A Hope for Hannah (Hannah's Heart 2)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Betty clutched Hannah’s arm, seemingly unaware of where she was. Hannah was deeply grateful no one else had walked in on them yet. She doubted whether she and Betty could pass this off as a normal conversation.

  “I was wild once. Your mother was too,” Betty continued. “I was the bad one, though. Much worse than the others, only no one really knew. I was good at hiding things. Then too…see, Hannah…” Betty’s eyes filled with pain. “I had an English boyfriend. In secret. For a long time. I thought I would die when he left me because I wouldn’t go with him. Only I had wished to go! Wished it with all my heart! Oh, Hannah, I thought God would never let me love again after that. That is what I almost told Steve, so he would know. When I married him, I thought I could forget about it.”

  Hannah, completely overwhelmed, didn’t know what to say. She had known from her mother about the rumspringa days of her parents’ youth but not this much detail. Now she felt the burden of the confession itself and the unexpected weight it placed on her shoulders, the sorrow because she had to be the one to bear it.

  “Oh, Hannah,” Betty said, wiping away her tears. “I’m so glad I could tell you that. God has sent us such a good minister in Jake.”

  Because she didn’t know what else to do, Hannah gave Betty a hug. It felt awkward, but Betty responded with a squeeze back…and then someone came in the door. They both smiled as if it were a perfectly normal Sunday morning—as if nothing had changed.

  On the way home, Hannah asked Jake, “You won’t ever go liberal, will you?”

  “Liberal?” he asked, a puzzled look on his face.

  “Nothing,” she said with a shake of her head, her thoughts fuzzy. “I was just asking.”

  “You don’t want me to, do you?” he asked with a note of horror in his voice.

  “Of course not,” she said.

  “Good,” he said, shaking Mosey’s reins, urging him up the incline toward their cabin.

  “You spoke well today,” she said, forcing herself to acknowledge the truth, “real well.”

  “I don’t know,” he said, but Hannah was sure he liked hearing her praise.

  Twenty-four

  The following weekend Jake went elk hunting with Steve in the Cabinet Mountains. They took along white-tailed deer tags too, just in case there were no elk. Hannah felt certain they were driven by the joy of the hunt more than the desire for fresh meat.

  Jake’s anticipation of the hunt brought a smile to his face that relieved Hannah. Between his ordination and his new job at the hardware store, he had been sober long enough. The little money the job provided wasn’t enough for them to live on for long, and Hannah knew how much it weighed on him.

  The hunters left before dawn on Saturday morning, accompanied by two Englishers, friends of Steve. It was better for them not to be alone in the mountains, Steve had said. Plus the drive with the Englishers supplied the easiest way to reach the jump off point, where they would hike into the mountains.

  The day went by fast enough for Hannah, but by four o’clock, with darkness threatening and what looked like snow clouds on the peaks of the mountains, she began to worry a bit. Everything else was going wrong for them, so why shouldn’t something more happen? Maybe something worse. But no sooner had she gone out to the porch to look toward the mountains than the pickup truck pulled in.

  Jake jumped from the back and waved a thanks as the two Englishers drove back out of the driveway. Hannah watched him expectantly, curious if he had been able to relax—and if he had shot anything.

  Jake seemed happy enough as he walked toward the house after putting his gun in the barn.

  “Got something, I did,” he said cheerfully as he bounded up onto the porch.

  “An elk?” she asked.

  “No, just a deer. We need to go over to Steve’s tonight. He’s going to keep part of it after we butcher it. Betty will make supper for us.”

  “Good thing I hadn’t started anything yet.”

  “I’ll get Mosey,” he said. “We need to go.”

  “I’ll get some pans and knives,” she said, walking quickly toward the kitchen.

  Minutes later they were on their way, the pans and knives rattling in the back of the buggy.

  By the time they arrived, Steve already had the deer strung up in the barn. Hannah, having forgotten an apron, ran into the house to see if Betty had an extra.

  “What a mess!” Betty proclaimed as she opened the kitchen door. “And on a Saturday night to boot.”

  Hannah offered a wry smile and said, “Well, at least they enjoyed themselves. Jake did anyway. And that’s worth a lot.”

  “Oh, Steve did too,” Betty said. “There’s something about men, guns, and mountains.”

  “Do you have an apron for me?” Hannah asked. “I forgot mine.”

  “Yes, I think so.” Betty dug in the kitchen drawer and produced two dark blue, full-length aprons. She held them up. “Good butchering aprons. Saturday night’s just not good.”

  “Just think fun,” Hannah told her with a grin, and then she headed out to the barn. The weighty clouds seemed on the verge of dumping a white blanket of snow. The heavy air wrapped itself around her but was not about to dampen her spirits.

  Jake and Steve were busy with the first deer. They had already set some of the meat out on a card table covered by clean plastic. As Hannah entered, the snow began to gently fall in thick heavy flakes to the ground.

  “Looks like it’s good we didn’t get lost in the mountains after all,” Steve said, relief in his voice.

  Betty walked in and said, “You didn’t get lost?”

  “Not really,” Jake replied quickly. “We just thought so for a moment.”

  “That’s what I don’t like about mountains,” Betty declared. Hannah gave her a quick glance of agreement. Those mountains looked so innocent, so friendly, and yet they harbored dangers one would never notice at first glance.

  Betty filled several bowls with water from the barn spigot, and Hannah set to work washing the meat. She separated the types of meat into different piles as best she could, and soon the table was piled half full. Betty then went even further, cutting the slabs into smaller pieces and bagging them. Two plastic tubs on the barn floor took the finished product.

