Cherish Me

by Farrah Rochon

  When she turned from the fountain, she found Harrison standing a few feet away, holding his phone up to her.

  “Are you recording me?” Willow asked.

  “I had to. I needed to capture the look on your face right now.” He lowered the phone and stared at her, naked adoration emanating from his tender gaze. “You’re breathtaking, Willow.”

  Her heart swelled as a fierce yearning surged through her, tearing through the dense web of excuses she’d weaved around herself over the past year. How could she ever question the love staring back at her? How could she think—even for a moment—that she and Harrison weren’t meant to be?

  This man was her soul mate. It didn’t matter that their relationship was no longer the storybook fairytale she’d thought it would always be. It was still, without question, the absolute best part of her.

  Willow reached for his hand.

  “This takes my breath away,” she said. “All of it.”

  She stood on her tip toes and placed a delicate kiss against his lips. She wanted to do more. She wanted to push her tongue inside his mouth and devour him. Lust carved a path through her bloodstream, baiting her like the call of the sirens found in marble statues all around this city. It was a seductive force, tempting her to ignore the problems plaguing their marriage and lose herself in the romance of the moment.

  But she couldn’t. There was still too much unsaid—too much they needed to work through. A simple kiss would have to suffice. For now.

  Harrison requested an Uber to take them to the Museo Leonardo da Vinci for their private tour. As they progressed from one fantastical invention to another, Willow reverted back to that bright-eyed little girl who fell in love with learning how things worked. She was blown away as she viewed the Renaissance genius’s sketchbook, marveling at the way da Vinci’s mind worked.

  “I think you’re right,” Willow said. She looked over her shoulder at Harrison. “We have to bring Athens and Lily to see this. I want them to love science the way I did—the way I do,” she corrected.

  He held up his phone. “All it takes is a call to the travel agent. But that’s for later. This time, it’s for us to enjoy alone.” He looked at his watch. “Speaking of enjoying ourselves, there’s something else I had on the itinerary that I thought would have to wait until later in the week. But since this tour took less time than I’d anticipated, we can do it now.”

  They exited the museum and Harrison hailed a cab. Less than ten minutes later, they were dropped off at the base of the famed Spanish Steps.

  “I wondered if we’d get the chance to see this,” Willow said as she jumped out of the cab. “Do you think we have time to visit the church at the top?”

  Harrison pulled something up on his phone. “We still have hours to kill. Our tour of the Vatican and St. Peter’s Basilica isn’t until four.”

  “Good! Because after this I want to walk through the Villa Borghese gardens. Let’s go!”

  Less than half way into their climb, Willow started to regret all those spinning classes she’d skipped. By the time they reached the church at the pinnacle of the steps, it felt as if the fires of hell were licking at her thighs. She took a moment to catch her breath and vowed to add a couple of extra aerobic days to her workout schedule as soon as they returned home.

  The crowd on the steps’ top landing was thicker than those they’d encountered at the other sites they’d visited today, but as she looked out over the balustrade, Willow understood why everyone congregated here. The view was like something out of a dream.

  “Stand right there,” Harrison said. “Don’t move.”

  “What are you—” Willow watched as he walked over to an old man selling roses to tourists. He returned with a single stem. Before handing it to her, he pulled out his phone and swiped across the screen with his thumb. He held up the phone as he finally handed her the rose.

  “You saw this picture a few years ago of a woman standing on the Spanish Steps looking out at the city below.”

  Willow gasped. “You remembered that?” She stared in amazement at the photo he’d taken from a magazine advertisement for perfume. “Where’d you even find this picture?”

  “I’ve had it in my phone for years. You refused to throw away that copy of Essence magazine. Sometimes I would catch you staring at it with this faraway look on your face.” He hunched his shoulders. “I could see how much you longed to be here.” He handed her the rose. “I wanted you to have this moment.”

  Could a heart actually burst with gratitude? Everyone standing here was about to find out, because Willow doubted her heart could contain the emotions filling it right now.

  She mimicked the model’s pose, holding the soft petals up to her nose as she stared out at the city stretching in front of them. After capturing the picture, she and Harrison went over to the Trinità dei Monti, but discovered the church was closed to tourists at the moment.

  “Do you want to wait until it reopens?” Harrison asked.

  Willow shook her head. “I want some time to see the Villa Borghese.”

  They left the Spanish Steps and strolled along the Piazza Trinita dei Monti, the small stretch connecting the Piazza di Spagna to one of the entrances to the Borghese family’s famed villa.

  “So we’re just going to walk around some old Italian family’s gardens?” Harrison asked.

  “I promise you’ll love it,” Willow insisted.

  “Is it as nice as my backyard landscaping?”

  She held her thumb and forefinger a few centimeters apart. “Maybe just a little.”

  “Just a little huh?” Harrison said fifteen minutes later as they ambled along past the marble busts that lined the Pincio Promenade.

  “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. We do okay, but we don’t have Borghese money.”

  Harrison looked around. “I doubt the entire state of Louisiana has Borghese money.”

  Her loud burst of laughter interrupted the tranquility of the quiet gardens, but she couldn’t help it. Harrison had always been a genius at putting a smile on her face.

