Promises Made- Promises Kept

by Jaclyn Rosamond

  ‘Thanks, Mum.’ I caught her in a hug, dancing around the room, coming to a halt in the kitchen, both of us breathless with laughter.

  She stepped back a sly grin on her face. ‘What would Eddie say, do you suppose?’

  I sniggered nastily. ‘I’d get a shedload of satisfaction seeing his face, as well as Bianca’s. Shona tells me she looks terrible. Pregnancy doesn’t seem to be suiting her. What an absolute crying shame.’

  Mum winked, both of us not sorry for her.

  I went to bed on a high. Clothes shopping was next.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Early morning sunlight lightened the sky when I woke. Bouncing with energy, I dressed in jeans and t-shirt, with ballet flats for comfortable walking, and carried a pair of heels in my tote, for trying on with dressier clothes. After a breakfast suited to a full-on shopping trip, I drove to the station and caught an early train to London.

  And I shopped and shopped. Until I dropped.

  I bought jeans, two pairs each of black and dark blue to go with different shoe heights. No whiskers, rips or faded denim for me, just classic jeans all the way.

  New lingerie was a must. I bought to please myself, not a man. Initially, I spurned the endless racks of sexy lingerie, experiencing mild revulsion every time I picked up anything that reminded me of unhappier times. Plain bras and knickers held no appeal, either.

  Opting for comfortable and feminine, I chose practical T-shirt bras, a couple of pretty lacy ones in different colors and two sets of sexy, bed-worthy matching bras and undies in sophisticated black. Satisfied, I now had enough to keep me going for up to a year.

  A red cocktail dress set my heart racing. Simply gorgeous. And a pair of dark red high heels to match. A couple of pretty summer dresses in blue and lime green were a no-brainer. Strictly no frills, no bows and no florals.

  On return to Cambridge, I arrived home overladen with jackets, casual slacks, t-shirts in different colors and sandals. My credit card lay shocked and silent in my purse, resting, not utterly spent. I’d spotted a divine tan-colored Fendi handbag I’d fallen in love with and asked the shop assistant to hold it for me until the following day.

  Did I really need anything else? Probably not. But, hey, how many times in my life might I have the opportunity to spend this much money on me and only me? Not too many.

  I set off for London again the next day and by the evening I had my bag, and a new purse and two pairs of shoes. And a couple of bohemian style skirts and peasant blouses.

  Shopping had been a fun distraction from the house auction, now only two days away. Dominic advised against attending the auction, and he was right.

  Instead, on the big day, I met Shona and Brigid for lunch at our favorite restaurant. I wore my ten-minute makeup face, left my hair loose and healthy-looking, and wore a purple and pink gypsy skirt with a bright purple tank top topped by a new denim jacket. Shona, eyes popping, hands on her mouth, leapt to her feet, grabbed me and twirled me round.

  ‘You look fabulous. Oh my God, your hair’s fantastic. And look at your face – you’re stunning. And your clothes. You look, just, wow!’ Each admiring comment was a salve to my wounded self-esteem.

  Darling Brigid sniffed. ‘You know, if you’d taken my advice last year and done all this back then, you’d probably still have a husband.’

  ‘Brigid!’ Shona turned horrified eyes on our straight-talking friend.

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, dripping sarcasm, ‘because he’s so completely desirable.’

  Brigid giggled. ‘Point taken. You do look gorgeous, though. Pity he can’t see you now.’

  I shrugged. ‘Meh. His loss. But you know something? I don’t think I’ve had that much fun since,’ I thought back, ‘nope, since ever. Three days of complete self-pampering has given me such a blast that I’ve decided to save up and do it every couple of years. Unless I meet some dreamboat and have lots of children.’ I tipped my head, thinking. ‘Nope, dreamboats and ankle-biters hold no interest at all.’

  ‘Maybe I should do a big shopping indulgence, too.’ Shona sighed, looking down at her glittering engagement ring. ‘Well, after the wedding, I guess. I don’t mind waiting.’

  ‘It won’t happen,’ Brigid said.

  ‘True, probably. Maybe.’ Shona agreed, eyes regretful.

