Brighter Days Ahead

by Mary Wood

  ‘By, that’s good to hear. I’ve no time for tea, though. Sorry. Me mate’s making me some, as we speak, and I promised her I’d not be long. I’m just glad as you’re all right, lass.’

  ‘Well, I ain’t saying as it’s a bed of roses, but we’re muddling through, like the rest of them. And I heard from my Fred; he’s doing fine. He misses us, but he has some good mates. Here, look, he sent me a photo of them.’ Pauline fumbled in the pocket of her pinny and pulled out an envelope.

  Flo looked at the group of soldiers in the photo, relaxing with a cigarette, and particularly at the one Pauline pointed out. ‘By, he’s a handsome fella – you must miss him. Are the kids doing all right, Pauline?’

  ‘They are. They’re as ragged-arsed as ever, but happy. We’ve had no hits in this street and that’s settled them a bit. I wouldn’t let them go away, like most did, but I’ve regretted it. Little one is a nervous wreck, but I couldn’t be without them.’

  Flo wondered at this. She thought of Kathy and knew she wouldn’t want her to experience a bombing raid just so that she could keep her near, but then she hadn’t given birth to her, so she didn’t know how strong the pull to keep her with her might feel. ‘Eeh, with how it’s been, I can understand you regretting that. But young ’uns are resilient, they’ll cope.’

  ‘I know. I wish I could take them out of here, but stay with them – not leave them with strangers. A lot fetched their kids back, but some haven’t seen them in over a year. I just couldn’t bear that.’

  ‘I’ll ask me mate if she knaws of owt like that. There might be a scheme or sommat. She’s a journalist and deals with all sorts. Anyroad, I’m sorry this was a short visit. When I’m here again, I’ll come and visit you.’ Putting her hand in her pocket, Flo brought out the five bob she’d been saving. ‘Here, I’ve got this for you, as I’ve not been able to get the clothes and other things I promised. Get the kids a treat.’

  ‘No. And I mean it this time, Flo. I took it last time because I was desperate, but me man’s allowance is coming to me regular now, and with what me mum can tip up, we’re doing all right. When I said me kids were ragged-arsed, it was just a saying we have for them getting themselves in a state. Not that they have much choice, when their playground is a bombsite. Now, give us a hug before you go.’

  Hugging Pauline reminded Flo of being with Mrs Leary. The two women smelt the same: of baking, fresh washing and love.

  ‘Oh, I nearly forgot. Here’s a few sweets for the kids. They say everything made with sugar will be rationed so tell them to make the most of them.’

  ‘Ta, love. I bless the day I met you, Flo. We always think of you up in the north as being a bit slow and behind the times. Digging coal out of deep holes and drinking all you earn, but you’re not like that. You’re caring and loving.’

  ‘Aye, well, we’re only a small country, by others’ standards, but we have this north–south divide. We think of you lot as posh and having plenty of money. By, I’ve had me eye opened to the truth of that myth, an’ all.’ They laughed together and hugged each other tightly.

  ‘Till next time then, Pauline.’

  The happiness and relief Flo felt at finding Pauline so well made her want to skip along the road. The haunting look had gone from Pauline’s eyes and she seemed really settled, if still afraid for her kids.

  That feeling soon left her, as she listened to Lucinda not an hour later.

  Feeling hungrier than she’d felt in days, Flo was on her second butter-less spam sandwich when Lucinda both frightened and shocked her.

  ‘What I have to tell you isn’t easy, Flo. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the safety of the country, or of you and Simon.’

  ‘I don’t understand; of course I knaw you’d not do that. What’s wrong, Lucinda? You’ve got me worried now.’

  ‘I – I’m in love, and the problem is: he’s German.’

  ‘Naw!’

  ‘I can’t help who I fell in love with, Flo. Please try to understand. I’m not seeing him. I – I mean, not at the moment. I only write to him. Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve frightened you now, but I had to tell someone. I’m going out of my mind.’

  ‘Eeh, I knaw you can’t help falling in love, lass, but a German. And you’re writing to him! How?’

  ‘He has a French aunt. He sends his letters to her, then she posts them to me. He speaks French, so he writes in French and talks as if he’s a Frenchman and as if that’s where he lives. We met up in France once, before Germany invaded. We spent a wonderful week together.’

