upper arms and gently pushed her back so that he could look into her eyes; his shown with sincerity and her heart kicked in her chest. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “And now I am sorry that for even one second you believed that I didn’t want you. I am honored and humbled that you gifted me with your first time. Making love to you was incredible. Please believe me when I say that I definitely want to do it again – many, many times – and show you how much better it can be.”

  Susan sniffled wishing for a tissue and released a ragged breath before she smiled. How was it that this man always seemed to catch her at her worst? First he got to witness her sick and gross with mucous and now exhausted and blubbering yet he never looked like he found her any less attractive because of it. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but she bit her lip and kept silent. She recalled that she had told Sebastian yesterday during their fight that she had always loved him and she hadn’t missed the fact that today he had assured her that he wanted her, but he hadn’t said he loved her. However, the words he had said were definitely a good start. Hope bloomed in her chest and she didn’t even try to quell it. She could be patient.

  She reached up and cupped his prickly cheeks. “I forgive you,” she said with a grin. “And I highly doubt I’m pregnant.” She added reassuringly.

  Sebastian frowned and looked down at her belly before he grunted. “I know some people believe you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex, but you know that’s an old wives’ tale, right?” He rushed to continue before she could speak. “You should know that if you are, I wouldn’t be upset. I’d welcome a baby and take such good care of you, Bug.”

  He was so sweet that Susan almost started bawling again. She could even forgive him his persistence in calling her that annoying name. She cleared her throat and felt her cheeks heat at having to disclose such personal details, but she didn’t want him worrying. “My period had just ended a few days before, Sebastian so I’m sure we’re fine.”

  He frowned again and looked down at her belly. Did he want her to be pregnant? She kept the question to herself as he grunted and said, “We won’t be one hundred percent sure until you actually get your period.” He pulled her back into his chest and she laid her head on his shoulder. He was such a stubborn male but he was her male. She smiled.

  She stayed in his lap for some time, content as he stroked her hair and back. She was so comfortable she almost dozed off until he said, “I’d like to take your father up on his offer to use his guest room if that’s okay with you. Please be honest if you would rather I not. You don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings.”

  She smiled again and she was sure he could feel it against his shoulder. “I think it would be rather nice sharing a roof with you. Especially when you’ve promised to show me how much better you can be with a bed.” Her cheeks heated at her own boldness. She wasn’t usually so forward. She felt the vibration as Sebastian’s chest rumbled and the sudden movement under her backside from his erection. She couldn’t help but give a little wiggle as she grinned.

  “Don’t tease,” he grumbled, “or I will carry you to the nearest dark corner and once again disgrace myself with impatience.” He easily lifted her off his lap and set her gently on the bench before he kissed her nose. She wanted him to kiss her mouth but she understood his need for control considering they were in such a public place. People were entering and exiting the building not to mention the full view the occupants of the hospital had from the bank of windows. Later she would have him all to herself. The thought made her practically giddy and she nearly laughed out loud.

  Her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly and Sebastian’s attention was once again on her belly. “Let’s get you fed.” He rumbled and offered a hand to help her to her feet.

  Sebastian suggested going to one of the restaurants in town but Susan preferred the small cafeteria right now. If her father needed her, she wanted to be close. The selection was limited, but she decided on a cinnamon roll topped with cream cheese icing while Sebastian selected a blueberry muffin. They chose a table close to the windows and Susan contemplated the man across from her. “Do you plan to meet with Nancy about your house?” She asked carefully.

  Sebastian sipped his fountain soda from a straw and nodded. “I do.”

  Susan took a bite of her roll and licked the excess icing from her lips. She used the time to contemplate the wording of her next question. Sebastian had been rather prickly any time she mentioned his family. Her father’s firm had tried to contact him and he hadn’t bothered with a response or seemed interested in returning. “What changed your mind?”

  He shrugged, tore the top off his muffin, and popped a piece in his mouth before he said “I’m here anyway so I might as well deal with it, and even though I haven’t yet been out to see the ranch, I’m pretty sure my parents would prefer it not sit there empty.” His expression turned sad. “I wish they were here.”

  Susan nodded, reached out her hand to grip one of his. “You know that one word from you and they would return.”

  He grimaced but nodded. “From as far back as I can remember they talked of travelling the world, it was their dream and I won’t interrupt it. I’ll see them when they return.”

  Susan’s chest blossomed with hope. “So you think you might stay then?” She asked, trying to sound casual, as if his answer didn’t hold the key to their future.

  She couldn’t decipher his look as he stared into her eyes for a moment before he sighed. “For now.”

  Susan’s bubble of joy deflated a bit and she turned her attention to her breakfast. What a thoroughly aggravating response. She mentally squared her shoulders; she would just have to make him want to stay. It would be easy… right?

