by Lacey Black
I startle awake sometime in the night and look up to see Brooklyn’s blue eyes on me. I sit straight up and give her a smile. She reaches her hands up towards me, wanting me to pick her up. I have no clue if that’s allowed or not, but I don’t really care. I want to hold my baby girl. Careful of the cords and tubes, I gently pick her up and set her on my lap, reaching over and grabbing the monkey too. I inhale the smell of her shampoo and let the familiarity wash over me.
“Shhh. Mommy’s sweeping,” she says with her finger in front of her mouth.
“Mommy’s very tired, sweetheart. Let’s let her sleep some more, okay?”
She shakes her head and then leans back against my chest. “I sick, Maddox.”
“I know, baby. But you’re going to get better here in the hospital. They’re going to give you medicine to make you feel better.”
“Yep. Where have you been at?” she asks in a quiet voice.
How do I answer this question for a three year old? I guess the only way to go is to tell the truth. “I made your mommy mad at me, and she didn’t want to talk to me.”
“But I miss you.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Bean. More than anything in this world, I’ve missed you and your mom.”
“Mommy cwies.” The knife in my gut twists with each word she says.
“I know. I’m sorry I made your mommy cry.”
“It’s otay.” She snuggles further into my chest, monkey tightly pressed against her. “I wove you, Maddox.”
“I love you too, baby girl.” I kiss the top of her head and settle in, snuggling my girl. Brooklyn falls asleep quickly and doesn’t even stir when the nurses come in to check on her every hour. I finally close my eyes, allowing my exhaustion and stress of worry to override the comfort of holding her.
I slowly come to from the most uncomfortable sleeping position in the world. My legs are stiff, my neck and back are throbbing, and my arms are numb. It all comes back to me quickly. I’m sleeping against Brooklyn’s hospital bed. I open my eyes and recognize that Brooklyn’s bed is empty. I sit up straight and feel the panic setting in. I look around for any sign of my daughter and am startled when I finally see her.
Brooklyn is sleeping in the other chair, curled up against Maddox. Maddox. He’s sleeping in the chair, neck uncomfortably angled down on top of Brooklyn’s head. When did she wake up? How in the world did I not hear her?
I watch them for a few minutes, wishing that the fluttering in my stomach would go away. The sight of him after three of the longest weeks of my life has left me a little unsettled. Mom mentioned that he came with Jake yesterday, but why is he still here?
As I watch him sleep, his eyes flutter open. Once he processes where he’s at, his beautiful chocolate eyes lock on mine, and I feel the breath being sucked out of my lungs. His gaze is intense and burns into me. My whole body becomes heated with just the touch of his gaze.
“What are you doing here?” I ask quietly, not wanting to wake Brooklyn.
“I came to check on Brooklyn…and you.”
“Have you been here all night?”
“Most of it. She woke up around midnight and wanted to be held. She’s been out ever since though.”
“I can’t believe I slept so long. Did they say how she did through the night?”
“No, but they didn’t indicate anything troubling when they were here. They checked on her every hour.”
I look around, not really sure what to say now. He stayed all night with us? Does that mean he still cares for me, for us?
“I think I’m going to take a shower before she wakes up. I haven’t taken one since Sunday, and I feel completely gross.”
“You’ve never looked more beautiful,” Maddox states. I have no idea how to respond to that. So I just give him a little smile and go gather up the bag that Jake brought up here yesterday.
I feel like a completely new person after a hot shower in the tiny bathroom in Brooklyn’s room. Well, that and a full night’s sleep. When I exit the bathroom, Brooklyn is back in her bed, sleeping peacefully. Maddox is looking out the window, shirt raised up and showing off his toned lower back as he stretches.
“I almost feel human again,” I say as I comb through my wet hair. He spins around and looks me over, touching every part of my body with his eyes. “Thank you for bringing me clothes and stuff yesterday. I really appreciate it.”
He walks towards me and stops in front of me. He’s close enough that I could reach out and touch him for the first time in weeks. “You’re welcome.” His eyes search my face, looking for what, I don’t know. There’s so much I want to tell him. I’m sorry. I miss him. I love him.
