Beau (In the Company of Snipers Book 18)

by Irish Winters

  Judgment day had finally arrived.

  “His name was Farzaad Hannan. He was our interpreter and he was vetted. We took him everywhere. He accompanied us when we visited tribes or villages.” Every damned time.

  Alex leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “I’ve read the after action report. I know their names.”

  That figured. Beau swallowed hard. “Then what do you want from me?”

  “The same commitment you gave your men the day they died,” Alex said quietly. “Honesty. Loyalty. That’s all.”

  Beau nodded, the fight stomped out of him. “I can do that.”

  Alex settled back into his chair. “I know.”

  “So, what, umm…” He cleared his throat. “What’s Izza been through?”

  “You’ll have to ask her.”

  “I don’t dislike her. Hell, I don’t even know her. She’s just a reminder of… shit… Every time I see her… shit…” He swallowed hard. “I get so mad I want to fight the whole f… umm, shit” —not cursing was impossible— “the whole damned world. Do any of you even know how it feels to wake up every day and never once have a single thing to smile about?”

  Of all the people in the room, Shelby raised her hand like a little kid in school. “I do,” she said, blinking fast and trembling again. “I struggle every day, Beau. If you ever want to come with me to my PTSD meetings, you’d be welcomed there with open arms. I’ll go with you. Everyone there’s been through worse things than me, but they care. They listen, and they don’t judge.”

  Beau couldn’t miss the mellow glimmer of pride in Gabe’s eyes. He swiped the back of his hand over his face. His own eyes kept clouding up, damn it. “Thank you, ma’am” —he struggled saying that— “but I’m good.” And I’m real good at lying.

  “No, you’re not good, Beau,” McKenna murmured as her strong but gentle palm settled in the center of his back.

  Damn, he was surrounded, but for the first time in his miserable life, Beau didn’t feel like he had to come up swinging. Guess McKenna was pretty perceptive, too.

  “We’re not your enemies, brother,” Maverick said, his voice uncommonly ragged. “Trust me. I know just what you’re going through.”

  Brother. Beau turned his head to truly look at Maverick. But for that one word, he would’ve said some uncomplimentary things right then. Maybe chucked the water bottle at the guy’s fat head. Called him a few choice names. But he’d seen a different side of Maverick out there in the barn.

  Still, he had to ask, “What can you possibly know about being accused of murdering your men? Enlighten me.” Okay that came out more bitter than Beau intended, but still. By the looks of the Wild Wolf Ranch, Maverick and China had it all.

  “For one thing, I know what it’s like to want to blow your brains out, smartass. Don’t think you own all the sorrow in the world. After I lost my brother... After I… Shit.” The story ground to an abrupt stop. Maverick’s fierce gaze dropped to his feet. His jaw turned to granite that could’ve cracked walnuts, not just cracked them, but pulverized them to dust.

  China’s hand settled over his shoulder, much like McKenna’s hand still rested on Beau’s back. Beau saw it then. Shit. He lost his brother. I lost my sister. I’m Maverick and Maverick’s me. How fuckin’ weird.

  “How old?” he asked gently because he had no idea what to say.

  “Twenty. Twenty and ten times dumber than you,” Maverick ground out. His eyes stayed on the floor, his face ashen, and the cords in his neck taut. “The stupid shit was just like you. He always knew more than anyone else. Always had to be first out of the gate. Never listened to a thing I told him. Stupid ass.” Maverick spat each word at Beau like a killer bee.

  “What was his name?”

  Lifting his head, Maverick shot Beau what only that morning he would’ve interpreted as a hateful, disgusting glare. But things had changed since then, and Beau could finally see what he hadn’t seen before. Maverick looked angry and sad. Not so much pissed as lost. Beau could relate.

  “His name is Darrell,” Maverick corrected as his gaze shifted to the large framed portrait on the fireplace mantel of a grinning kid in USMC dress blues who could’ve passed for Maverick’s twin. Dark-haired and downright cocky, he had one arm around a pretty woman, the other on the baby boy on his lap.

  China kept rubbing Maverick’s shoulders. McKenna kept holding onto Beau. Jesus, he and Maverick were mirror images of each other, both two broken down sons-of-bitches being comforted by women they didn’t deserve.

