by Lacey Black
“Mom wasn’t sure. Avery called the on-call doctor and he’s supposed to be meeting them in the ER. Mom promised to call when she had more info.”
It was quiet for the next several hours, Jake and I each lost in our own thoughts. We tried to focus on work, but neither of us did a very good job of it. I wrote the wrong offense on a traffic stop, twice, for the same guy, and Jake was going to issue a speeding ticket to an eighty year old man who was going ten miles an hour under the speed limit.
Jake checked in with his mom around dinner time, but she still didn’t have any answers. The pediatrician was leaning towards pneumonia, but they were waiting on the radiologist to read the X-rays to confirm.
At quarter to nine, his phone finally rang. Jake answered it as quickly as possible and listened as his mom updated him on Brooklyn’s condition. After he hung up, he filled me in on the latest.
“Apparently she has pneumonia. It’s pretty severe, and moved very quickly into her lungs. Mom says she’s at REMC right now, but they could be sending her to St. Charles. They have a big pediatric wing there, I guess.”
My throat constricts the breath I’m trying to suck into my lungs. I know pneumonia is bad, especially in little kids and the elderly. My heart rate spikes and I start to sweat uncontrollably. What if something happens to Brooklyn?
“As soon as we’re done with paperwork, I’m heading to the hospital. They won’t let me in because she’s in ICU, but I want to be there in the waiting room with everyone.”
“Go now. I’ll drop you off at your truck, and then I’ll head inside to file the paperwork. I’m sure the captain will understand. I’ll do your part. You need to be with everyone else right now.” I speed up slightly to get to the station. When I pull up along the back bumper of his truck, I’m barely stopped before his door flies open.
“Jake! Keep me posted.”
“I will, buddy.” And with that he’s gone. I drive up and park the cruiser in its usual spot. I wander inside to finish up the end of shift duties and stop by my Lieutenant’s office to fill him in on Jake’s phone call. I’m trying to hurry through as much of the paperwork as possible without making any mistakes. When I’m finished, I fly out to my truck and head towards the hospital.
When I pull in the almost deserted parking lot, I park next to Jake’s truck and head inside. Inside the elevator, I push the button for the second floor, remembering that Jake said she was in the Intensive Care Unit.
I reach the waiting area and see the entire Stevens family sitting there, offering comfort to each other with shoulder slaps and one armed hugs. Michael has his arms around Elizabeth as she gently cries in her seat. Jake sees me and walks over.
“You just missed Avery. They’re moving her to St. Charles. They started an aggressive round of antibiotics here, but her doctor wants her to get more extensive drugs and stuff at the bigger hospital. They’re taking her by ambulance in a few minutes. They’ll only allow two people there so Mom’s going with them.”
“Is she going to be okay?” I ask, my voice small and full of fear.
“I don’t know. It’s aggressive, but they’re hopeful that she got her to the hospital in enough time to get the drugs in her as quickly as possible. Right now, they’re trying to get her fever down so they can transport her. But I know in my heart that that little girl is a fighter like her mom, so she’s gonna pull through just fine.”
“And she gets it from her Uncle Jake,” I say as I slap a hand on his shoulder and give him a little squeeze.
“When they get her in the rig, Dad, my brothers, and I are gonna head home and try to get some sleep. We want to head over to St. Charles in the morning, even if we are just stuck in a damn waiting room there too. Since I’m the closest to Avery’s place, I’m gonna swing by and grab some clothes for her and Bean.”
“I’ll go with you.”
Jake looks up at me with concern in his eyes. “This must be difficult for you, too.”
“Yeah, I’m experiencing emotions I didn’t even know possible. That little girl means everything to me. Just the thought of something happening to her makes me lose my ever-loving mind.” I rub the tension between my eyes and try to think of anything else besides my little girl lying in a hospital bed. I realize at this moment that that is exactly what she is. She’s my little girl, and I love her more than anyone can love a child.
“She’s gonna be okay,” Jake says squeezing my shoulder in return.
