Her Secret Baby

by Christine Sterling

  Until his selfishness became too much and he wanted more from her. And when he found out he couldn’t have anything of hers, he decided he would punish her as best as he could. Her pain was the only comfort he could take, and he gladly took it. But now she was gone, and he had nothing left but this aching feeling in his chest. Was it because he loved and missed her? No, that would be a feeling for a normal man and he wasn’t a normal man. He felt empty because he went through this and had nothing to show for it. He was penniless and alone and it sickened him.

  He heard the door open and he turned his head to see who it was. A tall older gentleman stood in the doorway, holding a briefcase. “Well, I knew if I couldn’t find you at the bar I would probably find you here,” he said, turning to set his hat and coat on the hooks on the wall before closing the door. “You look like hell, Harold. When was the last time you bathed?”

  Harold sat up and scowled at his visitor. “What do you want Gerald?”

  Gerald sat in the chair across from him, setting his briefcase down. “I wanted to offer my sincere condolences about the loss of your wife.”

  “I know you did not come all the way here to offer hollow pleasantries towards a woman you didn’t even know,” Harold spat at his guest.

  Gerald opened the briefcase and took out a stack of papers, ignoring Harold’s words. He set the stacks down on the table between them. “I’m here on official business. I’ve looked into the matter we had discussed before.”

  Harold looked up at the man, scooting forward so his knees were touching the table. Gerald was a man he had met on many a night when he had pursued the flesh of a woman who wasn’t his wife. When he was thinking about ways of getting his wife’s fortune, he talked to Gerald, as he was a lawyer and was well versed in laws concerning trusts. “But I thought it was impossible?”

  Gerald smiled devilishly. “Not impossible, just a bit harder to obtain. You said there was a child?”

  Harold sat back in his seat, frustrated with this line of questioning. “It doesn’t matter, she had a girl. What can you do with a girl?”

  Gerald was still smiling. “Plenty.” He motioned to the papers, “I’ve read over the papers. It says nothing about it being a male. Just an heir.”

  Harold perked up at his statement. “Just an heir? The sex doesn’t matter?”

  “No. It seems that her parents were very thorough in terms of making sure any children were taken care of if your wife should die. It’s just a few forms and then you would have access to your wife’s fortune.”

  Harold sat up straight and smiled, for the first time in weeks.

  Harold banged on the door for the third time. He was becoming impatient, standing there at the Grayson house. He knocked again. The door swung open and standing there was a small girl, probably no older than eighteen. She was wearing a maid’s uniform, with her long hair tied behind her head. She looked at Harold, visibly startled by his presence.

  As he stared at her some more, she looked oddly familiar, but he couldn’t quite place her. She looked too pure to be one of the ladies from the gambling basements or the women he had bedded. Those were the only woman he interacted with anymore. “Excuse me, miss,” he said in his sweetest voice, “I’m here looking for my niece, Elizabeth. Can you please call her to the door, so we can talk for a moment?”

  The maid looked at him with wide eyes and looked back into the house. “Uh, she’s not here now. May I take a message?”

  Where could she be? He looked beyond her into the house. She looked even smaller in the door frame, so Harold walked past her. “Sir, you can’t come in here!” the young lady yelled after her as he started down the hallway. He looked around into different rooms, with the maid flittering after him like a small fairy. “Sir! You mustn’t!”

  When she screeched like that, the memory came to him and he knew exactly who she was. He turned around and caged her against the wall. “You’re Rose’s daughter.”

  The girl stopped squirming and stared, wide-eyed at Harold’s face.

  “I’m right, aren’t I? Which one are you though,” he looked at the girl, bringing his hand to her face. “You must be the younger one. You seem too pure to be the older one.”

  The girl shook against him. “Let me go,” she managed to squeak out.

  “I will, lovely, once you give me what I want. I’m thinking my niece is not here and I’m gathering you know exactly where he is.”

