“Positive.”
“She’s tough,” Z says, taking one of my hands in his. “Squeeze if it hurts. It’ll take your mind off it. Plus, added bonus, you get to inflict pain on me.”
I squeeze once as hard as I can and he chuckles, removes his right hand and replaces it with his left. “On second thought, I better give you my weak hand. You break my right hand and Sara’ll break my other one and then kick my ass.”
His kindness breaks the tension and I give in and look up into his face. I find none of the pity I’d expected. He looks at me like he’s always looked at me. His eyes are a light brown full of warmth or hardness depending on his mood. Right now, they are only warmth as he studies my expression.
“Alright, here we go,” Van says and the sound of the tattoo gun hums to life.
I close my eyes briefly, but Zeke’s voice comes closer. “You got this. Don’t think about it.”
I open my eyes and roll them. Easier said than done.
The first prick of the gun pulls a moan from my lips and I squeeze Zeke’s hand. He returns the pressure and leans down so he’s looking only at my face. I let my lids flutter closed again and try and focus on anything but the sting of pain. It’s not totally unbearable until he hits the first bit of scar tissue. I gasp and Zeke squeezes my hand harder.
“Oh God,” I say quietly.
“Hey, look at me,” Zeke orders.
I do my best to look brave as I open my eyes and stare up at him.
“The clock was the first tattoo I ever got.” His low voice steals my attention and the pain recedes to the background like the hum of the gun. Something about the way he speaks and the look in his eye makes my heart race. “It reminds me that every day, every second counts. Twenty-four hours, eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds.”
“Why six-fifteen?”
He doesn’t answer right away. His jaw ticks and I squeeze his hand.
“That’s what time it was when my dad walked out of my life.”
I try and hide the shock from my face, sure I’m doing a shit job. “That’s awful, why would you want to remember that?”
“Because in an instant, my life changed. So did his. He was a movie director. Is a movie director, I guess. He left when I was eleven. Moved to Hollywood to try and make it big. He succeeded too. He became a hotshot Hollywood director and never looked back. It’s not about the time, though, it’s that at any time things can change on a dime. I don’t want to forget that. Every moment counts.”
I want to ask so many questions, but he smiles at me and I can’t do anything but smile back. He gets it. I’ve thought of him as being someone who doesn’t understand how important it is to seize the day, grab every chance and opportunity by the balls, but that’s not true. He is seizing the day – his priorities are just different. I don’t know if he has it right or if I do, but maybe it doesn’t matter. We’re each living our life focused on what’s important to us.
“All done here,” Van says proudly. “What do you think?” He holds a mirror so I can see the words now inked onto my skin forever.
“I love it.”
14
Zeke
Gabby met me at the tattoo parlor, so we part ways after we’ve paid and thanked Van. I’d sort of assumed, and maybe hoped, Gabby was planning on coming back to The White House, but she’s not here when I get back and an hour later it seems pretty clear she’s not coming.
Me: Where you at? Gabby with you?
I scarf down my sixth meal of the day as I wait for Nathan to respond. The house is quiet, so wherever the party is tonight, it’s not here and if the party isn’t here then neither is Nathan.
Nathan: Nah, Gabby said she didn’t feel like coming out tonight. I’m at Shaw’s dorm playing video games.
Well, shit. There could be a million different reasons she didn’t feel like going out, but something tells me it has everything to do with the vulnerability and emotion I’d seen on her face at the tattoo shop. She’d been nervous and not just about the pain, but about showing me her scars. And those words she’d chosen to have placed on her body forever, Beauty in imperfection. I can’t decide if it’s supposed to be inspiring or depressing.
I groan into the quiet kitchen. I don’t know if I said or did the right thing, maybe this is all my fault. I brace both hands on the counter and replay the night again looking for some inspiration on what to do next.
The back door opens and Gabby steps through, sending my pulse racing. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I respond, too much eagerness in my voice. I step forward and then force myself to stand still.
“I just need to get my stuff. I left a few things in Wes’ room and they get back tomorrow.”
She disappears upstairs before I can think what to say and is back just as fast and heading to the door without more than a nod in my direction.
“Hey, wait, you don’t have to run off. How’s the tattoo? Does it hurt?” I’m well aware I’m rambling, but she stops, so that’s all that matters.
Her steps falter and she turns back to face me. “No, not really.”
“Let’s see.” I close the distance between us in two long strides. She lifts her tank, revealing the bandage still covering her new tattoo. My gaze blazes down and I finally let myself take in the scars I tried so very hard not to see earlier.
They’re extensive. Some have faded more than others, but each one stands out against the rest of her flawless, smooth skin. She doesn’t pull back as I run my thumb just below the bandage. “You can probably take this off now.”
She sets her bag on the counter and then starts to peel back the tape, wincing when it pulls the skin.
“Let me.” Her fingers drop and I step closer. “The tape is a little tricky. Comes off easiest if you peel from the side. There we go.” We both stare down at the fresh blue ink.
“Thank you for holding my hand tonight.”
