The Man Who Has No Love (Soulless Book 3)

by Victoria Quinn

  I swatted him off. “Jesus…” I wiped his kiss away with the back of my forearm.

  The girls both laughed loudly. Cleo covered her face and snorted.

  Tucker returned to his seat and grinned at me. “I knew you loved me.”

  I took a deep drink of my beer, trying to get all the bacteria off my mouth. “I love you less now.”

  I was on my back in the center of the bed, Cleo’s naked body hugged my body, her leg tucked between my knees. Her hair was over my shoulder and my chest, like a deep brown curtain. Her palm moved gently across my hard stomach, her quiet breathing the most beautiful noise I’d ever heard.

  I was tired but unable to sleep. Normally, Cleo’s presence put me in a daze right away, but now her presence was the very reason I was awake. I was so happy, and I didn’t want to say goodbye to that feeling. When I woke up the next morning, my alarm would jolt us both awake, and then we would both hurry to start our days. I woke up early to hit the gym, and Cleo got up at that same time even though it was hours earlier than she normally woke, just so she could be the first person at the desk and no one would realize she came down the elevator instead of through the front door.

  We’d have a lot more time together if we didn’t have to lie.

  Our lives would be so different if everyone knew.

  I never tried to change her mind about it, because that would basically result in me asking her to give up her job, and that was something I refused to do. She would never ask me that. How could I ever expect her to do the same? Just for my own happiness?

  She propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at me, her curtain of hair falling over one shoulder. Her hand rubbed my chest as she looked into my gaze, her eyes never so beautiful as they were in my bedroom, when she looked at me like that.

  My arm tightened around the small of her back, her warm tits against my pec.

  She didn’t have anything to say. She just wanted to look at me—like she couldn’t sleep either.

  “My company is hosting a dinner next weekend. Come with me.”

  “What kind of dinner?” she asked quietly.

  “It’s a charity thing. We raise money for patients with chronic illnesses who need funds for their treatments, because their insurance won’t cover it or they just can’t afford it.”

  She did that thing with her eyes. It was the reaction she gave when I did something thoughtful or sweet. “And I’m guessing this was your idea?”

  “We do it every year.”

  “That’s a yes.” She rubbed my chest again. “And I’d love to come with you.”

  My hand glided up her back, feeling the perfect curvature of her spine. “I was hoping you’d come with me as my date.” I didn’t want to bring her as my assistant, like she was just there to serve me. This was my business, and I didn’t work with anyone who lived in the building.

  Now, she looked guilty. “But I’m sure there will be pictures…”

  That meant I couldn’t put my arm around her waist, introduce her to my colleagues as more than just my assistant. It was extremely disappointing.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s not forever…”

  My hand stopped moving against her skin. Instead of getting upset about it, I let it go. I would never get my way, so it was pointless to fight. Once she found me a new place, I’d leave, and then everything would feel right. “I know.”

  She leaned in and kissed me, a gentle embrace full of remorse. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Yeah?”

  She nodded.

  “How?”

  She moved her lips to my chest and started to kiss me, her lips blanketing my skin with her warmth and affection. She slowly moved down, over my stomach, and down farther. “Like this…”

  I texted Valerie. I’m going to be out of town this weekend, just so you know. I didn’t want her to drop off Derek without warning then ask me a million questions about why I wasn’t home.

  Why?

  Fucking obnoxious. Work.

  Meaning?

  She still asked me every little detail about my life—as if she had the right to know. It means I’ll be out of town for work. I couldn’t stop myself from being a smartass.

  I deserve to know where the father of my child will be. Will you be out of the country? In California?

  I didn’t want to lie, but I had no other choice. Maine. I couldn’t think of anything better. I needed to be close, a drive away, and I couldn’t think of any other feasible place. If I said I was in the Hamptons, that wouldn’t make any sense.

  She left it alone.

  After work on Friday, I drove us to the beach house, getting past the gate and closing it behind, giving us complete privacy.

  I carried our bags into the house while she opened the back door, letting the ocean air enter the house. The waves weren’t visible, but they were audible, crashing against the shore a hundred feet away.

  I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, holding just as I did our first time at the cabin together.

  She tilted her head back, looking up at me. “What do you want to do first?”

  I kissed her neck. “Well, it’s late…and dark, so I think there’s only one thing we can do.”

  There was a big fireplace in the living room, so we lay on the rug in front of it, wrapped in blankets to keep our naked bodies from getting cold. A bottle of wine was on the coffee table so we could easily refill our glasses.

  She sat up and stared at the fire, her naked back visible.

  My hand moved up her skin, feeling her softness, her warmth. “I really like being with you, Deacon.”

  I sat up so I could be beside her, look into her face as she spoke.

  “But I do miss Derek when he’s not here…”

  “Yeah.” My hand moved to the back of her neck and gently rubbed. “I know what you mean.”

  “How do you feel about him starting school?”

