A Light in the Dark

by Becky Doughty

  Once we were settled in, he returned the plastic bin and a few other items to his trunk. But he took his time, the car shifting a little as he seemed to be rearranging things just out of sight behind the raised trunk lid.

  “Rats,” I muttered, trying to angle my head so I could see him in the side view mirror out my window. “I was going to look in his trunk when he put that stuff away. I totally forgot.”

  And then he was climbing into the driver’s seat beside me, a fresh shirt on, his arms damp as though he’d just washed them, and the strong, alcoholic smell of hand sanitizer sweeping into the car with him. Without saying a word, he handed each of us a travel-sized bottle of the stuff, which we used liberally. We sat in silence for several moments, staring out the front windshield into the oleander hedge that bordered the parking lot. I was sure none of us were seeing the pink floral sprays and narrow leaves of the plants, but the wretched man we’d left in a ditch in the loving care of his dog.

  Silent tears slipped from my eyes, trailing down my cheeks to drip onto my hands in my lap. Now that the emergency had passed, the adrenaline quickly drained from my system, and I felt a little boneless. I didn’t dare look at Ani, but I knew my friend. If I was crying, she was probably curled into a fetal position in the back seat, chewing on her arm, and I was too emptied out to be able to offer her any comfort. Sebastian reached over and took my clenched fist, his large hand wrapping all the way around the tight ball mine formed, but he didn’t embarrass me by acknowledging my tears in any other way.

  Finally he spoke. “I don’t even know how to begin to thank you both for what you just did.” He gripped the steering wheel with his free hand. After another few moments of musing, he continued. “Foster is a good man and it kills me to see him this way. I’m glad you were here to help me with him.”

  Ani reached up from the back seat and put her hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.

  “And we’re glad you showed up, too, Sebastian,” I said, my voice tight. I couldn’t imagine what we would have done without him. “I just wish there was more we could do for Foster. It doesn’t seem like we did enough to help him.”

  Sebastian pulled out of the parking lot. I peered out my window back in the direction we’d come, but the park looked abandoned to its peaceful slumber. “You did more than you can imagine for him, Ani. Both of you. And listen. If Foster really wants help, and I’m not around, he knows where to go to get it.” He spoke quietly, almost resignedly. “He’ll do what he thinks is best, and hopefully, that will be enough. The guy knows his way around Midtown better than any of us, and he has Pete.” He shot me a curious look, almost like he couldn’t decide if he should expound more or not. I knew we’d done more than most would have for a sorta-smelly, injured homeless man and his dog, but we were now headed off to our hot showers and comfortable beds, and the rift between our worlds grew wider with each bend in the road.

  “You almost make it sound like he’s okay with the way he’s living,” Ani spoke from the back seat.

  Sebastian lifted his gaze to the rear view window to look at her before answering. “A lot of people aren’t necessarily okay with the way they’re living, but they get by, knowing they’re doing the best they can with what they have.” He spoke the rebuke gently, but a rebuke it was, nonetheless. I could tell he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but his words were hard to hear, especially for people like me and Ani, who had everything we needed and wanted, and options galore ahead of us.

  I watched him from the corner of my eye, his driving smooth, careful, and attentive. It was after nine PM, full-on dark, so even though his face lit up under every street lamp we drove by, his expression was hard to read. But I could tell he had drifted away to somewhere else in his mind.

  It dawned on me then, that Ani and I had told him all about us, about our friendship, our families, and our future hopes and dreams, and he’d told us nothing about himself.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  By the time we turned onto our street only a few blocks away, I’d recovered my composure somewhat. I now felt a strange sense of euphoria in the aftermath of the events of the night, even though it was at odds with the worry and helplessness that pulsed through me when I thought of what we’d left behind us in the dark. Maybe I was just talking myself into believing that Foster would sleep comfortably tonight, that he would wake up feeling refreshed in the morning, eat a hearty breakfast courtesy of Mom’s cooking and the disposable ice chest I planned to stuff to the gills, and have a change of heart about going to the police.

