The Missionary's Purpose

by Kat Brookes

  Mason’s gaze snapped up to meet his.

  “You had a son to think about,” Jake explained, his tone softening. “And Lila. You made the right decision. Now stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine. I just need some time to process everything.”

  “Jake, I know you,” Mason said determinedly. “You’re not processing. You’re shutting down.”

  The response put Jake on the defensive. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Momma, Violet and I all feel you pulling away.” His brother’s tone was filled with emotion. “Maybe you should consider talking to someone.”

  Jake tensed. “I don’t need to talk to anyone. What I need is for everyone to give me some breathing room to sort things out on my own.”

  “If you’re up to going to church...”

  “I’m not,” he said, the words clipped. “Look, Mason, I’ll get there. I know I will. I just need to do so in my own time. I’m asking you to respect that.”

  Mason shook his head and then held up his hands, palms out. “Okay. I’ll back off for now. But know this, Jake, I will do whatever it takes to bring the brother I knew back to me. We’re family, and family doesn’t give up on each other—ever.”

  * * *

  “Oh dear,” Mama Tully said as she pulled a package of pork chops from the refrigerator.

  Addy paused in setting the table and turned to face her foster mother. “Is something wrong?” After the rough summer Mama Tully had gone through after her emergency appendectomy and the complications that followed, Addy found herself worrying even when there was no need to.

  “Only that my dinner is going to be ruined.”

  Her gaze dropped to the package in her foster mother’s hand. “Did the pork chops go bad?”

  “No, they’re as fresh as they get,” she replied, carrying them over to the counter by the sink. “It’s dessert that’s going to be ruined. I was going to make a peach trifle to go with our pork chops and gravy and completely forgot to run by this afternoon and pick up the peaches Constance set aside for me.” She looked to Addy. “Would you be a dear and run over there and pick them up?”

  “I...uh, sure,” Addy said, anxious at the thought of heading over to the Landers place. Even if it was just to the market. Lila would have happily gone in her place, knowing the situation, but she and Finn were over at the new house.

  Her foster mother let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad. A meal just isn’t complete without dessert.”

  She’d be more than happy to go without, but she would do it for Mama Tully. “I’ll be right back,” Addy told her and then went to get her car keys.

  Less than five minutes later, she was pulling into the market’s parking lot. When she reached for the door, Addy found it locked. She leaned in to peek through the picture window, only to find the lights off. Stepping back, she glanced at the hours sign and frowned. The market had closed at four thirty. Her gaze shifted toward the house in the distance. Gathering up her courage, Addy crossed the yard and knocked on the door.

  “Come on in!” someone inside responded. No, not someone—Jake.

  Her heart gave an excited lurch, and then anxiety washed over her. While she longed to see him, she knew Jake would not be happy to see her. She bit at her bottom lip and glanced back toward her car, debating whether to let herself into the house or go back to her car and drive away. If not for Mama Tully, she might have chosen to avoid the confrontation she knew awaited her inside. With a sigh, she let herself into the house.

  “Jake,” she called out as she stood in the entryway, “it’s Addy.”

  There was a long stretch of silence before he responded. “I’m in here.”

  Following the sound of his voice, she stepped into the living room. Jake sat, his back mostly to her as he lounged in a tipped-back recliner. His wheelchair sat open next to him. At first glance, he appeared to be casually sitting. But he was anything but relaxed. Tension radiated from every inch of him. In the muscle clenched in his lightly whiskered jaw. In the rigid stillness of his shoulders. In the curl of his one hand into the cushioned arm of the chair. The other hand, protruding from the sling, was wrapped tightly around the remote. He had yet to look her way, not that she’d expected him to.

  “Sorry to intrude,” she said. “I was looking for your momma. I went by the market, but it was closed.” Her gaze shifted to the old Western playing on the TV. Or, at least, that had been playing. The show had been paused. The scene frozen on the screen was that of a standoff in the middle of some fictitious town. It made her think of her relationship with Jake, only the standoff they were having was an emotional one instead of physical.

  “She closed early today,” Jake replied, his thumb now tapping the remote impatiently. “Lila wanted her to run by and see something they were doing with the new house.”

  “Oh,” she said, frowning. “Mama Tully sent me over to pick up some peaches your momma set aside for her.”

  “That’s why you’re here?” he said, surprise easing his features.

  “Yes.”

  “They’re in the fridge,” he said. “Momma told me Mrs. Tully would be stopping by to pick them up.” He inclined his head in the direction of the kitchen. “You know where the fridge is. I’d get them for you, but...”

  “Of course,” she told him, needing no further explanation. “I’ll just grab them and go so you can get back to your movie. I know how much you enjoy watching old Westerns.”

  “You, too,” he said, much to her surprise.

  He hadn’t forgotten her favorites. That meant so much when he was determined to give her so little. During Addy’s last visit to Sweet Springs, they had sat through a cowboyathon, watching Old West-set shows together for practically an entire day.

  “Yes,” she said softly, “me, too.” When he said nothing more, Addy said, “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. If you ever need someone to talk to...”

