Lover Boy

by Cassie-Ann L. Miller

  “My point exactly.” She slides off of her chair and sashays her tall, curvy frame right out the back door with my underwear hanging off of her fork. “No more of this, Reese,” she says sternly. I watch in horror as she tosses my panties onto the recycling heap sitting on the back porch.

  “What the hell?!” I whine as she drops back into her chair like what she just did is no big deal.

  She pushes the laptop aside and grabs her phone, tapping at the screen. “Oh, relax. I’ve got your back.”

  I open my mouth to protest just as Sophia floats in through the front door, all perfect and manicured and engaged, her 20-pound diamond ring shining like a flashlight in the dead of night.

  “Hello.” She looks at us and sighs happily, her perma-smile nearly splitting her face in two.

  Y’see—that’s what love looks like. That’s how a woman walks around when she’s got the man of her dreams waiting in her bed with a come-hither look that’s designed only for her. I’ll have that one day, right?

  My nostrils twitch with restrained jealousy but I smile anyway. “Hey Soph.”

  “Happy Cupcake Sunday!” she chirps.

  Cupcake Sunday is our weekly tradition. I take the day to experiment with new recipes and perfect my craft. Nova brings leftovers from her Sunday morning shift at Gallo’s and Sophia brings wine from her fiancé’s family winery. We laugh, we gossip, and most importantly, we eat.

  “I’m exhausted,” she moans as she sets a bottle of cabernet down in the middle of the table.

  Nova glances up to inspect the wine label. A satisfied grin spreads across her face. “Good stuff, Soph!”

  Sophia acknowledges her with a wrist flick that says ‘Think nothing of it. I have two hundred dollar bottles of wine daily.’ She smooths her hand over her hair. “I spent the whole morning trying to decide on a social media company to live-tweet the wedding. So stressful.” She maintains a straight face as she lands in a chair with a graceful flourish.

  Sophia was studying early childhood education while working part-time at her family’s restaurant but when she got engaged, she dropped everything to devote herself to the wedding arrangements and the home remodelling and her fiancé’s needs, in general. Now, every sentence that comes out of her mouth involves Joshua somehow.

  I can’t say I blame the girl for being excited. The Davies are practically royalty around these parts. The winery is just one of the many businesses they have a hand in. Not that that’s why she’s marrying Josh, of course. The girl’s been head over heels for that self-important, color-coordinated, Lacoste-wearing jerk for as long as I can remember.

  Nova and I share a look and I telepathically warn her to shut her mouth. Being Nova, she ignores me. “You young socialites work so hard planning your quarter-million-dollar weddings. You ladies really should form a union or at least circulate a petition.”

  Sophia catches on to the sarcasm immediately and throws Nova a hard look. With an eyeroll, she changes the subject. “What are you guys up to anyway?”

  Nova’s attention falls back to her phone. “I’m in the middle of buying some new underwear for Reese.”

  With excited movements, Sophia pulls up the chair next to Nova. “Oh, good! She could use some for sure! Lemme help!” I cringe. Are my undies that bad?

  Sophia Gallo is my sophistication-seeping-out-of-her-pores friend. We grew up across the street from each other in Hoovertown, the upscale neighborhood of Copper Heights (if there is such a thing as “upscale” in a place like Copper Heights). When we met, my dad had just been elected to the state senate. Her dad was a hard-working businessman on the rise. She’s the friend who has a killer pair of four-inch stilettos for every situation but is still a classy bitch even on the rare occasion that she happens to find herself in tennis shoes and a T-shirt.

  She’s the one you call when you see that disastrous blind date walk into your father’s re-election campaign event with that slutty waitress on his arm and you happen to be wearing the same dress as said slutty waitress. (Again, true story. Are you starting to see now why I’m hesitant to date again?) She’s refined. And well bred. If I had to trust anyone with picking out my new panties, I guess it’d be her.

  She flips her lustrous raven hair over her narrow shoulder and peers down at the screen. “I like this one! Lacy. Cute. But it doesn’t scream I’ll let you tear these off in a janitor’s closet, y’know?”

