by Renee Ryan
His smile vanished, but he didn’t seem as disturbed by the question as she would have expected. In fact, he looked like he wanted to talk. Which, according to Hailey’s research, was a really, really good sign.
She relaxed back against her seat in relief, until she realized he wasn’t actually talking. Not yet, anyway.
Perhaps he didn’t know where to start.
She decided to help him out. “Were there too many choices in there? Was that what triggered your, um…reaction?”
His lips twisted into a frown. “Not exactly. It was that ridiculous argument I overheard.”
“What argument?” she asked, more than a little confused.
“There was a woman, just behind us, or maybe one aisle over, complaining about the low thread count on the sheets.” He shook his head in disgust. “She was making it sound like it was the end of the world because she couldn’t find sheets soft enough for her guest room.”
Hailey furrowed her brow. Why would something so innocuous shove him close to the edge? “I’m not sure I understand.”
Wolf’s eyes took on a hard expression. “There was such entitlement in her tone, like it was her right to have the softest sheets known to man, when so many people in the world don’t even have a bed.”
His words triggered a surprisingly strong reaction in Hailey, a mixture of shame and guilt and conviction. Her greatest fear was that she’d end up like that woman, ungrateful for the advantages in her life.
“I know I overreacted,” Wolf admitted. “It’s not that I begrudge people having nice things. That’s what makes this country great. You know? The freedom to choose, to achieve, to go after whatever we want, whether it’s good for us or not.”
Finally, Hailey understood what had happened to Wolf inside the store. “You want people in this country to appreciate what we have,” she ventured. “That’s what got you so upset, the woman’s lack of gratitude.”
He shrugged. “My anger was out of proportion to the situation. I’ve never been that furious in my life. Not even when my mother walked out and left me to care for my alcoholic father all by myself.”
What? His mother had abandoned him? Hailey forgot all about soft sheets and sufficient gratitude. It took all her mental effort to fight off the powerful rush of anger slamming through her. The emotion was so strong she could hardly breathe.
“How old were you when she left?” she asked, her voice sounding oddly calm, considering the fury building inside her. “Ten.”
So young? “Oh, Wolf, how awful.”
He looked at her oddly. “Didn’t you say Clay told you about me?”
She nodded, unsure why he’d steered the conversation in that direction.
“Clay never told you about my childhood?”
“Of course not,” she assured him. “He wouldn’t have betrayed your confidence like that.”
Instead of offering comfort, her words seemed to make him tenser. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
There was so much confusion in him. Didn’t he realize how loyal Clay had been to their friendship? “The circumstance of your childhood wasn’t Clay’s secret to tell, not even to me. He kept his descriptions to your character and how it showed in everyday, ordinary events.”
Like how Wolf always had time to play soccer with the local Iraqi kids, even when he was exhausted from a full day’s grueling work. How he accepted the dangerous missions others didn’t want to take. How he would speak with his soldiers, whenever, wherever, no matter the situation or problem.
So caught up in trying to remember the rest of what Clay had said, Hailey barely noticed Wolf shutting down again. With very controlled movements, he slipped on his sunglasses and reached for the ignition.
“Wait.” She placed her hand over his. “Did you say you had to take care of your alcoholic father? All by yourself?”
He let go of the key and sat back. “You caught that, huh?”
“But you were only ten years old.” A baby, really. At that age she’d had nothing more on her mind than dance classes, swimming lessons and what candy to pick at the movies.
“I grew up fast,” he said.
And suffered for it, she thought, in ways she couldn’t possibly understand. A child should never have to be that responsible at such a young age. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you.”
“You have no idea.” He ran his fingertip along the steering wheel, round and round and round. “My father was a mean drunk.”
Hailey hurt for the little boy he’d once been. So much her heart ached. Not only had he been forced to become an adult at the age of ten, he’d clearly been wounded by the two people he was supposed to rely on most, his parents. Yet, despite all his hardships, Wolf had turned out to be an exceptional leader, a man others trusted with their lives.
Clay had said Wolf was the best person he knew. Hailey completely agreed.
Tentatively, she reached out and touched his hand. When he didn’t pull away, she curled her fingers around his.
He stared at their joined hands for a long moment. “The Army is the only real family I’ve ever known. But now, after the bombing—” he swallowed hard “—even that’s tainted.”
Unable to stop herself, Hailey pressed a tender kiss to his cheek, then fell back in her seat once again.
He touched the place where she’d kissed him, smiled briefly then dropped his hand and scowled again. “I go over the details of that day in my head, over and over again, wondering how I missed the signs of the IED.”
Hailey’s eyes widened at the self-recrimination in his voice. “You don’t actually believe the accident was your fault?”
“Maybe I do.” His words came out barely audible.
What a terrible, terrible burden to carry all these months. “Were you driving?” she asked. “Is that why you think you’re to blame?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Clay was behind the wheel. Like always. But, Hailey, I was the Truck Commander.” He looked at her with genuine remorse in his eyes. “It was my job to be on the lookout for trouble.”
