My Way Back to You: New York Times Bestselling Author

by Claire Contreras

Cody looked at me, as if waiting for an answer.

  I smiled. “Why not?”

  “Sure.”

  On our walk over, I stopped and told Celia I was going next door for dinner and asked her to join us.

  “I’ll pass but come back when you’re done. I’ll be here.” She said hi to Cody, who was behind me and looked at me again, saying everything she could possibly say with those expressive eyes of hers. I shot her a warning glance.

  “Sam, buy her another drink,” Celia said.

  “I’m on it,” Sam said behind me.

  “I got it,” Chloe added, wiggling one of the glasses in her hand before handing it over. “This one’s yours.”

  We sat in a large booth—Sam and Chloe beside each other, Cody and I across from them. I took a sip of the drink Chloe had given me and eyed the menu.

  “I’m not really hungry and don’t want to lose my buzz, so I am just going to sit and drink while I wait for dessert.”

  “I think I’ll do the same,” Chloe announced.

  “I guess I’ll stay sober,” Sam said.

  “How’s Miles handling being in the states?” Cody asked.

  “He loves it. He’s still in daycare. Full day.”

  “He can probably teach his peers a thing or two. Kid started reading when he was two years old,” Sam said, interrupting. “He talks about things I didn’t even know kids knew about.”

  “That’s impressive.”

  “He’s the cutest,” Chloe added.

  “Are you talking about me again, Chloe?”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin at his voice and then shot Sam a glare for not warning me that Rowan would be here.

  “Not talking about you.” Chloe smiled and shook her head.

  “I thought you said you weren’t coming,” Sam said.

  “You aren’t glad I’m here?”

  Cody’s phone started to vibrate on the table and he glanced at the screen before giving me an apologetic look. “I’ll be right back.”

  I sighed, watching him walk off. Rowan took the opportunity to slide into the booth beside me, so close I could smell his cologne. I wanted to rip it off him and stomp on it and all of the memories it brought back.

  “I didn’t want to miss the grand opening. It looks nice, Sam. Really nice.” He looked around for good measure. I took a healthy gulp of my drink, which was completely going straight to my head.

  “I am such a bitch,” I said.

  Sam cleared his throat and made a show of picking up the menu. “Maybe we should order you some food.”

  “Leave her alone. She’s getting laid tonight. She’s allowed to loosen up,” Chloe said.

  I felt Rowan stiffen beside me. Was it me or was he seriously too close to me? I started to feel hot and pressed closer to the inside of the booth, taking another sip before Sam lifted the glass from my hand and set it on his side of the table.

  “Hey!”

  “Nope. You shouldn’t be going home with anyone if you’re tipsy,” Sam commented.

  “What if it’s Cody?” Chloe asked in a mock whisper.

  “Especially not if it’s Cody.” I frowned. “I’m not trying to ruin a friendship. I was supposed to click with some random guy and fuck him. One-night stand, you know?”

  Rowan exhaled heavily beside me. He waved down the waitress and ordered himself a scotch, neat.

  “He’s cute though, right?” I looked at Chloe. She nodded, eyes wide.

  “Make it a double please,” Rowan told the waitress. “And bring two.”

  I glanced over to him. He looked so fucking good. He smelled so fucking good too. I may have said that aloud, because his eyes sparkled. Maybe he read my mind. Either way, I added, “I hate you.”

  “That makes two of us,” he replied.

  “Maybe Ro and I should go talk to some people while you guys eat,” Sam said.

  “So, this guy Cody is just your friend?” Rowan asked casually, completely ignoring his brother. “Not your boyfriend?”

  “Boyfriend?” Chloe scoffed. “Do you know her?”

  Rowan’s eyes were smoldering when they met mine. “Oh, I know her.”

  “Rowan.” My voice may have sounded a little breathless and a lot needy. His eyes darkened even more. He put his hand beside mine on the booth, his fingertips touching mine, my pulse jumping with the simple move. I couldn’t make myself look away, not even as Chloe continued talking about my and Cody’s friendship. Somehow, Rowan’s hand ended up over mine completely, his eyes on me as if he were afraid to look anywhere else. With each passing second, I felt my breath slip away a little more.