  “Boring!” Nova pretends to snore. “I have a feeling that Reese needs some hot pink latex and fishnets in her life.”

  “I beg to differ,” I say, siding with Sophia. “Nothing says Fuck me and never call me again like pink latex and fishnets on a first date.”

  Nova groans. “Come on, Reese!”

  I plant my hands on my hips and stand firm on my decision. “Experts warn strongly against wearing underwear made of latex and other synthetic materials. Compromising one’s vaginal health all in the name of wearing cute panties that no one else will ever see is nothing but extreme narcissism. And this girl won’t be a part of it.” I harrumph self-righteously.

  “This girl won’t be a part of it!” Nova echoes me in a mocking tone. “This girl also won’t be a part of the sexually active population for the foreseeable future.”

  Sophia giggles suddenly. “Well, I know how we can settle this debate. Maybe you can ask the hot-as-hell guy I just saw moving into the house next door.” She tosses me a wink.

  “What hot-as-hell guy?” Nova asks, her head snapping in Sophia’s direction.

  “I just passed a U-Haul truck on the curb outside that house that’s been for rent for the past few months. A ridiculously hot guy was carrying stuff inside.”

  “Why are you only mentioning this now?” Nova’s gaze penetrates my skull. “Did you hear that, Reesie? Fresh meat. Right next door! Perfect for you!”

  “Don’t get all excited,” I say disinterestedly. “Charlie rented out the place next door for his friend who just moved to town. They served together in the military and now Charlie’s giving him a job in the construction business. Apparently, the guy’s got tons of baggage. His wife is gone, he just came back from the warzone and he has a kid.”

  Nova speaks in a lyrical voice with a smile as wide as the Nile. “Well maybe you should help him unpack that baggage. Literally and figuratively.”

  I scoff. “I don’t think so.”

  “He’s broken,” Sophia muses. “Just the way you like ‘em.”

  “I do not like broken men,” I mutter weakly.

  She gives an elegant shoulder shrug. “You totally do. You have a savior complex. No shame in it. It’s noble.”

  My friends are convinced that I have an unhealthy obsession with finding guys who are emotional disasters and trying to fix them. As much as I’d like to refute it, I’ve got to say that it’s true. Martin was cold hard proof of that. I haven’t dated too much since he and I split but each of my romantic prospects has been more fucked up than the last. At this point, there’s no point in denying it.

  Once I form an attachment to someone (or something), I can’t just walk away, even when the relationship starts to show signs of wear and tear. I believe that almost anything can be fixed, can be saved, can be restored. I believe that we walk away too easily, we give up too fast. Maybe I’ve got some sort of attachment issue. Maybe I have hero syndrome. Or maybe it’s just misplaced optimism. All I know is, I believe in holding on.

  Jeez—a shrink would have a field day with me.

  Nova lifts an eyebrow. “But you’re not fixing anybody with your pitiful underwear collection. That’s for sure.”

  “Would you two stop it? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my underwear. Or with my self-esteem. Since when did it become a crime to be single?” I give Nova a pointed look. “You’re single.”

  She leans back in her chair and folds her arms across her chest. “Yes, I’m single but I don’t take it out on my vagina. She has her needs fulfilled on the regular. You, on the other hand, are repressed.”
>
  Sophia glares. “Please don’t launch into another long-winded diatribe about your masturbation practices.”

  Nova glares back. “I will diatribe about my masturbation practices till my dying day if settling down means getting stuck with a square like Joshie Bear.”

  “Hey, that’s my fiancé you’re talking about!” She throws up her arms in anger.

  “And that’s my vag you’re talking about!” Nova retorts.

  “He is not a square.”

  “Josh has four sides that are all the same length and four ninety-degree angles. I’d say he’s a square, Princess Sophia.”

  The bride-to-be seethes. “I’m so about to uninvite you from the wedding.”

  I snicker quietly to myself and pull the cupcakes out of the oven as the timer goes off. At least when they’re fighting, the focus is off of me. As the girls continue to bicker, I take it upon myself to open the wine and pour us each a drink. By the time we’re drunk and eating cupcakes and leftover Italian food, we’ll be humming Kumbaya around the dinner table.