  “I am sorry for your loss,” he told Maverick sincerely. “Honest. I didn’t know.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know,” McKenna said quietly. “Every single one of the men and women you work with has lost more than you may ever know. Babies, brothers, sisters, and a few beloved animals. They might not know all you’ve suffered, and they don’t need to. That isn’t what makes your team a family, Alex.”

  She directed that at the man across the room, the one sitting back stern and silent, his elbows on his knees again and his steepled fingers under his chin. “It’s this right here, what’s going on in this room right now, that allows your team to do what most others can’t. It’s Shelby reaching out when she’s scared. It’s Maverick opening his home when he didn’t want to. It’s you and Mother working behind the scenes to help a man who’d rather spit in your eye than ever admit he needed your help.”

  Ouch. Beau winced at that very astute description of him.

  “They’re all good men and women,” Alex growled. “I didn’t start out to make a son-of-a-bitchin’ family. I was like Beau. I started out pissed at the world and everyone in it. So stow your sad stories, Beau. We’ve all got our share of memories, and trust me, yours aren’t any heavier than anyone else’s.”

  Beau leaned back into the loveseat, taking McKenna with him, needing the warm, lush feel of her body in his arms. What a day. He wrapped his bad arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. Funny how that hand didn’t hurt as much when he held her.

  “I’ll talk to Izza,” he said. “I’ll make it right with her. It’s not about her. Never was.”

  “See that you do,” Gabe muttered. “Cuz I’m here to tell you, Connor’s going to whip your ass if you bark at her one more time.”

  Beau gave Gabe his chin. “He tell you that?”

  Gabe leaned forward, his elbows to his knees. “That’s another thing. You act like you’re so damned important that everyone’s talking behind your back. Get the hell over yourself. I’ve got news for you, Jennings. You’re not that interesting.”

  “Jesus, do I do anything right?” he had to ask, because right then, he was feeling a little ambushed.

  “Yes, asshole,” Maverick bit out. “You’re the stubbornest jerk I’ve ever met, and that’s why Doc Fitz is alive today. You saved her, dipshit. Keep it up.”

  That almost sounded like a compliment.

  Just then, a giggling whirlwind blew in from the kitchen. While shy Kyrie headed straight for her mom and dad and snuggled up against Maverick, Suzette ran at Beau. He barely caught her before she crashed into his knees and slapped a ragged cloth book in the middle of his chest. “Look, Unco Bo Bo! Kitties!” she squealed as she climbed onto his lap. “Kyrie been telling me ‘bout kitties. Wanna read a kitty stowy?”

  Jesus, she was cute. But since when had he turned into Unco Bo Bo? From the other end of the couch, Shelby lifted both shoulders, her eyes bright with amusement. “Looks like you’re family, Beau.”

  As if it were no big deal, the back of Suzette’s fuzzy little head thudded against his chest while she settled in under his chin and wrapped his good arm around her like—shit. Just like AJ used to do when she was sick and worn out from crying.

  Beau blinked at the damnedest sensation flooding his heart.

  “Hurry,” Suzette urged. “I wike the tiger ones, and Kyrie does, too, and there’s some in here!”

  Beau could barely make
out the cartoon pictures in the book, much less the words under the pictures through the moisture in his eyes. He did as commanded, but he’d never been an uncle before, and that thing in his chest felt tight and uncomfortably warm. For the first time in years, he licked his thumb and settled down to tell a tiny little girl a stowy about kitties. A stowy AJ would’ve loved. Jesus, I miss her.

  He cleared his throat and began with, “Once upon a time—”

  “Oh, wook!” Suzette stabbed her perfect little finger at the first kitten she saw. “This one’s hungwy, and he wants his widdle sister! Turn da page. Turn da page! I show you his widdle baby sister!”

  Beau could relate to the sad looking cartoon boy-kitten. Of course he wanted his little sister. Big brothers were like that. He dipped his nose into the riot of curls at the crown of Suzette’s tender head, his heart breaking for the sublime innocence he’d lost so long ago. For the baby girl he’d never see again. Jesus, he didn’t even have a picture of AJ. What he wouldn’t give for one more day with her.