  “Don’t go home with him,” he whispered.

  “You have no right to ask that of me,” I whispered back.

  “I know I don’t, and that fucking kills me, but please, don’t go home with him.”

  “If I asked you not to go home to your wife, would you listen?” I needed to break this spell, but I couldn’t seem to gather the strength to actually do it, a shortcoming I blamed on the bourbon. Definitely.

  “Stop calling her my wife,” he said.

  “Isn’t that what she is?”

  “On paper.”

  “Isn’t that all a marriage is? A piece of paper?”

  “Tessa.” It was a groan, a plea. I moved my hand from underneath his and put it on my lap, he reached over and grabbed it again, threading his fingers through mine. “It’s a sham, and you know it.” It was the caress of his thumb across the sensitive skin of my wrist that made heat pool between my legs. I gripped his hand tighter in warning. He looked like he was having a hard time not touching me.

  Cody walked back to the table and I forced myself to tear my gaze away from Rowan and sit upright.

  “I think I may try Tessa’s diet tonight,” Cody said.

  “Cody, tell Sam we’ve never slept together.” Cody chuckled, but his eyes held no amusement. Rowan’s hand tightened around mine beneath the table.

  “We haven’t,” he said and then looked at Rowan. “Nice to see you again.”

  “Likewise,” Rowan responded in a voice that sounded anything but pleasant.

  Sam put his menu down again. “Ro, let’s go talk to—”

  “No, I’m perfectly fine right here,” Rowan said, interrupting Sam. The waitress brought his drinks and set them in front of him before asking if we were ready to order. Sam ordered three appetizers for the table and shot me a warning look as I grabbed my drink back.

  “You’re so bossy today.” I giggled. Fucking giggled, and I didn’t even care that I sounded like a child. I felt good. I felt free. I hadn’t experienced the New York nightlife and if this was it, I was totally about it. I mean, as long as Miles was home sleeping it wasn’t as if I was missing out on anything. Not even Rowan could dampen my mood.

  “Have you taken Miles anywhere fun?” Cody asked.

  “Not yet. I’m telling you, we haven’t had time.”

  “Miles?” Rowan asked. His grip tightened. Our gazes clashed and I swore my whole world pitched on its axis.

  Cody’s phone buzzed again. He exhaled loudly. “Sorry. Be right back.”

  “Tessa, why don’t you and Rowan switch seats?” Sam suggested, clearly trying to save me. “So, you won’t have to speak over the table?”

  “Good idea.” I tried to take my hand back from Rowan’s.

  “Absolutely not.”

  “What? Why not?” I pulled my hand again.

  “Because I’m comfortable here.”

  “That’s a stupid reason.” I raised an eyebrow, shook my hand in his once more. Finally, he let go, but he didn’t move.

  “You want me to switch seats so you can flirt? No.”

  His words hit me quick and hard. I blinked. Even in my tipsy state I could tell that he was jealous. Jealous! For some reason, I found it both humorous and offensive.

  “You got married,” I said in what I thought was a hushed whisper but probably wasn’t. “Seriously. Switch seats.”

  “Ro, switch
seats with her.” Sam’s voice was almost a plea.

  “This is unbelievable.” Rowan slid out of the booth and I followed, taking a deep breath when I stood. He caught my elbow, those blue eyes intense on mine, and leaned in. “For the record, I don’t like seeing you flirt with other men.”

  “For the record, I don’t like seeing you married to other women.” I yanked my elbow away.

  He glowered at me another beat before sliding into the booth. I slid in after, staying closer to Cody’s side. When he walked back toward the booth, he smiled wide.

  “I like this seating arrangement,” he announced, sliding in beside me and leaning close to whisper, “You okay with you-know-who? What’s the deal with that situation?”

  “Nothing. There is no deal.” I tried—and failed—to laugh it off. “No deal. Get it?” I was looking at Rowan, who was watching me like he wanted to flip this table over and kill someone. It made me smile wider. I definitely needed to drink more water. I pulled a glass to me.

