Save the Secret Date

by Ellie Cahill

  “I’ll give you that,” Reina said. “They’re definitely happy together.”

  I sighed. “Why can’t I have that?”

  Reina shook her head. “They’re not all Becketts, that’s for sure.”

  “I’ll settle for a Luke,” Ashley said with a mischievous grin.

  “Uh, yeah, we noticed,” I said. “Everyone noticed. There’s probably going to be a story on Mexican television.”

  “What? He’s hot.” Ash shrugged. “I will not apologize for getting mine.”

  “Think he’s The One?” Reina asked.

  I laughed.

  “Who cares?” Ashley said. “Not everyone can be The One. I think it’s healthy not to expect them to be.”

  “That’s a really good attitude,” Reina said. “I think we put too much pressure on ourselves when we get into a relationship. It’s fine to just enjoy something for a while, don’t you think?”

  “Girl.” Ashley held up her drink for a toast. “That is my motto and life’s philosophy.”

  Reina laughed and clinked her glass against Ash’s.

  “Anybody need anything?” Hadley asked. “I’m gonna go to the bar.”

  “I’ll come with you,” I volunteered.

  “No, no. I’ll get it. Just tell me what you want.”

  “I don’t know yet,” I said. “I’ll come with you.” In truth, I was happy to slip away from Ashley and Reina if they were going to start preaching the Gospel of No Commitment.

  Hadley handed me one of the cocktail menus when we got to the bar.

  “Do you need to look?” I asked.

  “I’m all set,” she said.

  “I can never decide when they have so much to choose from…” I flipped from one page to the next helplessly.

  The bartender approached. “What can I get you?”

  “Cranberry and soda,” Hadley said softly. “And can you throw a couple cherries in there?”

  “You know, that actually sounds pretty good,” I said. “Cranberry vodka for me, too.”

  Hadley put her hand out urgently. “No vodka in mine.”

  “Yes ma’am,” the bartender said.

  “Had enough to drink?” I asked when he turned his back to us.

  “Kind of,” she said. “It’s easier to keep people off your back if you drink something that looks like a cocktail.”

  “That’s smart.”

  I hadn’t paid any attention to what Hadley was drinking all night, but now I wondered if she’d had any alcohol. Was she not a drinker, maybe? Or…maybe she was a recovering alcoholic. It hadn’t occurred to me, but I guessed it was possible.

  A few possibly follow-up questions ran through my mind, but which one would be the least intrusive? Part of the secret to getting everyone’s secrets is that you can’t appear even the slightest bit judgmental.

  I must have been looking at her weird, because her eyes went wide and her entire face turned beet red behind her million freckles. “You can’t say anything,” she said in an urgent whisper.

  “What do you—oh!” The truth hit me all at once. Hadley hadn’t had a single drink since she’d arrived, but she was doing everything she could to make sure no one noticed. There was one other obvious reason she could be doing this beside a secret alcohol addiction: Hadley was pregnant.

  “Oh my god.”

  She shook her head. “Please. Promise you won’t say anything. You can’t.” Her eyes darted to Brady, who was obliviously laughing over something with Beckett.

  “I won’t,” I promised. “Cross my heart.” I drew the X across my chest with my index finger. “You can trust me, I swear.”

  “Okay. Okay.” She fanned her face as her eyes filled with tears. “Damn it.”

  “There’s a bathroom over there,” I pointed toward the main entrance. “I saw it when we came in. Go put some water on your face. I’ll get your drink.”

  “Thank you.” She gave my hand a quick squeeze before she rushed off in the direction I’d indicated.

  Holy cats. And I thought I had a secret.

  The bartender returned with our drinks, and I made sure to double-check which one had vodka, then took a test sip to triple-check. I walked slowly back to the group, trying not to openly stare at Brady.

  My friend was about to be a father. Even thinking the word was dizzying. How in the world had this happened? Okay, I’m not an idiot. I knew exactly how it had happened. But how had I gotten to an age where I was not only at one of my best friend’s weddings, but I’d just found out another one was going to have a baby.