  He squeezed her hand. “It feels good to hear that sound again,” he said. “It’s been too long since I heard you laugh.”

  Willow dipped her head. She could feel a blush forming on her cheeks. “Not all that long.”

  “Long enough,” he countered. “I’m not talking about the occasional laugh when Athens cracks one of his corny jokes. I’m talking about a real laugh. The kind I used to hear often. And a real smile, like the one you’re wearing now.” His voice took on a solemn note. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to put a smile on your face, Willow.”

  Sadness, laden with guilt, settled within her chest. It was unfair to allow him to assume responsibility for the state of their marriage when she was just as much to blame. Willow took him by the hand and guided him to one of the wooden benches lining the walkway. Once seated, she flattened her palms on her thighs and stared at the tour group huddled around Embriaco’s water clock, where she and Harrison had just visited.

  “None of this is entirely your fault,” Willow finally spoke. She looked over at him. “You know that, don’t you?”

  “You keep saying that, but it doesn’t change the way I feel.” His earnest gaze sent another arrow of guilt straight through her chest. “I live to make you happy, Wills. That’s why this past year has been so damn hard. Sensing you weren’t happy and not knowing how to fix it; it’s been driving me crazy.”

  “If it were as easy as you fixing it, we would have been fixed months ago. Fixing things is what you do.” She reached over and took his hand. “But there is no easy fix for this.”

  “What is this, Willow? What broke between us?”

  She turned more fully toward him, bringing one leg up on the bench. She caught sight of a small orange insect creeping along the bench’s edge and let it crawl onto her finger. As she observed the bug, Willow tilted her head to the side and said, “Did I tell you Jade was in New Orleans a few days ago? She had speak
ing engagements at Tulane and Loyola.” Willow watched as the bug flittered away. “She was only in the city for the day, but she and I had the chance to hang out and talk.”

  “Okay,” he said, dragging the word out a little. “So, what did Jade have to say?”

  Turning her attention to him, she continued. “Well, you know my sister. She isn’t one to play Monday morning quarterback when it comes to her profession. But we talked about some of the big life changes that have taken place over the last year, and how those things can affect a family, both positively and negatively. We’ve had a lot of those this year, Harrison. The biggest being the loss of your mom.”

  He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, that’s a blow that’s still being felt.”

  “And it will continued to be felt for a long, long time. I loved your mother so much. She was truly one of my very best friends.”

  The corner of his mouth tipped up in a small smile. “Everyone used to say if she had to choose between the two of us, she would have chosen you.”

  A crack of laughter shot out of her mouth. “You know that’s not true.”

  He shook his head and rubbed the light stubble shadowing his jaw. “I’m not too sure about that. Mama loved her some Willow.”

  She laughed, but then sobered, staring out once again at the 19th century clock.

  “It’s still so hard for me to accept that she’s gone.” She fought against the swell of sorrow that attempted to overwhelm her. “But Diane’s death is just the tip of the iceberg. There have been so many changes—stressors, as Jade referred to them. You transitioning to partner in Jonathan’s law firm, compounded with Athens’s pre-diabetes diagnosis, and now this thing with Lily.” Her shoulders slumped as the weight of everything once again settled into her bones. “Jade believes I may be suffering from something called situational depression. And after reading up on it, I think she may be onto something.”

  “You’re depressed?”

  “Well, yes,” she said. “Think of all the things I just listed. Does it really come as a shock that it would lead to me feeling a bit depressed?”

  “So that’s why we’re separated?”

  “The depression isn’t what caused us to grow apart, Harrison. I think it’s a result of us growing apart. It’s not a chicken or egg kind of thing. It’s fed into this feeling.”

  He clamped his hands together and stared straight ahead. After a few moments passed, he asked, “Did Jade offer suggestions about how to fix it? Do you need to be on antidepressants or anything?”

  “No.” Willow shook her head. “At least I don’t think so. Jade did recommend I talk to someone. She gave me the name of a doctor she knows back home. I plan to call him once we get back.”

  “Okay,” he said with a nod. “That’s good. If this is what you think you need in order to feel better, let’s do it.”

  “Honestly, I think I’m starting to come out of the depression. As more time passes, and some of the stress starts to subside, it’ll get better.”

  “But there will always be stress, Wills.”

  “Yes, but not to this level. Not only did we experience really huge stressors, they all seemed to pile up at once. But Athens’s health has taken a turn for the better. Things are still a bit chaotic at the law practice, but it isn’t nearly as bad as it was when you first became a partner. And while we’re nowhere near over losing Diane, it feels as if we’re finally starting to heal. Establishing the foundation has helped with that.”

  A smile drew across his face. “It has,” Harrison said. “She would be proud of what we’ve done.”

  “So proud,” Willow agreed.

  He looked over at her. “What about us? Are we starting to heal?”

  Willow mulled the question over for several long moments before finally answering.

  “Yes,” she said. “I think so.” She regarded him with a thoughtful smile. “We needed this. We needed this time together to just talk. The more we can talk things through, the more we can continue to heal what’s broken.”

