For Love of Audrey Rose

by Frank De Felitta

  Janice watched him.

  “Leave me alone!” he barked.

  She stopped. Now he had hidden himself behind the main chimney. Frantically, the searchlights pawed the darkness for him, then settled on the red brick of the chimney.

  “Bill. Our child is cold. Bring her inside.”

  Bill wrapped Juanita tightly in blankets, even draping his own sweater over her. He was wearing only a sweater. Somehow, he must have lost his coat. He shivered, and his lips looked abnormally dark.

  “She’s cold, Bill darling. Let’s go home where it’s warm.”

  “Leave me alone!”

  “Bill! Look at her! It’s below freezing!”

  Bill rocked her gently in his arms, edging ever backward. Suddenly, Janice realized there was no railing behind him. She stopped, petrified.

  “Bill, if she gets sick, an untimely death. Remember? Is that what you want?”

  “Go away,” he repeated, but weaker.

  “When does it all end?” she pleaded. “Can you do to her what Hoover did to Ivy? Let her live, Bill! In peace!”

  “She’s mine,” he growled.

  “Of course, darling, but—”

  “Then go away.”

  Frustrated, Janice shivered as the wind picked up again. She heard whispers below, behind her, on the fire escape. She thought she heard Wilkins issuing fresh orders. She stepped forward.

  “Bill, there isn’t much time. Bring her inside. I’m begging you.”

  Bill retreated, saw the danger at the last moment, slipped, and nearly fell the other way. A bottle soared downward out of sight. Seconds later, they heard it crash. Screams rose from the street crowd.

  Bill turned to Janice, a hideous grimace on his face.

  “A little more time, just a little more time. That’s what you said. And all the while, you were leading me on. You knew three weeks ago.”

  “I did it for you, Bill!”

  Bill laughed, tucking the blankets closer around Juanita. He rocked her back and forth, comforting her, while his haggard eyes glared at Janice.

  “You’ve done nothing for me!” he snarled. “Not since the day Hoover came into our lives!”

  Janice paled. She had never seen him spit such venom at anyone, much less herself. It had all backfired, she knew.

  He stood upright, pointed a finger at her, “You knew… and you kept it from me!”

  “I had to, Bill, for your sake!”

  “Go away!”

  Janice turned. She heard the patrolman hissing to her. She backed closer to the fire escape platform where Borman and Wilkins sat, revolvers drawn.

  “Listen, Mrs. Templeton,” Wilkins whispered, “we’ve located this holy man, but in this weather, it’ll be a while before we can get him here. We can’t get nets around the whole building and we think he’s gonna jump. Now, I want you to get his attention. Get him to lower the child.”

  “No,” Janice said. “I won’t— You can’t shoot him.”

  “Get in position, Borman.”

  “No!”

  Janice ran halfway across the roof, then saw Bill back away. The gasps rose, from unseen mouths, below. He glared ominously at her.

  “Bill,” she pleaded. “There’s a priest coming. The priest of the Temple. You’ll let him talk to you?”

  “I got nothing to say to anybody.”

  “But he’s a holy man, Bill. He—he’ll know the signs. The real signs. Bill, you could be wrong!”

  Bill stared at her, unable to say anything. He clutched Juanita closer.

  “Will you let him come?” Janice asked as gently as she could. “Let him make the determination?”

  Bill said nothing, yet seemed to acquiesce. He settled himself miserably in the crook formed by the chimney and two guy wires. He turned his back to her, protecting himself as best he could from the wind.

  Janice inched back to the fire escape and knelt down. Cooper’s red face jerked, surprised to see her. Below Cooper was Wilkins.

  “He’s agreed to see the priest,” she whispered. “That means he’ll listen to reason.”

  Cooper and Wilkins looked at each other. Wilkins shrugged.

  “Okay. Let’s wait for His Highness,” Wilkins said. “Mrs. Templeton, you better stay up there. Engage his attention, keep talking, keep him calm.”

  Janice went back to the corner of the roof. As she circled the guardrails, Bill’s eyes followed her, but not his body, so that he remained hunched under the guy wires. Juanita seemed to sleep peacefully in his arms.