  Regardless, my tears had dried up, and it seemed Sebastian and Ani shared my sentiments. We had a mission to accomplish.

  After poking my head inside my place to let my folks know I was home, and before Sebastian and I walked Ani and Juno across the street, I nipped around to the small storage shed on the side of our house. I grabbed two squeaky foam coolers with lids, handed one to Sebastian, and set the other on my front porch for when we returned. George and Mary did their “Darling” thing and made meeting Sebastian seem like an event they’d been waiting for their whole life. He turned on the charm, too, I noticed. Not many men—or women, for that matter—could resist the ethereal beauty of Ani’s mother, not because she was over-the-top sexy, but because she was a woman alight on the inside. She just seemed to draw out the best in people everywhere she went. Pretty much the same way Ani did.

  We quickly filled the cooler from their ice maker, and then Sebastian and I said goodnight to Ani and her parents. She promised to call me later, and we headed across the street again.

  “I’m curious. Did Ani mean she was going to call you tonight?” Sebastian asked in all sincerity as we approached his car. “Didn’t you just spend the last several hours together?”

  He slid the cooler of ice onto his backseat, then locked the car up and turned around to face me. He shoved his hands in his pockets, but mine swung loose at my sides because I didn’t have pockets on my leggings. I felt awkward and small beside him; the guy was at least a foot taller than I was. Finally I crossed my arms, pretending to be a little chilled, even though the temperature probably hadn’t dropped much below seventy degrees yet. Summer was already threatening to be another hot one for Southern California, but right now, it felt almost perfect.

  “Oh! Well, we have to talk about you,” I teased, making light of the truth because it was easier than coming up with a lame lie. “You somehow finagled our secrets out of us while we sat on the hillside waiting for Foster, but you’ve told us none of yours. For all we know, you could be a serial killer, or an alien from some unknown galaxy. Or maybe you’re just some mystery magic man with a song or two to pull out of your hat.”

  For a moment, Sebastian said nothing, his eyes on the ground in front of us, but I could see the corners of his mouth lifted in a wry grin. He slowly withdrew his hands from his pockets and began playing the opening riff of Heart’s “Magic Man” on an air guitar as he hummed the tune.

  I laughed out loud, but didn’t dare sing along. The song, about a mysterious magic man casting a spell on an innocent young girl, felt a little too close to home for me. Even with the events of the last few hours, Sebastian seemed to be working some kind of magic on me, and I was finding it harder and harder to resist him. Or even remembering why I should. I stepped away from him and started around the end of his car toward the sidewalk, assuming he’d follow.

  “Well, if those are my only three choices,” he said, slipping into step beside me, “then I’ll take magic man. Unless, of course, you mean breakfast cereal killer, and then I must plead guilty. I love my Captain Crunch.”

  “Original? With berries? Or the chocolate kind? Wait,” I said, laying a hand on his arm, making him stop before we reached the front porch. “This is important, you know. I take my Captain Crunch very seriously.” The silly conversation felt good.

  “Ah, but did you know there’s peanut butter, too? And peanut butter chocolate combined.” He tipped his head as though seriously considering hi
s options. “And of course, there are the seasonal flavors and the movie propaganda flavors.”

  “Wow,” I exclaimed with a dramatic sigh, pressing a hand to my chest. “A Captain Crunch aficionado. I think I might just be falling a little in love with you, Sebastian Jeffries.”

  It was supposed to be a joke. I really thought I could pull it off, too. But I have this problem. I tend to speak before I think things through. And if I’d thought it through, I might have taken into consideration just how true that statement was.

  His silence made it worse. I couldn’t look at him.

  “Sorry,” I muttered. I crossed my arms again and moved toward the front steps.

  “Wait, Tish.”

  I climbed the two steps up before turning around. I hoped the added height would boost my confidence a little, as well as put some space between us.

  All it did was elevate me to eye-level with him, and with the porch light behind me, shining on his face, I found myself looking into the strangest shade of blue eyes I’d ever seen. Not blue like periwinkles or the summer sky or crystal blue, all things I’d heard my own eyes compared to, but blue like mottled sea glass, like the still waters of a deep lagoon. Like a love spell cast on a summer night by a magic man.

