Aftermath

by Tricia Owens

  “I thought for sure I’d take a look at you and find that nothing had changed.” Merrick Felix tilted his head thoughtfully. “Turns out I was wrong.”

  Seated beside him in the back of the Elite Poole limo, Ethan only smiled and tried not to read too much into the comment. Depending on the other man’s mood, the comment could be taken as an insult as much as a compliment. Fortunately, Merrick didn’t leave him on the hook, wondering, for too long.

  “You’re beautiful, Eath. There must be something in the water here.”

  “Thank you,” Ethan replied simply.

  He doubted Merrick would be satisfied with only that, but for now he returned Ethan’s smile and continued to study him as if unable to believe what he was seeing. It could have been awkward, but to Ethan’s relief, he had felt comfortable in the man’s presence from the moment Ethan waved to him at the airport.

  The fifty-two year old had aged well, too. Ethan couldn’t say he didn’t find Merrick unattractive. Under different circumstances—tremendously different ones—Ethan would have attempted to start things up again with him. The confidence that Merrick exuded wasn’t the same as Max’s, which was derived from a natural urge to dominate and to excel. Merrick’s was the confidence of a man who believed he had the wisdom and knowledge to guide a younger man, whether it be professionally, socially or sexually. His form of sugar daddy would be softer and more educational than Max’s version.

  And I’d better stop thinking about daddies right this minute.

  He casually tugged the edge of his suit coat so it cast a shadow over his lap.

  “It feels like it’s been ages since I last saw you,” Merrick continued. The weak sunlight filtering through the tinted windows made his mostly gray hair look like thick waves of silver. He was tanned, as he’d always been while Ethan knew him, with a few more and deeper wrinkles that only served to flatter the angles of his fox-ish face and draw attention to the openness of his smile and green eyes. They were the same shade as Ethan’s own.

  “Thank you for agreeing to guard my body,” Merrick added with a wide grin. “I know it’s not much these days…”

  Ethan rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Fishing for compliments, Merr? Since when did your ego need the boost? But I’ll play along: you look great. You must be keeping up with the tennis.”

  “And golf. I’ve begun golfing with some clients. It’s my backup plan for when my knees blowout. Can’t drive a cart around a tennis court, after all.”

  “Sure, Merr.” Ethan shook his head. “Say that again in thirty years when you’re actually old. You’re not getting any sympathy from me.”

  “Harsh, but I appreciate the tough love.” Merrick crossed his hands in his lap and went back to studying Ethan. “You know I’m going to push for it.”

  Ethan looked out the window, fighting off a smile. “Push for what?”

  “The dirty details.” The older man leaned forward, elbows on knees. “You’re married for God’s sake. And you live in Sin City. And you’re a bodyguard. What happened to my sweet, clean-cut underwear model from Indiana?”

  It pulled a laugh from Ethan. “I don’t know how sweet or clean-cut I was—”

  “The sweetest and most clean-cut.”

  Merrick was pushing hard, but Ethan couldn’t begrudge him the effort. The man was just too charming.

  “I’m still me.” He faced Merrick again. “I’m a better version of me. Happier, as you noted. My life is pretty great. A wonderful husband, home, and job. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

  Merrick sat back again as the car made a turn. “I have to admit: when I envisioned your future, I was a part of it. And not as your client.”

  Ethan nodded, unafraid to hold the other man’s gaze and acknowledge what could have been. “I know you hoped for that and I’m sorry that it didn’t work out for us. You’re a good man. You would have treated me well, just as you used to.”

  “Thank you for saying so, Ethan. It’s some consolation.”

  Merrick’s smile was soft. Sad with regret for what could have been, perhaps. Ethan didn’t feel guilty, exactly, but he wished Merrick had found someone for himself.

  “You don’t need my consolation,” Ethan told him, thinking back on how well-liked Merrick was by the models and clients he worked with. “If you’re single right now it’s only because you’ve been picky, not because you don’t have a line of guys eying you up.”

  Merrick laughed, his rich voice filling the interior of the limo. “I’ve been eyed up, can’t deny that. Maybe you’re right. I have been picky. Once you have your heart set on someone, it’s difficult to move on and look elsewhere.”