“Guys, they’re moving her,” Will says at the entrance of the waiting room. I stand with her entire family as we watch the nursing staff wheel Brooklyn out of her room, towards the elevator.
I see a very warn out Avery step out of the room following closely behind the gurney carrying her daughter towards the elevator. Our eyes lock and she seems surprised to see me. Elizabeth steps forward to join her daughter and granddaughter in the elevator. My eyes remain locked on her crystal blue eyes that are red rimmed from crying. She tears up as our eyes have a conversation of their own. I see the fear and the uncertainty in her eyes, and I pray she can see the fear and love in my own. A tear slides unchecked down her cheek before she returns her attention to the nurse, and they all step inside the elevator. I have to restrain myself from running and throwing my arms securely around her. They disappear from my sights, enveloped in the elevator that is taking them down a floor towards the waiting ambulance. I’ve lost sight of the love of my life as my own tears slide down my cheeks.
Jake and I meet at Avery’s place to grab some clothes and personal items for both Avery and Brooklyn. Jake heads into Brooklyn’s room while I tackle Avery’s. Once I step inside, I’m assaulted with memories and scents of Avery. I can smell her vanilla lotion and my mind is flooded with memories. Avery’s body pressed against mine as we talked before going to sleep. Taking Avery against the back of the door after our first date. Avery sleeping on the pillow next to me. I want all this again. I want to make new memories. But first, I need to gather up some of her stuff for her stay in the hospital. If I know Avery at all, she won’t leave Brooklyn’s side so she’ll need anything I can grab.
I pull open her drawers and start to grab a few pairs of underwear, socks and a bra. I see the red lace thong that she wore that night before it all went bad. I shove it aside and reach for the more comfortable pairs she has in there. I throw a pair of jeans and her comfy yoga pants on the bed, followed by her favorite hoodie and a few t-shirts. I know she’s already wearing her tennis shoes so I don’t bother with more shoes.
I head into the bathroom and grab a brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and a hair tie that is sitting by the sink. I’m not sure if she wants any make-up or not, so I just grab the little bag of girly face stuff sitting on the shelf above the toilet. I see Brooklyn’s toothbrush sitting there so I throw that in the bag, too.
I head back to Avery’s room to bag up all the stuff as Jake comes in. He’s got a little pink bag stuffed with some clothes. As we gather up the belongings and head towards the door, I stop at the entrance to Brooklyn’s room and take a peek inside. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the stuffed monkey sitting on her bed from our arcade trip. I walk in, snatch it up, and stuff it in the bag. Then we head out the door, each heading home for what is sure to be another long, sleepless night.
*****
Jake calls me the next morning at six and says they are working out travel arrangements. Will is going to drive his car with his dad, Travis, and Nate all riding along. Jake decides he wants to drive and offers for me to ride with him.
When he pulls into the drive at eight o’clock, I’m ready to go. I jump in the truck and can’t help but laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Jake asks.
“I was just thinking that if we were waiting on Avery, we wouldn’t be leaving for at least another half hour.”
Jake laughs. “Yeah, that girl has never been on time for anything in her life. Hell, she was even a week late when she had Bean.”
We ride to St. Charles in most
ly comfortable silence, making small talk every once in awhile to pass the time. We pull into a parking spot and head inside the much larger hospital. Michael, Nate, Will and Travis are all waiting by the elevator for us.
“She’s in room P214,” Michael said. “They won’t let us in the room, but there’s a waiting room down the hall. Will just sent a text to Liz to let her know we were here and that we’d be in there waiting for an update.” We all climb into the elevator and head up a floor. The hallways change as soon as we hit the pediatric wing. What were once ivory walls and ivory tile floors is now brightly painted halls with cartoon character murals. We find the waiting room and all get comfortable for the long day of waiting.
An hour later, Elizabeth comes into the room. She looks exhausted but still manages a warm smile. Michael stands up and goes to his wife, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the lips. Each boy stands and goes over to hug their mother. I give her a kiss on the cheek after all the boys are done, and she returns my gesture with a smile and a pat on my cheek.