He clears his throat. “I was wondering, when you guys get sprung from this place and get settled at home, do you think you might want to have dinner with me?” He looks deeply into my eyes with so much hope.
“You mean, like a date?”
“Yeah, like a date. But, I should warn you that we won’t be alone. I already made plans with someone else for that night.” I stand straight up, looking at him curiously, panic starting to rise. “See, I’ve already made the date with a beautiful little blond first. She made me promise that I’d take her for pizza as soon as she was feeling better. And if there’s one thing I can’t break, it’s a promise to my girl.” He smiles the most beautiful smile.
I can’t control the wide smile that spreads across my face. Without even one more thought, I leap into his arms and slam my lips against his. I melt against his hard body, my hands diving into his hair. God, how I’ve missed this man. He deepens the kiss, plunging his tongue inside of my mouth, all while holding me up in the air against him. Being with him, in his arms, is my heaven. There’s no other place I want to be.
He breaks the kiss before it gets too carried away. I can already feel his need for me hard against my core. “You will never, ever share me, Avery, with anyone else. Ever. I am yours in every possible way.”
“And I am yours. I love you so much, Maddox.”
He closes his eyes as if savoring those words that just came from my lips. “I love you, too, baby. You and Brooklyn. You two are the most important people in my life. Nothing is going to get in the way of us again.” The tears are streaming down my face. He uses the pad of his thumbs to gently wipe them away before he bends down to kiss me again. “Say it again,” he says with a smile against my lips.
“I love you.”
“That’s the best damn thing ever, hearing that come from your lips.”
There’s a knock at the door and a nurse enters. “Sorry to interrupt. It’s almost shift change,” she says with a pointed look to Maddox as she walks in to take Brooklyn’s vitals.
He bends down and kisses my lips one more time. It’s soft and sweet and full of promise. “I gotta go.”
“Wait. Where are you going?” I can’t help the panic that is rising in my chest. We just found our way back to each other again. How could he be leaving?
“I’m just going to the waiting room. I’m not supposed to be in here, remember?” he says with a sly grin.
“That’s right. You’re not family,” I say.
“Nope.” He bends down kisses Brooklyn on the forehead and runs his hand along her hairline. Then he stands up and walks back over to me. “Not yet. I’ll have to do something about that, won’t I?” He bends and kisses me again on the lips and walks out the door.
*****
Brooklyn is discharged two days later on Thanksgiving Day. My dad is coming to get us while Mom is at home getting ready for tonight’s big meal. All of my brothers were able to work out their schedules to be there tonight. Maddox and Jake are working now, but will be off in just enough time for dinner at six.
As we head back towards Rivers Edge, it feels like I haven’t been home in forever. It’s been four nights since I slept in my own bed and showered in my own tub. Brooklyn was a trooper, though. Maddox was with us all day Tuesday, sneaking in and out of the room whenever he could after charming the nur
ses into ignoring his presence. Wednesday he had to return to work, but that just allowed me to focus on Brooklyn and helping her get well enough to go home. He sent texts and called me all day long yesterday, though, and even came back after he got off work last night.
Brooklyn still has a pesky cough that they say could stay with her for awhile. She’ll also be on a portable Nebulizer machine that Maddox picked up from the local medical supply store. He even went to the pharmacy and filled the prescriptions for her medications. Even though he has to work tomorrow, I’m hoping he’ll stay at my place tonight. We have yet to steal any alone time together since Brooklyn’s hospitalization. Every time we’d find a corner somewhere, one of my brothers or a nurse would interrupt. I’m pretty sure my brothers did it on purpose, though.
“Do you want me to drop you off at your house so you can get your Jeep?”
“No thanks, Dad. Maddox is driving his truck out, and we’ll just go with him when it’s time to leave.” Dad keeps his eyes on the road, but I could tell he was itching to say something. “Just say it, Dad.”
“Does Maddox make you happy?” He looks over at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road.
“More than anything.”