  At last he shot his employer a piercing look over Suzette’s head. This was all Alex’s fault.

  As usual, Alex stared right back. Ever defiant. Ever the know-it-all.

  Swallowing the bitter rage and the pain of too many years, Beau nodded just once.

  Alex nodded back. Message received. He had no idea what’d he’d just done by forcing this confrontation. Or maybe he did.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  McKenna pressed against Beau’s ribs, careful not to bump the wounded hand draped over her shoulder. Considering all he’d been through in the last few days, the man was shockingly resilient. She doubted most guys would’ve been on their feet after the intense surgery he’d had, much less tackling their jobs. Yet here he was, hard at work and determined to be the one who brought Catalina Montego to justice. Better yet, he was finally surrounded by a rag-tag company of snipers who understood him, yet who weren’t afraid to hold his feet to the fire when he screwed up.

  If she didn’t know better, she’d think Beau loved her, but didn’t know how to say it. Yes, it was way too soon for premature declarations. Those were what led to babies born out of wedlock and most divorces. But if she were to fall for any man, it was this one right here. This rough-around-the-edges guy reading a story about kittens, of all things, to a fairy princess, who even now stared adoringly up at him from beneath the longest lashes McKenna had ever seen on a child. Suzette, the sweet, innocent little thing, was in love, too.

  Alex had excused himself and vanished into the kitchen. Maverick and Gabe passed puzzled glances at each other, as if they couldn’t believe what they were witnessing. But China and Shelby seemed smug, as if they knew something McKenna and the men did not.

  By the time the short story ended, little Suzette had her butt firmly wedged in the corner of Beau’s muscular arm. It did resemble a sturdy tree branch where a kid would be sheltered and safe. Nothing looked dearer than that little girl snuggled into a man as big and rugged as Beau. Talk about “Beauty and the Beast.”

  McKenna ran a dry finger under her eye to catch the tear welling up at the tender bass notes in Beau’s masculine voice. He sounded like a lion that had finally been tamed.

  “The end,” Beau said softly to the fairy princess on his lap.

  “I yike you,” Suzette told him solemnly, her eyes big and round, and those curved lashes fluttering like butterfly wings about to take flight. “You is my favowit unco.”

  He seemed to have a hard time swallowing, so McKenna passed the water bottle. Resting the book on Suzette’s lap, he growled as he unscrewed the already loosened cap and asked his new girlfriend, “You thirsty? You want some?”

  Suzette pursed her lips and shook her head. “Uh-uh. Mommy says kids should never dwink outta someone else’s stuff. I could get germs.”

  “Your mommy’s smart,” Beau told her as he took a swallow.

  “Hey, Suzy-Q,” Gabe interjected with a lazy grin. “Kyrie’s got a new baby horse. If you’re done reading with Uncle Bo Bo, want to go see it?”

  She slid off Beau’s knee to the floor, her ‘favowit unco’ quickly forgotten. “Oh, goody! Wet’s go, Daddy. Whatcha waitin’ for?”

  “Do all kids talk like that?” Beau asked as he leaned into McKenna. “Are they all that cute?”

  “I like to think so,” she answered.

  From the couch, Shelby beamed up at Gabe as he swung Suzette onto his shoulders.

  “Bring your old man, Kyrie,” he said as he jerked his thumb for Maverick to join him. “I want to see that litter of kittens you found, too. How many babies did that mean mama cat have this time?”

  Kyrie tugged at Maverick with, “Come on, Dad. Move your keister, mister.”

  He resisted until she planted her feet, grabbed his hand, and tried to tug him to his feet. That didn’t work. In a second, he had her giggling in his arms, tickling her until she squealed. McKenna could’ve watched those two play all day. He was so gentle with Kyrie. Her pretty face, so much like China’s, split with a happy smile.

  Maverick ended their wrestling match with a hug and a kiss to her cheek. “Jumping Jiminy, what have you been eating? Did you leave any oats for the horses?”

  “No, Dad,” she drawled as she bounced to her feet, her dark tangles bouncing along with her. “I ate the giant chocolate chip pancakes you made for breakfast, don’t you remember? Or are you as forgetful as Z?”

  One dark brow lifted on his forehead into a devilish spike. “You calling me old?”