  Ethan shifted, uncomfortable. Merrick seemed to notice, for he sobered.

  “I’m only kidding with you, Eath. I’m thrilled for you. If you can’t be mine, I want you to be with someone who makes you look this good. And baby, you look damn good.”

  “I take it back. You’re single because you’re still cheesy.”

  Their laughter was slightly forced, but Ethan didn’t sense any lingering resentment or bitterness from Merrick. The man still held a torch for him, apparently, but hopefully wouldn’t allow it to affect their working relationship.

  “My boss, Maxmillian, says you’re here on business,” Ethan said to change the topic to less personal subjects.

  “Your boss and your husband, you mean.”

  “Yes,” Ethan said, keeping his voice even, not interested in discussing Max with Merrick but not going out of his way to hide the relationship, either. “Are you visiting a client?”

  “Yes and no. It’s a work in progress.”

  Ethan waited, but Merrick didn’t elaborate, which was fine. Ethan didn’t need to know the man’s business to protect him; his schedule was the primary concern.

  “I noticed that you have some evening meetings planned,” he prompted. “You indicated in your brief to Maxmillian that these would be small group gatherings?”

  Merrick stretched one leg out, his knee brushing Ethan’s. “All the info is there, Ethan. Why the questions? Do you doubt the legitimacy of my reason for being here?”

  “Not at all. I’m protecting you. The more I know, the better. Even seemingly inconsequential details matter.”

  “Listen to you,” Merrick said, sounding fond. “You’re all grown up. And you fill that suit out very well. I’m sorry to keep going on about this, but you’re impressing the hell out of me. This is a version of you I wish I’d seen back in Indiana.”

  Why? Ethan wanted to ask. Me in a suit wouldn’t have changed the fact that I didn’t want you as my sugar daddy.

  “This is the version of me you’re getting here in Las Vegas,” he said. “I take my job seriously.”

  “Oh, I wasn’t suggesting you’re doing dress-up or anything.” Merrick’s haste in explaining himself made Ethan feel slightly better. The older man looked over Ethan’s suit. “But you know, I don’t think I ever saw you in anything so formal. Clothes make the man. You and I know this better than anyone. Ethan in underwear and swimwear isn’t the same Ethan in thousand dollar suits.”

  Ethan shrugged off the observation. “I may look different on the outside, but I’m still the same old me. Are you the same old you?” he asked, half-teasing.

