Good Girl Gone Plaid: The McLaughlins, Book 1

by Shelli Stevens

  “But you are her Da,” his father protested, his voice rising. “It’s not right that you weren’t told.”

  There were murmurs of agreement around the table.

  “Are you going to answer the question?” Aleck prodded. “Do you want to be part of her life?”

  Ian tightened his grip around his glass and stared at his whisky.

  Maybe he’d never been the father type, or imagined himself with kids, but now that he knew there was a child out there with his blood…well, it completely changed everything.

  Emily was a physical presence in his life now. She was warm and vibrant, a bit random and shockingly blunt. He could see reflections of himself in her. She was a part of him.

  Just thinking about missing the first ten years of her life wrapped a fist around his heart and squeezed.

  He didn’t want to send her away and pretend he’d never found out. He couldn’t. There was no way in hell he would ever make that choice. What he wanted was the chance to know her better.

  “Aye.” He finally gave a small nod. “I want to be a part of her life.”

  Pride flickered in their father’s eyes. “Then you make it clear to Sarah that you want to be involved.”

  There was another chorus of ayes around the table, and words of support.

  “I know what she did wasn’t right, son.” Their mother sighed. “But you’ll need to keep a calm head upon you from this point out. I can’t imagine you reacted very well.”

  “No. Not at all.”

  “Well, I sure as fook don’t blame him,” Aleck muttered.

  “Nor I.” Colin nodded. “Well, for the most part. You didn’t hit her or anything of the sorts, did you? Because you know I’ll have to arrest your arse.”

  “Christ, no. What kind of man do you take me for, you bastard?”

  Colin grinned. “One who doesn’t always hold his temper. Though the few times you’ve lost it, I can’t say that I blamed you.”

  They both glanced at Kenzie, but she dropped her gaze, seeming to want no part of this turn in conversation.

  “Is there anything between you and Sarah, or the possibility of anything?” Their dad asked, a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. “I hear she’s divorced.”

  “Aye, she is.” Ian hesitated, not sure he wanted to dump the details of what sort of relationship he and Sarah had had since she’d returned to the island.

  Especially seeing that it was primarily sexual.

  Yet now there was Emily.

  “I don’t right know, to tell you the truth. There will always be something between us, but is it enough?”

  “I think it is. Add in a child you both have, then yes,” their mother chimed in.

  “Whatever road you choose, Ian, you know we’ll always support you.”

  Ian met Aleck’s steady gaze, and then nodded at the firm words.

  “Thank you. All of you. A man could truly not ask for a better family.”

  “Agreed. Well, I suppose this family meeting is wrapped up then?” Their father asked, glancing at his wife.

  “Aye. Call it a night, already,” Ian agreed. “You’re likely half asleep, Da.”

  “After drinking this tea? I’m on a caffeine high and doubt I’ll sleep anytime soon.” He kissed his wife’s cheek and laughed. “But I’m sure your mother and I can figure out a way to entertain ourselves.”

  “Thank you for that thought, Da,” Kenzie hollered. “Now let me just find a bucket to throw up in.”

  “I want pictures of my grandchild,” their mother pleaded. “And if you could find out her size in clothing, what her favorite color is, what her favorite toys are—”

  “Oh jeez, she’s bent on spoiling the grandchild she’s only known about for a few hours!” Colin guffawed.

  Kenzie rolled her eyes. “Aye, well she’ll have to get in line.”

  Ian laughed and shook his head. “Love you all.”

  Everyone chimed in with fond responses, and a moment later Aleck ended the session.

  “Well? How are you feeling about where you go from here?”

  Ian considered everything they’d discussed and weighed his emotions and status of his heart.

  “I feel pretty decent,” he murmured, almost surprised to realize he did. “Optimistic even. Thank you all again.”

  “No need for thanks, we’re family.” Aleck pushed back his chair and stood. “I hereby call this McLaughlin family meeting adjourned.”