  Sam cleared his throat from the other side of the table just as my phone vibrated in my purse. A text message alert. I fished it out and looked at it.

  Sam: You need to tell him. You just said Miles’s name.

  I rolled my eyes, but my heart did a little thrash as I typed out a quick response.

  Me: I need time.

  Sam: He isn’t an idiot.

  Me: You knew I named him Miles, you’ve seen him a million times, and you still say you didn’t know.

  I glanced up at Sam. His eyes met mine, narrowing in warning. My phone buzzed again.

  Sam: Stop talking to Cody about Miles in front of him. It’s fucked up.

  Me: I’m fucked up.

  Sam: Trust me, we all know that. Stop drinking if you’re really going home with him. PS. I don’t think you should.

  Me: Thanks, Dad.

  Sam: Trying to look out for you.

  That made my frown deepen. Cody spoke and took my attention off the situation, but my mind stayed on Sam and the texts and Rowan, who I couldn’t seem to get away from no matter where I went. Whose face I saw every time I looked at the little boy who owned my heart.

  Chapter Twelve

  Rowan

  I watched Tessa and Cody sort of dance as they flirted and knew this was what hell must have felt like. Then I reminded myself of the time I saw her when she was pregnant and had been beautiful and glowing and laughing with this very man. She said she had never slept with him, which would mean the boy wasn’t his, but evidentially, she was into one-night stands. Fuck. I’d give my left arm to have one of those with her.

  Who the fuck put that baby inside her and left?

  Maybe he hadn’t left, maybe she was the one who walked away.

  Oh, God. What if she was raped? I shut that thought down. It was too inconceivable to even consider.

  I shouldn’t have been pondering any of this in the first place. It was clear she was over me. Sure, she may still find me attractive. Sure, there was still that invisible line between us that seemed to vibrate whenever she was near, but none of those things mattered. Not even love seemed to matter. She’d told me she loved me, and I’d turned her away. I didn’t deserve any more than this.

  “You look miserable.”

  I turned to see my friend Dean beside me. “The way you walk through crowds and go unnoticed is scary.”

  “Part of my charm.” His mouth tilted up slightly.

  He wasn’t a huge guy. At first sight, I would’ve bet money I could take him down, but he had this glint in his eyes that instilled fear in those around him. I was sure he’d won plenty of fights with that glint alone. I’d met Dean at a bar not long after I’d seen Tessa pregnant at that convention. Needless to say, I was alone and drunk as hell. We sparked up a conversation, mostly me rambling on and on about it, and he said he’d do me a once in a lifetime favor and find out everything about the guy she was with. I’d laughed it off but had given him my phone number nonetheless. With not much to go on, he’d found Cody Maverick. That was when I figured out where we’d met. Jealousy had torn through me, but knowing they’d met because of me really kicked my ass. Dean and I became fast friends afterward, even though he wasn’t very forthcoming with his information. He was always out of town working, but I didn’t have a clue what he did for work or whether or not he had a family. I didn’t know much about him at all, except that he was loyal and kind underneath his rugged exterior. I glanced at him.

  “I’m surprised you’re in town.”

  “Work.”

  “Hm.” I commented. “Stalking people?”

  His lips twitched ever so slightly. “You could say that.”

  I shook my head and turned my attention back to Tessa and Cody. I wanted nothing more than to rip his hand off the spot on her waist. She seemed comfortable around him and completely okay with his advances. She seemed so happy and free around him and so guarded around me. I hated the thought of that, but I couldn’t blame her.

  “That’s your chick, isn’t it?” Dean asked. I blinked over to him.

  “If she were my chick . . .” I said, chuckling around the word. I would love to see Tessa’s face if I ever referred to her as my chick. “That guy would have no fingers when I was done with him.”

  This made Dean laugh wholeheartedly. “I’d actually pay to see that.”

  “I guess she’s back in town for good,” I said.

  “With Cody Maverick in tow.”

  “I’m surprised you remember his name.” It’d been a long time ago.

  “I remember everything. All the time.”

  “Some would say it’s a gift.”

