“I suggest you back away from the girl…now.” The hands on my body still and I sob with relief when I recognize the voice.
“There are guns pointed at every single one of you. Make one move except putting your hands behind your head and you’re all fucking dead.”
The hands leave my body. The bony fingers free my mouth and I fall to the ground as my legs give out, gasping for breath I don’t have.
A flashlight shines on the drunk men. One of them already had their jeans pulled down. I watch deliriously as Dimitri and another man handcuffs them one by one.
“If one of you moves a goddamn finger, you’re dead. Don’t fuck with me!” Dimitri snarls, bending down in front of me.
“Darcy, come on, sweetheart,” he says, taking my arms. “We need to get you to the hospital.”
I can barely stand. My legs are shaking uncontrollably. He must realize my struggle because he scoops me up into his arms, carrying me out of the alleyway to the car.
He sets me down in the back seat and shrugs out of his jacket, covering my bare chest. “You’re okay. We’ll be at the hospital in a couple of minutes.”
He shuts the door and my body trembles harder at the realization I’m not going to die.
The tears have stopped by the time Dimitri opens the door again, but my body is still convulsing with shock.
“Hold the jacket.” He lifts me as if I don’t weigh a thing. I try to move my hands but they don’t obey.
“I-I can’t,” I stutter, blackness blurring my vision.
***
“Darcy?”
My eyes blink open, adjusting to the bright lights. There is a woman above me. Her hair is the brightest red I’ve ever seen. “I’m Nancy. You’re in the hospital. I’m a physician.”
I look around the room frantically, searching for Dimitri.
“You passed out.”
“For how long?” I say hoarsely, sitting up.
“Not long. The man you came in with is in the waiting room talking to police.” She places a hand on my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” I tilt my head away from her touch. “I want to go home.”
“You’ll be able to leave soon, I promise. Do you understand what’s happened, Darcy?”
I can still feel their hands on me. “Yes.”
“I know this may be hard, but I need you to explain to me what happened if you can.”
I shake my head, panic washing over me like a infecting poison. “I can’t yet. I can’t.”
“Okay, just tell me if you were penetrated,” she replies calmly. “We need to know if we have to perform tests.”
“No. I wasn’t.”
I need to get out of here.
“You’re positive?”
“I’m sure.” I set my head back against the pillow.
“Okay, then this shouldn’t take long at all. I’m going to give you some pain relievers. You must have a killer headache.”
She moves to the counter and puts some pills into a plastic cup. I take it willingly and a cup of water, downing both of them.
She was right about the headache. My head is fucking killing me.
“I’m going to go set up the paperwork for your release. Do you need anything else?” she asks, touching my arm.
“No, thank you, doctor.”
***
“You’re all set to go.” The doctor smiles and lays my clothes down onto the bed. “The gentleman outside said he’d take you home. Is that fine, or would you like me to call you a cab?”
“Um, yes, that’s okay. I know him.” I stand. I can’t wait to get out of this hospital gown.
“You’re going to be sore. I can see you’re already going to have some bruises, especially on the lower half of your body. I would recommend resting for a couple of days before going back to work if you can.”
There’s no way I can take off work. I remain quiet.
“Well, I have to head to my next patient. I hope you never have to endure anything like this again.” She touches my face with tender care and my lip trembles, tears pooling in my eyes.
“You’re strong. You’ll be okay.”
Dragging the curtain shut, she leaves me to change.
***
I wrap the brown cotton jacket closer to my body on my way into the poorly lit waiting room accompanied by a nurse. I can’t tell if I’m freezing from the shock or from the temperature of this hospital.
We step into a room and I stop in my tracks at the sight of a disheveled Benjamin rising from a chair in a gray t-shirt and jeans. Dimitri is next to him, still in his suit.
“Darcy,” he breathes, and I want to hear that one word fall from his lips forever.
He runs to me and doesn’t stop until our lips collide. I fall back but he draws me to him with an exquisite force. I give in to the embrace, needing the comfort and the warmth even though I know I shouldn’t.
I lay my head on his chest while he asks the nurse over my head, “She’s free to go?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Come on. Let’s go,” Benjamin whispers, kissing my forehead.
Dimitri is holding open the door of the limousine. I run to him, hugging him tightly, and his bulky arms awkwardly embrace me back.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, Miss. Of course.” He pats my back a couple of times and I realize how uncomfortable I’m probably making him, so I pull away and step into the car.
Benjamin slides in behind me and exhales loudly, tugging my body to his. His hands are in my hair, stroking the mess sweetly. “I’ve never been so scared in my life,” he confesses, winded.
I bring my hands up to his shirt and his body heat warms me.
He pulls back, looking down. “You’re shaking.”
“The doctor said it’s common.” I leave out the part where I tell him I am already well accustomed to the symptoms of shock.
He takes my hands in his and brings them to his lips, kissing them repeatedly. I’m staring at his face, in awe of how tender he’s being with me.