  She trembled again and shook her head. “No, I don’t know where she is.”

  “Of course, you do. And you are going to tell me.”

  Harold mistakenly loosened his grip on her arms and she ducked down, away from his touch. She turned around and stared him down in her best angry face. Harold thought it was almost comical. “No, I do not know where she is, and now I have to ask you to leave.”

  “You do know, and you are going to tell me,” Harold said walking closer to her. The maid stepped back, bracing herself with her small arms, as Harold leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Unless you want me to tell your mistress exactly who you are.”

  The maid stepped back. “You can’t tell her; the mistress would not understand.”

  “Then tell me where she is!” Harold seethed at her, pulling her arm towards him.

  The girl cringed towards him. “I won’t,” she whispered, looking at his face in defiance. But he could still see the fear in her eyes.

  “Mary, what is going on?” came a voice from the kitchen. Harold dropped his hold on her and angled his head to see Mistress Grayson standing in the doorway. “Harold, is that you?”

  He bowed towards her and went to take her hand to kiss. “Mistress, how are you?”

  “I’m doing well. My condolences about your wife. I’m very sorry for your loss.” She looked beyond him, at the maid. “Mary, don’t you have chores?”

  The maid bowed her head. “Yes Mistress, I will attend to them now.” She ran out of the hallway into the other room, leaving Harold and the Mistress to themselves. “Would you like some tea?” she said, as she walked into the kitchen.

  Harold thought to himself, wondering how he was going to escape from the house. Sitting with Mistress Grayson was not the plan. He had to tread lightly, knowing the Mistress would question why he wanted to know where Elizabeth was. Looking around, he noticed some letters on a side table. On top of the pile was a letter to Elizabeth, with an address to Illinois.

  He couldn’t believe his luck, smiling as he pocketed the letter. He turned to walk into the kitchen. “Mistress, I have to tell you about your maid Mary.”

  Elizabeth watched as her husband nailed another plank to the wall. She was sitting outside on the lawn, admiring her view of the farm. It was the afternoon, and she had just finished setting out the laundry and watering the garden with Samantha. It had been a few weeks since she arrived, and she was starting to settle into this life. Every day, Tom seemed to be taking a better liking to her. He would teach her something new every day and Elizabeth picked it up quickly.

  She felt useful again, as if she was finally making a difference. She loved how Tom seemed to trust her more with each passing day. She knew how much this place meant to him and it seemed he was giving more of himself to her. She would take any piece she could get from him. He tried so hard to make their place more like a home and she couldn't help but start to feel more for him. She wondered in the back of her head if he felt anything for her.

  Tom set the hammer down and rolled his shoulders, before turning back and smiling at Elizabeth. Oh, how she loved looking at his body. She felt herself heat with anticipation. She felt embarrassed at her feelings. She wondered if it showed on her face how much she desired him. The feelings felt foreign to her, but also just right.

  He walked over to her, settling down on the ground beside her. “What are you staring at with that smile on your face?”

  Elizabeth tried to hide her embarrassment for getting caught by her husband for ogling him. “I was just admiring the boards.”

/>   Tom arched his eyebrow up but didn’t say anything. He laid down and put his head in her lap. Elizabeth felt a jolt of fire pass through her. Tom smiled and tugged at her hands, so they rested on his head. “Where is Madeline?”

  Tom had been so attentive towards Madeline, acting as if she was his own daughter. Madeline seemed to like him too, clinging to him at every chance. Elizabeth had a sinking feeling her baby cousin liked him more than her. It hurt only a tiny bit as she was glad they were getting along so well. It was as if she was getting the small family she had always dreamed of. “Samantha has her. I don’t know why she loves taking care of her so much!”

  “I think she’s trying to prepare herself before they have the new baby. As I see it, I think she’s most afraid Seth won’t be ready.”