  I watched the reflection of the flames in her eyes. “Not sure. I’m happy he’s starting school…but I’m also sad he’s growing up. I want him to be a sweet little boy forever, but I’m excited for him to be a man. It’s been the greatest privilege of my life to watch him crawl, then walk, and then run…”

  She looked at me with sweetness in her eyes, like she understood exactly how I felt without having experienced any of that herself. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

  I turned back to the fire. “I know he’ll do great things, and I can’t wait to see them. But for that to happen, he has to get older. He has to move on, become more independent, need me less. The thing I’ll miss the most is the way he says my name when he sees me, with such excitement, like he just can’t contain his joy. But when he’s a man, he’ll sound nothing like that.” I watched the flames dance and move. “That’s something I’m not looking forward to.”

  Her hand went to my back, and she rubbed me gently. “I’m sorry, Deacon.”

  “And you know you did your job right when they don’t need you anymore. But that accomplishment feels empty…because you have to let them go.”

  “But he’ll have kids of his own someday, and you’ll hear that same sweet voice again. Except it’ll be ‘Grandpa’ instead of ‘Dad.’”

  “Yeah…maybe.”

  She moved into me and kissed me on the cheek. “I told you your intelligence is sexy, your looks are sexy, and your pure soul is the sexiest thing of all. But I think seeing the way you love your son is my biggest turn-on.”

  “Yeah?”

  She nodded.

  “Even though he’s not yours.”

  She shook her head. “Doesn’t make a difference at all. I never thought the single dad thing would be so damn hot.” She scooted closer to me, her lips brushing against my shoulder. “I guess it makes me want to be a mom…and have you as the father to my babies.” She dropped her gaze for a while, like she was afraid to look at me after the confession she’d just made.

  It was unnerving, but it didn’t scare me so
much anymore. If we got married and started a family, that meant we could do this every day. We could be happy like this—all the time. What was scary about that?

  She finally lifted her chin and met my gaze, unsure.

  I didn’t have the words to respond, so I leaned in and kissed her.

  She kissed me back, hungry for my kiss.

  I pulled away slightly, looking into her blue eyes. “You’d be a great mom.”

  Her blue eyes looked so gentle, so touched. Her thumb brushed across my bottom lip as she stared at it, like I’d just said something that really turned her on. Her hand cupped the back of my neck, and she pulled me in for a harder kiss, a hungrier kiss.

  We lay on the loungers next to the pool, sitting directly in the sun. We’d both applied sunscreen all over, but our skin was slowly tanning. My skin naturally darkened quicker than the average person, so I was already getting some color.

  Cleo looked sexy as hell in her pastel blue bikini, her skin shiny from the lotion, her floppy hat covering her face. She had a book on the table beside her, and the ice had melted in her drink.

  A nice breeze blew, so neither one of us got too hot.

  She turned over, lying on her stomach so her back could get some sun.

  My eyes immediately moved to her perky ass.

  Cleo’s eyes were on me, so she watched the whole thing. “You’re definitely an ass man.”

  My hand went to her cheek and gave it a squeeze. “I’m a Cleo ass man.”

  She smiled. “I guess running around in those heels all the time really creates a nice caboose.”

  “Or you’re just genetically gifted.”

  “Like you are?” she teased. “You have a big brain. I have a big butt.”

  “It’s not big. It’s perky. Big difference.” I gave her a gentle spank.

  “So, what do you think of my tits?”

  I was surprised by her blunt question. “They’re nice too.”

  “They’re a bit small, but—”

  “They’re perfect. I love everything about you.” My feelings for her weren’t superficial anyway, so it didn’t matter. My soul connected with hers, and that was the high I was addicted to. Being extremely attracted to her was just icing on the cake.

  She smiled. “You do?”

  “Yes.”

  “Because it didn’t seem like you were that attracted to me before…”

  I turned my head and looked at the ocean through my sunglasses. “I was. Just didn’t allow myself to see you like that.”

  “Because I worked for you?”

  “I guess. But when I kissed you…fuck. It was all there.”

  Her smile widened.

  “I wanted to be with you because of how happy you made me. If the sex was bad or the chemistry wasn’t right, I would’ve stayed anyway. Our relationship is more than physical. That’s the reason I’m here in the first place…” If it weren’t, I could just have any woman, and it wouldn’t matter what she was like. But my feelings for Cleo were deep and powerful. I was loyal to her, not because of my word, but because of my soul.

  Her hand reached for mine and held it.

  I turned back to her.

  “My feelings are more than skin-deep too. But I’m not going to lie, every time I saw you shirtless, I wanted to jump your bones.”

  I grinned. “Good to know. I like your ass. What do you like about me?”

  “Your shoulders,” she blurted. “So broad.”

  I watched her, our oily hands slick together.

  “And your chest…your abs…your height.”

  “I thought you would just pick one—”

  “And your dick. You have a really nice dick.”

  I went quiet, amused by the way she’d just objectified me. “That sounds like everything.”

  “Ooh yeaaaah.” She chuckled. “Everything.”

  After we had dinner, we went into the bedroom. The patio door was left cracked so we could hear the ocean as we slept.

  My back was a little sore from lying on the floor all night, so I was happy to be in a real bed. Making love in front of the fire was pretty hot, but the hardwood floor didn’t agree with my knees.