  McKenna couldn’t believe the playful side of the brooding man she’d sat with in the hospital. Was this adorable guy the same person?

  Kyrie backed away from him her eyes alight with mischief. “You do kinda look like X and Z now that I think about it. And you talk like Z, too. Jumping Jiminy? Really, old fella?”

  “That’s it.” He lifted to his feet. “No more pancakes for you. From now on, celery. Broccoli. Okra!”

  Still grinning and teasing, Kyrie scurried to her Uncle Gabe, putting him and Suzette between her and her dad. “Betcha can’t catch me,” she taunted.

  And just like that the game was over. Maverick sat back on the couch and waved for her to come sit with him. “No, Kyrie. Don’t run from me. Not today. You know what Mom and I talked about this morning. We can play games inside, but once outside, you need to stay between Uncle Gabe and me. He won’t have Suzette on his shoulders then, either. This is serious, kiddo. And we’re only going out to check on the new foal and feed the cats. You two can’t run off and play like you usually do. Understand, sweetheart?”

  Aww, he melted McKenna’s heart the way he’d reached out for Kyrie, and the way she came back to him and snuggled between his knees to sit on his lap. “I know, Dad. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’ll be extra careful, and I’ll watch over Suzette, too. You’ve got your pistol, right?”

  “You know I do.” He pulled her into a one-armed hug and ended with another kiss to her cheek. “Good, then get off my knee, tubby. You’re breaking my leg.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Only cuz it’s so skinny and bony!” she shot back at him as she stood and grabbed his hand. “Come on, old guy. Let’s get our chores done.”

  While the men and girls headed out through the kitchen to the barn, Beau sagged back into the loveseat. “I’m too old for this shit.”

  “It has been quite the morning. You really do need to rest,” Shelby told him. “You too, McKenna. With Alex, Maverick, and Gabe here, you’ll be fine.”

  McKenna couldn’t have agreed more. “Just what the doctor ordered,” she said as she lifted to her feet, then turned to Beau and asked, “You need a hand up, old guy?”

  He shook his head, stubborn to the bitter end. “I’m going to check in with Alex.”

  “Of course you are,” she muttered to herself as he headed for the kitchen. “You don’t need post-operative care. I forgot. You’re Superman.”

  “Men, huh?” Shelby said as
she grinned. “Gabe was the same way when he got shot.”

  “He didn’t go to the hospital?”

  “Oh, yes, he did. By ambulance because he was unconscious and had no choice. But he had visitors as soon as he was out of recovery. Next thing I knew, we were both at TEAM headquarters, because he wasn’t about to miss the showdown between Mark Houston and Alex. You should’ve been there.”

  “Showdown?” McKenna joined Shelby on the couch. She couldn’t imagine anyone taking on Alex.

  “That was a day to remember,” Shelby said, her eyes bright.

  McKenna settled in for some girl talk. When Beau had first stepped away from her, she’d almost gone to the kitchen to stay near him. It was either that or fight off another panic attack. But then Shelby reached out to her and made her feel at home. That was all it took. Beau wasn’t the only one being sucked into this fascinating family of snipers.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Alex stared out the kitchen window at all Maverick and China had accomplished since she’d moved east to be with him. The barn. Those horses. Wild Wolf East, the name of their ranch, had prospered. Between China’s talent with her magnificent Percherons, Maverick’s success with his charity, Everyone’s a Cowboy, and Cat Haven, Kyrie’s homeless shelter for stray and unwanted cats, it was easy to see why Beau thought the Carsons had everything. In a way, they did.

  But what he couldn’t see was the wreck Maverick had been when he’d first joined The TEAM. How he’d sat for days staring at his computer screen. Not friendly. Barely approachable. Not talking unless spoken to. If it hadn’t been for Gabe Cartwright and Taylor Armstrong flying cover for him, Alex now knew Maverick might’ve gone off in a dark corner and offed himself during those first weeks. That would’ve been tragic. Maverick had so much to give, even back then. But he couldn’t see the forest through the trees at that dark time in his life, and Alex knew how he’d felt.

  “Hey, Boss? Got a minute?”

  Speak of the devil. Alex turned his back on the window to face the junior agent who had for the first time called him Boss. “Yes?”