Crash Into Me

by K. M. Scott

  "I'm eager to see what you've chosen, Nina."

  "I'm excited to show you. I think it's you to a T, and it fits with the decor of your bedroom there. Would you like to see the picture of it? I have it ready on my laptop."

  He nodded and I made my way around his desk to show him. A few clicks and the image of my choice was sitting on the screen.

  He studied it for what seemed like hours and then turned to look up at me. I couldn't tell anything by his placid expression, so I waited for him to say something to let me know what he thought. But he wasn't going to make it that easy for me.

  "Tell me why you think this is what I should have taking up that blank spot on my wall in my bedroom. This will be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night before I fall asleep, so convince me this is what I should have on my mind at such important times."

  I looked down at the picture I'd stared at for an hour before he came home and began. "The frame is a dark wood, but in truth, it could be any frame you prefer and work with what the decor is there. It's the print inside the frame that's perfect. A masculine design with Greek inspired scrollwork, the words 'No legacy is so rich as honesty' speak to everything you've told me about yourself from the first night I met you. You have all the money and wealth you desire, which I'm sure includes the luxuries of fame, others desiring you, and any material possession you could want. Yet you've told me over and over in the short time I've known you that you value my honesty. I have to believe that for all your wealth you don't have people in your life who will give you this one thing you desire."

  He waited a long time before he finally spoke. With a smile, he finally said, "Very impressive, Nina. Your talents were sorely underutilized at the Anderson Gallery. That's more than clear. Do you have anything else you'd like to present in your proposal?"

  I knew he was trying to unnerve me, but I wasn't going to be shaken. I believed in my choice and stood by it. Shaking my head, I tilted my chin upward slightly. "No. That's all."

  That sexy, slow grin I loved spread across his lips. "It's perfect. I knew you'd be wonderful at this. Give Rogers the details tomorrow and he'll see that it finds its way to that blank spot on the wall."

  I couldn't help but beam my satisfaction. My first assignment was a smashing success, and even more, I'd shown him that I understood the kind of man he was. In some ways, that meant more to me than his approval of my choice.

  "Are you hungry?" he asked as he stood from behind his desk. "I've got a craving for pizza."

  "I'm always in the mood for pizza! Is there a good place around here?"

  "There is. It looks like it's straight out of a movie with checkered tablecloths and placemats with pictures of the map of Italy on them, but the people who own it know how to make good pizza."

  This felt like a real date! Excited, I said, "I can be ready in minutes, if you can."

  Before he answered, I was off like a shot to grab my bag and make sure I looked presentable. A few minutes later I returned to find him standing there in his suit and tie looking particularly unready for slices at a little pizza place. Likely, dressed like that, he'd stick out as badly as he did at The Last Drop. Stepping toward him, I ran my finger down his tie and smiled up at him. "Maybe you could loosen this tie and look like it's not your first time eating pizza."

  Tristan arched one dark eyebrow. "Are you insinuating that I look uptight?"

  "You've gone to this place before, right? I'm going to guess that nobody spoke a word to you the whole time you were there."

  I saw by the slight downturn of his mouth that I was right. They'd probably thought he was some FBI agent coming to town to track down some serial killer. He had that icy, government official vibe sometimes.

  As I slid the tie from around his collar, I explained, "They probably got the wrong idea about you. Small town pizza places don't likely get too many customers who look like you do."

  "You make it seem like I'm some sultan. It's a suit and tie, Nina."

  I stepped back and looked him up and down. "It's a suit that costs more than many people make in a month and a tie that likely cost more than most teenagers pay for a pair of sneakers, Tristan. Ordinary people don't wear that to get a slice of pizza."

  He took the tie out of my hands and brought my fingers to his lips for a kiss. Settling his gaze on me, he said quietly, "Neither of us are ordinary, no matter how much you want to be."

  His stubborn belief that I was anything but the regular person I'd always been made me smile. "Well, we don't have to flaunt our extraordinariness all the time. Sometimes it's just nice to appear like ordinary people, so off with the tie and jacket."

  Tristan narrowed his eyes slightly for a moment, surprised by my order, but the jacket followed the tie and he was ready to go. "Better?"

  "The top button can be undone too, if you really want to look relaxed," I teased.

  He opened his collar and motioned toward the door. "I hope the car is going to be okay," he said in a mocking tone. "Or do we have to walk or buy some used car?"

  As I headed for the front door, I said, "Now you're not taking this seriously at all, are you?"

  "On the contrary. I'm up for buying another car. Or maybe a horse and buggy would help with toning down the...what did you call it?"

  I turned around at the car and laughed. "Extraordinariness. It's a word."

  "It's a mouthful," he joked and lifted my chin to kiss me. "Now get in the car. Pizza's waiting."

  He hadn't exaggerated in his description of Tony's Pizza Heaven. Red and white checkered tablecloths covered the old square Formica tables and at each place setting were paper placemats with red, white, and green maps of Italy and cartoon drawings of major tourist attractions, like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Coliseum, on them. The wooden chairs were old and hard, but the place was warm and comfortable.