  I drop a perfectly good wine glass and it shatters to pieces when Nova and Sophia both yell out in unison, their eyes focused right over my shoulder. I spin around and look out the wide glass of the back door.

  And I scream the loudest.

  Chapter 3

  Leo

  My arms spread wide as I hold up the crumpled instruction sheet in front of me and try to make sense of the diagrams and drawings.

  “Fucking Christ!” I mumble under my breath. As soon as I utter the words, my head quickly snaps in the direction of the door. I breathe out in relief.

  Thank god Brent didn’t hear that because I’d have to explain to him again why he isn’t allowed to use those naughty words while I can’t seem to stop spitting them out every few minutes. It’s hard to go from the brutal, adrenaline-driven environment of the battlefield to the life of a civilian, a father, a role model in the blink of an eye.

  But that’s no excuse. I have to set a good example for him. He’s already been torn away from his mother with little explanation. If I don’t step up to the plate, he’ll lose his faith in humanity as a whole at the tender age of four. I can’t allow that to happen.

  He’s the single light in my dark life. His innocence is the flicker that keeps hope alive in my chest. I have to protect him, not just from the cruel, harsh world, but also from the darkness that has all but swallowed me up. Even as my anger, my guilt, my overwhelment threaten to overpower me, I have to show up every day and fight for that little boy’s future. I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off, but I’ve got to. I’m all he has.

  This town is as good a place as any for a fresh start. With its quiet, tree-lined streets and its two-story single-family homes. The perfect place for playing in the backyard and riding bikes on the quiet roads and reading books in a tree-house. The perfect place for giving my son the kind of childhood I never had.

  I turn back to the IKEA disaster on the floor in front of me. I’m almost positive that this isn’t what the dining table on display at the store looked like. Why are the legs sticking out of the top of the table instead of underneath it? I rotate the diagram 90 degrees and it still makes no sense.

  Scratching the back of my head, I sigh. Maybe I should have read the instructions before I started building instead of waiting until I fucked up.

  I stick my head out the back door to check on Brent. He’s sitting on the grass beneath the big oak tree with his Iron Man action figure in hand, mumbling animatedly to himself as he waves the thing around. His superhero cape is fastened securely around his shoulders. I feel a pang in my chest and I’m not sure if I’m touched by his innocence or if I’m jealous of his cluelessness.

  “Enjoy it while you can, buddy.” Because one day, life will give you a series of swift kicks in the ass and you’ll long for the days when you could just strap on your cape and pretend that you can stop the world from crumbling down all around you.

  I step back inside. Man—this house is hot as hell. I didn’t expect that April in northern Illinois would be this muggy. Leaving the door open for air to circulate, I turn back to my IKEA project. As soon as I’m done with tablegeddon, I’ve got to figure out the air conditioning system. In the meantime, I tear off my shirt and kneel down with the tiny wrenches and screws that came in the box and begin disassembling the table.

  This needs to get done tonight. I’m determined to sit my son at the table for dinner. It’s what families do. They sit at the table every night and they share a home-cooked meal. For us a home-cooked meal means packaged ramen but I digress. I want to give the child some semblance of normalcy even though our whole world has been flipped on its head.

  I get lost in the project, bent on figuring this puzzle out. I’m a military-trained weapons technician. I put guns together and take them apart in the blink of an eye. I can build a bomb using a rubber band, a nylon sock and the contents of my vegetable drawer. I’m about to start work on a general contractor’s team the day after tomorrow, for crying out loud. There’s no way I’m letting an IKEA kitchen table take me down.

  “Daddy, look at me!” I hear Brenton call out from the back porch.

  “Yeah, buddy. Really cool,” I say, barely glancing his way before he’s scampering down the stairs again, his cape flapping behind him.

  I’m down on my knees, taking another shot at screwing that leg into the table. I think this thing is finally starting to come together. But a few minutes later, a flash of red catches my attention as it zooms across the back porch.