  ‘You don’t really need to buy things,’ I said. ‘Your wardrobe’s already good, and you’re sharing a life with someone you really love. I couldn’t have done this if I’d been married, especially not to that particular foot-dragging encumbrance.’

  ‘Not him, for sure,’ Brigid said. ‘He was a waste of space. Martin, on the other hand, is a standout. You’re lucky.’

  ‘True. It’s not like I was looking for Mr Perfect when I met Martin.’ Shona sipped her wine. ‘But he’s everything I want in a man. And.’ She snickered. ‘He pretty much thinks I’m perfect, and who am I to disabuse him?’

  In-between our girlie speak, the estate agent, Tim, sent me a flow of text messages as the auction approached. We hushed, leaning in to listen as bidding opened and quickly moved above the reserve price. It was over in fifteen minutes, Eddie the clear winner against two other bidders. But he’d had to fight hard, paying twelve thousand pounds more than he’d offered me.

  ‘Serve the bastard right.’ Shona banged her hand on the table, sending silverware clattering. Heads turned, frowns thrown our way. We didn’t care.

  ‘Hah! Some justice at last.’ Brigid sat back, her face triumphant.

  ‘He’ll want a quick settlement, which suits me. I intend to make a couple of investments with the proceeds.’

  ‘And there’s a credit card debt to service.’ Brigid reminded me.

  ‘That too,’ I agreed. ‘I don’t care. This year just keeps on getting better, and I wouldn’t have believed it in February. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.’

  Shona squeezed my arm. ‘Eddie was never really much of a catch, was he?’

  My eyebrows shot up. ‘Huh? Is that what you thought?’

  They both nodded.

  ‘Shit, why didn’t you say something?’

  ‘I did. You just didn’t want to hear it.’ Shona shook her head.

  ‘What did you say – and when?’ I was mystified.

  ‘Oh, look, it was ages ago, when you first started dating.’ She saw my raised eyebrow query. ‘Well, I had my doubts when he didn’t want to hear anything about your work. That’s just bollocks. Yeah, most people’s work mightn’t be fascinating, but it takes up a good portion of every week. Eddie should have bitten the bullet and let you talk about what was going on in your life every day. After all, you listened to him and his boring stories. In fact, some of your stories are screamingly funny. Especially your too-posh-to-push patients. So, yeah, he never seemed to be into you, you know?’

  ‘It’s true, I know that now. But, I really did love him. Maybe love made me blind.’

  ‘You weren’t even going to look at his faults when he was so good in bed, now were you?’

  I glanced at Brigid. She nodded agreement.

  ‘Was I really that shallow?’

  ‘No, that’s not what I meant.’ Shona waved her hands, nearly knocking over her wine glass. ‘That’s not shallow, Rose. Being compatible in bed’s really important. I mean, if you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with someone, then they really need to be ringing your bells in that department, if you know what I mean. No, I think maybe that’s all he had going for him when you were together. You didn't have a lot in common when it came to other interests, did you?’

  ‘Maybe not. But I assumed we’d grow closer and find new things as a couple. Okay, I was never going to be thrilled if he’d ended up buying a motorbike and going off on his own for outings – bet he had to use those funds to pay for the house,’ I added as an aside, ‘but I thought we’d end up doing all sorts of couple stuff together, like exploring flea markets and antique shops, going away for weekends, renovating the house, as well as having friends round for fun ni
ghts. Couples stuff.’

  ‘But you didn’t do any of that, did you?’ Brigid pointed out. ‘Not after you got married, anyway.’

  ‘Nope. Zip, zero and zilch. Nada.’ I sighed. ‘Even though we were doomed to failure, it still hurts here.’ I tapped my chest.

  ‘Yeah, we all get that.’ Brigid’s eyes told me she understood. ‘But hey, look at it this way – you found out what a bastard he really is before you got in too deep.’

  ‘Thank God for that! But the downside is that I’m going to have trouble trusting a man ever again. If someone I lived with could hide such a gigantic secret from me, then I don’t think I’ll trust my judgement ever again.’

  I faltered, thinking about Cal. I trusted him, didn’t I? Would I ever need to find out for sure? Not likely.

  Shona put her hand on my shoulder. ‘I don’t know what to say, honey, except maybe Bianca getting pregnant was the best thing that could have happened to you.’