  “Some,” he agreed, meeting my gaze again. “Would you?”

  Somehow, I felt he knew the answer to that. I looked at Tessa again, thinking about all the things I remembered and would love to forget. Even if I did try to get her back, there were too many things in our way. The contracts for the company were still pending, probably sitting on the desk of my grandfather’s lawyer. My divorce was pending, still sitting on Camryn’s lap while she doodled on the pages with her stupid pink pen as if she had a choice in the matter.

  It wasn’t the time to go after Tessa. It really wasn’t. She glanced up at me from across the dance floor, her eyes finding mine. I lowered my drink. She lowered the bottle of water she was sipping. Maybe I was looking for it, but I felt the invisible rope between us give a tug. I debated it. If I went to her, I’d be all-in. It was a step I wanted to make, one that was three years overdue.

  When I took it, I had to make sure there would be no excuses or things standing in the way. No reason or excuse she could use to hide from me, from us. I stared a moment too long before walking away. Dean was at my side when I walked out the door.

  “If it makes you feel any better, Maverick isn’t the kid’s father.”

  I knew that already, but I still found myself asking, “What?”

  “You said you just wanted to know who the guy was, and when I tried to give you more details, you weren’t hearing me.” He lit a cigarette and continued, “You ready to hear the rest?”

  “Fine, I’ll bite. Whose name is on the birth certificate.” My throat felt dry all of a sudden. I fought the urge to walk back into that bar and grab another drink. It wouldn’t end well. Clearly, I wasn’t equipped to handle important information while under the influence of alcohol.

  “The father isn’t listed and the kid’s name is Miles. Miles Frederick Monte.”

  My throat closed up a bit. Miles. Why would she do that? A tiny voice of possibility whispered in my ear, but I shooed it away. When I’d seen her, she hadn’t been that far along. When I saw Freddie yesterday, he hadn’t given one hint of possibility that I might be the father. Hell, Freddie would’ve kicked my kneecaps and stabbed me if he had any inkling that I was the father and had been absent all this time. Besides, Samson would’ve told me.

  “What’s his birthdate?”

  “May fourth.”

  I felt my jaw tense
as I did the math in my head. He was three and change. “Why wouldn’t my brother tell me?”

  “I thought you told him not to bring her up.”

  “I did, but he never listened.”

  “You’d be surprised the things people keep from you for the sake of protection.”

  “Protection?” I glanced over at him as we walked. “I don’t need protection from my son, assuming he is my son, which is highly doubtful.”

  “I wasn’t talking about you.” He looked like he might say something more insightful. Instead, he kept it to himself and walked beside me in silence. Why would they think the child would need protection from me? Was I that much like my father? The thought festered inside me the rest of the night.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rowan

  I couldn’t let it go. I tossed and turned all night, and it wasn’t because of Tessa and Cody’s flirting. It was the Miles thing. I’d spent hours trying to reconcile everything, and when the sun rose, I was still right where I started.

  At just after six in the morning, someone decided to lean on my doorbell, which was enough to have me out of bed and storming though my house. If this was my brother’s idea of a sick joke, I’d kick his ass. Then I’d kick his ass again for not telling me about Miles.

  Exhausted, angry, and out of patience, I ripped my front door open and then froze.

  “You changed the lock?” Camryn glared, shaking her head. “Seriously?”

  “I didn’t want you to think I was going to allow you back into my life,” I said over my shoulder as I walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open knowing she’d follow. She slammed it behind her, and I stilled in my steps, turning around. “I don’t expect you to respect me, but at the very least, respect my house.”

  “Right, because you can’t afford a new door or doorframe.”

  “That isn’t the point, Camryn.” I set the coffee to brew. “What do you want?”

  “What? A wife can’t visit her husband?” She set her oversized, overpriced bag on the counter and batted her eyelashes.

  I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter as I waited for the coffee to brew. Her gaze fell over my naked torso and heated with lust. This wasn’t new, and I’d been effectively batting her away for nearly four years, something I’d been proud of because if nothing else the woman could turn a man inside out with her advances.