The Missionary's Purpose

by Kat Brookes

  Jake looked away to stare out the window, noting that, like Addy, the deer had fled as well. “I was making the best out of a bad situation.”

  Mason snorted. “If saying that helps you to sleep at night. But the truth won’t just go away by speaking false words.”

  “What do you want me to say?” Jake asked in frustration.

  “I want you to admit, if only to yourself, that your heart wants to forgive Addy, but your stubborn head is determined to hold out.”

  He couldn’t deny his brother’s assessment of the situation. His heart had always had a soft spot when it came to Addy. She’d been his boyhood crush, and those feelings had only grown deeper as he’d moved into adulthood, kept alive by the phone calls she made to his momma that he would find his way into being a part of. In the occasional visits she’d made to Sweet Springs over the years, which had been few and far between. Back then, however, he’d been grateful for any time he’d been able to spend with Addy, because being with her, talking to her, always made his heart feel alive. No other woman had ever affected him that way.

  Jake looked to his big brother. “Sometimes you know me better than I know myself.” That was as close to an admission of truth where his feelings for Addy were concerned as he could muster. It wasn’t only his brother he’d never expressed his feelings for Addy to. He’d never let her know where his heart had lain, either, because Addy only thought of him as Mason’s little brother, even though only a few years separated them in age. Even as they’d grown older and had developed a true friendship, she’d still referred to him as her good friend and, of course, Mason’s younger brother. He’d hoped that with time and patience she would begin to see him as so much more. Had even felt things changing between them. And then Addy had gone and shattered not only his trust with her betrayal...but his heart.

  “That’s what big brothers are for,” Mason told him with an empathetic smile. “Now, how about I go grab us our sandwiches and a few cookies and we can eat while enjoying the view from Finn’s window?”

  “Would you mind giving me a push outside instead? I’d like to apologize to Addy for making her feel less than welcome when she arrived.”

  Mason’s smile widened into a grin. “I thought you’d never ask.” Stepping around Jake, he grabbed onto the chair’s rubberized grips and steered it from the room.

  Jake ran his apology over in his mind, wishing he were able to walk out to her on his own. The chair and his extended leg definitely slowed them down as his brother maneuvered it into the unfinished hallway and out onto the front porch.

  “‘Bye!” Finn called out from the edge of the yard where he stood alongside Lila, waving his arm to and fro.

  Jake’s gaze shifted immediately to the compact pickup truck his sister had recently purchased as it backed down the gravel base that would soon be Mason and Lila’s driveway.

  Addy returned Finn’s wave from where she sat in the passenger side. Then her gaze moved past Lila and Finn to where Jake sat watching her departure from the porch, his unspoken apology sitting heavy on his tongue.

  “Jake?” his brother prompted.

  “Let them go,” he told him with a frown. His apology for Addy was personal, not something he wanted to do in front of a yard full of spectators. So Jake did all he could do at that moment—eyes still locked with Addy’s, he offered up a wave of his own as they drove off.

  Chapter Eight

  Cup of tea in hand, Addy stepped out onto the porch to join Lila, who was enjoying the sun, Peaches curled up on the wicker settee beside her.

  “Good morning,” Lila greeted cheerily.

  “Morning,” Addy replied with a yawn.

  “Still not sleeping well?”

  Addy nodded. When Jake had turned and glanced her way after she’d stopped by the new house with Violet, there had been a flicker of something in his gaze. Regret? Longing? But he’d quickly shuttered his emotions and looked away. It was as if she hadn’t even been standing there in the same room. His unspoken rebuff had made her heart ache to the point Addy had needed to leave the situation. Even though she’d felt bad about cutting Violet’s visit there so short.

  Today, however, Addy had risen from her bed with renewed determination. Jake’s momma was right. She had persevered through the toughest of times. She would get through this, too, using that same stubborn determination. She would never give up on her and Jake’s friendship. Ever.