  Elizabeth chuckled, brushing back the hair on his forehead. She certainly agreed with that assessment. Seth seemed to be the most awkward when it came to the baby; Samantha was always asking him to take the baby in his arms, but Seth wasn’t much of an obedient participant. Tom and Elizabeth would just sit back and laugh as Samantha would try as best she could to get Seth to at least hold her.

  She curled her fingers in his hair, having taken off his hat to rub his scalp. The intimacy of this slight action sent warmth through her body. She craved any bodily contact from him. He didn’t seem to flinch at her contact, only closing his eyes and leaning into her touch. There were moments, like this one, where it seemed he too wanted her in the same way. Light touches and smoldering eyes. And yet, he always seemed to turn away from her, with this anger in his face. It confused her. Once minute he looked like he wanted to have her, right there, and the next it was as if a mere look from her disgusted him. She didn’t know how to react.

  Tom abruptly stretched up from her lap and shook away from her touch. “It’s getting late, and I have to go to town.”

  Elizabeth instantly felt the loss of him, as he stood up, grabbing his hat. “You really have to go?”

  “I want to get back before sundown,” he said, offering his hand to help her up.

  “Could I come with you? I think I’d like the trip to the town.”

  “Are you sure? I’m just picking up some supplies. It will probably be boring.”

  “No, I think it will be good for me, to go into town occasionally. Let me check in with Samantha and see if she’s ok with watching Madeline for a little while longer.”

  She could hear Tom laughing behind her. “Of course, she wouldn’t mind. The woman loves playing house.”

  Tom just didn’t know what to do with himself. As he felt his wife nestled in front of him as they rode back into town, he knew he was in trouble. He was starting to feel things for her, feelings he didn’t think he would ever have. They were intense, as if by a mere touch of her finger he would explode into a million tiny pieces. He longed for her in every way; but what perplexed him the most was how much he craved her attention and her conversation. When the days became rough and he thought the workload was unbearable, he would just think about who he was going home to and he would just want to work harder and faster, so he would have more time with her.

  He also knew that he was falling in love with her little girl. Madeline was just the cutest baby. It surprised him at how easy it was for him to take on parental duties. Samantha was so elated, telling him how he was a natural father, much to the chagrin of Seth, who was having a tough time adjusting to having a little one around. Holding that young baby in his arms was like Tom was holding the universe in his hands.

  Tom knew he was getting in way too deep. He needed to create some distance, especially from his wife. He could feel himself falling and he didn’t have any room in his heart for any more heartbreak. He had already told her how she shouldn’t fall in love with him; what would happen to him if he fell in love with her? Such feelings weren’t allowed for him.

  When they finally got into town, he jumped off the horse and helped Elizabeth down. He was leaning in close enough to smell her. Lavender and honey, so intoxicating. How could a woman’s smell drive him wild? He quickly stepped away from her. Elizabeth looked at him, and he could see hurt briefly in her eyes. Soon, the look was gone, and she was smoothing out her dress.

  A woman was walking on the sidewalk and she waved at Tom. “Tom! I haven’t seen you in a while. What brings you here?” the girl asked, as she walked between them. She looked over at Elizabeth and smiled. “Oh, I don’t think we have met. My name is Misty.”

  “Misty, this is my wife, Elizabeth.”

  Misty turned directly towards Elizabeth, with a huge grin on her face. “So, the rumors are true! Barrett has been hitched.”

  Tom blanched at Misty’s statement. “Where have you heard that?”

  “It’s everywhere,” Misty said, waving her hand in dismissal. “Personally, I think the person who started it was Samantha.”

  Tom groaned. Of course. Tom looked towards the town and back at Elizabeth and Misty. “Am I going to get interrogated when I walk into town?”

  “No, I don’t think so. You scare so many people with just that mean look sometimes, no one would dare to question it. So, make sure you give them that stare.”

  Elizabeth looked questioningly. “He has a mean stare?”

  “Oh yes. He gets this look in his face when he gets frustrated. I’ve seen it a lot when he doesn’t get what he wants. It looks like this,” she said, making her best angry face.