“It was my pleasure, Gabby.” I pull a beer from the fridge so I have something to do. “You want something to drink?”
She thinks for a moment and then breezes past me and pulls a bottle of tequila from a cabinet. “I think I’m going to need something stronger than beer.”
She finds a glass and pours herself a shot while I lean onto the counter and take a long pull of my beer. “Plans tonight?”
She takes her phone from her front pocket and makes a little humming noise as she glances at it. “No, I don’t see anything appealing for tonight.”
My face must give away my confusion because she turns her phone so I can see the screen. I take the phone. It’s a bulleted list. “Go to a frat party, eat at the campus cafeteria?”
“Don’t read them aloud. It’s embarrassing.” She doesn’t reach to stop me but takes the shot, grimaces, and then covers her face with both hands.
“Ah, is this the list of things you want to do now that you’re at Valley?” I ask, remembering the mention of it the day after the foam party.
“Yes,” she groans. “My pathetic list of things to make me less… well, pathetic.”
“Relax,” I say as I keep reading. “We’ve all got things we want to do. It’s not embarrassing at all.” I believe those words too until I keep reading. My face gets warm and I start to get a very clear picture of why Gabby didn’t want me to say them out loud. Go commando stands out, but so does witness a fight, skinny dip, and lose virginity.
She takes the phone from me before I can finish. I need to bleach my eyes, or maybe my brain, so I can look at her without thinking about her doing all that and more.
“What’s on your list?” She pours another shot.
“Play in the NBA.”
She laughs. “What else?”
I shrug, thinking over the items on her list. I feel a little tinge of sadness that I never thought to make a list for college. Never thought to line up to-dos, never even thought to have things other than ball on any list. One shot. One dream. One chance. Everything else is noise.
“Never? There was ne
ver anything else you wanted besides ball?”
“What can I say, I’m a simple guy. Sure, I thought about other things, tried to picture my life going in another direction, but the only time I ever felt complete was with a basketball in my hand.”
“That’s how finally being at Valley makes me feel. Alive, free, and—”
“Whole,” we say at the same time. She smiles at me and I can’t resist smiling right back at her. She tips back her second shot, grimacing slightly less this time as the liquor goes down.
“You should do everything on your list then, just maybe wait ‘til Blair’s back and can keep an eye on you.”
She rolls her eyes. “And you should add something to your list that pushes you out of your comfort zone.”
“I’m serious.”
“Me too. Just one thing. Name one thing you’d like to do that has nothing to do with basketball.”
I look up and bring a hand to my chin like I’m in deep concentration then back to her, meeting her fierce blue eyes. “Skinny dipping does sound pretty good.”
She grabs the tequila bottle and heads to the back door. “Well, come on then.”
Gabby
“I was kidding,” I say when Zeke calls my bluff.
We stand by the pool looking down at the clear water.
“Well, I’m not getting in there without you,” he says as he takes a seat on the edge of the pool. “Then I’ll just be a creepy dude skinny dipping alone.”
“I can’t get in with my new ink,” I say, but the butterflies in my stomach sure wish I could.
We sit together, letting our feet dangle in the warm water.
“You really did the lettering for your tattoo?” he asks.
“I did.”
“Van was right. You’re really talented.” His hand falls to my wrist and he pulls on the end of one of my bracelets. “I know you made these, too. Blair wears hers proudly.”
I smile as I look down at the friendship bracelets on my arms. Blair and I have been making and wearing them as long as I can remember. “I had a lot of time over the last few years to try a bunch of different things. Hand lettering, pottery – that one didn’t work out as well. I like being creative, though, making beautiful things. Somehow it makes me feel beautiful.”
“You don’t think you’re beautiful?” He shakes his head. “You are one of the most beautiful people I know. You’re fun and kind, and—”
I cut him off. “I know, I know. It’s what’s on the inside that counts. I’m so tired of people telling me that. Is it too much to hope that someone will be able to look past the scars and find me beautiful on the outside too?”
His expression tells me I’ve said too much, and I apologize. “I shouldn’t drink tequila. It removes what little filter I have sober. I’m gonna grab a beer.”
Standing, I take the bottle of tequila with me to the kitchen and exchange it for a Bud Light. Clearly, I need to slow down before I get all emotionally slutty. I hear the door open and I turn, expecting Zeke, but instead find my best friend, practically glowing with a golden tan and beachy hair.
“Hey, I thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow morning.”
She drops her bag and squeezes me hard. “We got an early start this morning. Oh my God, I missed you.” She pulls back. “You smell like tequila. Are you and Nathan getting drunk together?”
“Not exactly. Zeke and I were just hanging out by the pool.”
She looks like she wants to ask more, but I wave her outside. “Come and tell me all about your trip.”
The rest of the group joins us, and we sit outside while they fill us in on their vacation. I steal glances at Zeke and each time our eyes meet my pulse quickens.
“So, tell me about what you guys did,” Blair asks. The insinuation clear in her expression.
She’s sitting on Wes’ lap and he drops a kiss to her forehead before saying, “You mean, besides TPing the baseball house and hanging out with the young guys? What the hell, man?”