She supposed that argument made an odd sort of sense—to him. But it wasn’t the full story. It couldn’t be. He was leaving too much out. Nothing in life was ever that black-and-white.
“If my brother was driving, like you said, doesn’t that mean he missed the bomb, too? And what about the gunner?” She pictured in her mind the Humvee Clay had once shown her. “If he was standing in the turret, wouldn’t he have had a fuller range of vision than either you or Clay?”
“We all missed the bomb,” Wolf said quietly. “But it was my sole responsibility to see it in time.”
Knowing exactly what to say, Hailey touched his shoulder. “Wolf. I don’t blame you for Clay’s death.”
The muscles beneath her hand tensed. “Because of my negligence four good men are dead, including your brother. I stole your family from you, all because I missed something I was trained to see.”
The despair in Wolf’s voice shook her to the core. Now she understood why he was so determined to follow through with his promise to Clay.
“The explosion was not your fault,” she insisted, gripping his shoulder in earnest. “If you need someone to blame, blame the insurgents who laid the bomb. Blame the terrorists who hate us so much they fight dirty. They are the ones who stole Clay from us. And, yes, Wolf.” She leaned closer to him. “Make no mistake. We both lost our brother that day.”
Making a strangled sound deep in his throat, Wolf pulled away from her and reached for the ignition again. One twist of his wrist and Stella exploded into action.
Hailey jumped back at the awful sound. Even if she wanted to continue the conversation, Wolf wouldn’t be able to hear her over the roar of the engine.
What a convenient way to end the conversation.
Only after he put the car in gear did Stella’s obnoxious growl settle into a loud purr.
“Once we unpack the supplies,” Wolf said over the rumble, “I have a video
I need to show you on my computer.”
Considering the grim twist of Wolf’s lips and his cold, intimidating tone, Hailey knew she didn’t want to see whatever was on that video.
But she would sit through the show, for no other reason than to prove to Wolf she didn’t blame him for Clay’s death. Then, maybe, he would stop holding himself responsible, as well.
The unpacking and subsequent organizing took longer than Wolf anticipated. The sun had gone down a full hour ago. With it, the temperature had dropped at least ten more degrees. Wolf’s leg ached like an angry bear.
Rubbing out a kink in his thigh, he looked over at Hailey puttering around in his kitchen. The mood had lightened between them, enough that he no longer wanted to talk—or even think—about what had happened in Iraq. He just wanted to enjoy her company.
He watched, fascinated, as she went to the sink and flipped on the faucet. After squirting dish soap in the pooling water, she tackled the task of washing a stack of plates recently freed from their packaging.
Unable to take his eyes off her, Wolf’s heart took a tumble in his chest. Hailey moved with a sleek grace that captivated him. She was all poise and fluid motion and beneath her deceptively easygoing manner was the heart of a warrior. She would fight for her beliefs to the bitter end. He’d been kidding himself to think otherwise. She would also stand boldly beside those she considered her own.
Wolf wanted to be hers.
Taking a deep breath, he rocked back on his heels and tried not to disturb her while he was battling this strange mood.
Then again, why not interrupt her?
Decision made, he ambled into the kitchen.
“Are you planning to work through dinner?” he asked in what he hoped was a light tone. He couldn’t tell over the drumming of his pulse in his ears.
She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “What time is it?”
Captured in that sweet gaze, he swallowed. “Just after eight.”
“I didn’t realize it was so late.” She looked around the town house and her smile deepened. “We’ve certainly accomplished a lot.”
“Enough for one day.” He concentrated on a spot over her head, searching for anything to keep his mind off the way his heartbeat continued to pick up speed at an alarming rate. “Let’s get something to eat.”
“But I’m not through washing dishes.”
“I say you are.”
He reached around her, turned off the faucet then stepped back. She spun around with a gasp. Blinking rapidly, she looked flustered and confused and adorable. He had to fight not to pull her into his arms and kiss her.
There was something about this woman that called to the man in him. He felt incredibly normal around her. And accepted, truly accepted.
A flood of warmth captured his cold heart. Hailey O’Brien was a special woman. By refusing to hold him responsible for her brother’s death, she made him want to forgive himself, to turn back to God and be a better man, the man he never thought he could be but desperately wanted to become.
She moved a step closer, piercing him with her gaze. There was curiosity in her eyes. And something else. Something that told him she was fully aware of him, fully engaged in the moment.
Needing something to do, Wolf grabbed a dish towel off the counter, took her hands in his and began drying them.
She let out a shaky sigh.
He liked that sound. It made him feel like an alpha male, called to protect his woman from danger. And, yeah, Hailey was starting to feel like his woman.
“Are you going to kiss me again?” she asked with unmistakable excitement in her eyes.
He could get used to her looking at him like that. Grinning like the Big, Bad Wolf she’d once called him, he continued rubbing her hands. Slowly. Methodically. “It’s a high possibility.”
“So, um…” She cleared her throat. “Are you going to do it anytime soon?”
He tossed the towel over his shoulder, then lifted one of her hands to his lips. “I’m thinking about it.”
