The Saga of Tanya The Evil, Vol. 8: In Omnia Paratus

by Carlo Zen

  “But, General!”

  “We don’t have the supplies or the troops for an offensive. We’ve barely managed to fortify the defensive lines as is!”

  The high-ranking officers argued back wearing grim expressions.

  And Zettour had no trouble imagining how the staffers of the eastern army felt as they voiced their fears.

  After all, there weren’t enough troops. It was too great a risk to sally out to attempt a local offensive. If this were a test on textbook strategy, or as far as was taught at the academy, they would have passed.

  But unfortunately, this wasn’t a controlled environment.

  The prewar education of officers would have cut this out as an “extreme situation” that “would never happen in practice.” And thinking rationally, yes, of course, anyone with a proper brain would scoff at the idea of war for the sake of war, continued fighting for the sake of continued fighting.

  But at this point, it was impossible to laugh.

  “It won’t do to spread our troops thin and get skewered by the enemy vanguard. If that foolish move is our only other option, then we might as well gather up what little we have and swing them as a club.”

  “General…”

  “I’ll make the request again. The request is for you to consider and come up with a rescue plan. It’s fine to be cautious, but I expect you to give me a proposal before our friends get wiped out.”

  JUNE 14, UNIFIED YEAR 1927, THE EASTERN FRONT

  In official Imperial Army documents, Soldim 528 is classified as a medium-size forward base. Originally, it was a planned city and a base for the maintenance of Federation rolling stock.

  The Imperial Army occupied it during their advance following the successful Operation Iron Hammer, but troops were pulled away during the run-up to Operation Andromeda to take part in A Group’s offensive, so the place was practically deserted. Frankly, Soldim 528 was a nonessential base out in the sticks…as it should have been.

  If the enemy hadn’t shown up, Soldim 528 would’ve been a breezy posting in the backcountry. Instead, it’s currently under siege. The leader of the staff providing the hospitality for this deluge of unwelcome customers, Lieutenant Colonel Tanya von Degurechaff, is woken up from a light nap by First Lieutenant Serebryakov.

  “…It’s time, Colonel.”

  Directing her vacant eyes toward the clock, she sees it’s time to change shifts.

  I would’ve liked to savor a bit more idle slumber, but that’s obviously not an option here.

  “Got it. Good work, Lieutenant.”

  During a siege battle, the commander ends up busy no matter what. Since command can’t be left to someone running on no sleep, Tanya has been making time for it as much as possible, but there’s only so much she can do.

  As Serebryakov burrows into her bed, Tanya rubs her tired eyes and heads for the semi-submerged bunker functioning as their command post.

  “Time to swap out, Major Weiss. I’ll take command.”

  “Thank you. No major enemy actions to report. They appear to be positioning units for an attack.”

  As they have their handoff exchange, Tanya wishes her adjutant wasn’t asleep. A cup of coffee would perk me up about now…

  She shakes her head and moves on.

  “What industrious foes we have. Though I’m thankful for the time to get ready, these guys seem to enjoy picking on the weak—and they seem intent on bullying us with their large numbers. I understand the tastes of the John Bulls all right, but why are the Commies hopping on the bandwagon?”

  She meant it as a light joke, but Weiss merely winces politely, maintaining his silence.

  “Honestly, these international Communists. They could at least pretend to be pacifists.”

  “Colonel, you don’t really think…?”

  “I don’t, but isn’t it natural that I want them to take their official stance seriously?”

  Just as Weiss is about to nod his agreement…

  The report of a single cannon rings out in the distance.

  It’s a familiar sound to us all. Aside from those who drifted off into eternal slumber, who on the eastern front could forget the sound of Federation heavy artillery?

  “…Sorry, but prepare for war.”

  “Yes, ma’am, right away.”

  “Get everybody up! Here they come!”

  Ever since the trench battles of the Rhine, it has been standard to wake everyone if the enemy shows up.

  And all across Soldim 528, the troops curse the alarm clock of enemy artillery—We were just changing shifts!—jump out of bed, and man their positions.

  “…So the enemy doesn’t have the resources to rain a storm of shells down on us, either? Good. The battalion will fight for aerial superiority and intercept the enemy mages.”

  “Who’s in command?”

  Tanya responds to Weiss’s nervous inquiry with a smile. “Don’t worry; I’m not leaving you out. I’m going to let Captain Meybert do it like last time. The artillery doesn’t have anything to do, so let him take command.”

  “It’s an honor.”

  Where did that reserved demeanor from before go? Apparently, judging by this warmonger’s ferocious carnivore-like grin, he enjoys being on the front lines. I took him out to strike at the enemy position earlier, but apparently, he wasn’t satisfied… Frankly, I can’t comprehend being happy about learning that I won’t be staying behind at the command post.

  But this is war.

  The front lines need people like him.

  “Okay, Major Weiss, you’re up. Captain Meybert, keep doing what you’ve been doing. I’ll grab Lieutenant Serebryakov and round up the battalion… If you’re late, we’re leaving without you.”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  With a salute, he hurriedly grabs a receiver. Tanya leaves him, dashing out of the bunker to head for the square on the base designated as the battalion’s marshaling point.