  “I don’t,” he muttered. “I told my brother the same thing earlier this afternoon.”

  “Okay,” she replied, wishing they were back to how they’d once been. They’d been able to share so much. “Well, I had better get those peaches to Mama Tully. She needs them for the dessert she’s making for dinner this evening.”

  Jake nodded and then turned his attention back to the television, hitting Play on the remote.

  Addy wanted so badly to settle herself on the sofa next to the chair he was seated in and watch the rest of the movie with him. Wanted things between them to be the way they used to be. So comfortable and fun. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to change things.

  Turning, she made her way to the kitchen. After grabbing the basket, she headed for the front door. As she passed by the entry to the living room, she slowed, taking in one final longing glance at Jake, who had gone back to watching his movie. Then she let herself out, easing the door shut behind her. Her heart, at that moment, felt as fragile and as empty as the tumbleweeds that blew about aimlessly in those beloved old Westerns.

  Chapter Three

  “I’ve really missed our family dinners,” Addy said with a smile as she and Lila finished up that night’s dishes. It had become a nightly ritual for them once again. A time to bond. A time to reflect. A time to forget her own troubles among the busy chatter that tended to fill the kitchen at every meal.

  “Have you told Mama Tully about your job yet?” Lila asked as she placed several glasses into the cupboard by the refrigerator.

  Addy shook her head, her gaze shifting to the kitchen doorway. “Not yet.” After putting the leftovers away, Mama Tully had excused herself to go watch the news. Lila and Addy had taken to joining her once the dishes were done. It was amazing how much one could learn about the world in one brief hour. Addy didn’t even own a television.

  “She’s going to find out sooner or later,” Lila warned. “It’s better she fin
ds out what’s going on from you. Believe me, I’ve been there, done that, and regretted not being honest with her from the start.”

  “I needed to know for myself that she was doing well,” Addy explained. “Because if she seemed the least bit stressed about anything in her life, I wasn’t about to add to it.”

  “She’s good. Really, she is.”

  “I know.” Addy nodded. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

  Lila smiled. “She’s going to be so happy to know you’re going to be sticking around longer than expected.” Her smile sank slightly. “Not that she won’t feel bad about you losing your job. None of us would have wished that on you.”

  Addy laughed. “It’s okay. I knew what you meant. And to be honest, I’m glad to have this extra time to spend with everyone, especially you. Soon you’ll be a married woman.” One whose life would be filled with family moments and the love of a husband who adored her. Addy found herself wondering if she would ever find that same happiness. Shrugging the thought away, she added, “No more weekend visits where you and I throw on our pajamas and snack on popcorn while watching corny movies.”

  “Life does bring on changes, doesn’t it?” Lila said reflectively. “But you will always be a part of our lives. I’ll make sure to keep a supply of microwavable popcorn in the pantry for whenever you come to visit. I hope you know that you will always be welcome in our house, whether just for a visit or for a stay.”

  “I appreciate that. You’ll just have to make certain Jake knows when those times will be so he can steer clear of me.”

  “By then there won’t be a need for that,” Lila said with such confidence that Addy almost believed her. “I have faith that everything will work out between the two of you. You just can’t give up.”

  If only she had that same faith. She wanted to. Truly, she did. But it felt like she and Jake were so far away from each other now emotionally. Still, Lila was right. That would never change if Addy just sat around feeling sorry for herself during her stay there. Jake might have put up an emotional wall between them, but those walls could be taken down.

  As soon as they were done with the supper dishes, Addy stepped out onto the porch and placed a hopeful call.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi,” she said. “It’s Addy.”

  “Well, this is a surprise,” Mrs. Landers replied.

  “If this is a bad time...”

  “Not at all.”

  “I’m glad. I was hoping I might be able to talk to you about Jake,” Addy told her. “I know he’s been having a rough time of it.”

  “I’ve never seen him like this,” Mrs. Landers replied with a heartbroken sigh. “He’s still keeping to himself in his room. And when any of us go in there to visit with him, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to talk. Even Mason, whom Jake has always been so close with, is getting nowhere.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that,” Addy said, her heart aching.

  “The only spark I’ve seen in my son since he came home from his mission trip was the day you came by. You even managed to get him to come out of his room.”

  Only because he had wanted her out of his family’s house. But she couldn’t dwell on that. “I’m going to be staying in Sweet Springs longer than I had originally planned to, and I was wondering if I might be able to help you out with Jake.”

  “Help me?”

  “I could come over for a few hours two or three times a week to sit with him.” Addy winced at the desperation she heard in her own voice. But she wanted so badly to do this. To have this opportunity to right things. “I’m working on some new recipes for a cookbook I’m hoping to publish and thought I might be able to make some of them for Jake.”