“That’s all I wanted to hear. He’s a good boy, and he’ll take good care of you and Brooklyn.”
“We’ll take care of each other, Dad.” I lean over and kiss is scruffy cheek. “Thanks for being the best example and best Dad possible. I love you.”
He smiles and looks my way again. “I love you, too, Avery.”
We arrive at my parent’s house with strict orders for Brooklyn to take it easy. Will is already there so he takes her into the living room and settles her on the couch. He pulls out a gift bag, saying it’s because she was such a good girl while in the hospital. He filled it with crayons and coloring books, a doll with doll clothes, a princess movie, and new mermaid bath toys.
“Tank you, Uncle Will!” she says with a slight wheeze and cough at the end.
“Oh, you are so welcome, Bean. Who’s your favorite Uncle?”
Brooklyn giggles and says, “You are,” before throwing her arms around his neck. Will settles on the couch with her to watch the new movie while I head into the kitchen to help my mom.
“What can I do?” I ask as I step in the kitchen, senses on overload from all the delicious aromas.
“Why don’t you cut up the sweet potatoes and put them in that pan.”
“You got it.” As I set out to wash the sweet potatoes, grab the cutting board and a sharp knife, I can’t help but hum along to the song on the radio.
“You seem to be in a good mood lately.”
A huge smile crosses my face. “I am.”
“So I take it you and Maddox have worked out your differences?”
“We’re trying. We both have some stuff to work through, but we both want to try. I have to learn to trust him completely which I’ve been struggling with. I know in my heart that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I have to believe in his love and lean on it when things get tough.”
My mom is silent so I look up to see if she’s even paying attention. There’s a peaceful smile across her face. “I knew the first day I met that boy when he tore through this house like a tornado with Jake and Nate that he was special. When he got older and out of school, he was a bit of a tomcat.” I blushed at my mom’s analogy. “Oh, stop it, girl. You know it was true. That boy bounced around from girl to girl without a glance back. Just like your brother. It drives me crazy. But my point is that no matter what he was up to, when he was here, I could see a different look in his eyes when he was around you. The way he looked at you, even when you were in high school and he was just out of the military, showed me that he looked at you as more than a little sister. He looked at you like you were the one that he would change everything for.”
My eyes fill up with tears as I listen to my mom talk. “Of course, he’s a stubborn man so it took him awhile to realize it and stop fighting it. But, I’m so glad he finally did. He’s the perfect complement to you, Avery. You guys will be just fine.” And with that, the tears stream down my cheeks. I walk over to my mom, one of my best friends, and hug her tightly around the neck.
“I love you, Mom.”
“And I love you, too, baby girl.” She takes a step back. “Now, this food won’t cook itself and there’s nothing worse than a house full of hungry, cranky men. So, let’s get this done and enjoy our holiday.”
“You got it.”
*****
At quarter after five, the final two trucks pull into the drive. Jake steps out first, quickly followed by Maddox. They’re both in their uniforms but carry bags with clothes to change into.
When they hit the front door, Jake hollers, “I’ve got the first shower.” He takes off up the stairs. I walk into the foyer and smile at the sight of this tall, dark, devastatingly handsome man, in uniform no less, that is all mine. He returns the smile and drops his bag, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me against him. His lips descend on mine a moment later.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he says against my lips.
“I’ve missed you too,” I reply as I go back for another delicious kiss.
“Knock it off, you two,” I hear Nate reprimand from behind me as he passes from the dining room into the family room. I turn and give him a shy smile, not ready to leave Maddox’s warm embrace. We stand there for a few minutes, just reveling in each other’s warmth.
“Where’s my girl?” Maddox asks, finally breaking the spell.
“She’s on the couch watching a movie with Will. Though all the boys are in there now so I’m guessing she’s already lost the TV to football.”
“Let’s go see. I want to give her a kiss,” he says as he walks me into the family room. The sight before us is amazing and completely hysterical. My dad is reclined in his easy chair, Nate is sitting in Mom’s chair, and Travis, Will, and Brooklyn are curled up on the couch; all still watching the princess movie. I can’t help but laugh.