  Kenzie rose and rolled her eyes. “Gee, we’ve either landed in a courthouse or the eighteen-hundreds. Could you be any more formal, big brother?”

  “Aye, I could.” He kissed the top of her head. “Now let’s get this pub open and making some money.”

  “Well I hereby request a shot of whisky before we do that.” Kenzie sighed and moved to give Ian a hug. “It’s been a long day.”

  Ian hugged his sister back tightly. Amusement, fondness and a deep appreciation for his family ran through him. He knew he’d been unusually quiet tonight, but his mind was elsewhere.

  Kenzie pulled away and gave him a gentle smile. “Go sleep on this tonight, and see her tomorrow.”

  “That’s my plan. Thank you, Kenzie, for all you did today.”

  “Anytime.” She gaze a small smile. “I owe you anyway.”

  “You don’t owe me a thing.” He squeezed her hand, then turned and left the pub.

  Sarah cracked open a can of diet soda and handed it to her mom before settling down on the couch with her own soda.

  Her mother sat at one end, her legs curled under her bottom, her gaze cast downward. She’d been like that most of the night—avoiding eye contact.

  But now that it was pushing ten and Emily was asleep in the other room, Sarah wasn’t about to avoid the topic any longer.

  “What were you thinking, Mom? Coming out here?” She shook her head and tightened her fingers around the soda can. “Did you really think he wouldn’t find out?”

  “A child should be with her mother,” Ana said firmly. “We were making plans to come out even before you called and asked for the money. Emily wasn’t happy in Virginia.”

  “Yes, well sometimes she’s not happy being forced to bathe either. You know how children work, you have two of them.” She laughed softly, but it was without humor. “And then you left Ian alone with Emily today. You had to know what would happen then. That girl is a chatterbox. She probably gave him enough clues to put it together within five minutes.”

  “Yes, that was about how long it took,” Mom agreed. “I was only in the house for maybe seven minutes total. And when I came out and saw the shock on his face, well, I knew he’d figured it out. And of course then I realized how badly I’d screwed up.”

  “You did. You really, really did. I made the deliberate choice to leave her with you in Virginia to avoid this happening. This is pretty much my worst nightmare.”

  Ana was silent for a moment, seeming lost in thought. “Is he really so bad? Ian?”

  How could she even answer that? Her mother had seen the same printout Sarah had that day when her father had shown them.

  “He has a felony on record, remember?”

  “I remember. Assault, wasn’t it?”

  “Second degree.”

  “Hmm. That’s bad?”

  “Well, I’m hardly a legal expert, but from what I understand only first degree is worse.”

  “Hmm.” Ana sighed and stretched her legs out on the couch. “I always liked Ian. No matter that your father didn’t.”

  Sometimes her mom was a hopeless romantic. “He broke my heart, Mom. I found him in bed with another girl. You have no idea how badly—”

  “It hurts? I do. Your father wasn’t perfect. No man is.”

  A beat went by as Sarah tried to process what her mom was saying. Had her father had an affair? The idea made her stomach roil.

  “He was a sailor. He was gone a lot,” her mom continued. “And one time the temptation was too much for him.” Their gazes locked. “But I lov
ed him enough to stay. To make it work. Because he loved us, and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect us.”

  Sarah shook her head. “Dad had an affair? When was this?”

  “When you were around seven, and your sister had only just been born.”

  “I never knew.”

  Ana smiled faintly. “He never wanted you to. Once I forgave him, we agreed to never talk about it. We would never pass that stress or grief on to you girls. It was our burden.”

  “Well, you both carried it well. I didn’t have a clue.”

  It was almost too hard to believe that her dad had been unfaithful. And yet, at the same time, it wasn’t. Sarah had known he wasn’t perfect. She’d hated the way he’d treated Ian and could be so hard-headed and stubborn when he deemed himself right. But he’d been her dad. Protective and loving and she hated thinking bad of him. And in the end, he’d been right about Ian, hadn’t he?