  Sebastian watched Susan as she picked at her cinnamon roll with her free hand. She had such an expressive face and right now he could see that something he had said had disappointed her but he was happy she hadn’t pulled away. He liked holding her hand, so much smaller than his own. He fully intended to see to his duty regarding the ranch, but there were too many other variables that needed to be considered. Christian was still here, and even though he had no idea where Mary Beth was at the moment, this was still her home town as well. Could he stay in such close proximity to the two people who had hurt him so badly? He needed to have the whole picture before he could make a decision.

  His mind wandered back to her tear streaked face as she sat before him on the bench and he grimaced. He couldn’t believe that she had actually thought he wasn’t interested in her and never wanted to make love to her again. Thinking back on his apology so clumsily issued after they had had sex he realized he hadn’t actually been clear. He had thought the need for his apology had been obvious and required no further clarification, but apparently he had thought wrong. Of course it had been over ten years since he’d actually been in a relationship with a woman and he had to admit he was more than a little rusty when it came to dealing with the intricacies of the female mind. It bothered him that she had thought he had rejected her, yet at the same time, it had been such a relief to know that she hadn’t rejected him. He absently stroked her knuckles with his thumb.

  For the next few days he would be staying in the same house as Susan and he would do his best t
o make it up to her. He would like to stay in the same room, but he wouldn’t push his luck; which reminded him that he would need to get to a store and buy condoms.

  He must have made a noise because Susan was suddenly looking at him with concern, “What is it?” she asked.

  Sebastian took another sip of his soda thinking it probably wasn’t the best idea to tell her that he was busy planning the next time he could get her into bed. “I was just thinking I need to pick up my stuff from The Lodge and stop at a store.” He hedged.

  She nodded, extracted her fingers from his, and stood up. He felt the loss immediately. “Let me just go check on my dad and see what’s going on.”

  He stood as well and picked up their tray with the remnants of their breakfast to dispose of it when he scented felines. He quickly put the tray down and put his body in front of Susan’s, taking an aggressive stance, ready to protect her. “Felines,” he whispered when she tried to move around him.

  He saw the couple as they entered the cafeteria; the female was heavily pregnant and he doubted her male would endanger her, but he still kept a wary eye as they took a seat.

  Susan tugged on his arm and stood on tiptoe to try and reach his ear. He bent down to her level since she barely reached his shoulder. “I forgot you didn’t know,” she whispered. “They established a truce.”

  Sebastian kept his eye on the cats and noticed that the male sniffed the air before turning his attention their way. He looked worried as he placed his body in front of the female, ready to protect his family.

  Sebastian relaxed his stance and nodded at the feline to let him know they were in no danger from him. He once again grabbed the tray and took Susan’s arm to escort her out.

  As they walked back to her father’s room Susan told him about the truce and about the change in leadership in the pride. Sebastian grunted. “You still need to be wary, just because one psychopath was eliminated, that doesn’t mean there aren’t more. We also still need to find out if that feline in Malsum Pass was there for you. If he was, he may not have gotten the memo that the war is over.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  When they’d returned to her father’s room, Susan found that he was once again asleep, though she was happy to see his color was much improved. Was it the food that brought out the touch of pink in her father’s cheeks or had the knowledge of Sebastian’s return lifted a weight from his shoulders? Regardless of the cause, it was a great relief to see. She left a message at the nurse’s station that she would return later and to call her if there were any problems.

  After they picked up Sebastian’s things at The Lodge and settled his bill, they made a quick stop at a store before turning to head to her father’s house. Susan kept stealing glances at the plastic shopping bag Sebastian had placed between his feet. He had picked up a few toiletries that he hadn’t packed such as a brush and razors, but he had also purchased two boxes of condoms and her tummy was a riot of butterflies. It was one thing to succumb to the passion of the moment and just follow Sebastian’s lead, but it was another thing entirely to plan it. Would he expect her to make the first move? Was she supposed to wear sexy lingerie and await him in her bed? Did he expect to have a conversation about it first and discuss positions and the like? Just the thought made her palms sweat. Considering she’d been a virgin just the day before she had absolutely no idea what was expected of her. Aside from romance novels and movies, she had little information to go on but right at this moment she could definitely say she was more a fan of spontaneity.

  “Where are we going?” Sebastian asked breaking into her chaotic thoughts and she realized that he didn’t know that they had moved into a new home.

  She glanced at him before returning her attention to the road. Talking about the house was much less stressful than worrying over the night’s agenda. “Not long after you left my father had a new house built. He wanted something with more privacy and land to roam so he commissioned a place out on Tenaya Trail.”

  Susan wondered if he would like it. The house was modern in design, far different from his rustic shack or Riley Cooper’s A-frame cabin in Malsum Pass. The views were natural with lots of trees and rocks though the grass would be brown now. The interior was also ultra-modern with every convenience her father could install. It was spacious though with an open floor plan and high ceilings she could see someone of Sebastian’s size appreciating.

