Now You See Her

by Heidi Perks

  My hand shook as I reached out to touch the sheet, frightened I’d find no evidence beneath it that she’d been here. One tug ripped the covers back. ‘Oh God.’ I held a hand over my mouth as the other touched the corner of the fabric that peeked out from under the pillow. Slowly I pulled the pillow away to find a neatly folded nightie, dotted with pretty pink owls and a frilled hem. I pressed it against my face, breathing it in. There may have been the faintest scent of Alice, but I couldn’t be sure I wasn’t imagining it.

  Exhilarated by that small find, I went over to the chest and pulled out its drawers one by one. Balled socks, a new pack of girls’ pants, a couple of T-shirts. Then, in the last one, Alice’s red dress and placed next to it her little blue shoes with their pinpricked stars.

  I let out a cry as a wave of nausea rushed over me. Of course this was a good thing, I told myself. It meant she’d been here. My dad had at least brought her here as he’d promised. And he had bought her a pretty nightie and new clothes. I had to take comfort in these things, I thought, grabbing a handful of shells from the pile on the dresser. And now I was convinced I knew where to find them. My dad had taken Alice to the beach.

  Racing down the stairs, I went back through the kitchen and out the door, leaving it unlocked like I’d found it in case they didn’t have a key. I ran down the lane until it came to an abrupt stop at the top of the cliff. Only then did I pause and inhale deep lungfuls of air.

  Over the edge of the cliff was a sheer drop. Below me waves rolled in, their white foam washing up on the sand before being dragged out again. The tide was out, revealing a small slip of beach, and while it wasn’t windy it looked like there was a strong current.

  I stepped back before I lost my balance and started down the steep, grassy path that wound down the cliff to my left. Intermittent stone steps had been laid in places where the ground was rough and I needed to carefully find my footing. It was the type of walk Alice would love.

  At the bottom the path joined the main lane that ran through the village. Opposite was a small, deserted car park and to the right a slipway led on to the beach, which looked wider than it had from the top though I wondered how much of it would disappear once the tide came in.

  It was almost empty, as my father had said, apart from a little boy playing with a fishing net at the furthest edge of the cove, watched by a couple who were engrossed in animated conversation.

  I looked one way, then the other. Had I really expected them to be here? Seeing the box of shells in the cottage had made me certain I’d find Alice and my dad on the beach. Only they weren’t.

  My feet circled and circled as I refused to accept that they weren’t here. Everything started to spin and I fell to the sand in a heap of desperate tears. A sound escaped but I couldn’t be sure it had come from me.

  ‘Are you OK?’ A voice drifted towards me but I ignored it as I dug my hands deeper into the sand. Never had I felt so frightened or alone.

  ‘Excuse me?’ The wind carried the words over.

  Go away.

  Thoughts swarmed my head like locusts until they turned the sky black.

  ‘Do you think we should call a doctor?’ The voice was approaching. Nearer and nearer.

  I buried my head into my knees.

  Go away. Go away. Go away.

  ‘Do you need help?’ A hand touched my side, making me sit up. The light from the sun was harsh and I was forced to shield it away with my hands.

  ‘I’m fine.’ I pushed myself on to my knees, my legs trembling as I forced myself to stand. ‘Thank you,’ I said, brushing the sand from my jeans.

  ‘Can we get anything for you?’ the woman asked. A man was right behind her, the little boy with his fishing net trailing reluctantly behind.

  ‘No, I’m OK,’ I said. ‘Maybe I had too much to drink last night.’ I attempted a smile. The woman nodded but didn’t smile back and eventually she allowed the man to take her arm and called the boy to follow as they walked away.

  I waited until they had disappeared and then retraced my steps quickly back up the slipway, past the car park and up the cliff path. Tears raced down my cheeks until I was sobbing great gulps of air that made me double over in pain. When I reached the top I looked out to sea, mouthing my daughter’s name.

  What could I do? Alice was now genuinely missing but there was no one I could tell. The police would say, ‘We know she’s missing, Harriet, she disappeared nearly two weeks ago from Dorset.’