  “The situation with Jake?” Lila surmised, more a knowing statement than a question.

  “Yes,” Addy replied. She had prayed more that night than she ever had, except for when Mama Tully had been ill that past summer. It still felt as if she had no right to request anything from the Lord, her not having stepped foot in church since leaving Sweet Springs to go home and live with her momma all those years ago. But the urge to turn to Him in prayer had been strong, and one didn’t have to be in the Lord’s house to pray. He took all prayers sent Heavenward under consideration. Maybe He would be willing to listen to hers as well. Even if they weren’t cast from inside the Lord’s House, a place she couldn’t imagine entering after so many years.

  Addy crossed the porch to where Lila was seated and smiled as she eyed her cat lying there. She smiled again at Lila. “I see that I’ve been replaced as your bestie.”

  Lila reached out to stroke the sleeping cat along her back. “A girl can have two besties, don’t you think?”

  Addy smiled. “Absolutely. But I thought Mason had already claimed the other spot.”

  “Hmm...” Lila pretended to contemplate that one. Then she sighed. “I suppose a girl could always have three if she were so blessed.”

  Her friend had been blessed. Although some of those blessings had taken years for Lila to receive.

  Lila’s gaze dropped to the harvesting basket hooked over Addy’s arm. “Are you going to the garden?”

  “I am.” Their foster mother planted several gardens throughout the year, so there was always a seasonal selection of vegetables to be had. “I asked Mama Tully if I could pick some peas from her fall bounty to add to the pot pie I’m making Jake for lunch today.”

  Lila’s eyes widened in surprise. “Did you just say you were making it for Jake?”

  Addy laughed. “I know. That’s the last thing you expected to hear from me, but after seeing him at your new house yesterday, my heart tells me there is still a chance at salvaging our friendship.”

  “He didn’t even acknowledge you were there,” Lila said with a frown.

  “I’m not sure how to explain how I know there’s hope,” Addy admitted. “I just know. So I’m going to take Jake the chicken pot pie I had planned to make for him anyway.”

  “Are you sure about this?” Lila asked worriedly.

  “I am,” Addy assured her. “I called Jake’s momma a few minutes ago to make sure it was all right with her. Like you, she was surprised but happily gave me her blessing to give things with Jake another try.”

  Lila’s worried expression eased into a smile. “Would you like some help picking those peas?”

  “I would love that,” Addy replied, her mood buoying even more. Her gaze shifted to her beloved cat. “Not sure Peaches is going to appreciate my taking you away from her.”

  Lila laughed. “Peaches is perfectly content to lie here in the sunshine whether or not I’m sitting here with her.” Pushing up from the settee, Lila accompanied Addy off the porch and around the side of the house to the garden.

  “This will be just like old times,” Addy said, grinning happily as she stepped in among the rows of staked pea plants. When they had fostered there with Mama Tully, they had spent hours helping her plant, care for and then harvest her vegetables. It had been the perfect bonding time. It had also been surprisingly therapeutic. At least for Addy it had.

  While she had been helpless to change her own life at that time, she had been able to h
elp watch over and nurture the delicate plants as the seeds sprouted from the rich soil, stretching up toward the sky. Just like Mama Tully had done with her and Lila when they’d come to her as fragile young girls.

  * * *

  “Do you need anything before I head out to the orchard?”

  Jake glanced away from the window to see Mason’s head poking in around the partially open bedroom door. “As a matter of fact, I do. Would you mind dropping me off at Mama Tully’s before heading over to the new house?”

  Mason stepped farther into the room. “I’m sorry. I think this door was somehow blocking my hearing. Did you just ask me to—”

  “Mason,” Jake uttered in frustration. “Can you or can’t you?”

  “If this involves setting things right with Addy, I’d be more than happy to.”

  Jake reached for his cell phone, shoving it into the front pocket of his flannel shirt. “I’m not sure if things are going to be set right, but I owe her an apology. I’d like to do so in person.”