  I skimmed over the laminated menu while Tristan seemed to study it, but when the waitress came over to take our order he was quick to tell her we wanted a large pizza and a pitcher of soda. I sat staring at him thinking how surreal this scene was.

  He noticed my confused expression. "Something wrong?"

  I wasn't sure if something was wrong. Maybe it was how comfortable he seemed at a place I'd been so sure he wouldn't fit in. Shaking my head, I answered, "No. You seem quite at home here."

  "Surprised? You think you know me, but you don't know everything about me, Nina."

  "I guess I don't. That's okay. You don't know everything about me either."

  Smiling, he remained quiet, making me feel like he knew more than I suspected. The silence between us made me feel uneasy, and I shifted in my chair and looked past him at the pictures on the far wall. Black and white photographs of Italian architecture were scattered along the walls of the restaurant and set me at ease. Very much like art, they were beautiful to look at, even in their cheap faux wood frames.

  As the silence between us continued, I wanted to ask if he'd been to this place with his family. The images of their faces stayed in my mind, making me wish I could learn more about them. The idea of an exact duplicate of Tristan out there somewhere in the world intrigued me, and the fact that he never mentioned anything about him or his parents made me want to know about them even more.

  But if I'd learned anything in the time I'd known Tristan Stone, it was that he spoke only when he wanted to and only about things he wanted to let the world know.

  True to his claim, the pizza was terrific and after he'd gotten a slice into him, he became even more relaxed and began talking. This was the man I loved being around, and there he was sitting in that tiny pizza place in the middle of nowhere, of all the unlikely places.

  "I think you'll be tackling Dallas next," he said with a wink.

  "Talking about work after five? Doesn't that break your rule?"

  "Isn't that what rules are for?"

  Who was this man? "Are you saying you like to break the rules? Mr. Suit-And-Tie wants to flout convention?"
/>   "Let's take it easy on the flouting," he said with a chuckle. "As for Dallas, let's plan on Wednesday."

  "Well, since you want to talk about work, what can you tell me about Dallas?"

  There was that devilish grin again. "Let's just say it's going to be a golden opportunity for you to stretch your imagination."

  "Sounds pretty cryptic. Care to offer any more details?" I asked as I leaned over toward his side of the table.

  He leaned in toward me and smiled. "Just remember I have faith in you."

  I waited for him to continue, but he just sat there staring and smiling at me. Finally, I said, "I think you're making me nervous. Are you just trying to psyche me out?"

  "Me? Never."

  "Well, that's good because I'm a woman on a mission. You'll see. Expect to be impressed."

  His mouth grazed mine, and he licked his lips. "I already am."

  When we got back to the house, I expected us to get into bed as we had most nights since I began living there, but he disappeared almost as soon as we walked in the door. I waited for him to come to my room, but an hour later he still hadn't and I made up my mind to find him.

  I was surprised to see him coming out of his room dressed in a tux. He was leaving again to attend some affair and not taking me. Instantly, it felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest. I was good enough to sleep with or hang out with at some out of the way restaurant, but I wasn't good enough to show off to his fancy friends.

  "Nina, I'll be back later if you want to talk."

  Choking back tears, I angrily blurted out, "Talk about what? How unworthy I am to be taken anywhere anyone might see you with me?"

  "You're being silly," he said as he tried to push past me.

  I pushed against him, refusing to let him leave. "Don't treat me like I'm merely your goddamn employee."

  "You are my employee, Nina, even if we are more than just that to each other."

  His voice was flat and so much colder than it had been just a short time earlier as we ate pizza together. Why did he have to be like this? Was I really that embarrassing to be seen with at his parties?

  "If we're more, then why don't you ever ask me to go wherever you go when you're all dressed up like this?" I asked, hating the needy sound of the words coming from my mouth.

  "You wouldn't like these kinds of events."

  "Don't dismiss me like this. I don't deserve it."

  He pushed past me and walked toward the front door. I caught up with him just as he opened the door to leave, and he turned to face me. "I never said you did. I can't take you to many of the places I have to go, but that doesn't mean I don't want you by my side. It just can't be. That's the way it is."

  "Why? I'm good enough for you to basically beg me to work for you and good enough to fuck, but I'm not good enough to be seen with you in public? Is that it?"

  He stood silently staring at me for a long time before he finally said, "No. That's not it."

  "More evasive answers that say nothing! That's what I get after everything we've done together?" I screamed as tears began streaming down over my cheeks.

  My outburst made him cringe, and I saw in his eyes my words had affected him. In a low, almost sad voice, he said, "I told you, Nina. I can give you everything your heart desires, but I can only do it this way."

  I watched him walk away and knew I had no answer for that. I'd thought that we were getting closer and he'd begun to open up, but all that was just my imagination. We were the same as we'd been since that first night he showed up in my life.

  Tristan Stone and Nina Edwards. Two souls worlds apart, no matter if we lived in the same house or not.