  What the..? Am I seeing things? Every now and then, my PTSD causes my mind play to tricks on me. But when the red bolt zips by again, I know for sure that this is no optical illusion. I stumble to my feet as fast as I can, bolting toward the door.

  It’s too late.

  My son giggles wildly as he charges up the neighbor’s back porch and presses both tiny hands to the glass pane of the door. There’s a pair of enormous red panties covering his face.

  I cringe all the way down to my toes when I hear a woman’s shrill scream rip through the air.

  Chapter 4

  Reese

  Have you ever had that dream? The one where you’re up at the front of class to give a presentation that you’re completely unprepared for and the entire room is sitting there, waiting for you to get on with it. But when you look down, you realize that you’re naked. Completely naked.

  Usually, at that point in the dream, you bolt upright in bed, chest heaving, sweat on your brow and realize that—thank god—it was just a dream.

  Well, as I stand here at the back door, blinking impishly into the chiseled face of the strikingly handsome man standing shirtless in front of me, I realize to my horror that there is no waking up. This is no dream. This is my reality. There’s a little boy on my porch staring up at me through the stretched-out leg holes of my super-sized red granny panties.

  I’m going to need years of therapy to recover from this traumatic event.

  The tall, tan sculpture of male perfection snatches the underwear off of the child’s head and scolds him sternly. “Brenton Montgomery—what is wrong with you?!”

  “But, daddy—I’m Spiderman!” Innocent puppy dog eyes blink in his father’s direction.

  “But, nothing. You know better than to do something like this!” He’s fuming. Face red. Nostrils twitching. “…And Spiderman doesn’t wear a cape!” The stranger’s broad chest heaves as he turns his attention to me. He looks as mortified as I feel. “I am so, so sorry,” he tells me with an earnest expression, his iridescent blue irises glimmering despite the heavy bags beneath them. “He just…he…” The man’s deep voice trails off and his eyes flutter shut as he shoves a frustrated hand through his hair.

  My eyes fall to the panties still clenched in the fingers of his other hand. But I’m in too much shock to speak. Instead, my gaze explores the rock hard body on display in front of me. And my armpits go damp.

  He’s hot. Really hot
.

  My anti-perspirant isn’t strong enough to combat this level of man-heat.

  Dark blond hair with the slightest wave to it. Sharp, brooding eyes in the most intriguing shade of blue. Defined cheekbones and a jawline I want to trace with my fingertips.

  And the lips…the full, succulent, juicy lips, like harvest-fresh fruit at the end of summer.

  My eyes move down his stubbly chin and his bobbing Adam’s apple to his wide, rounded deltoids. His pecs are tight and swollen with the bulging muscles beneath. His abs are stacked like bricks one on top of the other—

  I feel an elbow nudge me in the ribs. “It’s no problem at all,” I hear Nova say over my left shoulder. “Right, Theresa? Tell him that it’s no problem at all.” She gives me a hard stare.

  “Right,” I say, snapping my attention back to his face. My knees go weak when my eyes collide with his. So hot…

  Sophia takes her position on my right side. “This is Reese,” she tells the gorgeous stranger as she gives me a little push in his direction. “She lives here. Alone.” The suggestive tenor of her voice is anything but subtle.

  His stoic eyes take a jaunt down my body and my skin heats with self-consciousness. “Reese. Charlie’s sister.” He shakes his head as if he’s just now remembering, and the interest I just saw in his expression fades away. I must have imagined it. “Yeah, he told me that you live next door. I’m sorry—in all the chaos of the past few days, I forgot.” He stretches his huge fingers out to me. When his palm slides against mine, my chest tightens and my whole arm tingles as we shake hands. “I’m Leo.” He pulls back way too fast. A mournful sigh slips from my mouth.

  “I’m Brenton,” a tiny voice interjects and my attention goes to the adorable little boy. Now that he’s no longer wearing my god-awful panties like a ski mask, I see a head of unruly brown hair that could probably use a trim and playful black eyes that hint at the thousands of types of mischief he could get into if given five minutes unsupervised.