  “I didn’t tell you this to taint your father’s memory, Sarah. I only thought it might help you understand that sometimes love is worth fighting for.”

  “You sure didn’t seem to feel this way at the time when Ian and I split up.”

  “No, you’re right I didn’t,” Ana agreed. “At the time you were so young. Not even eighteen. I thought it was puppy love that would quickly fade. Harmless.”

  Never had Sarah ever once written off what had been between her and Ian as puppy love. They’d been young, yes. Probably even naïve. But their love had been all too real.

  “When you talk about each other, I see it.” Her mom’s expression turned pensive. “When he would mention you, or you him, it’s there. That sparkle of someone who’s in love.”

  That sparkle isn’t love, Mom. Just the remains of two people who’ve recently gotten their rocks off with each other. Sarah bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t say the words aloud. Even if they were on the tip of her tongue.

  Instead, she murmured, “I don’t think it’s love, Mom. Besides, that boat has sailed.”

  “Then you swim out to it.”

  Her heart skipped a beat at the intensity of her mother’s statement. The connotation behind it.

  Swim out to it.

  There was so much bitter history between them, creating a strong riptide that would make it pretty damn hard to reach that boat. Even if she wanted to.

  And right now, she didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

  “I know love. And I think you two have a chance.”

  Before Sarah could reply, there was the soft padding of footsteps.

  “Mom?” Emily appeared in the living room, eyes bleary from sleep. “Can I sleep with you tonight? I had a nightmare.”

  Her heart melted a little and she gave a small nod. Even though her daughter touted her tweenhood, sometimes she couldn’t fight the fact she was a momma’s girl.

  “Come on.” She stood and followed Emily into the bedroom. She’d missed Emily more than she thought during the week apart.

  She couldn’t let Ian take Emily. Not that she thought he really would, but the idea of it. The what if. It would destroy her.

  Sarah stared at the outside of McLaughlin’s Auto and Classic Car Restoration and hesitated. She tightened her fingers around the plate of chocolate chip cookies and drew in a slow breath.

  Get some courage, girl. You need to do this.

  Lifting her head, she strode forward and into the office section of the shop. A small bell rang as she entered, and the young woman behind the counter glanced up.

  “Good morning. What can I help you with?”

  “Actually, I was hoping to see Ian?”

  The young woman stood. “I’ll check and see if he’s available. Who can I tell him is here?”

  “Sarah. He’ll know who I am.” Whether he’d see her or not was another story.

  “Aye. I know her.”

  Both women glanced over at Ian as he came out of the office and shut the door.

  Sarah drew a sharp breath in as her pulse quickened.

  “You didn’t need to come in.” His tone was flat, a clear contradiction to the glittering anger in his eyes. “I told you I’d contact you when I was ready.”

  The receptionist made a squeak of surprise and excused herself, disappearing into the garage area where several men were working.

  A blush of embarrassment stole up her neck, but Sarah kept her chin high. “I know. I just brought you cookies.”

  That sounded pretty lame.

  “You brought me cookies?”

  “Well…for you to share with your shop.” This was a bad idea, why had she thought it would be a good attempt at chipping away at his icy anger. “They’re chocolate chip. Emily and I baked this morning, and you did say I could bake something as payment for the car…” She trailed off lamely and bit back a sigh. “Though I fully intend to pay you still.”

  “I see.” He didn’t even crack a smile as he took the plate from her. “I’m sure my guys will love them.”

  But not him. Why was every word like a blow to her heart? A lump gathered in her throat and she tried to give a small smile, but it didn’t quit stay put.

  “Look, you shouldn’t have come.” His words were terse. “I’m working and I’m just not…ready to deal with you yet.”

  Deal with her.

  She might have flinched, but his bluntness actually helped her realize what was going on in his head. “Understood.”

  “I’ve got things to do.” His gaze swept over her, almost reluctantly, before his expression grew hard. “Thanks for the cookies. I’ll be sure to return the plate.”