  A wide grin split his brother’s face. “Then what are we waiting for?” Grabbing the handles at the back of the wheelchair, he wheeled Jake around and pushed him out of the room.

  Mason brought the chair to a stop at the front door and then walked around Jake to open it. As he did, both men gasped in surprise.

  “Addy?” Jake managed as his gaze locked with hers through the screen door. Warmth unfurled in his stomach at the sight of her.

  She pasted on what looked very much like a nervous smile. “Hello.” Then she raised her hand, bringing attention to the deep, foil-covered pie dish she was holding. “I was hoping you might be hungry.”

  He nodded, still trying to process the fact that Addy was there, standing on his porch. “I never turn down pie. Apple, blackberry, peach—they’re all the same to me.”

  Mason shook his shock off and reached out to open the door. “Sorry,” he apologized. “Please, come on in.”

  “Thank you,” she replied, stepping in past Mason to stand next to Jake’s chair. Looking down at him, she said, “How about chicken?”

  “Chicken?”

  She laughed softly. “Pot pie. Fresh out of the oven, using peas from Mama Tully’s garden. Lila and I picked them this morning.”

  Now that she was in the house, he could smell it. Just-baked pie crust. Chicken. Seasonings. Jake’s mouth began to water.

  “Please tell me Lila made me a pot pie, too,” Mason said with a moan.

  “Sorry,” she told him. “She didn’t. But there should be plenty of this one I made to go around.”

  He nodded and then looked to Jake. “Guess you won’t need that ride after all.”

  “I’ve caught you at a bad time,” Addy said apologetically. She looked down at the dish in her hand. “Why don’t I just stick this in the fridge, and you can eat it when you get back?”

  “Since I was on my way over to see you, I’d say my plans have just changed.”

  Her beautiful eyes widened. “You were coming over to see me?”

  “I’m going to leave you two to your pot pie and head on over to the house,” Mason said, pushing open the screen door. He looked to Jake. “If you need anything, call.” Then he smiled. “But I think you’re in pretty good hands.”

  Addy returned his brother’s smile.

  When Mason eased the front door closed behind him, Jake looked to Addy. “I was coming over to talk to you about yesterday.”

  “It was a bit awkward, wasn’t it?” she admitted. “If I had known you would be there, I would have declined your sister’s invitation. I’m sorry if my being there ruined your outing.”

  “You had no way of knowing,” he replied. “And my being caught off guard was no excuse to be rude. So if anyone is owed an apology, it’s you. I should have said hello instead of contemplating how I could manage an escape out the window in this.” He motioned to his wheelchair.

  She bit back a smile as if unsure whether to be offended or laugh at the direction his thoughts had gone when she’d arrived. “I’m glad you chose to remain and face your enemy.”

  He frowned. “Addy, you’re not my enemy. At least, I don’t want you to be.”

  She made a face that bordered on discomfort. That surprised him. Addy had made it seem like she wanted their friendship to be repaired. Had his behavior the previous day prompted her to have a change of heart?

  “Addy?”

  “Sorry,” she said with a wince, “but the last thing I want to do in the middle of our conversation is walk away, but I really need to set this dish down. It’s not long out of the oven, and the heat is starting to seep through the dish towel I have under it.”

  “Go,” he urged, concerned she had burned herself while he’d sat there blathering on.

  She didn’t need to be told twice. Pot pie in hand, Addy hurried toward the kitchen.

  Jake sat waiting, impatience driving him to cast anxious glances in the direction she had gone. Unable to wait any longer, he slid his arm free of its sling and reached for the wheels of his chair.

  “What are you doing?” Addy gasped as she came back into view, her gaze fixed on his hands.

  “Coming to check on you,” he replied.

  “I was setting a couple of plates and forks out for us,” she told him as she moved to help him get his arm back into his sling. “What were you thinking? You could have caused your injury to worsen instead of heal.”