“How’s she doing?” Michael asks.
“She’s fighting. They have her on some very aggressive antibiotics and steroids right now which makes her very sleepy. She’s slept practically since the moment we got here last night.”
“And Avery?” I ask.
“I wish I could say the same for her,” she says with a small smile. “She hasn’t slept a wink since we got here. She’s so scared that if she falls asleep Brooklyn might wake up and she’d miss it.”
“What about you, Mom? How are you holding up?” Travis asks.
“Oh, I’m fine. I just wish there was something I could do. The hardest thing a parent goes through is watching their child or grandchild suffer or struggle.”
“Can we go in?” Michael asks.
“Yes, one at a time. They will only allow family, though,” she adds as she looks at me.
“That’s okay. As long as she’s still in there fighting and getting better, that’s all I need right now,” I reply.
“Dad, why don’t you go first,” Will says. Michael nods and gives his wife another sweet kiss on the lips. Then he heads down the hallway towards Brooklyn.
The rest of us settle back into our seats. Elizabeth fills us all in on the ambulance ride and about Brooklyn getting settled into her room. Jake gets his mom a cup of coffee from the little kitchen nook in the corner of the waiting room while Travis and Will decide to go for a walk.
Elizabeth comes over and sits next to me. “I’m so glad you’re here. I know Avery is comforted by it, too.”
“How does she know I’m here?”
“I mentioned that you were with Jake after Will’s text to let me know you were all here. She misses you, you know.”
I look up at Elizabeth’s smiling light blue eyes and return her smile. “I miss her, too. Both of them.”
She reaches over and takes my hand in hers. “Don’t give up on her, Maddox. I really do believe that you are the one. The only man who can fix what is broken within her heart.” She squeezes my hand lightly before she takes the cup of coffee that Jake returns with.
A little bit later, Michael returns to the room and signals for Jake to go next. Jake picks up the bags of personal stuff sitting next to my chair. I reach down and grab the stuffed monkey from the top of Avery’s bag.
“Here, give this to Brooklyn for me.” I hand Jake the animal.
“I will.” He squeezes my shoulder and heads out towards Brooklyn’s room.
While Nate is back in the room, the last brother to go see his niece and sister, Jake and I decide to run down to the deli and grab sandwiches for everyone. It’s well after noon, and even though no one is really hungry, we know that everyone needs to eat.
Jake and I get to the deli and order eight ham and cheese sandwiches, bags of chips, and an assortment of drinks.
“I don’t think she’s gonna eat, but I’m hoping with some food in front of her, Avery will at least pick at it and get something in her stomach.”
I give Jake an agreeing nod and glance back up at the menu. That’s when I see it. “Throw in an order of cheese fries, please. Extra cheese.”
Jake gives me a knowing smile and whips out his debit card. After we have all the food, we make our way back up to the second floor waiting room. Elizabeth decides to take her sandwich back into the room and eat with Avery. I put a sandwich, bag of chips, bottle of water, and the cheese fries back in one of the bags for Avery.
“You’re so good to her,” she says as she walks back towards the room.
The afternoon passes quicker than the morning. Everyone takes turns going in and visiting with Avery again. While Will was in there, Brooklyn woke up for a little bit. He said he got to hold her for a few moments while the nursing staff changed her bedding.
Before we know it, it’s after six, and it’s another round of deli sandwiches for everyone. Jake and I are both scheduled to work tomorrow, but after a quick call to our Lieutenant, we trade our shift tomorrow for one on Friday. That leaves us working a five day stretch with two of them being twelve hour shifts and a holiday, but neither of us minds at all. We’d both rather be here, even if it is just sitting in a waiting room.
By eight o’clock, everyone is getting pretty restless. We’ve gone for walks up and down the halls, outside around the courtyard, and down to the cafeteria. We’ve consumed enough caffeine to keep a small army awake for days. We all gather in the waiting room to get ready to head home since visiting hours are over.