  Her comment had us in fits of laughter. We spilled out of the restaurant an hour later, having downed a couple of bottles of wine, sobering instantly, confronted by Eddie and Bianca as they left the estate agent’s office a few doors away.

  Eddie was the first to react.

  ‘You.’ Lips curled into a sneer, he eyed me head to toe. ‘Got the house back from you. Bitch.’

  A vein throbbed in his neck. I ignored him and turned to Bianca. ‘You chose a real charmer, Bianca.’

  Unnerved by our sudden appearance, Bianca avoided our eyes, flushing an unappealing blotchy red. Shona and Brigid scared her in a way I never had. Clutching Eddie’s arm, her knuckles white, she brazened it out, derisive eyes rising to meet mine.

  I turned to him, voice cold. ‘You bought something I no longer wanted – a house that stank of betrayal – and you paid dearly for it. I like the justice of that.’ I turned away from his clenched jaw and naked hatred.

  ‘Finally, Rose, you decided to do something about your weight.’ Bianca’s voice emerged shrill and nervous. ‘About time. You lost Eddie cos you didn’t care about how you looked. Serves you right.’

  Really? A Bianca put-down?

  ‘Well, now you mention it, Bianca. I didn’t lose Eddie because of something so shallow. I leave shallow and vapid to you. But, you should watch your back. Eddie was unfaithful to me on our honeymoon and any other time he fancied it. He has photos of you with your legs spread – but you’re not the only slut he’s serviced. Plenty of other photos to prove it. Don’t be so sure he won’t want to dip his wick between somebody else’s legs behind your back. He’s morally bankrupt and I don’t think you’re like that, not deep down.’

  I watched, gratified, as both of them recoiled.

  ‘Shut up, fucking bitch!’ Eddie grabbed Bianca’s arm, pulling her away.

  ‘C’mon girls, the air’s smells rancid round here.’ I strode off up the street, Shona and Brigid had to run to keep up with me.

  ‘That was priceless.’ Shona said, breathless as she caught up with me.

  ‘I’m proud of you, girl.’ Brigid said. ‘Did you see their faces?’

  ‘Yeah, and I felt validated. All the same, I’m not that proud of what I said.’ I slowed my pace. ‘She looked really scared.’

  ‘With good reason,’ Brigid asserted hotly. ‘If you’re going to seduce someone’s husband it means he’s not trustworthy to start with. What else could she expect?’

  ‘Undying love,’ Shona said. ‘Sure. Nuh, uh. She shouldn’t trust him with any woman. She was asking for it, Rose. Fancy sneering at you about your weight. She’s just jealous.’

  ‘Of course she’s jealous. The boot’s on the other foot now – she’s not slim and gorgeous right now, and I’m suddenly transformed. But you know what? She’ll never be happy, she doesn’t know how, not even when she’s got everything she thought she wanted, and I’ve given her good reason just now to be unhappy.

  ‘I’ve made her think. He swore to me he loved her, but he still can’t tell the truth, even with her. She can’t have known he screwed other women. She thought she was the only one.’ We stood in a huddle way up the street.

  ‘How do you suppose that makes someone like Bianca feel? Because you’re right, Shona, she does want undying love, we all do, and now I’ve pulled that rug right out from under her feet with a few spiteful words. I’m really sorry I didn’t keep my trap shut and ignore them both.’

  ‘You really do care about her, don’t you?’ Brigid said in wonder. ‘Why?’

  I shifted from one foot to another while I thought about it. ‘Mum and Dad used to ask me that when we were all at school, and you know what? I think it’s because she always had so little, and,’ I held up my hand when Brigid started to protest, ‘even though I hated her sometimes for all the spiteful things she did, and for stealing my stuff, I knew she did it because she wanted something all of us had and something she’d never had – she wanted to be loved and she wanted her life to mean something.’

  ‘I see what you’re getting at,’ Shona said slowly. ‘You really regret telling her?’

  I nodded.

  ‘But won’t she find out anyway? I mean, he’ll probably be unfaithful to her, won’t he?’

  I could see Brigid struggled with my concept of Bianca deserving something better in life.

