On His Honor

by Jean Brashear

  The bait was out there, should he want to take it. Sage was thoroughly amoral, and she also had the sex drive of any five women.

  It would be like having sex with a crocodile, though…any second, those jaws could snap you in half. He pulled out the stops on whatever bravado he could muster. “I’ve never found anyone to replace you.” He summoned his own smile. “And God knows I’ve tried.”

  “I seldom revisit lovers.”

  A pause ripe with an invitation to flattery he’d better not discount.

  “You sure?” He put just a tad of pleading into his voice and thanked every acting class he’d ever taken.

  Her expression was a mingle of contempt and pity. “I break a lot of rules, but never that one.”

  It wasn’t hard to sigh convincingly, even if the sigh owed more to the relief of a man seeing the specter of pardon when he was one step from the gallows.

  Then he added the coup de grâce of humility. “I’m not absolutely sure what I touched in the warehouse. How bad is that going to be?”

  “I’ll send someone to clean it up.” She turned to leave, then paused. “Don’t doubt me again, Avery.”

  He swallowed his pride. “I won’t.”

  “It’s been a long night,” she said. “I’m tired.”

  “You go on home and get some sleep. I’ll handle things here.”

  “You sure? You haven’t slept, either.”

  “I might go for a massage once the crew shows up,” he said, thinking fast. “But for now, I’ll catch a nap on my couch until Leslie and the crew get here.”

  “Maybe you can take the night off once I return.”

  “Sounds inviting, but you take your time.” As if he was going to hang around after this. He’d wait until their manager, Leslie, arrived, then make some excuse to run an errand.

  The errand would be getting everything lined up so that if things went south again, he could escape at the first opportunity.

  * * *

  WHEN JD'S PHONE RANG AGAIN, Violet went still in his arms, and he cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’m the one on vacation, not you, I know that.” Her smile was both brave and sad. “Want me to fix you some breakfast while you shower? What time do you have class?”

  Inwardly, he swore again. He wanted to come clean with her so bad. “I have to be there by nine. Unless—” He made a face. “That call was about work.”

  “Another consultation?” She rose and extended a hand to him.

  The trusting gesture made him feel even more of a scum. “Something like that.” As he followed her inside, in his mind he tried out and discarded every half explanation he could think of, searching for a means to both honor his duty to the job and still do right by a woman who had her delicate fingers wrapped firmly around his heart.

  He picked up his cell where he’d left it on the counter and listened to the voice mail Doc had left. Candy has turned up. She’ll only talk to you. Need you ASAP.

  Crap. He’d never wanted more to toss his phone out the window and pretend he hadn’t received the message. But Candy could break the entire case. “I’m sorry,” he was saying as he turned toward Violet. “I have to—what is it?”

  She was looking at her own cell. “It’s Avery. He sounds frantic, and he wants me to call him immediately.” She smiled past her worry. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “I can’t hang around for breakfast. They need me there right away.” Another instructor is out sick, he was going to say to explain, but the lie stuck in his throat.

  “I understand. I should call Avery back, anyway. I’ll just…you go ahead and shower, and I’ll see what he wants. This is very early for him to be calling.”

  He didn’t want to move out of hearing. And at the same time he wished he could warn her, Don’t—don’t call him back. He’s a lying piece of shit. He didn’t want her anywhere near Avery Lofton. Maybe Doc was right, and Lofton hadn’t killed the guy in Houston, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat to Violet simply because of the company he kept.

  Like it or not—and increasingly he didn’t—his job was to learn what Lofton would tell her.

  “Go ahead. I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee. Least I can do before I take you back to Sophie’s.” Where, of course, there would be perfectly good coffee waiting for her.

  But she didn’t point that out, only nodded and punched a button to call Lofton. “Oh! The kitten—” As she waited, she pointed to the porch.

  Hell. He’d completely forgotten the cat. He nodded and headed onto the porch, leaving the door between them cracked. He’d have to make arrangements with his neighbor next door about the cat. The kitten had probably just wandered off from a home nearby, but he didn’t have time to canvass the neighborhood to find her owner. If his neighbor couldn’t come right away, he could put the kitten in his utility room with food and water—the lack of a litter box wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t like she could do that much damage before his neighbor could come get the cat with the key he’d given her a while back.

  “Avery?” he heard Violet say. “What’s up? Are you all right?”

  He picked up the kitten and petted her while he stayed out of sight.

  “I don’t know exactly when I’m leaving Austin.” Her tone held a tinge of hurt. “What, are you ready to get rid of me?” Her jocularity was forced. “I guess…in a day or two, probably.” She sighed. “My assistant is getting restless, as is my agent. Work is stacking up, and rehearsals begin sooner than I want to think about. I’d like to see you before you go, though. Let me buy you dinner to thank you for everything. Do you have a free hour or two?”

  No. Stay away from him, Violet.

  “That would be great. Call me back, and we’ll set a time.” Violet disconnected but remained still, staring off into space.

  JD grabbed the kitten’s dish and walked inside holding both. “Everything okay?”