  After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I got into bed, my hand cupping the back of my head.

  She came out a moment later, her makeup still on because she hadn’t washed it off like she usually did before bed. Whether she wore makeup or not, it didn’t change my desire to be with her. She was beautiful either way.

  Instead of getting in on her side of the bed, she crawled on top of me, kissing me as her hair dragged across my chest.

  I could fuck her all the time and never get tired of it, but I wasn’t the one getting a big dick shoved into a small space. I usually left her alone after three times in a day, wanting to prevent soreness so she would still want me the following day. But most of the time, she didn’t seem to care.

  Right now, she clearly didn’t give a damn.

  Her lips moved down my body until they sealed around my dick. She sucked me off, tasting her own arousal because it was still on my dick since I hadn’t showered. Then she turned around, her inner thighs against mine, and she gave me an incredible view of her ass. She reached behind and grabbed my length before she directed him inside. Then she arched her back and pushed herself to take him, to get all of him inside her already stuffed entrance. She sank down, taking all of me.

  Frozen in place, I stared at the sexiest sight I’d ever seen, seeing her nectarine ass stare right at me.

  Then she rolled her hips and arched her back over and over, taking my dick effortlessly, handling the difficult position like it wasn’t the least bit challenging.

  My hands sprawled across her cheeks, and I kneaded them with my fingertips, watching her work to push herself down then up again, coating my dick with her cream, getting hot and sweaty because it was so much wood.

  “Jesus fucking Christ…” I just lay there, watched her fuck me, her tight ass so damn perfect.

  She topped it off by looking over her shoulder at me. “You like that?”

  I released a groan at her confidence, my palm striking her ass hard. “Fuck…yes.”

  “So, the grand ballroom is almost never used. Maybe on a Friday or Saturday night. So Pria and I sneak off there and fuck all over the place.” Tucker sat across from me at the table, his second beer in front of him. “She usually wears a dress at work, so it’s perfect. She lifts up her dress, sticks out her ass while she holds the wall, and I just go to town. It’s the best shit ever.”

  I didn’t want to think about my brother fucking anyone, so I didn’t try to picture it. “Aren’t you concerned about getting caught?”

  “That’s why it’s so hot.”

  “And you think it’s smart to date someone you work with?”

  “Why don’t you tell me? You think it’s smart to date your assistant?”

  “She’s not my assistant, and we aren’t dating.”

  “Then what are you?” he asked.

  “We’re…” I didn’t know how to describe it. “Serious.”

  “Well, Pria is a bit rambunctious, and I like that. I’m new to the city, so I don’t have great ways to meet women except at the bar, and that’s usually just a hookup. But Pria is cool. I want to see where it goes.”

  “What will you do if it goes somewhere?”

  “The hotel doesn’t have a policy against it. We just have to fill out a form.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “And it’s the best to fuck at work. We take our fifteen-minute breaks at the same time and really enjoy it.”

  I liked our weekend getaways when Cleo and I didn’t have to worry about anyone walking in and seeing us together. We could be as loud as we wanted, do it at any time, didn’t have to squeeze in a romp in fifteen minutes. And when she fucked me with her ass in my face…I needed more than fifteen minutes.

  “Pria is such a good lay. She’s adventurous, sexy, she even told me she likes it in the ass.”
He took another drink of his beer.

  I didn’t know what to say to that.

  He didn’t ask anything about Cleo, knowing I wouldn’t share.

  But she’d told me I could. “At the beach house, Cleo did reverse cowgirl…”

  Tucker looked shocked, but it wasn’t clear what he was shocked about—if it was what Cleo did, or the fact that I told him. His eyebrows were high on his face, and his beer was ignored. “Whoa, whoa…” He pressed his fingers in the center of his other palm. “Time-out.”

  I drank from my beer.

  “One, how’d she do?”

  “Unbelievable.”

  “That shit is hard to master. She’s gotta know what she’s doing.”

  Oh…she definitely knew what she was doing.

  “And two, did you really just tell me that?”

  I shrugged. “Cleo told me I could share…”

  “Wow.” He grinned. “Man, she’s perfect. When a woman doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of her, that’s sexy as hell.”

  I wouldn’t tell him really specific details, but that seemed pretty harmless.

  “You’re a lucky bastard.” He clinked his glass against mine.

  “I know.” And it wasn’t just because she was awesome in bed…but it helped.

  “That’s the best position, but when you ask a girl to do it, you’ve got to know her kinda well, and even if she says yes, it doesn’t mean she’ll be good at it. It’s challenging.”

  I wanted her to fuck me like that all the time. All I had to do was lie there and watch her work herself to exhaustion, her skin shiny with sweat, the muscles of her back tight, her ass so delicious I wanted to take a bite out of it.

  “Pria and I are gonna have sooo much fun this weekend.”

  I’d have to make sure that place was properly disinfected.

  “I’ll ask Pria to try it. I think she could pull it off. But her ass isn’t nearly as nice—”

  I warned him with my stare.

  “Sorry…boundaries.”

  I’d just torn off my gloves and washed my hands when Dr. Hawthorne came inside in her white lab coat. “How’d it go?”