  Janice settled to a spot about ten yards in front of him, at a ventilator shaft. There they stared at each other, as though across a no-man’s-land, Bill’s face changing from grief to hostility to guilt, but never saying a word.

  He relaxed enough to lower his head, a sign of exhaustion. Then he jerked awake, scrambled to his knees, and stared feverishly into the darkness. He did not seem to know exactly where he was. Snow fell on his hair, stuck to his eyelids. He kissed Juanita’s cheek gently and brushed the snow from her curly hair.

  Down below the fire escape, a fresh commotion broke out as Mrs. Hernandez became hysterical with the waiting and had to be restrained.

  Suddenly, jeers rose from the crowd. It was like an echo of jackals, reverberating among the alleys and the bricks. The news teams poked one another and shifted their video lenses. Bill pulled himself to his feet, and looked around as the snow began to fall heavily again, obscuring his vision.

  “What?” he called. “Who’s there?”

  Up onto the roof, wearing black boots under his orange robe, the Master emerged. The wind whipped his robe around in a violent flutter. He blinked nervously, recognized Janice in the forms of snow and shadow among the debris. Then he followed her gaze to where Bill stood, clutching the infant.

  The spotlights suddenly crisscrossed over the Master’s body, like an incandescent lamp. He threw himself forward, arms outstretched, his yellow scarf billowing outward in the freezing wind: “Om ayuse samharakesvare hum phat.”

  Bill visibly paled, trembled at the words.

  The Master stepped closer, out of the swirling snowstorm, and pointed directly at the girl in Bill’s arms: “Om ayuse samharakesvare hum phat!!”

  Bill retreated, until snow slipped off the near edge of the roof. The Master hesitated.

  “I am Master Sri Parutha,” he whispered rapidly. “Give me the girl!”

  “No,” Bill protested, shaking his head, afraid of the Master. “I won’t! She’s mine!”

  “Have you passed the ninth circle of initiation?”

  “What?”

  “Have you?”

  “No, I—”

  “Then you are unqualified to judge her! It is for a holy man to say!”

  Janice did not know whether the Master was making it up or whether, in fact, he was genuinely quoting doctrine. Bill too seemed puzzled. The Master leaned forward but was afraid to take a step.

  Bill’s left foot was already slipping on the ice at the edge of the roof.

  “Give her to me!” the Master shouted.

  “No. Please, don’t make me—”

  “Hand her to me,” the Master said, softer now, almost friendly, “and let me make the determination.”

  Reluctantly, Bill, blinking back the tears and the snow from his eyes, took a single step and gently transferred the girl to the Master’s arms. In that instant, a shot rang out, red drops flew upward from Bill’s shirt, and he was flung backward onto the roof.

  Janice screamed from where she stood at the ventilator, and Borman climbed over the ledge, revolver drawn. Wilkins rapidly followed; the Master, face white, fell to his knees, though whether to protect Juanita or out of sheer terror even he did not know.

  “Bill!” Janice shouted, and ran over the snow.

  Her interposed body made it impossible for Borman to aim. Bill groaned, his legs kicking out, throwing clouds of snow into the night. He gritted his teeth in pain. As she clutched him, she saw a five-inch tear in his sh
irt, and flesh in his shoulder mixed with welling pools of blood.

  “Bitch! Bitch!” Bill groaned.

  “Bill! I meant to save you!” Janice wept.

  He tried to shove her away, but she clung to him, crying; the pain finally overcame him, and he moaned, his chest heaving up and down. Janice whirled around.

  “He’s dying!” she yelled. “Can’t you help him?”

  “He ain’t dying,” Wilkins said, still crouching, but his revolver lowering. “It’s just his shoulder.”

  Wilkins furiously hand-signaled to patrolmen in the street, pointed to an ambulance waiting at the barricade, then took Juanita from the Master’s arms, felt her pulse and peered into her eyes.

  “She’s okay,” he said. “Let’s get her inside.”