  Harrison held his hand out to her. She captured it, entwining their fingers as they continued their stroll. They visited the Temple of Diana, then moved on to the Borghese Gallery. They hadn’t booked tickets ahead of time so they couldn’t view the artwork inside the museum, but Willow was happy to simply walk around the outside of the beautiful stone building and admire the amazing architecture.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t have kept this trip a surprise,” Harrison said. “If I knew this was a place you wanted to visit, we could have ordered tickets ahead of time.”

  “Don’t.” Willow placed her hand against his chest. “This is perfect, Harrison. Every detail is just…it’s perfect.”

  The tender yearning she witnessed in his steady gaze sent an arrow of longing straight through Willow’s heart. He lifted the hand she’d placed on his chest and pressed a delicate kiss to the center of her palm. Then, with aching gentleness, he lowered his head and treated her lips to the same show of affection.

  It was an innocent kiss, even more so than the kiss they’d shared at Trevi Fountain. Yet that strange concoction of emotions—fear, excitement, panic, desire—churned through her once again. What did she think would happen? That he would demand they go back to living together without addressing the issues in their marriage simply because she let him kiss her?

  The irrationality of it struck her like a slap to the face. This was Harrison, for God’s sake. If she made a list of all the people in the world she should fear, Harrison Holmes would be last on the list. He wouldn’t even be on the list.

  Where had this feeling come from? When had this started?

  There wasn’t a particular time or incident she could point back to. There had been a gradual build-up, like everything else that had led them to this point. Guilt over her dinner with Marcus, the mundane routineness that came with seventeen years of marriage, the general stress of life—all of it had contributed to this unfamiliar distance between them.

  Willow reined in the anxiety his kiss stirred within her. The first step in finding their way back to each other would be to return to being the affectionate couple they once were. When he started to pull away, she slipped her hand behind Harrison’s head and drew him in for another kiss. A deeper kiss. A kiss like the ones they used to share.

  His shoulders went rigid for a moment before relaxing into the kiss. He captured her jaw in his palm and held her steady, tilting their heads and deepening the kiss. His mouth opened wider and he sucked her tongue inside. Willow leaned in closer, relishing the solid feel of his chest, its strength so familiar, so comforting.

  She backed him up against the marble building and flattened her front to his. They stood there kissing like a couple of teenagers experiencing fresh, new love. But for Willow this did feel new. It had been so long since she and her husband had just existed like this, sharing the deep, soul-stirring love that had always been the cornerstone of their union. She could barely contain the myriad emotions swirling through her as she once again felt Harrison’s love wash over her.

  How she wished this kiss could be the balm they needed to mend what was broken between them. If only it could vanquish the discontent that had built up over these months they’d spent gradually growing apart.

  They’d forgotten how to be a couple. Everything in their lives revolved around the kids, or the family, or his work. None of it was about them anymore. A marriage couldn’t thrive—it couldn’t survive—if the focus was constantly centered on things outside of it, without ever looking within.

  But, for the first time in a long time, it felt as if they’d turned a corner. She and Harrison had talked more in the day and a half they’d been in Rome than in the last two months. They would find their way back to each other. The certainty of it filled her with a sense of hope she’d been lacking for far too long.

  When Harrison finally released her lips, the smile on his handsome face felt like a ray of sunshine on a dark and gloomy day. He pressed a
kiss to her forehead before resting his against it.

  “God, I’ve missed that,” he whispered.

  “Me too,” Willow said.

  He captured her face in his palms, caressing her cheeks with the soft brush of his thumbs. “So why haven’t we done it more often, Wills? Why did we stop?”

  “That’s what we need to figure out,” she said.

  “Are you ready to do that?” he asked.

  Willow knew what her answer would signify. It would be a promise to reveal things she’d kept hidden for nearly a year.

  She should have done so a long time ago.

  She nodded. “Yes. I’m ready. Understanding how we got here is going to help us find our way back to what we used to be.” She cupped his jaw. In a desperate whisper, she said, “Because that’s what I want, baby. I want my husband. I want my marriage. I want us.” She caressed the side of his face with the pad of her thumb. “I love you, Harrison.”

  His expressive eyes brimmed with relief and gratitude.

  “I love you too,” he said. He brushed his mouth against hers. Their lips still touching, he said, “Not that long ago, I thought all it would take is the two of us saying those words to each other to make everything okay. But I realize now that it won’t be so easy.”

  “No, it won’t be easy,” Willow said. She lifted her face and looked him in the eyes. “But it will be worth it.”

  You need to get up and out of this bed.

  Harrison knew what he needed to do. He’d been looking forward to this day in particular ever since he and his travel agent finalized the itinerary for this trip. He had one goal today: to blow Willow’s mind. It would all start with a private tour of a winery by a local guide who was scheduled to pick them up in another hour. Which is why he needed to get out of bed and start getting ready.

  But how in the hell was he supposed to leave this?

  For the second morning in a row, Harrison found himself waking up with his wife’s luscious, petite body draped across him. Her breasts spilled temptingly out of the top of the lacy gown she wore—a gown he’d never seen before. A gown she must have bought specifically for this trip. From the moment he’d first laid eyes on it, he’d started reading way more into that silky nightgown than he should have.