  ‘And he was a student here? At your university?’

  Lucinda laughed at this, a nervous laugh. ‘Yes. Cambridge was full of every nationality going. That’s where our love began. But when Hitler started to mobilize, he went back home. He feared that if things escalated, he might be held prisoner here. We both studied to become journalists.’

  ‘Eeh, Lucinda, I don’t knaw what to say. I – I wish you hadn’t told me. You knaw as I’m training to join Simon. How . . . ? I mean what will happen, if this is found out?’

  ‘That’s why I had to tell somebody. I’m at my wits’ end. Simon would go mad if he knew. And yet I don’t like deceiving him. I’m thinking of moving to the South of France. That’s where Aldric’s aunt lives. I can live with her as her companion. I speak French, I could get away with being French.’

  ‘But, I – I don’t knaw. I mean, will you be safe – what about the occupation? And, well, how can you keep this from Simon?’

  ‘That’s why I’m telling you, Flo. I want you to tell him for me, but not until after I’ve gone. I’ll give you my address in France, and you can write to me and tell me how he takes it. But don’t worry; the South of France is under the Vichy government, a French organization. Oh, they work with Germany, but things there are not so bad or as frightening as they are in the north.’

  ‘How d’yer expect him to take it, Lucinda? His own sister fraternizing . . . Eeh, I’m sorry. I – I meant . . .’

  ‘I know what you meant, Flo. I – I thought you would understand: I’m not fraternizing, I’m not.’ This came out on a sob, and Flo felt immediate remorse. She jumped up and went to Lucinda.

  ‘Eeh, lass. I knaw as it’s hard for you, but you can’t do this. We’ve all had to make sacrifices, and you have to give up this Aldric. You have to, Lucinda. You could be arrested as a spy. God, Simon would lose his job! Besides, it is like fraternizing, ain’t it? As ugly as that sounds, it is like that.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. Oh, Flo, try to understand. It’s just two people who love each other. We can’t help it that our countries decided to go to war with one another. We can’t switch off our feelings. Besides, I – I haven’t told you it all . . . Aldric was here.’

  ‘What!’

  ‘It was four months ago. He travelled with his aunt. He had another aunt who lived here in England. He lodged with her when he was at university. Well, she died and Aldric, who passed himself off as French, and his aunt were given papers to travel to her funeral. Aldric looks more French than German. His mother was French, and Aldric takes after her. He has a French passport, as he is entitled to. He keeps it at his aunt’s.’

  ‘Naw. Oh God, Lucinda. And you didn’t report him?’

  ‘No. I couldn’t. I was so happy to see him, and it won’t happen often, even with me living in France. He’s been called up. He won’t be fighting, he’ll be a war correspondent and . . . Anyway, he asked me to marry him. I said yes. Oh, Flo, I do love him. I can’t live without him. We . . . we slept together. I – I’m pregnant with our child.’

  ‘Eeh, Lucinda love.’

  ‘So, you see, I have no choice. I have to go. I’m not wicked. Aldric and I didn’t start the war. We fell in love long before we thought there would ever be a war between our countries. I must go to him, I must.’

  Flo was silent for a moment. Whatever Simon was doing at Bletchley – and she thought she now had a good idea – it couldn’t be compatible with him ha
ving a sister who was married to a German.

  ‘You have to let me talk to Roland, Lucinda. I knaw that, like me, he’ll stand by you. But you have to give up Aldric. By, you could be imprisoned for writing to him. And him being a journalist makes it even worse. Your letters are bound to have something in them that he could use. Your whole life is war news, and we share our news with loved ones. Look at how much you knaw about what Aldric is doing. Well, he must knaw the same about you. It can’t go on, Lucinda, it can’t.’

  Lucinda’s whole body sank into Flo. ‘Help me, Flo. Help me.’

  ‘Aye, I’ll do that. I promise. Now, let me get on to Roland. He’ll knaw what to do. I’ll telephone him. But I won’t tell him owt on the phone. I’ll just say you need help and he isn’t to tell Simon about it, but to come down next weekend. I were planning on going up to see Mrs Leary and Kathy before I go to Bletchley, but that will have to wait now.’