I don’t want to go. I don’t care if I’m stuck sitting in this hard plastic seat all night, I’m not leaving. I look over at Jake, and I can tell he knows I’m up to something.
“What?”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Why would you stay? You can’t see them. You might as well go home and sleep in your own bed. We’ll head back up here first thing in the morning.”
“No. I’m not leaving.” Just as I start to defend my decision to Jake, Elizabeth comes into the room.
“Avery’s making me leave for the night. She doesn’t want me to sleep in the chair a second night. Brooklyn has improved a little today, though not completely out of the woods. She’s still sleeping a lot so there’s not much we can do.”
“I think it’s a good idea for you to come home and get a good night’s sleep, honey,” Michael says.
“I know. I just hate leaving them here alone.” Her eyes start to fill with tears. “Avery won’t leave her bedside. It kills me to see her so distraught and helpless.”
“I’m staying,” I say.
“But, you can’t go back there, dear,” Elizabeth states.
“I know. But you can tell the nurses that I’m here in the waiting room so if they need anyone, I’m right here. I’m not leaving.”
Elizabeth gives me a small knowing smile as the boys all gather up their belongings, dispose of the trash, and straighten up the area we’ve just called home for the past twelve hours.
“I’ll go say good night to the girls and tell the nurses that you’re in here.”
A little bit later, Elizabeth comes back. “I’m ready,” she tells her family.
“Nate, you ride with Jake so your mom can ride with me, Travis, and Will.”
“Okay,” Nate replies
Jake comes over to me. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yep, I’m not leaving.”
“You’re a good man, Maddox Jackson.” And with that he slaps my back, turns and heads out of the waiting room with Nate.
As the rest of them start filing out of the room, Elizabeth turns and comes over to me. She speaks in a low, hushed voice and looks around to make sure no one can overhear her. “The doctors are finished making their rounds by nine. The nurses are willing to look the other way after that if you accidentally wander down the hall to room 214.” She gives me wink, followed by a kiss on my cheek and turns to follow everyone else out of the waiting room.
I’m alone again, but this time with the comfo
rting thought that I will get to see my girls in just a little bit.
*****
I force myself to sit in the waiting room until almost ten o’clock. I want to make sure I’m not going to run into trouble from any doctors or hospital administrators. Finally, it’s time for me to make my way to room two-fourteen. I smile at the two nurses sitting at the nurses’ station. They smile back and quickly look back towards their charts.
When I finally get to room two-fourteen, I hesitate at the threshold. What if she doesn’t want me here? What if I upset her more than she already is? Then, that’s fine. I’ll go back to the waiting room and give her space. But, I’m still not leaving this hospital.
“She’s asleep,” I hear quietly behind me. I turn to see a petite older nurse with friendly eyes wearing brightly colored scrubs. “She hasn’t slept a wink since that baby arrived last night. I think exhaustion finally got a hold of her. She fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Thank you,” I say before I step quietly into the room.
The first thing I notice is the small figure sleeping in the big, wide bed. Brooklyn has tubes and wires hanging off her and the sight of her almost brings me to my knees. She’s snuggled up to the stuffed monkey I sent in with Jake. As I approach her bed, I see Avery sleeping in the chair with her head on the side of the bed. She has the chair pulled up and is leaning forward with her head resting on her folded arms. It looks uncomfortable as hell. I want to touch her so bad, but her need to sleep outweighs my need to touch her. I stand there, watching them both sleep. How long? I’m not sure.
After a while, I go sit in the other chair along the wall on the far side of Brooklyn’s hospital bed. I sit at the very edge of the seat, my elbows resting on my knees. I sit there for what could be a few minutes or a few hours, just watching their peaceful sleep.
Every so often a nurse comes in to check Brooklyn’s vitals and distribute more medication through the IV. All the nurses offer me a friendly smile and then go back to politely ignoring my presence in the room.