Zeke shrugs but doesn’t answer.
“Speaking of,” Joel asks with a wicked smirk, “when do we get more couple pics of Zebby? I’m waiting with breath that is baited to see what my new favorite couple does next. Goat yoga? Priceless!”
I know he’s just kidding, but Katrina punches his arm and gives her boyfriend a look to shut it.
Zeke looks uncomfortable at the attention, so I field it. “First of all, Zebby is a terrible couple name. Try again. Secondly, you’ll have to follow along with everyone else.”
I flash Zeke a smile hoping I haven’t made him more uncomfortable, but he grins back and then winks.
The conversation dies off after that and one by one, the couples announce they’re headed to bed.
Blair hugs me tightly. “I really missed you.”
“Missed you too.”
Wes even comes in for a hug. “You coming with us on the next trip?”
Blair pulls back. “Oh right, I forgot to tell you. We’re driving up to the lake next weekend. Are you in?”
“You’ve been back in Valley for less than two hours and you’ve already planned another trip?”
“It’s a yearly trip,” Wes says. “The entire basketball team goes and usually some guys from the baseball team, too. Last trip before graduation. Not even Z can get out of this one.”
“So… you’ll come, right?”
“I’m probably on the schedule at work,” I remind her. I’m seriously starting to regret taking a job that requires me to work weekends.
* * *
The next week things start to fall into a routine. I spend my days on campus exploring or holed up in the library to work on my online classes, which Blair finds hilarious because according to her, the perk of online classes is that you don’t have to go to campus, but I love it here. The Valley University campus is beautiful and everything I dreamed it would be.
My nights are spent either hanging with Blair or at The Hideaway.
On Thursday, I’m rolling silverware and exchanging funny memes with Nathan via text when Brady approaches. He doesn’t look up from his tablet as he says, “Savannah is taking your shifts this weekend.”
My stomach knots. “Did I do something wrong? Please don’t fire me. I need this job. I like this job.” Both statements are true. My parents were supportive of my moving to Valley, but they made it clear they wouldn’t be covering my rent.
He looks up after a beat. “You’re not fired. You put in a late request to have the weekend off and I’m honoring it. In the future, though, I’d appreciate at least two weeks’ notice.”
“Yes, of course.”
I call Blair as soon as I get home. “What time are we leaving tomorrow?” I ask, pulling out my bag and then scanning my closet for outfits.
“We’re leaving as soon as Wes gets done with his one o’clock class.”
“Wait. Why don’t you sound more surprised that I’m suddenly free? What do you know?”
“You didn’t think I was going to let you miss out on this weekend, did you?”
“But how?” I drop to my bed and cross my legs underneath me.
“Zeke talked to Brady. I dunno, I didn’t get the details, it doesn’t matter. We’re going to the lake!”
I put Blair on speaker as she goes on about all the things she wants to do while we’re there.
Me: You talked Brady into letting me off this weekend?!
Zeke: If I have to go, you have to go. Besides, we have unfinished business.
Me: ?
Zeke: Skinny dipping of course.
The next day nearly all the basketball team, their girlfriends, and even a few baseball guys pile into five vehicles, with another group coming later. It’s a short drive from Valley to the lake, but the outstretch of water makes it feel like a million miles away from the desert landscape of Valley.
“Where’s Nathan?” I ask as we split up and claim our rooms in the cabin. There are three cabins in total and each one overlooks the lake. Joel’
s family owns the one we’re staying in and rents the other two for the yearly team gathering.
“He’s coming up later,” Wes answers as he and Blair put their bags into one of the four rooms upstairs. Joel and Katrina are in the master, Nathan and Zeke are sharing, and I get a room all to myself, though I’m sandwiched between the two couples so I’m not sure I should celebrate my good fortune just yet.
We head out for a quick spin on the boat so Joel can show us all the hot spots and then everyone comes over to our cabin. Joel’s got the grill going and the guys hang around helping, but mostly just talking smack, while the girlfriends and I huddle around the outdoor bar talking about them.
The rest of the girls are commiserating over travel schedules and long practices that keep their boyfriends occupied. I know from Blair that dating an athlete means they’re gone or practicing a lot, but it seems like the moments Blair and Wes do have together they more than make up for his absence. I could get on board with that.
I stop listening but give the appropriate head nods and “mhmms” with the rest of the group. Across the deck, Zeke stands just on the outside of the guys’ circle looking as bored with the conversation as me.
I get his attention, which isn’t hard since our eyes seem to constantly be snagging, and motion with my head for him to follow me. I slowly back away from the girls and head to the stairs that lead down to the lake. Zeke meets me on the bottom stair.
“Is it time for the skinny dipping already?” he teases.
“Even better.”
On the dock, I stop next to a jet ski. Zeke looks from it to me and back. “You know how to drive that thing?”
“I saw Joel start it earlier.”
He watches me as I stow my cell phone in a cabinet and then ease myself down onto the jet ski, crossing his arms over his chest, an amused expression on his face.
The Tip-Off: A Smart Jocks Novel Page 8