  Possibly before he even knew.

  I had to find out if Brady knew. I was a heck of a secret keeper, but it was essential to know who also knew.

  Hadley didn’t reappear for a few short minutes that felt like hours while I tried to fit her secret inside my head. There did not appear to be room for it in the Reality Gallery of my brain. I’d have to temporarily wedge it into the Things That Cause Me Anxiety Storage room. Although that was chocked full of Jake for the moment.

  The redhead’s face was still a little blotchy, but it was hot and she’d supposedly been drinking. I hoped that would be enough cover.

  “Thanks,” she whispered as I handed off her drink. “Thank you.”

  We both avoided eye contact. It was for the best. All I wanted to do was ask her a million questions and try to help. I’m sure all she wanted to do was crawl under the nearest table and hide. It was best we didn’t feed off each other with any excessive eye contact.

  I looked around for Jake, wondering if his watchful eyes had caught any of my exchange with Hadley. If he had, he would know something was up. It was one of the things he and I had in common—the uncanny ability to know things, whether we wanted to or not. Let’s just say it wasn’t a mystery that he was getting a masters in psychology.

  But he was in a chair that faced away from the bar, chatting with Travis.

  For the moment, I was in the clear, and so was Hadley.

  This night was turning out to be way more stressful than I’d expected.

  14

  Hypothetically, Of Course

  Eventually, Happy Drunk Emmy turned into Sleepy Drunk Emmy, and Beckett declared that their night was over. The rest of us were welcome to stay out, but he was going to get his future wife to bed so she would actually show up for the wedding tomorrow. I knew Sleepy Drunk Emmy well, and Beckett was right to get her out now. She was probably 20 minutes away from curling up on the nearest flat surface and going to sleep for the night.

  Her eyes were drooping as she said goodnight to each of us with a hug.

  “Goodnight, Em. Go get some sleep.”

  She nodded slowly, looking in my eyes like I was dispensing the wisdom of the universe. “I will,” she promised.

  “You’re getting married tomorrow!” I said excitedly.

  She nodded again, and whispered, “For real this time!”

  “What?”

  “Come on, drunko,” Beck said, tugging on her arm. “You’re done.” He rolled his eyes at me.

  I laughed.

  The day on the beach had worn the rest of us out as well, so it seemed like as good a time as any to head back to our resort. If anyone really wanted to stay awake, there was a lobby bar there as well.

  “I’m ready to head to bed,” I announced.

  “Really?” Ashley asked. “I don’t feel tired at all.”

  “I’m exhausted!” I said.

  “I want to go for a walk on the beach,” she said.

  “We just walked all night! Aren’t your feet killing you?” Mine certainly were.

  “It’s still early for me,” she said. “I don’t care what New York says, Las Vegas is the real city that never sleeps.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Luke said.

  Ashley didn’t hesitate. “Great!”

  “Are you sure?” I said. “It’s so dark out there. You could step on a jellyfish or something.”

  “There’s plenty of moonlight.”


  “I really don’t feel good about leaving you alone,” I said.

  “I’ll be fine, mom!” She rolled her eyes.

  “She’s with me,” Luke added.

  “Yeah, but…”

  “I’ll make sure she gets back safe. Scout’s honor.” Luke held up an open palm, immediately proving he didn’t know the Scout salute.

  “Mary.” Ashley looked at me solemnly. “I’ll be fine. I promise. I’m a big girl.”

  I knew Ash lived a whole life without me. She was obviously capable of taking care of herself. I was no longer the unofficial house mother of our apartment. “Fine.”

  “I’ll walk you back,” Jake offered.

  We joined a mob of wedding guests moving in the direction of our resort, but Jake and I quickly fell to the back of the group. My feet throbbed in my shoes, and I was moving at a snail’s pace.

  “So, I’m not sure what they’re planning,” Jake said, “But you can always come to my room if there’s a problem, okay?”