  Sebastian held out his hands to me, and after a moment’s hesitation, I uncrossed my arms and put my hands in his, my breath releasing as his fingers closed around mine.

  We stood like that for a momentary eternity, his gaze searching my face. I wondered what he could see with the light behind me, but then I realized the street lamp at the curb probably lit up my features quite clearly. I hoped he couldn’t see the blush I knew was there.

  “Thank you, Tish,” he began.

  “For what?” I snorted, wanting desperately to look away, but somehow unable to. “For making you look good?” I closed my eyes in frustration over my apparent inability to be subtle with him. “I mean, by making myself look like such a… a doofus?” All I could think of was Ani’s word she’d used at the park earlier.

  “No.” Then he smiled. “Well, yes. I am kind of enjoying watching you squirm.”

  I tugged hard, trying to free my hands, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he moved closer to me, one foot on the first step.

  “Actually, what I meant was, thank you for everything. For all of it.” He paused, his brow furrowed like he was trying to figure out where to begin. “For giving me a chance to audition for your band. I know it must be strange to bring in someone new and for Tom to be leaving. You guys are obviously tight. For allowing me, especially. I haven’t always been kind to you.”

  I nodded, trying not to fidget at his reference to class, especially after his squirm comment.

  “Thank you for not kicking me out when I insulted Tom in public.” He dipped his head, but lifted it again quickly, as though he wanted me to see his sincerity. His tone softened. “And for insulting you, too, for which I’m really sorry. And for practically attacking your brother.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, to remind him he’d only been trying to protect me, but he shook his head.

  “Let me finish. Thank you for inviting me to share a meal with your family.” He lowered his gaze to my mouth when I licked my lips. “Do you want to know a secret?” His voice dropped like he was actually divulging something he didn’t want anyone else to overhear. “That was a first for me, too. I’ve never had breakfast at the dinner table before.” Then he lifted his eyes back to mine.

  He was totally serious. I had to practically bite back the questions, but I sensed his admission made him already feel vulnerable. I needed to choose my words carefully. Before I could say anything, he continued.

  “Thank you for looking out for Pete, for Foster. For waiting with me at the park, even though I know you had better things to do than hang with us. Better things to do than doctor up a broken down man tonight.”

  Okay. That whole reticence thing? Sebastian suddenly seemed to have quite a few things to say, things that embarrassed me, but made me all warm and tingly inside. Between the things I’d seen of his character over the last few weeks and his words, this was not the guy I’d assumed him to be for all these months. Was it because he was letting his guard down, or because I was?

  “I was right where I wanted to be,” I said. “And I know Ani would tell you the same thing.”

  “Well, I know it meant a lot to Foster. And Pete.” He cleared his throat. “And to me.”

  I nodded again, wondering if I should thank him, too. “I’m just glad you came along when you did.” I said again, and then rolled my eyes, remembering again just exactly what was going on when he arrived on the scene. “Okay. I take that back. I wish you’d shown up maybe a few minutes later. You know. You could have avoided the spitting, hacking, and coughing-up-a-lung thing.”

  He smiled, drawing my attention to the fine lines crinkling the corners of his eyes. He had such a great smile. Not the straightest teeth in the world, I noticed, but secretly, I appreciated the knowledge that he wasn’t actually perfect after all.

  “I’m glad I showed up when I did, too,” he said. Then he released my hands and slid his palms slowly up my arms, my flesh goose-bumping at the sensation, until he cupped my shoulders. “You’re so tiny,” he murmured, the change of subject catching me by surprise. “Delicate. But not fragile. Like a bird.”

  “Ani calls me T-Bird,” I whispered.

  He reached up to touch a wispy strand behind my ear that had come loose from the clip in my hair. He gently tugged on it before letting his fingers drift along the curve of my neck until he was cupping my face. “Or maybe more like a blue-eyed fox. I think you might be part vixen, Tish Ransome.”