  Elizabeth laughed and Tom groaned once more. “I do not make that face!”

  All these woman around him, just stirring up trouble. He grabbed a bag and turned around to go into town. “I’m going to get going on the errands.”

  “Would it be ok if I explored a bit?” Elizabeth asked.

  Tom didn’t feel right leaving her by herself, being she hadn’t really walked around the town on her own. Misty seemed to sense his misgivings. “Why don’t I take her around for a bit? I’m on my way back to the hotel anyway.”

  “You don’t mind?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Not at all! It would be my pleasure,” she said with a smile, looking over at Tom. “Of course, if that’s good with your husband.”

  Tom knew he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. But he also knew Elizabeth valued her freedom and she wanted to be treated like his equal. He knew what he had to do. “Yes, of course.”

  Elizabeth squealed and hugged him. Tom didn’t react at first, just standing there and enjoying her embrace. Until Elizabeth seemed to remember herself and stepped back abruptly. She bit her lip, whispering, “sorry.”

  Tom wanted to tell her there was nothing to be sorry for, that he had enjoyed that hug as much as she did. He wanted to say how he craved her touch and couldn’t stop thinking about her. But before he could make a fool of himself, she was already gone, taking his courage with her.

  Chapter 10

  Misty had this familiarity Elizabeth couldn’t quite place. There was something about her that struck Elizabeth as odd, as if they had met before in another time. She just seemed so familiar and yet so foreign. It was a strange feeling; she knew she had never met the girl before. She had definitely heard about her; her relationship with the town’s sheriff certainly came up a time or two during their dinners at night with the Jenkins.

  They were walking around, with Misty pointing out different scenery around them. They were also making small talk; Misty was rather interested in how her and Tom had met and what led to their eventual walk up the aisle. Elizabeth tried to stay as coy as possible; although Tom had said that the whole affair was done, she still feared Carl’s retribution. The less people around her that knew the situation, the better Elizabeth felt.

  “It’s so strange, to see him married. To be honest, I never knew it was possible.”

  “That’s the impression I’ve been getting about him.” Elizabeth twisted the sleeves of her dress in nervousness. “He has quite the past.”

  “Yes, he does,” Misty chuckled to herself, only stopping when she saw Elizab
eth’s somber face. “But that doesn’t really mean anything now. You are the one that got him in the end. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

  Elizabeth felt her heart lighten a bit. In their conversations, Samantha had also been just as reassuring, but Elizabeth didn’t take what she was saying too seriously; she knew Samantha had invested interest in their relationship being a success. Having another person, even if it was someone from the outside looking in, gave Elizabeth confidence that she needed. She smiled to herself. “You really believe that?”

  Misty stopped and turned to Elizabeth. “Of course, I do. I wouldn’t lie to you. I haven’t known Tom for a long time. I haven’t been in this town for very long either, but I do think I notice things of other people. And every time I’ve seen him, he seemed to be someone just going through the motions, just to get through another day. But when he’s with you? There is just something different about him. Like he’s paying attention finally.”

  “I think I’m falling in love with him.” The words escaped her lips before she even realized they were out there in the open. She quickly cupped her mouth, horrified by what she had just said.

  But Misty seemed to take it in stride. “That’s not some big secret. I can see it in your face,” she said with a wink of her eye. She looked down the street and groaned. “It seems that my employer is outside, probably looking for me. I hate to leave you though,” she said, her eyes darting back and forth.

  Elizabeth looked towards the man standing in front of the hotel. She had seen him before, and he always looked so cranky. Knowing Misty was probably going to get in trouble dawdling with her, she waved her hand dismissively. “No, of course, I understand. You should get back to work.”

  “Are you sure you’ll be ok? I know Tom really wanted someone to stay with you, but I think you’ll be fine. Nothing really bad happens around here and it is still light outside.”