  “Thanks. Same goes to you.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  Up ahead of us a few paces, Hadley and Brady were walking together, him with his arm draped heavily over her small shoulders. Knowing now what I was looking at, I couldn’t help observing that her pace and path were straight and sober, while Brady was the wobbly one.

  “You okay, Hadley?” I called.

  “For now,” she called back, unable to turn. “Thanks.”

  “You think I should help her?” Jake asked. “He looks a little unwieldy.”

  “Probably wouldn’t hurt.” I slipped my shoes off so I could walk faster and hurried forward with Jake to take some of the burden off little Hadley.

  Brady decided it would be a good time to sing every song he knew with words that rhymed with Hadley. There are a surprising number, as it turns out, though his favorite was the one about the librarian from The Music Man. He’d sing, “I love you madly, Hadley Bradley, madam librarian,” and then start laughing before he could go on. I did not think this was the first time for this little trick, as Hadley just sighed repeatedly and said “God damn it, Will,” a number of times.

  Between the three of us, we managed to get him back to their room without incident, and I wished her good luck at the door.

  “Thanks.” Impulsively, Hadley darted out to give me a hug. “For everything.”

  “You know I’m a nurse, right?” I whispered. “If you need anything?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” She nodded. “Really.”

  I released her and said goodnight a final time.

  Jake pushed off from the spot where he’d been leaning against the wall to fall in step beside me. “So…she’s pregnant, isn’t she?”

  “How’d you figure it out?”

  He shrugged. “Plenty of clues if you’re looking. Does Brady know?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Good.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? He might think it’s great.”

  “I wasn’t saying he wouldn’t.”

  “So what were you saying?”

  “Never you mind, Miss Mary.”

  I gave him a look, but he acted like he didn’t see me. It was par for the course with Jake. If he didn’t want to tell me something, no force in the universe would make him. I had to respect it, as a sworn secret-keeper, even though I hated knowing there were secrets out there I wasn’t privy to.

  We arrived at my door first, and I swiped my wrist band in front of the lock.

  “You might as well come in,” I said. “God only knows where Ashley and Luke are.”

  “I would like to be a gentlemen and refuse. Let the lady get some rest, but my self-interest is too high. Thank you.”

  I went straight through the room to open the balcony door. It was almost pitch black out there except for the stars, though I could still hear the waves. So much for Ashley’s moonlight. She and Luke could be ten yards straight ahead of me and I wouldn’t be able to see them.

  “Watch out for jellyfish,” I muttered.

  Jake joined me at the railing, looking out into the same nothingness. The view wasn’t much, but the sounds and the smells made it irresistible nonetheless.

  “It’s beautiful out here,” he said. “I miss the ocean being in Chicago.”

  “I thought you were all about your big stinky lake.”

  He laughed. “Hey! It doesn’t always stink.”

  “If you say so.”

  “Come see it for yourself. You’ve honestly never seen anything like it.”

  “Mmm,” was all I said because I couldn’t tell if that was an actual invitation to visit him in Chicago or just one of those idle challenges people make in conversation.

  “So, Brady is going to be a dad,” he said with wonder. “I can’t…Jesus.”

  “I know. It’s pretty weird.”

  “I mean, Beck? Sure, I could see that. Back when he was with Emily—they’d probably have two by now. But Brady? Definitely not Brady.”

  “I kind of envy him,” I admitted.

  “You want a baby?”

  “No. I mean, yes, but not like right this second. Not in nine months or whatever it is for them. But it’s kind of…I don’t know, nice? That it’s just decided for them, you know? They’re not going to have to have a discussion about when to start trying. Or how long they should be married before they have kids.” I shook my head. “Everyone gets so worried about getting it right. Maybe it’s just better to rip the bandage off. You’re planning to have kids someday, well guess what—today’s the day!”

  “Most people wouldn’t see it that way.”

  “I’m just saying, maybe it’s easier this way.”

  Jake sighed. “Babies do not make things easier.”