  When they arrived and she gave him a tour she noticed he kept nodding his head, a thoughtful look on his face as he looked around as if he was taking mental notes. When she asked him about it, he said, “If I decide to design a new place back in Malsum Pass, I’d like to have some ideas before going into it.”

  Susan closed her eyes briefly in disappointment. He had just arrived and he was already eager to be gone. Up and down with her hopes; this emotional rollercoaster was exhausting. In fact, just then a yawn broke free.

  Sebastian looked at her with concern. “Have you slept at all?”

  She shrugged. “I hate flying so I’ve never been able to relax enough on a plane to actually sleep and when I got in I went straight to the hospital. I napped a bit.”

  The last word was barely out of her mouth when Sebastian scooped her up in his arms and headed for the stairs. “You need rest.” He grunted. “I’ll hold you and we’ll sleep.”

  Susan thought it sounded like heaven. When they reached the top of the stairs she was about to tell him which room was hers, but he inhaled through his nose and headed straight for it. Bear noses were an amazing thing.

  She bit her lip nervously when he opened the door. Her room was extremely feminine and she wondered if it would threaten his masculinity. Some men were odd that way, as though being exposed to pastels would lower their testosterone. Her walls, carpet, bedding, and drapes were all cream colored, but all around the room were pink accents: pink throw pillows, pink tie backs at the window, a pink vase on the night stand, and a watercolor painting of pink irises. Sebastian surprised her however when he didn’t even bat an eye as he laid her down on her bed and removed her shoes before he sat next to her to remove his own. He then lay down beside her and pulled her into his arms so he was spooning her, her head pillowed on his bicep and his chin resting on top of her head. She felt surrounded by his scent and warmth. Another yawn escaped her and he kissed the top of her head. He whispered, “Sleep, I’ll watch over you.”

  Blissfully warm and content, Susan immediately fell asleep only to jerk awake suddenly bleary eyed and disoriented. Her head snapped around to see Sebastian – still tightly pressed along her back – hand over her cell phone which was blasting the theme song from Doctor Who. The dim light coming in through her windows showed it was just past sunset and she’d slept much longer than she intended. She scrubbed her hand over her face and cleared her throat before accepting the call.

  Her dad’s voice on the other end sounded strong and cheerful and Susan breathed a sigh of relief as he told her that he would be discharged in the morning as planned and that Jack would be bringing him home.

  “Have you eaten dinner yet, Dad? I can bring you something if you’d rather not have hospital food.” Susan asked.

  “No, no, I’m fine. Is he there with you? Has he decided to stay?” Her father asked.

  Susan had no trouble figuring out who the he was. She had forgotten that her father hadn’t been made aware that he had a house guest. “He is here. He decided to take you up on your offer after all.”

  “Splendid!” He said, sounding positively delighted. “Why don’t you and Sebastian go out and have a nice dinner tonight. Or you could make him something. Men love a woman who can cook so you should show him how skilled you are in the kitchen.”

  Susan’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. Was her father matchmaking? Now that she thought about it, it had been her father’s suggestion for her to go to Vermont for protection during the war when in reality she had several friends from college she could have stayed with that were much closer but still far enough
away to provide safety. She hadn’t questioned it at the time because she had seen it as an opportunity to reconnect with Sebastian and she had wanted to see him so badly. Had her father also been using it as an excuse to play Cupid?

  She glanced at Sebastian who was now sitting on the edge of her bed thumbing through her latest edition of People magazine. “I’ll see what he would prefer.” She said before changing the subject. “Are you sure you’ll be all right by yourself? I can bring you some books or a deck of cards and we can play gin.”

  “Jack and Nancy are both here and we’re going over some files,” her father began and she interrupted him with a groan so he continued louder. “So you two go out and have a nice night. I don’t want to see you until I get home tomorrow. Are we clear young lady?” He finished with mock severity.

  Susan sighed. “Fine,” she grumbled, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Her father chuckled. “I love you, Pumpkin, have a good night.”

  Susan smiled. “I love you too, Dad. Don’t stay up all night working.”

  “I won’t.” He replied even though Susan knew better; her father was a workaholic.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said and he repeated it before she disconnected the call.

  “Is everything okay with your father?” Sebastian asked, placing the magazine back on her nightstand.

  She nodded, distracted. She had been too tired before to fully appreciate the fact that this man was actually in her bedroom, had slept beside her on her bed. How many times had she dreamed of this? And now, finally presented with reality she had no idea what to do. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her palms started to sweat while crazy, drunken butterflies danced the mambo in her stomach; she almost leapt out of the bed. Her clothes were even more wrinkled now and her hair was probably full of knots so she jumped on that excuse. “Ah, I really need a shower, but how about after we’re both cleaned up we go get something to eat?”