  “They do say that a way to a man’s heart, or, in this case, his good graces, is through his stomach,” Mrs. Landers replied. “And I would greatly appreciate the chance to get caught up on stocking the shelves at The Perfect Peach. Things have fallen by the wayside recently. My focus has been on my son’s recovery. Mason has been busy readying the orchards for winter and working on his and Lila’s new house. And Violet, who is usually helping me at the peach market, has been filling in at The Flower Shack ever since Mrs. Benson had that stroke a couple of weeks ago. I told her Mrs. Benson needed her help more than I did.”

  Which Addy thought wasn’t quite true, judging by the exhaustion she’d seen on Mrs. Landers’s face when she’d last seen her. But her heart had always been giving, so it made sense that Jake’s momma would be fully supportive of her daughter helping someone else in need. And Violet loved working with floral arrangements. She was the perfect person to cover for Mrs. Benson at The Flower Shack.

  “Then you’re okay with my coming over to the house to visit with Jake?”

  “Yes, but you have to know that my son is not going to be as receptive to the idea as I am.”

  “I realize that,” Addy admitted. “But I have to try. Jake’s friendship is too important to me not to put the effort into repairing the damage that I’ve done. Besides, I’ve got thick skin,” she assured his momma. “I can take whatever he has to dish out to me, knowing that it was my keeping the truth from him, from all of you, about Finn that left me in a bad place with him.”

  “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Addy,” Mrs. Landers said, her words tendered with kindness. “Life shouldn’t be about paybacks. It should be about offering and receiving forgiveness.”

  She was so grateful that his family had chosen to look past what she had done, even if Jake hadn’t. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I’ll do everything I can to help Jake through his recovery. Whether or not he’ll choose to forgive me, only God knows. And He and I haven’t really had a relationship since I left Mama Tully’s to move back home with my momma.”

  “I see,” Mrs. Landers said, but there was no judgment in her tone. “You never mentioned anything about that during any of our phone calls. I just assumed you had taken your newly found faith with you when you went back to Atlanta. You seemed so drawn into the Sunday sermons when you lived here.”

  “I was, but Momma blamed God for the troubles we had,” Addy said honestly. Never once in the nearly four years Addy had lived with her momma and her new husband after returning to Atlanta had her family ever attended church services. “I felt like I had to choose between her and God after I left Sweet Springs.”

  “Of course you would choose your momma,” Mrs. Landers said. “You were young, and I know how much you missed her when you were living here.”

  “I was happy with Mama Tully, but I did miss having Momma in my life,” Addy admitted. “If the absence of faith in my life is going to be an issue for you, I’ll understand if you’d rather not have my help with Jake.”

  “Honey, you were the only one able to get him to leave his room for any real length of time, to show emotion, to talk and even spend time outside on the porch.” She let out a soft sniffle. “All those things I’ve not been able to do.”

  “He would have come around for you, too,” Addy assured her.

  “I’m not so sure. And faith can be lost just as it can be found again. That’s something for you to decide. I’m not going to cast judgment on you because of it. I will, however, pray that you find God again someday. That being said, I would appreciate your help with my son more than you could ever know. In fact, you might just be the answer to my prayers.”

  * * *

  A light tapping sounded, drawing Jake’s gaze from the book he’d been trying to get his head into reading on his tablet to the closed door across the room. “It’s unlocked,” he called out. His gaze shifted to the clock on his nightstand, noting that his momma must have slept in for a change. He was glad for that. No matter how many times he’d told her he didn’t need her waiting on him, she was always there a few minutes before eight, right before heading over to the market for a couple of hours, bringing him breakfast.

/>   The door cracked open an inch or so. “Your breakfast is ready.”

  Jake’s brows shot upward at the familiar voice. “Addy?”

  “Yes,” she replied through the slight opening.

  She was the last person he expected to have knocking on his door, even if she had filled his thoughts since her return home more than a week ago. Especially at that time of the morning. He looked to the clock again for confirmation and then back to the multipaneled door. “It’s 8:00 a.m.”

  “I know,” she replied. “I’ll give you a few minutes to get dressed before I wheel you out to eat.”

  “Wait a minute,” he muttered. “Wheel me out?”

  “To the kitchen,” she clarified from the other side of the door. “To eat. Be back in a few.” With that, she pulled the door closed.

  “Addy!” he called out as her light footfall moved away.

  She stopped somewhere in the hallway outside his room and replied calmly, “Yes?”

  What on earth was going on? He wanted her gone, but that wouldn’t get him the answers he sought.

  “I’m already dressed,” he told her. Had been for a while. Every day since returning home, he’d stirred to wakefulness long before the sun began stretching its dawning rays up into the morning sky. Then he’d dress and either sit in his wheelchair looking out the window or he’d prop himself up in bed and read a book. That morning, it had been the latter.

  “Oh good,” she said, sounding overly cheery as she stepped into the room. She was dressed in a pair of faded denim jeans and a burnt-orange sweater that made him think of turning leaves and pumpkins. “We won’t need to reheat your waffles. So why don’t you get in your chair?”

  He blinked once. Twice. She was still there. Jake promptly lowered the tablet and shut his eyes, trying to determine if he had somehow fallen asleep while perusing the e-book and was only dreaming Addy’s presence.