  “All right.”

  He turned away and strode back into his office. The door slammed shut a moment later.

  Sarah made quick haste getting the hell out of his shop and away from the stares that followed her.

  So maybe the cookies weren’t a good idea—unless she’d been hoping to get hurt and humiliated.

  Which, no, that absolutely hadn’t been her goal. But again her naïveté was showing.

  Increasing her pace and blinking back the tears that burned, she made her way back home.

  “Thank you for dinner. This lasagna is delicious, but it’s going to go straight to my hips.”

  Sarah laughed and gave her mom a sideways glance. “You could use some padding on your hips. You’re too skinny. And I swear if Emily hears you talk like that you’ll give her a complex.”

  “Oh I will not—that kid is tiny.” Ana pushed her plate away and made a sound of disbelief. “And she’s in the bedroom watching the Disney channel again anyway.”

  “Yes, well, she’s at that age and the girls’ in her gymnastics class are always talking about dieting.”

  “Ridiculous.”

  “I agree.” Sarah took another bite of her dinner, but she still had no appetite. Her stomach had been in knots since leaving Ian’s garage earlier this afternoon.

  They’d had a late dinner after driving around the island and exploring various places with Emily. They’d watched the sunset from the porch of the house, before everyone came inside to eat.

  A satisfying day, she reflected. For the most part. Her heart grew heavy as she replayed the brief encounter with Ian.

  “So he wasn’t receptive to the cookies?”

  Her mom always had a knack for knowing where her mind had gone.

  “I’m sure he was fine with the cookies. Seeing me however…”

  “Give him time.”

  Oh how she wished time were the answer. But forgiveness wasn’t always the easiest pill to swallow. She knew firsthand how strong a hold pain and anger could have on you.

  A soft knock came at the door, sending tension racing through her.

  Ana murmured lightly, “Speaking of. One guess who that’ll be.”

  “I don’t need the guess.” Even without the porch light illuminating his recognizable stature, Sarah knew Ian was the person knocking on her door.

  “Go take a walk with him. Or a drive. I’ll watch Emily
while you two talk.” Ana gave a small shudder of excitement. “I’ll just watch an episode of Castle on my laptop—my friend Joyce got me hooked on it. That Nathan Fillion is such a hunk.”

  That last comment caused a reluctant smile as Sarah opened the door. Seeing Ian leaning against the doorjamb, staring down at her with that familiar scowl on his face, had her smile fading.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Hi.”

  He answered with a small nod. “Can I come in?”

  “Do you mind if we walk? It’ll give us more privacy, and it’s warm enough out.” She stepped outside on the porch and closed the door behind him. “Unless you’d rather drive somewhere?”

  “No. Walking is fine.” He fell into step next to her as they walked out of the driveway. “I’ve felt a bit restless today anyway.”

  “Understandable.”

  Restless was probably the most passive emotion he’d felt, she guessed. There’d been a good amount of rage last night that had lingered into this afternoon.

  Where had he gone yesterday after he’d left here? He must’ve taken time alone to think. Or maybe he’d met up with one of his siblings. Maybe Colin, since they were pretty close.

  She snuck a sideways glance at him in the growing darkness. It was surprising how relaxed he was now. Such a one-eighty from this afternoon. The raw edge of fury and shock had evaporated. If anything, he just seemed tired.

  Sarah swallowed the guilt and thrust her hands into her jeans pockets.

  “Thanks for the cookies, they were good. If you could pass that on to Emily…”

  “I will.” So awkward. “I’m glad you liked them.”

  More silence. Heavy and uncomfortable. He broke it first.

  “You didn’t run. I mean, obviously.”

  “I told you I wouldn’t.” Though when he’d left last night, the side of her that was in full-blown panic mode had considered it. Until logic had stepped in. “Cat’s out of the bag now anyway, right?”

  “Right. Or kid.”

  Was that an attempt at humor? The slight quirking of his lips made her think maybe it was.