Why is he doing this?
“Will you consider coming back to my place? I don’t want to leave you like this.”
No way.
I shake my head. “No, I need to be home.”
“Then let me stay over at your place,” he presses, and I raise an eyebrow suspiciously. Truth is, I definitely don’t want to be alone tonight, but I don’t know what a night with Benjamin will do to me again.
“Ben, you hate my apartment, and last time we talked, you hated me. I’m grateful that you saved my life, but I don’t understand this.”
“I do hate your apartment, but I never hated you. I was angry from what I heard, yes, but I never hated you.” He takes a deep breath. “I can explain later. Let me stay with you tonight.”
No.
Yes.
No. No way.
Yes.
No. Don’t do it.
“Okay.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Usually I dread coming home, but right now I could kiss the uneven planks in front of my apartment building I’m so relieved to be here.
“Dimitri, I’ll be staying the night here. I’ll have my phone on me.”
“Sir, her bag.”
“Oh yes. Darcy, your purse. Anthony got it for you.” Benjamin hands the bag to me.
“Thank you.” I clutch it to my chest and step out of the car. Ben holds the door open for me.
“I’m stunned they haven’t invested in a security lock on the door in this neighborhood,” Benjamin complains. “Anyone could just walk in here.”
I barely register what he’s saying. I reach into my purse, fishing for my keys, but my shaking fingers make it impossible. Frustrated tears fill my eyes, despite my attempts to remain calm in front of him.
“Here, let me,” Benjamin says, taking the bag from me gently.
“I’m sorry.” He has to be regretting coming home with me.
He puts the key into the lock
and opens the door. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Darcy. Come on, let me make you some tea.”
Tea? Benjamin Scott makes tea?
He shuts the door behind me and I remember I’m safe in my apartment with a man who I can trust not to hurt me. Well, physically at least.
“I’m okay. I don’t need tea. I just want to take a shower.”
“I’ll be out here.” He shuffles awkwardly at the entranceway.
“You can go to bed. I know it’s really late. Well, early,” I correct when I notice the sun is breaking.
“All right.”
I go into my bathroom, shut the door, and lean against it, breathing in deeply. I’m finally alone.
I step in front of my mirror, not even surprised at how I look. The dark makeup is dried, covering half my face from the crying. I undress in a mechanical fashion and step into scalding water. It’s probably burning my flesh right off the bone, but it still feels good. I just want their hands off me. I want to stop feeling their hands on me.
I snatch up the loofah and scrub my body.
I can still smell their breath.
Hear the blade cutting my fabric just above my body.
See the glazed look in their eyes indicating they had probably been drinking all night and then some.
Feel their hands pulling at me as if I were a rag doll, a piece of trash for them to use and throw out.
I don’t even realize it right away, but recalling what happened forces me to the floor of the shower and I curl into myself, releasing the sobs into my hands. I don’t know how long I’m there but I hear a timid knock on the door.
“Darcy?”
“Y-Yes?” I wipe underneath my eyes.
The door clicks open and I know he’s inside. “I made tea. Are you okay? You’ve been in here a while.”
“Yeah, I’m good. I’ll be right out.”
My voice cracks at the end of my sentence, betraying me. I know he heard it.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I can’t feel my hands.” I shiver, feeling the temperature dropping drastically in the shower.
Am I going into shock?
“Uh, I don’t…will you…can I see you?” He tumbles over his words. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice that weak.
“Okay,” I half-whisper/half-sob.
Benjamin opens the curtain. His mouth parts slightly in shock, but he recovers quickly and bends down.
“God, Darcy. Why wouldn’t you tell me you were like this? You should have called me in sooner.” He takes my hands, blowing on them. Without asking, he reaches over for the shampoo and drops some into his hands, washing and then rinsing my hair.
***
“I’ve never bathed someone else,” Benjamin confesses with a chuckle, helping me stand. He takes a blue towel off the rack and he holds it open for me to step into it. “Did I pass?”
All I can do is nod. I don’t want to cry anymore. Still standing in the tub, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him into me. The gratitude I have for this man is unspeakable. He’s not a jerk, he’s an actual decent guy. A decent guy who handles things badly but a good guy altogether. He recovers from the surprise of the impact and holds me just as tightly.
“God, Ben. I don’t…I don’t even know what to say.” I nuzzle my face into his chest. He isn’t complaining that I’m getting him wet. He doesn’t complain about anything.
He helps me out of the tub. Reaching in my drawer, he takes out my nightgown and panties and hands them to me. I survey his drenched clothes and shake my head.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hugged you.” He looks down at himself. “Uh, I could dry them for you if you want. I don’t have anything your size though.”
“You’ve seen me in my briefs. I guess that’s fine.” In a flash he pulls the wet t-shirt over his head.
I spin around. It feels wrong to look. I’ve dreamt so many times of seeing his body again, but not like this. Not in this state of awkwardness. Not after the night I’ve had.