  Two more patrolmen swarmed onto the roof. One of them took the girl carefully in his arms and, with the help of yet another patrolman, eased her down the steps and into the corridor below. Cheers, mingled with hoots, rose from the audience below, and applause, some derisive, resounded over the cleared intersection.

  “You bitch!” Bill yelled, kicking futilely as Borman and Wilkins eased him to a sitting position, tore open his sweater and shirt. Soon a patrolman brought some cotton cloth and bandages, Bill was read his legal rights, and they pushed him to a standing position.

  Janice recoiled. Around Bill’s head was an aureole of drifting snow, like an oblong halo; and his face, grimacing in pain, looked like Christ’s as she had always imagined it—in agony, yet proud, and humble, but in Bill, unforgiving.

  “Bill,” she protested, shaking, a blanket draped over her shoulder by unknown hands. “I—I love you.”

  “Bitch!” he snarled.

  “That’s enough of the dramatics, friend,” Wilkins said. “Let’s go.”

  As they led him away, he resisted, so they hoisted him partially by the belt and partly under the good shoulder. As they approached the fire escape, more hands reached out, evidently afraid that he would try to throw himself off the roof.

  “You knew!” he suddenly yelled.

  A rough hand pushed his head down. Then he was gone.

  On the roof, dazed, Janice walked unsteadily over the snow. Her feet cut cleanly toward the Master, himself badly shaken, readjusting his orange robe, gazing down the sheer drop to the streets below.

  “Dear God,” Janice whispered, “what have I done?”

  “You did the only thing you could,” the Master said as comfortingly as he could.

  As he brushed the snow from her hair and shoulders, she swayed, grabbing his arm. He bent to support her, and then she shook her head violently, as though she were about to become ill. But she only looked dismally at the roof, the scuffles and streaks all over the snow, and a small red oval where Bill had fallen.

  “Would you talk to him?” Janice asked. “Help him?”

  The Master looked away. Over the neighboring roofs a pink light broke through from the adjacent city, making huge swirls of strange light around them.

  “I’m not sure,” he said evasively.

  “Why not? You helped tonight.”

  “Yes, but—that was before I held the girl.”

  Janice stared at him. For a moment, she thought her heart had stopped.

  “What?” she faltered.

  “One senses these things. One has training. My perceptions, after the holy utterance, were heightened.”

  He backed away, but she grabbed his sleeve.

  “What—what in heaven’s name are you trying to say?”

  “I—I’m not really sure, Mrs. Templeton. As I told you, I’m not completely versed in Tibetan Buddhism, their techniques. One has to go by impressions, purified by a life of training, of course. Strong impressions in the divination process…”

  “Are you trying to say—?”

  “It’s not for me to say,” the Master said quickly. “I think we’d better go.”

  “But, Master—”

  “Please, Mrs. Templeton. Let me go.”

  The Master reached the fire escape, slipped, but found his footing and climbed down and inside. Janice went in after him, but he was quickly lost in the crowd in the dark. All she saw was a group of policemen gathered near the stairwell, and all she heard was Mrs. Hernandez weeping again, and the sound of the weeping reverberated throughout the hallway until Janice thought she would go mad.

  BOOK II

  JANICE

  “I am beyond the perishable, and even beyond the imperishable.

  In this world and in the Vedas I am known as the Spirit Supreme.”

  The Words of Krishna

  10

  Janice stared into the transient forms of pure space. Low drones, like Tibetan mountain horns, reverberated around her while the ragged clouds flew by and disintegrated. She stretched her legs against the narrow seat in front of her and leaned down to examine the folders in her leather handbag. Belgian printed fabrics, cost analyses, and a spiral notebook of charcoal sketches. Next to that was a bulging envelope of Marseilles summer design, nearly fifty brochures from an international design conference. Janice found her third packet, a collection of leather designs from Christine Daler Ltd.’s newest outlet in Tel Aviv. It was all there, plus photocopies of several disputed pay claims. Janice leaned back, still weary from the past two weeks of travel, delegations, hotels, and indigestion. She took pleasure in watching the clouds roll by beyond the metal wing. At five hundred miles an hour, she was going east, not west.