  Merrick looked wistful, as if thinking back. “I wish, but I suspect I may be worse.”

  ~~~~~

  Merrick had brought his professional camera equipment with him, which Ethan remarked upon after all the man’s luggage had been deposited in the suite at the Venetian.

  “So you are doing work.” Ethan gently toed a camera bag. “Or is this for sightseeing?”

  Merrick huffed a laugh before stretching his arms above his head and groaning. His shirt rode up slightly, revealing that his stomach was still firm enough for a man twenty years his junior. He dropped onto the end of his bed, looking tired but happy.

  “Could be for sightseeing,” he admitted with a small smile, “but actually, I’m planning t
o do some location scouting for a potential new project.”

  “New client or one of your regulars?” Ethan asked as he walked to the large picture window and looked out at the view of the Strip.

  “A new one. I’m excited to see what may come of it. It’s been a while since I’ve felt the rush. I’m glad to be feeling it again.”

  Ethan watched the flow of traffic. It was relatively slow on a weekday afternoon. “How has business been?”

  “Steady. My regulars have been consistent with their ad buys. I did a neat campaign for a boutique jeans company that you should see. It was a laugh riot. Jimmy Holloway and Chris Gant worked with me on it.”

  Ethan grinned as he recalled the shenanigans that the two mischievous models could get up to on the set of a shoot. “Those two nearly got me fired from the Ubanshi campaign.”

  “That’s right! They started having sex in the jacuzzi.”

  “We were modeling thongs.” Ethan swallowed a laugh at the memory. “Jimmy threw his out of the jacuzzi but Chris just kicked his off and it got caught in the filter.”

  “They burned down part of the set, didn’t they?”

  “Not quite—the pump engine began to smoke because it turned out to be pretty old and not well maintained—but it scared the owner of the property enough for him to kick us out of there. It was late and we didn’t have time to scout another local owner with a jacuzzi who would allow a bunch of half-naked guys to pose in it. So the director rented the honeymoon suite at a shady motel downtown. The photographer had a heck of a time shooting the heart-shaped tub so it would appear round in the shots.”

  “I hooked up with Jimmy for a while.”

  Surprised, Ethan looked back at the man on the bed. Merrick was watching him, a sheepish half-smile on his face.

  “After I learned you’d moved here,” Merrick admitted. “I was down and lonely. Desperate, I guess, since I went for Jimmy.” He chuckled. “The kid’s got an amazing bubble butt, but upstairs he’s operating on helium.”

  “He’s alright. A lot of fun.”

  “That’s a nice way of putting it.”

  Ethan searched himself for twinges of jealousy at learning that Merrick had moved on, but thankfully found none.

  “He was fun, but he wasn’t for me,” Merrick said meaningfully, his gaze lingering.

  Ethan saw himself through the other man’s eyes, standing limned by sunlight, maybe his blond hair glowing. He moved away from the window and into the ordinary, dim light within the suite.

  “You must miss the job,” Merrick murmured. “Most people would kill to have a model’s life.”

  Ethan had been expecting this. He was glad he could answer truthfully. “It was an enjoyable time of my life, no doubt about it. I made a lot of great friends and had great relationships. I don’t regret doing it at all. I never will.”

  “Let me guess: the past is past.”

  “Yes. My life is here now.”

  “And what a life it is.” Merrick smoothed his hands over the duvet beneath him while his gaze roamed over the large, well-appointed rooms. “Life in Sin City suits you, huh? I never would have guessed you’d fit in here. I thought you were a small town boy to the core.”

  Ethan couldn’t stop his smile of wonder. “So did I. It turns out I was wrong.”

  “You miss your folks, of course. But not the life?”

  “I miss it all, Merr, but that doesn’t override how good I’ve got it here.”

  “I hear you loud and clear. Do you keep in touch with anyone back home?”

  “When I can.”

  “But not lately, I bet. Otherwise you’d get an earful.”

  Ethan didn’t bother asking what he meant. It was pretty obvious and it was dismaying.

  Merrick abruptly jumped up and kneeled before his camera equipment. As he rummaged through it, he continued talking. “You’re big in the media. You were in all the gossip rags for a few days and Maxmillian was on one of those entertainment talk shows. Just his photo, of course, but it was a killer photo.”

  “Great,” Ethan murmured without enthusiasm. He tried to envision his friends back home reacting to the publicity. His old boss and coworker at Winnaker Security would be alright with it, but people he’d gone to school with? He wasn’t so sure the reception of the news of him being married to a man and living in Vegas would be positive.

  “Has he ever been a model?”

  “Who?”

  “Maxmillian.”

  At least in this, Ethan could find a reason to smile. “It’s a travesty, but no. He’s all business.”

  “Well, the world needs people to run it, so….” Merrick sat back on his heels, his camera in hand. While bending over, his hair had fallen forward and it now hung in loose waves around his forehead. It reminded Ethan of how Merrick used to look in bed. The memory was unwanted, but not unpleasant.

  “I need to snap a photo,” Merrick said, raising the camera. “For old time’s sake.”

  “I’m not here to model for you.” Ethan felt a frown tugging at his lips. “I’m your security.”

  “Aw, come on, Eath. Just a photo or two. Real quick. I need to memorialize you in a suit. I’ll never get another chance.”

  “Merrick, please.”

  “Just a few! What’ll it hurt?”

  “Do you not take me seriously as your bodyguard?”

  Merrick’s face fell. He lowered the camera. “That’s not it at all. No way. I would respect you even if you showed up tomorrow wearing a Housekeeping uniform. This was just—a bit of nostalgia, I guess. I used to care a lot for you, you know.”

  His shoulders slumped, and Ethan finally felt the guilt he’d managed to avoid all morning.

  “The past is the past,” Ethan reminded him gently.

  Merrick nodded, gaze averted. The sigh came out before Ethan could stop it. So did the words.

  “Fine. But just one.” When Merrick’s head jerked up, his face bright, Ethan added, “And I’m not posing. You get a candid or you get nothing.”

  “Always were a feisty one,” Merrick quipped. He brought the camera up, focused it, and snapped a photo. “Just one. See? I can be a good boy. Well, as long as my pants are on.” He grinned boyishly.

  If only you were obnoxious, Ethan thought. This would be so much easier.