“This is the funniest football game I’ve ever seen.”
“We tried to turn it,” Travis says.
“But she threatened to make Jake her favorite uncle,” Nate chimed in. Maddox and I laugh hard as he walks over to the couch to Brooklyn.
“Maddox!” Brooklyn stands up on the couch and throws herself at him. The excitement has her coughing a little, but Maddox rubs a soothing hand up and down her back to calm her.
The boys take the distraction as an opportunity to turn on the pre-game show for tonight’s Thanksgiving game.
“I’ve missed you today. Were you a good girl?”
“Yep! Uncle Will bwought me pwesents for being good!”
“He did? Well, that was nice of him.”
Jake comes down the stairs at that moment. “Shower’s yours,” he says to Maddox as he takes Brooklyn from him. “Give your favorite uncle a big kiss.”
“She already gave me one,” Travis says as Brooklyn plants a big kiss on Jake’s cheek.
Maddox heads up the stairs to shower. The boys are all engrossed in the football game, and Brooklyn is playing on the couch with her new doll and doll clothes, so I head into the kitchen to help mom with final dinner preparations.
“It’s almost ready, honey. Will you set the table?”
“Absolutely.” I gather up the plates, silverware, and napkins and head into the dining room.
When the table is all set and the food is brought to the table, Mom goes into the family room to gather the troops. As I’m pouring glasses of water, Maddox comes down the stairs, hair still damp from his shower. He slides up behind me and presses his lips against my neck.
“I can’t wait to dig into this food. I’m starving.” He trails slow kisses from my neck down to my collarbone, hands wrapped around my waist. “But do you know what I’m looking forward to the most?”
“What’s that?” I ask a little breathless.
“Dessert.”
“Oh, there’s going to be dessert,” I inform him. “Remember that black lace corset we saw in the window at the mall?” His eyebrows shoot sky high, a look of excitement crosses his face. “Well, it might be hanging in my closet as we speak.”
His pupils dilate and his smile turns wolfish. “I can’t fucking wait for dessert,” he says has he gives me a long, lingering kiss.
“Knock that shit off,” Jake thunders as he enters the dining room. “Just because I gave my blessing doesn’t mean you can get all grabby with my sister when I’m present.” He walks over and pulls out his chair. “If fact, you’re never allowed to talk about as much as a kiss with her. Let’s just go with the assumption that you two never touch.”
“Oh, we touch…a lot,” Maddox throws him a big grin earning a loud growl from Jake.
Will brings Brooklyn into the dining room, and I help get her settled in the booster seat between me and Maddox. After everyone is seated, Dad says Grace before standing to carve the turkey. Mom is a genius in the kitchen. Not only can she bake, but she can cook anything. Besides turkey, we feast on mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, Jell-O salad, and of course, Mom’s famous homemade yeast rolls.
Conversations flow and bowls are passed. My family puts a big dent in the amount of food sitting around the table, but there is still plenty food left for leftovers. Mom and I start on dishes as Nate and Travis set out to clear the table and divide up the leftover food.
“Did you think I didn’t notice all the rolls going into your bag, Travis?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Avery. I would never just keep all the delicious rolls for myself. Mom told me that I could have them all since I was her favorite.”
“Bullshit,” Nate coughs as he walks by with a stack of plates in his hands. I reach my hand in and remove a few rolls and throw them in my bag, giving him a look to let him know I’m watching him.
After the table is cleared, dishes are washed or in the dishwasher, and the desserts are set out on the counter, we all head into the family room to watch the end of the football game. Jake gets up so Mom can sit in her chair and sits on the love seat next to Nate. Travis, Will, and Maddox are sitting on the couch with Brooklyn on Maddox’s lap. I head over to the couch with the intention of sitting on the floor, but Maddox has other ideas. He moves Brooklyn over so she’s sitting on one leg and slaps his other leg indicating he wants me to sit. There’s no place I’d rather be than snuggled up on Maddox’s lap with my daughter at my side. This is my home.