  ‘Well, that’s the kicker, isn’t it?’ I gestured helplessly. ‘Maybe he won’t, maybe he loves her enough not to stray. So, I might just have done unnecessary damage to her relationship with him.’

  ‘Rose, you’re too soft, you know that, don’t you?’ Shona gave me an impulsive hug. ‘Look at it this way; she’s now alerted to his propensity for a bit on the side, now that she’s no longer his bit on the side. Don’t beat yourself up about telling her. She’ll watch him like a hawk now. Be realistic here, kiddo, they both betrayed you and here you are trying to make excuses for her.’

  ‘You’re right.’ I suddenly didn’t want to talk about this anymore. ‘Let’s forget it. C’mon, Brigid, you wanted to look for a new lamp, we’re right outside John Lewis, let’s go in.’

  Later that night, after a quiet dinner with my parents, I sat in my room and thought about Bianca. Pregnancy wasn’t agreeing with her. She looked unwell, her hair dull and skin dry and flaky. I felt there was something else there, a fragility I hadn’t expected.

  Even if she needed help, she would never again turn to me for support. I shrugged. I’d be equally unresponsive.

  Lying back on my bed I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Cal.

  ‘Eddie bought the house today. I’m happy to say he paid dearly for it. Ha! Feel glad to be single with no albatross around my neck. Just Googled the weather in Denali and looks like you have a sunny, rainy, windy day tomorrow, the usual several seasons in one day. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m very ready for a change. How are you? Hugs, R.’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  With two days to go before I flew to Chicago for my first assignment, I felt nervous and energized. Shona helped me pack essentials for three months, and when we’d finished we sat, mugs of coffee in hand, and gossiped.

  ‘You know that boutique Bianca used to work at?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Well, I was in there the other day and apparently you were under discussion.’

  ‘Me? I’ve never been in there, why was I being talked about?’

  ‘Well, Bianca must have been in there and talked about you. You can imagine, my ears were out on stalks as I tried to pick up on any goss.’ She paused, her look quizzical. ‘You want to know something funny? The staff in there all like Bianca and miss her now she’s on maternity leave.’

  Round-eyed, I said, ‘Really? Somebody actually likes her? Who’d have thought?’

  ‘I know, but it’s true, and, you’ll never guess what. Bianca must have told them you looked fantastic.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘I know, right? Weird. Although, from the way they said it, it seem Bianca gave herself the credit, cos one of them said you mus
t have finally taken Bianca’s advice on smartening up.’

  ‘Bloody cheek!’

  ‘Yeah. She wasn’t the one hitting the gym every day and watching her diet. Dunno why she thinks she can take credit.’

  ‘Especially as she doesn’t look the picture of health.’ I held up my hands. ‘No more talk of Bianca. Let’s change the subject. I just get cranky otherwise.’ I switched to Shona’s favorite topic. ‘Latest goss on wedding plans?’

  With a subject dear to her heart, she kept me entertained for more than an hour. She has a knack for noticing other people’s idiosyncrasies and had me in stitches about how her mother had transformed into a mumzilla tyrant.

  ‘Yeah, she rings me every day to make sure I’m staying slim for my dress. She wants the wedding of the year, but at a budget price, and since Martin and I are paying for everything, she isn't getting what she wants. It’s driving her nuts.’

  Ah, yes, Audrey.

  I could just imagine her sitting at home, careful blonde perm in place, barely concealed patience, tap-tap-tapping her polished acrylic nails, trying to come up with subtle and not-so-subtle ways of influencing her daughter’s choices. Always a social climber, Audrey lived to impress. In her view people who imagined themselves superior to her needed bringing down a peg or two. On the two occasions she’d met my parents, her manner had been submissive and fawning. Shona lived in horror of them meeting again. As they were bound to do at her wedding.

  Shona only allowed her mother into her life in miniscule doses.

  ‘Do you remember when we first met?’

  ‘Oh, God, yeah. Embarrassing, I know. Audrey kept inviting me over for chocolate cake after school, desperate to meet my mum and dad.’

  ‘Yeah. She wanted to be able to drop their names casually into conversation with her cronies and neighbors.’

  I winced. ‘I know.’

  She leaned forward, face furtive and guilty. ‘Yeah, but do you remember what she did first?’

  I shook my head. ‘You’re about to tell me.’