  ‘Alice!’ I cried quietly. ‘Baby, where are you?’ I ran back to the cottage on unsteady legs, letting myself in through the back door again. ‘Dad? Alice?’ I screamed into the cold, silent air as I collapsed on to a wooden chair in the kitchen. ‘Where have you gone?’

  Charlotte

  On Friday at lunchtime Charlotte placed the phone face down on the kitchen table having ended the call from school. Molly was sick and asking to come home. She had professed to have tummy ache before school that morning but Molly occasionally did that if there was a chance of not going in. Usually it turned out to be nothing.

  She told the receptionist she’d get there shortly but it scuppered her plans. Evie was in nursery and Charlotte was supposed to be meeting DCI Hayes at the police station in fifteen minutes. He had called her earlier asking her to come in ‘for a chat’, admitting that neither Harriet nor Brian had returned home all night.

  ‘I don’t know any more than I told Angela,’ she said. ‘But of course I’ll come in if you think I can help.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t,’ the detective said.

  Charlotte hung up. His sarcasm grated and it made her wonder if he thought she was lying and she knew where Harriet and Brian were. Now she was going to have to call him en route to the school and explain that not only would she be late, Molly would be with her too. She could picture his exasperated face when she gave him the news.

  Charlotte grabbed the car keys and picked up her handbag. Rifling through it to check she had her purse, she was just about to leave the house when her mobile rang from the bottom of her bag, flashing with a number she didn’t recognise.

  ‘Hello?’ Charlotte cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she fiddled to close the zip on her bag. It was forever jamming and she knew if she tugged it much harder the whole thing would snap.

  ‘Charlotte?’

  She froze. ‘Harriet? Is that you?’

  ‘I need your help,’ her friend cried.

  ‘Thank God you’re OK. Where are you? Has something happened? Where’s Brian? Why didn’t you go home last night?’ Her questions tumbled out.

  ‘Charlotte, I need your help,’ Harriet whispered.

  Charlotte dropped her bag and pressed the phone closer to her ear. Wherever Harriet was, it was difficult to hear her. ‘Harriet, what’s happened? Is Brian with you?’

  ‘Brian?’ There was a short pause. ‘No, Brian’s not with me.’ Another pause and then, ‘I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘Oh God,’ Charlotte muttered and all she could envisage was that Harriet was planning something stupid. ‘OK, tell me where you are and I’ll come and meet you. Are you nearby? I can be there—’ Charlotte hesitated. She had already committed to be in two different places but Harriet had to come first. She would call the school and ask them to keep Molly a while longer. No, she would call Tom. He would have to leave work and collect her. ‘I can come over straight away, Harriet. Are you back at home or can you get there?’

  ‘No. I’m not there.’

  ‘So tell me where you are. I’ll come and meet you, wherever it is,’ Charlotte said.

  ‘I’m in Cornwall.’

  ‘Cornwall? What the hell are you doing in Cornwall?’

  ‘I never meant to hurt anyone.’

  Charlotte’s grip tightened around her phone. ‘What have you done?’ she asked slowly.

  ‘I had to do it and I don’t expect you to forgive me but she’s gone, Charlotte. I’m so scared. I don’t know where she’s gone.’ Har
riet let out another sob.

  ‘Slow down. Just try and tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘I had to get Alice away from him, Charlotte, I had to. But it’s gone wrong and I don’t know where she is.’

  ‘What are you saying?’ Charlotte’s fingers were beginning to feel numb, she was clenching the phone so hard. What exactly was Harriet trying to tell her?

  ‘I had to get Alice away.’

  ‘No.’ Charlotte stared towards her spiral staircase. ‘No,’ she said again, shaking her head. ‘Did you … did you have something to do with it?’ With her spare hand she reached out for the hallway table, which shuddered under the strength of her hold.

  ‘I had to,’ Harriet begged through her sobs. ‘I had to get away from him. But it was never meant to be like this.’

  ‘No. This doesn’t make sense. You’re lying to me, Harriet.’