  I didn’t know whether to laugh at how cheesy his actual words were, or swoon over how charming he was. I heard strains of Hendrix singing “Foxy Lady,” but I shot for something somewhere in the middle. I hoped my voice wouldn’t crack like a teenage boy’s. “Is that what you say to all the girls, Sebastian Jeffries?”

  A movement over his shoulder caught my eye and I darted a glance to Ani’s house. My friend stood framed in her upstairs window, holding a huge teddy bear and pretending to make out with it. I burst out laughing.

  Sebastian stepped back, confused, and obviously embarrassed at the notion that I was laughing at him. I grabbed his upper arms before he could be offended and turned him around so he could see what I was seeing. Forgetting for a moment the tentative bridges we were building, I leaned against his back, my cheek close to his, and reached over his shoulder to cup his chin, raising his face toward Ani’s window. “Second floor. My ex BFF.”

  The raspy texture of his chin in my palm, the way my fingers curved along the line of his jaw, I didn’t want to let go. The cloying hand-sanitizer scent had dissipated and his cologne, or aftershave, or whatever he used, was faint after the long day, but I was so close to him the fragrance filled my nostrils and I held my breath.

  Sebastian reached up and took my hand before I could pull it back, and pressed a kiss to my palm. My knees buckled slightly and I prayed he hadn’t noticed my bobble at his back.

  “One more thing, Tish,” he said without turning around. He drew my arm around the front of his chest, pressing my hand to his heart, forcing me to lean into him a little more. I took a shaky breath in an attempt not to catch another whiff of him, but then grimaced. I sounded like a heavy breathing creeper with my mouth open like that.

  “What?” I whispered, knowing my voice would most assuredly fail me if I tried to say more. Ani was still going at it with her bear. I kept my eyes on her, grounding myself in her juvenile display.

  “I like that you might be falling a little in love with me.”

  I reached up with my free hand and covered my face, even though he couldn’t see my burning cheeks. “Oh for the love of all that is good and gory. Would you please forget I said that?” He chuckled—I felt the rumble with his back up against me. “Or at least don’t tease me about it. I don’t think I can take it. Not if
I have to ever look at you again.”

  “I’m not teasing you, Tish. I mean it.” He turned his head slightly and rested his cheek against my temple. “In fact, I really, really like that you might be falling in love with me.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  FarfallAni: What did I miss???? Ani was beginning to catch on to how useful punctuation marks were in texts. Did I see what I think I saw????!!!!??

  JollyRockerTBird: What did you think you saw????

  FarfallAni: MACK-ARONI AND CHEESE????!!!!

  JollyRockerTBird: Oooooh. All caps. You mad? Ani refused to follow texting etiquette rules and I teased her about it every chance I got.

  FarfallAni: NOPE! HAPPY!!!! MACK-DONALDS HAPPY ME(al)!!!!

  JollyRockerTBird: Okay. Stop with the mack puns. You do know that word doesn’t mean kissing, right? But FYI: Lots of cheese, no mack-aroni, as you put it.

  FarfallAni: Whatevs. Making out=Macking in my book. Makes perfect sense to me. And what the WHAT??? Why no mack-aroni? Ani had a thing about cussing. She hated it, which is one of the many reasons I’d resorted to pirate insults and curses instead of swear words. Not only did it keep me out of trouble with my super-conservative parents, but more often than not, the silly words diffused whatever tension there was that caused me to feel the need to uncork the potty-mouth, and most of the time, the circumstances righted themselves as the animosity dissipated.

  JollyRockerTBird: I don’t mack and tell. I peered out my window to the house across the street, but Ani’s bedroom light was off. It was too early for her to be in bed, and since she was texting me, it must mean she was watching television with her folks.

  FarfallAni: Whatever. If you’re not going to mack and tell, don’t mack and cheese on the front porch with all the lights on.

  JollyRockerTBird: Dude. Do you even know what that word means??? No macking, but yes, it was a LOT of cheese. He called me a vixen.

  FarfallAni: WHAT? What did you DO TO HIM???? DID YOU MACK ON HIM??? So she did know what it meant.