  Her traveling case looked like a portable pharmacy. Antinausea pills, digestive liquids, antibiotics, and even powders to purify water. Passport, visa and, wrapped around the visa, a white paper. For the tenth time on the flight, she made certain the paper was there. It was an address, the only known conduit to Elliot Hoover.

  Sesh Mehrotra. Hindu University, Benares (Varanasi), U.P.

  The sunlight slanted in through the small curtains, white and pleasant on her hands. Janice realized she was nervously twisting her fingers into a locked mass, and she straightened her hands. She leaned back against the pillowed headrest and closed her eyes.

  Once again she saw the same crowds. Crowds hooting on the ice-slick, night-reflecting alleys of Spanish Harlem. Crowds leaning over the police car as Wilkins drove her away. Crowds in the Criminal Court Building. She even recognized the corridors that led to the hall where Hoover had stood trial a year before. But this was a small chamber, and held only one lawyer, Dr. Geddes, five police officials, a stenographer, and two court psychiatrists. It all moved swiftly, like the extraction of a tooth. When it was over, Dr. Geddes grimly took her by the elbow and escorted her through the crowds.

  It was then that the shock began to wear off. Janice found herself in a black limousine next to Dr. Geddes. A lawyer was next to the driver. It was a slow ride, the traffic was dense and gray in the filthy slush, and the limousine fought its way to the immense slabs of the parking structure behind Bellevue Hospital.

  Bellevue was so large to her, it felt like dying to walk into its catacombs and chambers. There was no sense of emergency anywhere, only a sad, hopeless atmosphere that breathed despair from every dank corner. In the inner corridors, past the security wardens, the patients and orderlies shuffled with identical slow, lead-weight steps, as though they had all been condemned to New York’s sepulcher for the insane.

  Dr. Geddes impatiently showed his credentials to yet another desk official. The lawyer demanded entrance, and threatened to telephone the court. Janice signed long forms, short forms, a declaration of intent, and waivers. They were led into an older wing of the complex, where a system of metal grids blocked off the corridors.

  Now there were sounds. Inhuman sounds that sent chills up her neck. There were cries, half barking, half howling, as she went by rooms where the inhabitants were unseen. The floors were covered with small drains, glistening ominously.

  Janice followed Dr. Geddes and the lawyer into a room with two cots, only one of which was occupied.

  It was Bill. T
hey had shaved his hair. There were two bright scars at the back of his neck and an oblong purple bruise on his jaw. His fingernails were cracked and grimy. According to the orderly, he was in isolation now because an inmate had tried to bite off his nose.

  Janice stared at his eyes sunk into a strange, hard skull, unseeing, uncaring. The marks on his face were as though painted on by a sadistic artist. He did not seem like Bill. Janice reeled, then touched his cheek, and when he made no response, she burst into tears at his feet.

  Dr. Geddes gently comforted her. “The important thing is that we get him out of this hellhole.”

  “Where is he going?” Janice stammered.

  “I couldn’t take him back to Ossining,” Dr. Geddes confided. “We don’t have the facilities. But there is an institution on Long Island—Goodland Sanitarium, part of the city’s authority—and I know the administration very well. It’s a very good hospital, very humane and decent, low density. Bill can get good, individual care.”

  Dumbly, Janice listened. Later, out on the streets of New York, the nightmare sensation escalated. From the hospital garage a car drove up with a guard and Bill in the backseat. Bill had been changed from his gray pajamas into his own clothes, but they no longer seemed to fit. He looked shrunken in the darkness of the thick upholstery. The driver and the guard were both broad-shouldered and ham-fisted, and they kept their eyes on him.

  As the car glided over the long system of bridges and thruways, Dr. Geddes began telling her about the institution. He had gone to medical school with the chief psychiatrist. The institution was opposed to the use of drug therapy. It had a relatively high rate of success. The landscape of Long Island swept by—marshland and distant stately homes obscured by clusters of brown apartment complexes, and then the lonely sweep to the sandy dunes again—and Janice saw none of it. She looked searchingly at Bill, and she knew that he was more dangerously sick than he had ever been before.