  ‘I’m not lying and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but I don’t know where Alice is any more. I did, but she isn’t here and I can’t find her …’ Harriet’s voice trailed off.

  ‘But you made me believe she was abducted. You made me think a stranger had grabbed her.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Harriet cried, but Charlotte wasn’t listening.

  ‘You made me think it was all my fault, that I wasn’t looking after her, but all along you did this?’ she spat. ‘I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it.’

  ‘I know,’ Harriet said. ‘I know everything you’re saying is true and I’m so sorry but right now that’s not important.’

  ‘Not important?’ Charlotte let out a shallow laugh. ‘Are you kidding me? Of course it’s important. What actually happened to her? I was accused of not watching her, Harriet,’ she cried. ‘Jesus, how could you do that? What kind of mother would kidnap her own child?’

  ‘I had no choice,’ Harriet pleaded.

  ‘Of course you had a choice,’ she screamed. ‘No one abducts their own child.’

  Harriet was silent.

  ‘You must have known how guilty I’d feel,’ Charlotte went on. ‘Surely you’ve seen what everyone’s been saying about me; you can’t ignore it. How could you have done this?’

  ‘Charlotte, please, I will explain it all to you, but I really need you—’

  ‘Tell me what happened,’ Charlotte said, cutting her off. Her body was shaking with rage. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Harriet sobbed. ‘That’s just it; she’s supposed to be here but she isn’t.’

  Charlotte pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. She couldn’t believe what Harriet was telling her; it was unthinkable that her friend had done this.

  ‘He was supposed to answer my calls but he didn’t,’ Harriet continued. ‘And that was two days ago and now I’m here and there’s no sign of either of them.’

  ‘He? Who is he? The person who took her? I’m assuming you weren’t at the fete.’ She tried to force herself into a state of calm so she could piece together the story that had so many holes in it.

  Silence.

  ‘Who took her?’ she asked again, her voice rising.

  ‘My father.’

  ‘But he’s dead,’ Charlotte said, incredulous.

  ‘No,’ Harriet said quietly. ‘He was never dead.’

  ‘What?’ Charlotte choked the word out. ‘But you told me he died. Right at the beginning. In fact the first time we met you told me your dad was dead and I felt awful because I’d been going on about mine walking out on us.’

  ‘I always thought of him as dead because that’s what my mum used to tell everyone, but actually he left us. I hadn’t seen him in over thirty years but he turned up one day last November.’

  ‘This is crazy,’ Charlotte cried. ‘Why would you lie to me about something like that? Have you any idea how this sounds?’ Charlotte was trembling again and she had to sit down. Her balled fist gripped tightly in her lap. ‘This is—’ She broke off. ‘Has anything you’ve ever told me been the truth, Harriet? Do you even know what that word means?’ she shouted.

  ‘Please,’ Harriet begged. ‘I know how it all sounds, I do.’

  ‘And he’s taken Alice?’ Charlotte went on. ‘I can’t even get my head round this.’

  ‘I know it doesn’t make any sense.’

  ‘You don’t trust anyone with Alice,’ Charlotte said. ‘Why did you trust him? Why did you do this, Harriet?’

  ‘We weren’t safe,’ Harriet cried. ‘I had to get us away from Brian and he made it impossible for me to leave him.’

  ‘Brian? What do you mean, you weren’t safe?’

  ‘I was desperate, Charlotte. He tricked everyone. He would have taken Alice from me.’

  Charlotte recalled the first time Brian had turned up on her doorstep when he was worried about Harriet’s state of mind and Alice’s safety. She’d disregarded it completely. But what if Brian was right? Just because Harriet didn’t behave how Charlotte supposed someone would with postnatal depression, it didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of doing something stupid.

  ‘Then how come you never told me?’ she asked carefully.

  ‘I was too ashamed,’ Harriet said. ‘He was making out I was crazy and for a long time I thought he was right.’

  Yet you’ve just kidnapped your own daughter, Charlotte thought, remembering Brian telling her he was worried because Harriet had left Alice in the car and forgotten all about her.

  ‘You have to believe me.’