  ‘No. You must go up to see them. I’ll come with you and stay with Roland. Oh, I hope he knows what to do.’

  ‘He will. And ta, Lucinda, I really do want to see me folk. Well, I knaw as they’re not that, but they’re the closest I have to a family. I’ll stay here with you tonight, if you like. What d’yer reckon?’

  ‘Thank you, Flo. Thank you. You know, I have friends as well as many acquaintances in my set, but I don’t count any of them as close as I do you. I know we haven’t known each other long, but you’re a special person, Flo.’

  This warmed Flo and went a little way towards dispelling the enormity of everything she’d heard. Getting up, she crossed over to the telephone. Somehow, between them, she and Roland would help Lucinda, though at this moment she didn’t know how.

  11

  Molly

  Chances Stolen

  Soaking in a warm bath, Molly allowed the tears to weep from her body. Every part of her cried: her soul, her heart, poured out her desolation.

  The encounter she’d just had wouldn’t leave her. The titled, so-called ‘gentleman’ had been anything but. One of the richest men in England, he paid well in order to vent his depraved needs on the girl of his choosing. Today, he had picked Molly.

  He’d called her a slut and a whore, besides other things that were so abhorrent to her she couldn’t even think about them, and he’d slapped her with a hairbrush each time he’d uttered an expletive.

  She’d begged him to stop, but had found that his pleasure increased with her every plea, until at last he sank back onto the bed and felt a completion of his lust.

  Cringing in the corner of the bedroom, she’d watched him. His screams of ecstasy rang in her ears as if they were bells pealing a joyful announcement to her: ‘It’s over . . . It’s over!’

  As he cried like a baby, calling her ‘Mummy’ and asking her to forgive him, promising he’d never be a naughty boy like that again, she’d felt like taking the brush to him and swiping him to kingdom come with it. But she’d soothed him and helped him to clean himself up, playing the role she was paid to do.

  She’d been shocked at how much that was. Thirty pounds! The shoeshop had only taken that amount in a month! It was more than she would tell Eva about.

  She’d put one of the ten-pound notes into the lining of her dressing gown to squirrel away in the tin tea-caddy she kept behind a panel under the bath. She’d found the hiding place by accident. Her foot had kicked against the panel one day and she’d realized it was loose. With her tweezers, she’d been able to unscrew it far enough to put something behind it. Her heart raced with the possibility this opened up to her, and she’d immediately thought of the tea-caddy. It had been a gift from one of the punters that Eva, in a very generous moment, allowed Molly to keep. She’d emptied the precious tea into a bag and began to use the caddy to store the odd pound note that she could siphon off her earnings.

  Molly’s nerves tingled as she thought of what she’d done today. She’d been motivated by revenge for what Eva had put her through. The punter had handed over the money, saying that she’d pleased him more than any of the other girls he’d had and she deserved double what he gave them. The ten pounds made her hoard up to fourteen pounds. Enough to allow her to take a chance on escaping. But how she would achieve that she didn’t know. And it couldn’t be just her. She’d have to take Ruby, as she couldn’t bear to think of the reprisals Ruby would suffer. From the moment Eva had realized how close they were, she’d threatened many times to take it out on Ruby, if Molly did anything out of line.

  But fourteen pounds was a lot of money, wasn’t it? If she went soon, she could get two train tickets to Birmingham and go to her Aunt Bet. The thought cheered Molly a little, though the hopelessness of putting her plans into action soon dispirited her again.

  There was only one positive thought she could hang on to, to cheer her: her bruises had to heal before another man would look at her, and that would take at least two weeks. Two weeks’ respite from being pawed by old men. From having them do things to her that repulsed her, and forcing her to do things to them.

  Her mind went back to the first man. Was it just a few short weeks since that time? Seven, in all. She’d never been questioned by the authorities about the doctor’s death. Ruby had found out that Gus and Lofty had taken him back to his home, as she’d supposed they would. Molly’s heart went out to his wife. She’d been told that if she opened her mouth, then the biggest scandal would be unleashed about her husband’s activities – and not just on the night he suffered his fatal heart attack. Molly had seen the official story in the newspapers: The eminent doctor passed away suddenly at his home.