  She frowned. “I don’t think so. He sounds almost…scared. Definitely worried. It’s not like him to keep his concerns from me. We tell each other everything.”

  Not everything, sweetheart. “You said he seemed overworked. Maybe he just needs to get away.”

  “Maybe.” She sounded doubtful. “But I’ll find out when I see him.”

  “No!” He hadn’t meant to bark it out like that, but the threat to her chilled him.

  She frowned. “What do you mean, no?”

  “Sorry.” But he wasn’t, really. He had to proceed carefully, however. “It’s just that I’d prefer it if you’d wait until I could go with you.”

  She blinked. “Why on earth would you say such a thing?”

  He made his decision. If Doc was upset, so be it, but no way could JD risk Violet putting herself in harm’s way because she didn’t know what was going on.

  “Look…I’m not sure how to say this, but there are…rumors about Danger Zone.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He exhaled and raked his fingers through his hair. “I know he’s your friend, but there have been reports of criminal activity in connection with the club.”

  “Avery would never be part of something criminal.”

  If you only knew… . But he wanted to go gentle on her. “Are you so sure?”

  Her eyes flashed. “I know him as well as I know myself.”

  “I don’t think you do.”

  “Tell me exactly what you’re implying. There has to be some sort of misunderstanding. I’ll ask him and he can explain everything.”

  “No. Absolutely not.”

  She bristled visibly, and he forced himself to speak calmly. This was surely a shock to her. “Violet, you can’t say one word to him about this. There’s an investigation—”

 
“An investigation?” she echoed. “Of my best friend? How long have you known this? Why didn’t you say anything?” She reached for her phone. “You’re wrong—he would be horrified that anyone could think he’d ever be a part of something illegal. He deserves a chance to defend himself.”

  “You can’t.” He snatched her phone out of her hand. “I shouldn’t be revealing even this much to you. The only reason I said anything is that you’re not safe around him. There are…things going on right now, serious things. People could get killed. You can’t say a word to him.”

  She stared at him. “Does this mean…” Her expression was dawning horror. “Are you saying you’re involved?”

  He hesitated too long.

  “No.” Her face lost all color. “You are, aren’t you?” She took a step back from him, her hand rising to her throat. “You— That’s why you spent time with me? Why you…”

  “No—that’s not it. You have to believe me.” He closed the gap between them.

  “You’re a cop.” Never had those words sounded more like a curse to him. “But…you said you taught at the Academy.”

  “I do…occasionally.”

  “But that’s not why you’re with me. I was only a means…”

  “That has nothing to do with why why we’re here, you and me. I mean, yes, the task force was looking into Avery, so when Sophie asked me—”

  Her beautiful eyes went dark with pain.

  “Violet, it’s not what you think. I didn’t—you have to let me explain.” He reached for her.

  “No!” She yanked her arm from his grip. “Don’t touch me!” She crossed her arms over her middle. “I…I trusted you. You knew what I’d been through. Knew how hard it was for me—” She doubled over.

  “It wasn’t a lie, Violet, what grew between us. I—I’ve never felt about a woman like I—”

  “Stop!” Her face was white as parchment now. “Don’t say another word. When I think of how we— And how I thought…” Tears rolled down her pinched white cheeks, and he wanted so badly to hold her, to protect her—

  His goddamn phone rang again. “Shit!” There was no way he could avoid answering again. “Violet, please…just give me a second. Please…I have to explain to you.” He held his phone but didn’t answer. He took a step toward her and nearly landed on the kitten, who screeched.

  “Answer your phone,” she said, in the coldest voice he’d ever heard. “I have nothing to say to you. We’re done.” She bent and scooped up the kitten, then ran unsteadily up the stairs.

  “Violet—” The phone started up again. “Goddamn it, what?” he barked into it.

  “I don’t care what the hell you’re doing, you’d better be on your way here, JD,” Doc said in a voice nearly as cold as Violet’s. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

  “Violet knows.”

  “What?” The quieter Doc’s voice got, the more dangerous things were. “How the hell did that happen?”

  “Look, call me on the carpet later. Right now, I have to keep her from calling Lofton.”

  Doc cursed vividly. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to finish the conversation you interrupted.”

  “Make it fast. I need you here to talk to Candy. She may be able to tell us where to find Hector. We can bring Violet to the station, if necessary.”

  “Oh, yeah. That’ll go over great.”

  “If you can’t control her, I will.”

  “Screw that. You leave her alone.”

  “Are you threatening me, JD?”

  He didn’t care that he was bordering on irrational. All he could see was the devastation on Violet’s face. With great effort, he brought himself under control. “I just…she doesn’t deserve how this hurts her, Doc.”

  “That can’t be our priority right now. You know that.”

  “Yeah.” But it didn’t make his heart ache any less. “Can you keep Candy under wraps a little longer?”

  “I guess I’ll have to.”

  “You’ve got a tail on Lofton, right? I think he’s getting shaky.”

  “Any more good news for me? You’re going to explain to me at some point exactly how my best undercover agent got outed, right? And it better be more convincing than just sex fogged your brain.”