  “Okay, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, either. A lot of people in my family get married really young,” I said. “It’s mostly worked out. Remember? My mom was 20 when I was born.”

  “Christ, that’s right. I forgot. Wasn’t she in college?”

  “She has an Associate’s degree in nursing. She was pregnant when she graduated. She’s why I wanted to be a nurse.”

  “That must have been tough.”

  “I guess. But my parents got married when she was 18, so it wasn’t like a shotgun wedding or anything. It worked for them.”

  “That’s so young…”

  “My 22 year-old sister just had her first baby, and my 18 year-old cousin is engaged… It’s pretty common where I grew up.”

  “You’re from Irvine.”

  “Half my family is LDS, and the other half is military.” I shrugged.

  “Meanwhile my family specializes in divorce and twenty-year age gaps with their third wives…”

  “Hey, my family might get married young, but they don’t seem to get divorced all that much.”

  “But are they happy?”

  “I guess…but I guess don’t really know for sure.”

  “There’s got to be some kind of happy medium,” Jake mused quietly.

  “Between?”

  “Between child bride and 50 year-old new father.”

  I giggled. “There’s a lot of territory in there.”

  “Exactly. How has no one figured out how to do this right?”

  “I think lots of people are doing it right,” I said. “Lots of people just meet the right person and say, ‘Hey, let’s do this,’ and it just…works.”

  “It would nice if it wasn’t so up to chance.” Jake sighed and pushed off the railing. He crossed the balcony to drop onto the oversized swing. It was wide and deep with a thick cushion; more like a suspended bed than a seat.

  “Would you prefer an arranged marriage?” I asked. “Maybe your parents could negotiate you a really worthy bride. Maybe even some goats, or a cow to go with her.”

  “Works for a lot of people. All over the world.”

  I let out a surprised laugh. “Are you serious? You’d actually go for that?”

  “N
o, come on, Mary, give me some credit. I’m not looking for a stranger and her dowry of goats.”

  I went to join him on the opposite end of the swing, turning slightly sideways with my knees drawn up. I could see Jake from this angle, but we still weren’t face to face, so it felt easier to talk. “What then?”

  “I just meant, I’m not totally opposed to coming at commitment from a practical angle. Maybe the odds are more in your favor if you take the lovey heart-eyes out of it. Make it an arrangement between two people who have the same goals.”

  “I don’t know if I could do it,” I said. “I want the heart-eyes. And the commitment.”

  Jake turned his palm up on the bench between us and made a tiny ‘gimme’ gesture. I’d seen this a hundred times at our apartment. He was offering a foot rub.

  I shook my head. “I walked barefoot. You don’t want to touch my feet.”

  “I’ll stick to your ankles.”

  I extended one foot hesitantly, and he pulled it across his lap so the bottom wasn’t touching anything then pushed his thumbs into the soft flesh on either side of my Achilles tendon.

  My eyes fluttered and an involuntary moan slipped out of my mouth. Jake didn’t react.

  “So, hypothetically, what if you had an arrangement, like ‘if neither of us are married when we’re thirty…’ that kind of thing?” he said.

  “In this hypothetical scenario, am I marrying someone I used to date and broke up with? Because I’m not sure I should be marrying an ex-boyfriend just because we thought that might be a good idea years earlier.”

  “No, in this scenario, you turn thirty, you’re still single, so you start dating the person you’re supposed to marry.”

  “Wait, we’re going to date first? For how long? I mean, couldn’t I hypothetically just meet someone when I was thirty and date them and decide to get married anyway? Why would I need an arrangement just to start dating this person?”

  “I don’t know, maybe you really like the person you’re going to start dating when you’re thirty.”

  “This is a very complicated scenario you’re spinning, Jakey.”

  He reached across the bench to draw my other foot across his lap and easily coaxed another moan out of me. “These are purely hypotheticals.”

  “Uh huh.” I couldn’t go on for a moment while he slid his hands up to knead my calf. “You’re missing one critical aspect.”