  Chapter Eleven

  I marched up the stairs to the attic, needing to speak to someone from the life I'd left behind. The black phone sat on a wooden box hidden away in the corner, right where I'd left it, just waiting for me to reach out and touch someone. I slowly dialed Jordan's number and put the receiver up to my ear. It rang four times and then I heard her say, "Hey, this is Jordan. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you A.S.A.P."

  My disappointment kept me silent for a few seconds and then I mumbled, "Hey, it's me. Nina. I'd say call me back, but I don't know the number and I don't even know if I should be using this phone. I'm still out at Tristan's house and just wanted to talk to someone. I hope everything's okay."

  I put the phone down and slumped on the floor, pressing my back up against the wood slat wall. Sadness settled into me as I replayed the conversation Tristan and I had, and I wanted to cry but there weren't any tears. All I felt was a heaviness in my chest, like someone was pressing down on me trying to crush me.

  What was I to him? That was what was crushing me. He treated me like a girlfriend, yet I was never to be seen. But I was his employee too, a fact that he seemed to impress upon me always at times when it hurt the most. I existed in some limbo between being someone he was willing to show off to the world and someone who was merely there to do his bidding.

  As I sat there with the hard wall pushing against my back and my hurt feelings pressing down on my heart, a sense of regret slowly spread over me. I'd been such a fool! No matter what Jordan believed, good things didn't always happen to good people. That was even assuming I was good. I'd accepted Tristan's offer hoping for more than a job, but that's all the contract had promised. What did that make me? He'd never promised anything in that contract other than all that he'd already given me. I was being paid to do a job. The hope of something more was never part of the deal.

  But hadn't he promised in every kiss and every time he'd made love to me that something more was what he wanted too?

  Never before had a man tangled my emotions in such knots. When he touched me with those hands so strong yet so tender, he made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world to him. When he was inside me, moaning my name as he clung to me and his body shook from the feelings I created in him, his every word and movement said he cared.

  Fuck! How had I let this happen to me? I wasn't some pathetic little schoolgirl who had no idea how things worked. I knew how men were and what they wanted. I may not be supermodel gorgeous, but I'd been with other men and knew the ways of the world. How had I fallen so quickly for Tristan and not seen what was really happening?

  The problem was I didn't know what was really happening. To me, not showing me off as his girlfriend was a huge sign he didn't care, but in every other part of our relationship it was clear he felt something for me. What that was I didn't know, but I wasn't sure what I felt either, so I couldn't fault him for that. We'd moved fast since the beginning, so being unsure was fine.

  Being ashamed of being seen with me at his parties and events wasn't fine.

  The phone ringing jolted me out of my thoughts, and I scrambled to answer it before anyone heard the noise downstairs. Pressing the heavy receiver to my ear, I whispered, "Hello?" and held my breath as the line stayed silent.

  "Hello? Is anyone there?"

  "Nina? Are you okay? It's Jordan."

  I sighed my relief and my heart began its normal beating again. "Jordan, how did you get this number?"

  "It came up on my phone. Are you okay? You sounded like something was wrong on the message. What's going on out there?"

  "I don't know. I think I made a mistake."

  "Why? Did something happen?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

  "For the second time since I've been here, he's gone off to some event he needed to wear a tux to and didn't invite me to go. I don't know what I'm doing here or why he's ashamed to be seen with me."

  "Oh, sweetie. I'm sure he's not ashamed of you. Look at you. You're beautiful and smart and he's crazy about you."

  Sniffling back the first of my tears, I sobbed, "He's not crazy about me. I'll bet anything he's at whatever affair he had to go to with one of those women he takes to things like that. Tomorrow he'll be in the paper standing next to some gorgeous, rail thin supermodel."

  "Honey, don't cry. I'm sure there
's a reasonable explanation why he doesn't take you to these things. Maybe they're boring and he doesn't want you to think he's boring."

  "Jordan, I saw the picture in the paper. Did those people look like they thought that party was boring?"

  She was silent for a few moments and then said, "He didn't look like he was having a good time. I remember you saying he didn't look like that with you. Oh, Nina, don't cry. It's going to be okay."

  "How? How is it going to be okay? I'm contractually obligated to be around him for the next six months and even though we're sleeping together and he treats me like his girlfriend in private, he never takes me to places where other people like him will be. How is it okay that I'm basically some concubine?"

  Jordan said nothing as I sobbed into the phone. What could she say? I was crying over something I couldn't have and she couldn't give it to me or help me get it.

  "I feel so stupid, Jordan. I know it's only been a short time, but I can't help the way I feel. Why is this happening to me?"

  Quietly, she said what I already knew. "Because you're trusting and good, Nina, and you think other people are the same. It's that small town upbringing in you."

  "So I'm destined to be a fool for the rest of my life."

  "Honey, I don't think you're foolish for caring for someone. And I'm not sure he doesn't care for you either. I don't know why he doesn't take you around those upper crusts he hangs out with, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Not every guy makes a point to find a girl's best friend and ask her about your favorite foods. I bet he picked one of those and had that for you that first night, didn't he?"