  ~~~~~

  Since Merrick had no plans until later that night, Ethan took him on a tour of the city.

  “I’ve been here before,” Merrick told him as he craned his head to peer out the window of the limo, “but I spent most of my time out at Red Rock Canyon, running a campaign for some athletic wear. Worst sunburn of my life.” He scratched at his nose as if he could feel the skin peeling again.

  “I’m still getting used to the summers. Not sure I’ll ever be able to handle August with grace, but you can’t beat the winter here. I will never miss shoveling snow.”

  “Amen to that.” Merrick had brought along his camera. He lowered the window and snapped some photographs of New York, New York. “My business tonight is cocktails Downtown. At the Plaza?”

  “One of the older casinos, yes.”

  Merrick shrugged. “This potential client is big on old school Vegas. He told me he’s watched the movie Casino nearly two dozen times.”

  “In that case, you should go to Oscar’s Steakhouse in the Plaza. It’s where they shot a scene with DeNiro and Sharon Stone.”

  “Damn, that’ll impress my guy.” Merrick turned to him eagerly. “You think I can wrangle a table tonight?”

  “I’ll ask Max—Maxmillian to get you a reservation. He’s got hookups at all the major restaurants in town.”

  “Must be nice being with a man who’s connected.”

  Ethan knew where this was going but it needed to be addressed. “If you mean personally, sure. It’s convenient. It’s not necessary, though. I’m happy to eat at Applebee’s, just like always.”

  “You and your artichoke dip,” Merrick muttered with a roll of the eyes.

  �
��I can’t help it if it’s delicious.”

  “You’d think your man would have educated your palate by now.”

  “Oh, trust me, he’s introduced me to dozens of things I’ve never tried before. Believe it or not, this hick actually likes some of them.”

  “Not uni.”

  Ethan blushed. “Well, the texture isn’t really my thing…”

  Merrick burst out laughing. “Honestly, I don’t blame you. It’s like eating salty poo.”

  “Okay, that’s not a comparison I would ever have made.”

  The air coming in through the open window was pleasant, the temperature just right. Ethan relaxed into the feeling of the breeze ruffling his hair. He hadn’t ever felt so at ease on a job. Then again, his client had never been a friend and former lover, either.

  “He sounds intimidating on the phone,” Merrick said, his tone casual. He set his camera on the seat beside him. “You and I played around a bit but nothing hardcore. He seems…hard. Is that what he is? Your daddy and your Dom?”

  Ethan cringed, inwardly and outwardly. “I’d prefer you didn’t speculate on my love life, Merr. It’s awkward.”

  “It’s only me.”

  “It’s private.”

  “You think I’m going to tell someone?” Merrick crossed his arms. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

  Ethan didn’t feel like explaining the seriousness of the personal drama that had erupted from Axelrod’s announcement at the party. Merrick was openly gay, had been so since the day Ethan met him. He wouldn’t understand or sympathize with Max’s intense need for privacy even after the cat had been let out of the bag.

  “Please,” Ethan said softly. “Respect that this is something I don’t want to talk about. Not with anyone.”

  “Alright, alright. I’m not heartless. Nor stupid. I just…it was my clumsy way of trying to find out if you’re as happy as you look.”

  Ethan studied him with bemusement. “You have that much trouble believing that I am?”

  Merrick glanced pointedly at each window on either side of them, where colorful scenes of the city whizzed past them. “This isn’t you, Ethan. This is the polar opposite of you. So yeah, I guess I have my doubts. I don’t want to have them, but a part of me is still protective of you. I know, I know. I’ll get over it. I’m nearly there. But…not yet.”