  Charlotte pressed the back of her head against the wall behind her. How could Harriet expect her to believe her?

  ‘I’m frightened,’ she said. ‘I’ve got no one else I can ask and I’m sorry but, please, you have to help me find Alice.’

  Harriet’s fear sounded genuine but Charlotte didn’t have any idea what she should do. She listened as Harriet told her about her dad not answering her calls and the empty cottage where Alice should be.

  ‘But they could be anywhere. How long have you waited?’ Charlotte couldn’t believe she was already trying to placate her friend, but the pain in Harriet’s voice was very real.

  ‘I know something’s not right,’ Harriet said. ‘I can feel it.’

  ‘You need to call the police, Harriet. There’s nothing I can do.’

  ‘I can’t,’ Harriet cried. ‘If I call them I have to admit this is all my doing. If I do—’ She paused. ‘I could go to prison. Brian would have custody of Alice and that can’t happen, Charlotte. You have to understand I cannot let him have my daughter.’

  ‘What are you asking me to do?’

  ‘Come here. Help me find her.’

  ‘Seriously—’ Charlotte gave a short laugh. She couldn’t get embroiled in Harriet’s plan any further. The very idea of driving to Cornwall to aid her friend in a fake abduction was ridiculous.

  ‘I’m in a place called West Aldell,’ Harriet was telling her and began reeling off the address of Elderberry Cottage. ‘I’ve been to the beach but I’ll wait at the cottage for you.’

  ‘No, Harriet. You need to tell someone who can help you and it’s not me.’

  ‘There is only you!’ Harriet sounded almost hysterical at the other end of the line. ‘Charlotte, I know you don’t know whether to believe me or not, but you have to know by now that I would do anything for Alice.’

  ‘Please don’t ask this of me,’ Charlotte said. There was silence and for a moment she thought Harriet had hung up. ‘Harriet? Are you listening to me?’

  ‘I can’t not ask,’ she whispered. ‘If I don’t, then it’s over.’

  Charlotte

  Charlotte pulled out of the drive and to the end of the culde-sac. Her shoulders ached with tension. She’d have thought the weight of her own responsibility would have shifted now that she knew it wasn’t her fault, but if anything it was worse.

  She couldn’t get her head round the degree to which her friend had betrayed her. Her life had been tugged apart; everything she thought she knew about herself had shattered. Her friends didn’t trust her; she didn’t tru
st herself any longer. Charlotte’s happy existence had been ripped at the seams and it was all Harriet’s doing.

  She had only ever been a good friend to Harriet, taking her under her wing when Harriet needed it most. And this is what she did in return?

  Everything deep inside Charlotte told her to call DCI Hayes. She needed to extract herself from the mess she’d already been unwittingly caught up in. As soon as they knew the truth Charlotte’s name would be cleared. And it was all Harriet deserved.

  Charlotte pulled up at red lights and waited for them to turn green, slamming her hand hard against the steering wheel. She was already fifteen minutes late picking up Molly but hopefully her daughter wasn’t as ill as the school had made out.

  She pressed the telephone button in her car, ready to redial Hayes’s number, playing out the conversation in her head. He’d suck in his breath loudly as he listened to her tell him it was Harriet who had abducted her own daughter. Then he would badger her with questions she didn’t have answers to while signalling for a force to raid the cottage in Cornwall. Charlotte shuddered. She could picture Harriet waiting for her at the window but instead of seeing her friend would watch as a police car drew up, officers marching to the door, ready to handcuff her and drag her to the station.

  There had been a case recently where a father had escaped to Spain with his son. He’d pleaded that the mother had abandoned her child and he was taking him back to his own country to live with his parents. Regardless, the dad was sent down for seven years. Her heart went out to him when she saw a picture of the mother. She didn’t seem remotely bothered by what her son had been through.

  Charlotte tapped on the steering wheel as she waited for a mother and daughter to cross. The telephone option on the dashboard flashed off when she hadn’t used it. Her chest tightened as she took deep breaths. She knew that as soon as she told DCI Hayes the truth Harriet’s life would be over.