  In a strange way, Molly knew she’d never forget him. Nor could she let go of the hazy, beautiful and sensual world he’d taken her to. More tears flowed from her. Tears for him, but mostly tears brought on by the thought that David should have been the one to introduce her to that world. Where was he? What did he think of her? Brushing him from her mind, she stood up on shaky legs.

  The door opened before she had time to wrap herself in a towel. ‘Bleedin’ hell, you got away light. Poor Jean’s still suffering, and he had her two weeks ago.’

  ‘Light! You should stop having him here, Eva. He’ll kill one of us yet. A couple of times he went for me head, but I managed to duck. One blow of that brush, with the force he wields, and it’ll be curtains, I’m telling yer.’

  ‘I’ll warn him. Now, what’s he tipped up?’

  ‘It’s in me top drawer. He gave me a score.’

  ‘Blimey, yer must’ve been good. You have a rest now, and if you feel up to it tomorrow we’ll go to the flicks and then maybe on to a show. ’Ow’s that sound, eh? I’ll get yer dad ter come, if yer like.’

  ‘No, thanks. I don’t care if I never see him again. But if I feel up to it, I’d like a night out.’

  ‘It won’t be a night – at least not in them places, it won’t. I don’t fancy spending time down one of them Undergrounds when there’s a raid. We’ll go around noon. There’s an early matinee. Then catch the late matinee of a show. After that, we’ll go down Mac’s cellar. Have yer heard of it?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘It’s great down there. I’m thinking of running something along the same lines. I’ve got me eye on a place that’s got a huge cellar. I might buy it and live in the top half, and convert the cellar into a strip club and gambling den, with a couple of rooms for pleasure. That way, even if Hitler bombs the rest of the building, punters can be safe and enjoy themselves. I’ll take you to see it tomorrow.’

  Molly nodded.

  ‘Now, take that miserable look off your face. Your eyes’ll take days to lose the swelling your cry-baby antics have caused.’

  This was said in a motherly tone and marked the way her relationship with Eva had changed. But not inside. Inside, Molly hated the woman and would sooner kill her than look at her. Outside, it was different. These last weeks she’d done just what Ruby had counselled her to and had nurtured Eva’s friendship. It had been easy to do. Eva had shown that she craved a
nother woman to like her. It was pitiful how she trusted Molly, really. Especially as the first chance Molly got, she would do her utmost to do the woman down.

  These occasional treats of going out with Eva were valued by Molly. Just to see the outside world and to breathe fresh air – that’s if you could call it fresh. A lot of Soho was flattened now, and the air was putrid with the smell of burning buildings, and death.

  In the dormitory Ruby greeted her with, ‘All right, love? Here, I’ve made you a cup of Rosie Lee. We’re running out of tea, though, so we need to get some from somewhere.’

  Molly smiled at Ruby. A weak smile that told of her pain. As Ruby smiled back, Molly noticed how much better her teeth looked. They were almost white. Molly had taught her how to brush them each day with bicarbonate of soda. Or, if that wasn’t available, then the soot from the back of the fireplace did the job.

  Ruby had put weight on, too. Molly had encouraged her to eat more, and to wash her hair more often, counselling her that if she looked better, she might get more work in the boudoirs, which was infinitely preferable to the streets. Out there any Tom, Dick or Harry – clean or unclean – could take Ruby up an alley for a couple of bob or less, then knock her about if they felt like it.

  ‘Bad, were it, Molly? Well, it’s over with now, love. I doubt she’ll let him have yer again. Most of the girls can only stand it once, and he knows that. He accepts that she has to get him someone new each time. Sometimes she pulls in one of us street workers for him.’

  ‘I think she might let him have me again, Ruby. She never said she wouldn’t. I think he’ll ask for me, as he tipped up more than he does for the others. I managed to get some for meself.’

  ‘Shhh . . . walls have ears, remember?’

  Flopping down onto the bed made Molly wince, but it felt better to be in a semi-lying position. The tea tasted sweeter than usual. ‘You get some sugar from somewhere, love?’

  ‘No. It’s saccharine, but a new brand. One of the girls from Peggy’s house got them for me. Trixie, her name is. She’s a good sort. Me and her watch out for each other on the street.’