  “Don’t talk about her like that,” he snapped.

  “Don’t act like you’ve forgotten who you are. What your job is.”

  Violet was so much more than a job, but he couldn’t begin to make Doc understand, not if he had hours. He didn’t understand himself exactly how, in the space of a couple of days, he’d lost an edge that he’d spent years honing. But now wasn’t the time.

  Suddenly he felt old and weary. And what he’d lost…he couldn’t think of it. He had to focus solely on keeping Violet safe.

  “I want to hear back from you in an hour or less. Preferably less.”

  “I’ll do my best.” He looked up the stairs, wondering how in the hell he was going to convince Violet to trust him and not Lofton after what he’d seen on her face.

  Then he remembered the kitten. Much as it grated to have to detour like this, he’d better make arrangements for the cat before he talked to Violet so that nothing got in the way, however this worked out. He made a quick call to his neighbor, then jammed his phone in his pocket and started climbing the stairs.

  * * *

  VIOLET DISCONNECTED HER PHONE after calling the taxi. An unnatural calm seized her, the calm of someone who can’t bear to think about what she’d lost.

  But she hadn’t lost anything, really, had she? What she’d thought was between her and JD had never actually existed.

  What was wrong with her? Didn’t she know better?

  ’Cause you’re a romantic…the world needs more romantics.

  Not anymore. She was done with that. Her heart was empty now, a dry, dusty chamber littered with the ashes of a faith and an optimism that once was second nature. She’d always believed—even after Barry, she realized—something in her had clung to a hope that out there in the world, love still waited for her.

  But not now. She glanced at the bed, was immediately bombarded by memories of the fun, the sighs, the bliss—

  No. She couldn’t bear thinking of it. Only a few short days, but those days had burned so brightly. Succored her, sustained her…

  Gone. All gone. The man she’d thought had genuinely cared for her, the real her, not the fantasy woman millions adored…he was a mirage, the cruelest of illusions. There was something wrong with her.

  She’d wanted to believe she could have the dream, that true love could still be hers, that she’d found the man…

  But not anymore.

  Footsteps sounded on the stairs. No. She couldn’t be with him in this room again. Swiftly she grabbed the bag she’d thrown her belongings into after dressing in haste. No makeup, hair scraped back in a ponytail—what did it matter what she looked like?

  But suddenly she wanted her makeup. Longed for the safety of her protective coloring, the careful disguise her glamour gave her.

  Patience. In a few minutes you’ll be gone, and you’ll never have to see him again.

  She scooped up the kitten and fairly raced down the stairs.

  He caught her halfway, but she thrust the kitten at him.

  And ran.

  “Violet!” He charged after her, grabbed her before she made it to the front door.

  She quivered in his grasp, then, piece by piece, she rebuilt herself. “Let go of me,” she said tonelessly without turning.

  He complied, but he didn’t move away. “I never expected to care for you.”

  I am Violet James, she told herself. I am on top of the world, don’t you know? I don’
t need you. The words would be her shield, deflecting the pain.

  “You know how much I hated deceiving you?”

  Her head swiveled so fast it dizzied her. “Why? You’re so good at it.” He looked awful. She tried to derive satisfaction from that, but it slithered from her grasp. With effort, she straightened. Silently wished him to hell. “You were only doing your job, right?”

  “What happened between us was no job, Violet. You felt it, too.”

  “I feel nothing.” I won’t let myself. Or it will kill me.

  He gripped her arm.

  She turned to ice in his grasp, staring straight ahead.

  He swore, and there was despair in his tone. He released her.

  She couldn’t care. He hadn’t.

  “It’s your right to hate me. Just know that you can’t possibly despise me more than I despise myself.”

  “I won’t think of you at all.”

  “Well, that’s too damn bad. I’ll think of you every minute. Every second. And I’ll know I had a chance at something special, but I lost it—because I was doing my job, damn it. That’s what I do, I protect the innocent by bringing down those who would prey on them, like your buddy Avery. Do you realize what kind of evil he’s part of?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t need to, because you’re wrong about him.”

  “Well, you’re going to hear it, anyway.” He moved in front of her, six feet of angry, miserable male. “Because I won’t let you put yourself in danger.”

  “You aren’t in control.”

  A bitter laugh. “You’re telling me. I’ve been walking a tightrope, knowing every minute that no matter which way I fell, someone was going to get hurt.” He leaned closer. “But I had no choice because people were dying. They still are.”

  Her gaze whipped to his.

  “Yeah. Your pal is involved in a very nasty enterprise, the business of human trafficking. You know what sexual slavery is, Miz James? You understand about women and children being hauled halfway across the world in the hold of a ship, then jammed in the back of trailers and vans for hours in filthy conditions, with scarce water and little food—because they dream of coming to America where gold paves the streets? Only there’s a catch. The guys who truck them like cattle then turn around and claim that the women and children owe bills for their transport, bills they can only work off by being sold as prostitutes or sweatshop labor—and they’ll never be allowed to work off that debt. Some of them die before they ever make it.”