  Using his unencumbered arm, he reached for the hand she’d been balancing the pie dish on, turning it over. There was a hint of redness to the pads of her fingers and her palm. The sight of which had Jake frowning. “Does it hurt bad?”

  Addy’s focus was on their hands. “No,” she said more quietly than usual.

  “Addy,” he pressed.

  She lifted her gaze to his. “Only a little. It’s more of a light sting as far as pain goes.”

  Bringing her open hand to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss to one of the reddened fingertips.

  Her breath caught.

  He released her hand, smiling up at her.

  “Feels better already,” she told him, returning his smile. They stood looking into each other’s eyes for several long moments before Addy finally looked away. “Let’s get you to the kitchen while your lunch is still warm.” That said, she moved around to the back of his chair.

  “If it hurts to grip the handles, leave me here. We can have a picnic right here.”

  “Don’t be silly,” she told him. “My hand is fine.” With a nudge, she urged the chair forward.

  Minutes later, Jake was settled into his usual chair at the table with Addy seated across from him. But, instead of eating, she was simply pushing the food around on her plate.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  She set her fork down with a sigh. “I hate to bring up the issues of our past when our time together today has moved in such a positive direction. But I need you to know everything.”

  He swallowed, the pot pie she’d prepared specially for him catching in his suddenly constricted throat. Jake reached for his glass of sweet tea, wondering what else she might have kept from him. She sounded far too anxious for it to be anything good. He wanted to tell her to leave whatever it was she had to say unspoken so their afternoon wouldn’t turn on them the way it had last time.

  “I’m all ears,” Jake heard himself say, in spite of his reservations, trying to sound unaffected. When she hesitated, he motioned impatiently. “Go ahead. Speak your mind. I’d rather that than have your silence if there’s something I need to know.”

  “I need you to know it,” she clarified. “Years ago, when Lila showed up unannounced on my family’s front doorstep, I knew something was terribly wrong. Her face was tear-streaked and ashen. There were dark circles under her eyes. Apparently, she’d spent several nights in a run-down motel, trying to fi
gure out what to do before coming to me.”

  Jake hated that Lila had gone through that when she’d had a safe haven right there in Sweet Springs. But she’d run and placed herself and her unborn child in danger, staying at some seedy motel.

  “Lila told me about the baby,” Addy went on, “and that she loved Mason too much to ruin his plans to follow in your daddy’s footsteps. She couldn’t bear the thought of shaming your family, whom she’d come to love so much. I tried to convince her to rethink her decision not to tell Mason about the baby, but she wasn’t in a frame of mind to think rationally at that point. She begged me to promise to keep her pregnancy a secret and to never tell Mason, or anyone else, that the baby she was carrying was his.”

  “You could have refused,” he stated simply. “Could have forced Lila to tell us the truth.”

  “I wanted to,” she replied. “But I feared that in her current state of mind Lila could very well have run off again if I didn’t give her my word to keep her pregnancy a secret.” She paused, tears pooling in her eyes. “I didn’t want Lila to end up living life on the streets with her child like Momma had with me for so many years. I didn’t want her child to grow up knowing the kind of hunger that would drive a child to beg for scraps of food.”

  “Addy.” He managed to somehow get past the viselike grip her words had on his throat. He hadn’t known what to expect when she’d wanted to open up to him about something, but this made his heart ache for her.

  “I didn’t want them knowing the ever-present fear that came with living out of a car,” she went on, as if she’d held the words in for as long as she could and the emotional dam she’d built up around her was finally giving way. “Or to feel the shame of having to wash up in gas station bathrooms. I knew what it was like to wake from sleep to find some dirty face staring in at me through the car window. And then having to cover my ears to block out the persistent tapping against the glass that separated me from the world outside whenever one of those intrusive strangers sought to coax me to unlock the car door. But I knew better. Momma had told me never to unlock the doors for anyone but her.” A lone tear slid down her cheek as those dark memories resurfaced.