“I’m going to go change. Just leave the clothes there. I’ll put them in the dryer.” I return to the bathroom.
***
When I step out, Benjamin’s in the kitchen, dressed down to his briefs. He senses me hovering and picks up the mug. “I heated it up again. It was cold.”
Even though I don’t want it, I take it from his hands gratefully. Sipping the warm liquid, I realize it feels wonderful going down my throat, comforting.
“Thank you.” I go over to the dryer to put his clothes in, then head to bed. I’m exhausted. He runs his hand through his hair and goes to the other side, obviously unsure of how to act.
“Come to bed.”
He exhales softly and lies down next to me over the covers. I sigh, relieved to be home.
“How did you know?” I ask as the time ticks by, turning so we’re facing each other.
“I had Dimitri monitoring the security cameras outside of your job. That’s why he wasn’t there right away. I’m so sorry.”
He lays his hand over mine.
“Why are you sorry? I’m lucky you were even watching. I’d probably be dead right now if you hadn’t.”
“After tonight, I was worried.”
“What happened tonight? Why were you there?”
“You weren’t answering my calls. A recording kept saying there was no one by that number, so I figured you blocked me and it seemed too stalker-ish to check, so—”
“I changed my number.”
His lips turn down just barely and he nods. “That explains it. I couldn’t get ahold of you and every time I called your job, that Kevin guy picked up, so I decided to just show up.”
“Oh.”
“Then I saw that guy put his hands up your skirt and I fucking lost it. I realize now I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head and lay my hand on his cheek. He flinches slightly and I realize my hands are still freezing. “Oh, sorry.” I begin to move my hand but he clasps it, holding it there.
“Don’t,” he pleads. The look of vulnerability on his face is uncomfortable to witness, and yet I can’t look away. “Keep it there.”
“I’m happy you defended me. Thank you.”
For once the city is quiet in the early hours of the morning. I sigh, letting my eyes close.
After a couple of minutes, I’m practically drifting from consciousness, and Benjamin removes my hand from his cheek and his arm goes around my waist, holding me close. My cold body meets his warm one and I’m completely and utterly safe.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
When I awake, I’m struck by the realization that my muscles are tensed, feeling atrophied. I can feel the damage done to my body. Hearing rustling in the apartment, I sit up abruptly, then inhale with relief when I see Benjamin cooking in my kitchen.
He’s still here?
I glance at the alarm clock on my nightstand and do a double take. It’s two in the afternoon!
“Hi,” I say, and add, “You’re not at work.”
“I’m not going in today.” He turns, spatula in hand, a look of wariness on his face. “I hope it’s okay that I’m still here. I don’t know if you want to be alone.”
I shake my head frantically. “No, I want you here. I was just surprised. You’re not going to work?”
“No.”
“Have you ever even missed a day of work?” I chuckle.
“Nope. This would be a first.”
“Oh.”
“I was just making some food, although it may not be very good.”
“Oh yeah? What did you make?” I scoot over to the edge of the bed and get to my feet. My body aches, making it difficult to stand.
By the look of discomfort on my face, I think he realizes my pain. “Where are you hurting?”
“Everywhere, but to be specific…my legs.” I touch my thigh and surely enough, the pain is radiating from there. I feel my face flush. Benjamin’s brows crease and he goes back to cooking. I thi
nk he’s trying to relieve the awkwardness.
Excusing myself, I limp to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly. After girding myself, I pull my dress up enough to see the dark purple bruises scattered along the insides of my thighs.
Oh my god.
I drop the material and cover my mouth in shock. I try to get ahold of myself.
You have a man out there that doesn’t need to go through this shit with you. Get yourself together, dammit!
I glance at my reflection in the mirror, nod, and open the door.
“So what are you making?” I ask with false brightness, coming up behind Benjamin.
“How bad is it?” he asks without turning around.
“Not bad. What are you making?”
“Darcy,” he repeats, his voice low.
“Stop,” I bark, and he finally faces me. “Please, I just want to forget it.”
He swallows hard. “Okay.”
“Okay…so, what are you making?”
“Pancakes. I’m a little nervous, though. It’s my first time cooking something.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
I survey his creation. It looks interesting enough. I’ve never seen pancakes that color before but okay, I’m game.
“Well, I’m honored.” I pull the carton of orange juice from the fridge.
I set the table and snicker in amusement when he burns the last two pancakes. He throws them out and joins me at the table, looking quite proud of himself.
“The most successful man in New York and you’re proud of making pancakes.” I giggle and choose one of the disfigured shapes from off the aqua-colored plate.
While he sits apprehensively, I cut a large piece of it with my fork and pop it into my mouth.
It’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. I desperately hope for maybe an aftertaste that is at least semi-pleasant but nope, I’m struggling to chew it.
I resist spitting it out and swallow, rather loudly, as the pancake is as dry as sandpaper.
“It’s good.” I smile. “It’s really good. What did you put in it? It tastes…different?”
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