Now she looked annoyed and maybe a little impatient. “Are you gonna think about it much longer?”
“That bother you?” he asked, knowing full well that it did.
“You bet it does.” She tugged her hands free and then skimmed her fingertips across his cheek. “You have exactly five seconds to get busy, soldier. Or I’ll take matters into my own hands.”
He liked that idea. A lot. “How long do I have left?”
“About three seconds.”
“One…” He counted slowly, fighting for patience. “Two…”
She let out a feminine huff and grabbed his shoulders. “Three.”
He closed his eyes as she pressed her lips to his. Her kiss was tentative, innocent and so sweet Wolf’s eyes stung behind his lids.
Just as he started enjoying himself, she pulled her head back. “There.” Her tone rang with triumph.
Wolf grinned at her, realizing he hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Maybe never. “Very nice.”
A blush spread across her cheeks.
He leaned forward for another kiss, but then her stomach growled and he stopped his pursuit. “Hungry much?”
She gave him a wry grin. “I suppose I should warn you. I get mean when I don’t eat.”
He doubted that, but he played along. “Then we better get you fed.” He walked over to the counter and yanked Stella’s keys into his hand. “If I remember correctly, you owe me a pizza.”
“I’ll gladly pay up.” She took the keys out of his hand and twirled them around her index finger. “But before we head out, didn’t you want to show me something on your computer first?”
His good mood plummeted at the reminder. With considerable effort, he folded his emotions further inside him and took his keys back. Nothing was going to ruin this moment, especially not a series of video clips of IED explosions. “Later. Maybe after we eat.”
Thankfully, she didn’t argue. “Okay.”
Wolf watched, mesmerized, as she twisted her hair into one of those intricate braids only women knew how to build.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m pulling my hair back so it’ll fit under the helmet.”
“What helmet?”
She gave him a pitying look. “The one I have to wear to ride on your motorcycle.”
He shook the car keys in front of her nose. “We’re taking Stella.”
“Oh, no. No, no.” She plucked the keys back and then tossed them into the sink of soapy water. “You promised me a ride on your motorcycle.”
Wolf was already shaking his head before she finished speaking. No way was he putting her on his bike at this hour. “It’s too dark outside.”
“Why would riding in the dark be a problem?” She angled her head at him. “Don’t you have a headlight?”
“Sure, but you won’t be able to see much. Why bother?”
“Because I’ll be able to tap into my other senses. Feel the wind on my face. Hear the roar of the traffic. Maybe smell the pine trees. As a matter of fact…” She drummed a finger on her chin. “Not being able to see just might make the whole experience more exciting.”
It probably would, Wolf silently admitted to himself. But he wasn’t giving in to her request. Riding a cycle could be dangerous. Riding at night even more so.
“Come on, Wolf.”
“Absolutely not.”
She gave him a sad puppy-dog look that just about broke his heart. “Please?”
“No.”
“I have tricks to make you change your mind.”
Okay, that sounded interesting. “Yeah? Like what?”
She opened her mouth, shut it, concentrated for a moment, then began again. “You might as well quit arguing. You will give in.”
In the face of all that female confidence, Wolf knew she was right. She was going to win this one. But his pride wouldn’t allow him to go down without a fight. The woman was going to have to earn her ride.
“Go ahea
d, sweetheart.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Convince me.”
Chapter Ten
Smiling in triumph, Hailey wrapped her arms around Wolf’s waist and prepared to enjoy the ride. She couldn’t hear much over the noise of the motorcycle’s engine.
She didn’t care.
She felt great. Free. And to think, she’d nearly missed out on this fabulous experience because of Wolf’s stubbornness.
Thankfully, he’d given in to her request. All it had taken was a few steps in his direction, a lot of female attitude on her part and a saucy grin. The poor man had gone down without a fight.
But right now, instead of gloating—there’d be plenty of time for that—Hailey allowed herself to embrace all the wonderful sensations of the moment.
Her pulse raced in time with the roar of the engine. Her stomach flipped over and over and over again. While her eyes filled with happy tears.
This was an adventure she wouldn’t soon forget.
No denying it, Hailey had lived a sheltered life. If she’d have continued existing in her safe, predictable world, she’d have missed out on today. She’d have missed out on Wolf.
Smiling broadly, she hugged him a little tighter.
Misunderstanding the gesture, he slowed down. “Sorry,” he yelled over the wind. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
Touched that he was that concerned about her, she shouted back, “I’m not afraid.”
“Really?”
She laughed into the wind. “Speed up.”
With a twist of his wrist, he did as she requested, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, “Woman after my own heart.”
Hailey sighed, ready to admit the truth at last. She wasn’t falling for Wolf, she’d already fallen. It had been coming on for a while, maybe all the way back to Clay’s first e-mails about his friend with the odd nickname. In some place deep within her, Hailey had been waiting for Wolf to come home to her.
And now that he was here, she was a better person for knowing him. It wasn’t just his good looks that had captured her heart. It was his courage. His integrity. And, oddly enough, his devotion to her brother’s last request.