  Everyone is already there. It’s impressive no matter how many times you see it.

  The absence of First Lieutenant Grantz’s company and the presence of First Lieutenant Wüstemann’s has already become something familiar. And it seems Serebryakov has managed to make it on time as well.

  Setting aside the officers, however… Did some of them literally just wake up? A few of the mages have awful bed head. Tanya always firmly insists that paying minimal attention to appearance is a fundamental part of being a member of civilized society, but it’s never clear-cut whether it’s best to let this sort of thing slide in the case of an enemy attack.

  “All units are present, ma’am!”

  “Thank you, Lieutenant Serebryakov.”

  As they exchange mechanical salutes, I internally fret about how to give this particular advice. Fires or earthquakes are unforeseen, so some slack is acceptable, but during wartime, an enemy attack doesn’t just come out of nowhere… It’s a serious question whether Tanya should lower her standards or not.

  I also have to wonder if this is really the time to be thinking about this sort of thing. But even if “a sloppy uniform betrays a sloppy mind” is a bit of nonsense, neglecting one’s appearance is a slippery slope for civilized individuals.

  Faced with uncivilized Commies and the anti-civilization Being X, I, as modern citizen Tanya, do ultimately feel the need to say something.

  “Troops, I get the sense many of you just woke up. I think our battalion is fairly strict about appearances…but apparently, the enemy artillery mixed up the timing of their morning wake-up call.” Aware that snapping at them would be unreasonable, Tanya points out the issue in a roundabout way while making them laugh with a little joke. “Even if a visitor is unexpected, you can’t very well go to greet them in your pajamas, right? Take care to dress yourselves like civilized individuals.”

  Small habits lead to big differences. Heinrich’s Law is practically a rule of thumb, but that doesn’t make it any less correct. Humans are always haunted by limits. In order to push those limits and achieve
a high-average performance, Tanya requires her subordinates to abide by regulations at all times.

  Habit is truly the golden rule for success.

  “All right, Lieutenant Serebryakov, Lieutenant Wüstemann. Major Weiss should be here shortly, but to fill you in, we’re going to intercept the enemy mages. We’ll do it just like we did on the Rhine.”

  Tanya briefs the officers on the situation. Really, it’s just a formal confirmation of the notification she got from Weiss…but there’s meaning in doing these checks.

  Deviating from standard procedure often results in laziness.

  That said, Tanya smiles at her trustworthy subordinates; I’m sure there’s no need to worry about these veterans.

  “Lieutenant Serebryakov, this is business as usual.”

  “Yes, ma’am, business as usual.”

  “…And as usual, I can rest easy knowing you’re here.”

  This is just praising her accumulated experience. Serebryakov must not be used to getting complimented, and Tanya winces at her puzzled expression.

  Her praise not getting through to her people is an oversight.

  As a young child reading a biography of Nightingale, I didn’t really understand why she said that her last remaining nurse in Crimea was worth more than gold, but now it makes perfect sense. It’s just what you would expect from a great reformer who contributed so much to the field of statistics. Human capital has value whether you’re a nurse or a military officer—indeed, it has universal value regardless of profession.

  In that sense, Serebryakov has most definitely accumulated human capital greater than, as Nightingale put it, the value of her weight in gold.

  “…Don’t look at me like you find that strange. It may not always seem like it, but I do rely on you.”

  “Th-thank you, ma’am!”

  I should find a good time to arrange a thank-you gift. Tanya makes a mental note to get ahold of some chocolate or something in the rear.

  The real problem is… Tanya turns to face the commander of the replacement company who seems to have relaxed substantially since his first battle.

  “Lieutenant Wüstemann: Don’t overdo it. For starters, just follow me. I’ll make sure you come out all right.”

  “Understood!”

  For better or worse, the eager fellow is a green company commander. Though he has combat experience, he’s still far from the point where he can be trusted to do things on his own, at least by Tanya’s standards.

  That said, even the hardheaded First Lieutenant Tospan turned out to have his uses.

  In terms of raw materials, it’s not as if Wüstemann is inferior, so as long as Tanya makes proper use of him, he won’t be worthless.

  Young personnel lack experience, but they make up for it with enthusiasm. What they need is the appropriate education. On that point, Tanya has some modest confidence in her results. As the educator who cultivated Serebryakov and Grantz, surely it’s her right to be proud of her skills.

  All Wüstemann needs is a little bit of time and attention to reason.

  “I like that attitude, Lieutenant.”

  “Thank you, ma’am!”

  “Here’s something you should know, Lieutenant: War often comes down not to scoring the highest points but having the best average. It’s easier to survive if you grind down your weaknesses. That’s what you should work on.”

  “I see—I’ll keep that in mind, ma’am.”

  Tanya nods in satisfaction. It’s rare for someone to be so genuine.

  “Sorry I kept you waiting, Colonel.”

  “There you are, Major. We nearly left without you.”

  I sense a measure of ease in the way he jokingly pleads for mercy. You really can rely on personnel who have experience.

  “This’ll work out just fine. I’ll keep an eye on Lieutenant Wüstemann. The rest are yours, Major Weiss. We’re going to intercept the enemy.”

  It’s rough to wage war while needing to look out for your allies. It’s reminiscent of on-the-job training for new employees. But in a war, people’s lives are on the line. It’s fine if I have the leeway to cover for them, but… Tanya is constantly compelled to be miserable.

  This is why it hurts so much to lose Grantz’s company—to the point that I can’t help but complain in my head. With all due respect, General von Zettour, curse you.

  “What shall I do, ma’am?”

  “Lieutenant Serebryakov, you’ll do the same as me. Support Lieutenant Wüstemann.” Tanya responds to her adjutant, swallowing her other thought—You can never have too much backup—as she guides the battalion into the sky after their skillful takeoff.

  The fundamental task of achieving air superiority is about gaining altitude—though ascending isn’t so simple when enemy mages are coming to attack.

  Is the enemy taking their time for some reason? I can’t help but wonder when we’re allowed to go up in formation rather than scramble while being harassed.

  “…There’s too much time between the artillery fire and the charge. Were the guns not calibrated?”

  If nothing else, this is a good chance to test the replacement company’s combat discipline—something I’ve been anxious about.

  The fact that they’re managing, just barely, to operate their Elinium Arms Type 97 Assault Computation Orbs and maintain stable flight makes Tanya emotional.

  At the same time, it sends a chill up her spine.

  “So it’s a war of amateurs against amateurs, huh? We’re wasting way too much human capital…”

  The poor versus the poor, and on top of that, amateurs versus amateurs. The war is becoming about as total as it can get.

  In the prewar Imperial Army, the training for aerial mages met such standards that even a newly minted mage could be entrusted to do artillery observation on their own. Now, as exemplified by nearly getting shot at mistakenly the other day, the situation has deteriorated to the point where we instead have no choice but to entrust newly minted mages with the job.

  There’s no time for a proper education. The veterans who would provide it have been sent to the front lines. As a result, the baby chicks get sent to the front with their training incomplete and hustled off into a turkey shoot.

  The evil cycle of attrition is complete. If there’s anything we can do at the local level, it’s to secure a decent retention—that is, survival—rate. Yes, I need to do everything in my power to ensure the continued existence of my meat shields. Tanya takes out her binoculars, does a quick scan of the sky, and begins observing the enemy’s movements.

  “…They’re certainly going by the book.”

  Climb while forming up in midair, then meet the enemy. Both sides will face off, maintaining a certain number of troops on the front.

  Compared to our formation, the Federation one seems to have more personnel more closely packed together.

  The Imperial Army can almost never compete with the Federation’s when it comes to sheer quantity of resources, but in the realm of magic, where the Federation shot itself in the foot, the Empire had managed to maintain qualitative and quantitative superiority for quite some time. Now, though, it seems that the numerical balance is shifting toward equilibrium.

  “…The Federation’s no slouch.”

  What a deplorable state of affairs.

  I have little distaste for beating on weaker enemies, but competing against an evenly matched opponent is far from pleasant. It’s always better if you can finish a job with minimal effort, let alone a war. What a terrible situation this has become.

  “Enemy fire!”

  In response to the warning, Tanya follows the usual protocol and orders the counterattack. “01 to all units, return fire!”

  Since it’s extremely long-range, the fire is concentrated optical sniper formulas. That said, the tyranny of distance wreaks merciless havoc on the accuracy and power of the incoming fire.

  As we need to pay attention to our remaining formula bullets, both sides are just taking potshots at each other�
��what a headache.

  “Tch! The distance makes this hardly worth th—” Mid-gripe about the wastefulness, Tanya spots a dramatic shift in the enemy movements. “Ngh?! The Commie mages are rushing us?!”

  They’ve broken their battle line, or left formation entirely, for a reckless strike. It’s like a runaway charge.

  “Did they lose control? How could their discipline get so…?”

  Wüstemann’s uneasy comment gives Tanya pause. It’s too soon for command to fall into disarray and their formation to collapse. She’s heard the rumors that long-range firefights grate on the nerves of rookies, but even so, the enemy can’t have suffered that many losses yet.

  “Did their recruits get restless…? It’s known to happen, but…” Tanya is glaring at the enemy, deep in thought, knowing that something isn’t right, when she suddenly shouts, “No!”

  They began their charge after we formed up in the sky!

  This is bad!

  “Move! We gotta get out of here!” Tanya shouts without regard for appearances.

  “Huh?”

  But she’s met with Wüstemann’s hesitation and confusion. How can you be so dense?! We’re above friendly units. We did the same thing to the Federation Army, so how could you forget?!

  In a rare fit of lost composure, Tanya shrieks at her unit. “01 to all units! Accelerate to full speed! Don’t let this turn into a melee over our base!”

  It’s an abrupt order, but Weiss’s company grasps her intentions and begins to charge. Serebryakov follows so as not to let them pull ahead and become isolated.

  If they were to get into a scuffle with the enemy above the imperial position, the potential for stray shots impacting below would jump considerably. We can’t have someone accidentally blow up our own troops with a misfired formula, and though we want support from below, if our allies down there start shooting now, we’re liable to get hit.