  A little after eight, they were done. Steve and Jake hauled the unused portions of flesh into the woods with flashlights.

  “Something will take care of it,” Betty muttered to Hannah.

  “At least you don’t have bears around,” Hannah said.

  “Not yet,” Betty replied, not in a very good mood. “At least it’s stopped snowing.”

  “Do you think we’re in for a hard winter?” Hannah asked, dreading the answer.

  “You never know.” Betty shrugged, putting lids on the plastic tubs. “Snow’s early enough, I guess. You think this tub’s got enough meat for you?”

  Hannah lifted the lid on the smallest tub, calculating briefly before her reply. “Too much,” she said.

  “You sure?” Betty asked.

  “I’m sure. We can’t use that much in the next few weeks.”

  “No, not without a freezer,” Betty agreed, taking several bags back out. “You know how to marinate this meat? It makes a real tasty meal using the steaks.”

  “I don’t have a recipe,” Hannah said. “I’m sure you do, though.”

  Betty nodded. “Don’t let me forget to give it to you before you go. You’re staying for supper. A late supper.”

  “If it’s not too much bother,” Hannah said.

  “There’s no sense in going home to the cabin still having to fix supper. I’ve got plenty.”

  The men came back in and stamped snow from their boots.

  “That’s enough meat for a while,” Steve said. “Now, for supper. Looks like we didn’t even go too late.”

  Hannah followed Betty to the house and set the table while Betty heated the soup she had prepared earlier. Betty went to put her share of the meat in the propane-powered deep freezer
in her basement. Hannah hoped she and Jake would have a freezer someday when they had enough money, but for now the springhouse would have to do.

  Jake and Steve came in noisily after having put Jake’s share of meat in the buggy. They sat down for a quick supper. Just as they were finishing and Hannah had risen to help Betty clear the table, they heard a clear, unearthly scream rent the air outside. Hannah stopped in her tracks, several bowls balanced in her hands.

  “What was that?” Betty asked, her voice rising.

  Steve and Jake jumped up from the table at the same time, two protectors ready for battle.

  “It’s just an animal…bobcat probably,” Hannah said, remembering the bobcats she often saw at the edge of the woods near the cabin. “You did drag the deer parts into the woods, right?”

  “I just knew they shouldn’t have done that,” Betty said from the kitchen, her voice still high pitched.

  Just then they heard another scream.

  “That’s more than a bobcat,” Steve said.

  “We’d better look,” Jake said.

  “No you don’t,” Betty told them.

  Steve and Jake ignored her as Steve went to retrieve his flashlight from the bedroom.

  “You’d better just stay inside,” Jake said to the women.

  “It’s just a bobcat,” Hannah said, more hesitantly now that she had heard the second scream. That was an awful lot of noise for the size of creature she had seen near the cabin.

  “I think it’s something bigger than a bobcat,” Jake said. “We’ll be careful,” he added in answer to her concerned look.

  “I’m going with you,” Hannah said, eliciting a look of astonishment on Jake’s face.

  “Well, I’m not!” whispered Betty, her face pale.

  As the trio stepped outside, all was quiet. The snow was falling gently now. Steve’s light searched the darkness with a beam of brilliant white.

  “I don’t see anything,” Steve said as they approached the edge of the woods.

  “We left the deer parts deeper in,” Jake said, moving on.

  “We should have buried them,” Steve said with regret. “I was thinking small animals.”

  In answer to his words, the scream sounded again very near. Hannah grabbed Jake’s arm.

  “We’d better go back,” she whispered.

  Jake shook his head. “Whatever it is, it’s too big to leave here.”

  “I think it’s a mountain lion,” Steve offered, moving deeper into the woods. Jake followed, and Hannah, who wasn’t about to stay by herself, tagged close behind.

  Just then a flash of eyes was caught in the beam of Steve’s light. A faint outline of a long body stretched out behind those eyes.

  “Hannah’s right. We had better go back,” Steve shouted as he bent down to search for something to throw.

  The answer was another scream from the animal, its tail violently slamming against the ground.

  “Maybe we’d better call the game warden,” Jake suggested, hanging back as Steve advanced even closer.

  “A lot of good that did with your bear,” Steve replied as he lifted a good-sized branch from the ground and waved it above his head and charged toward the two eyes.

  Hannah stifled her own scream as what appeared to be a large mountain lion first advanced, snarled, and then retreated slowly. Its tail thrashed wildly, and low growls rose from its throat.

  “Shoo!” Steve said even louder. “Get!”

  Jake seemed to gather courage and moved closer.

  “Get a shovel,” Steve told Jake. “We need to bury these remains. I can’t have cats like this hanging around.”

  “Where is one?” Jake asked.

  “In the barn. Hannah knows.”

  Hannah headed quickly to the barn with Jake following. She grabbed two shovels, handed them to Jake, and then took a hoe for herself. When they returned to where Steve had faced off with the animal, they found that Steve had successfully chased it off—for now. The two men then took turns digging several deep holes, the digging easier once they were through the frozen surface.

  “That ought to do it,” Steve concluded after they had pushed the last of the deer parts into the holes. Hannah used her hoe to smooth over the spot.

  “That was a close call,” Jake said, wiping his forehead as Steve tamped the ground with his feet.

  “What if the cat digs it up?” Hannah asked.

  “Then I guess we have to call the game warden,” Steve said. “Something has to be done anyway. Hopefully this will work.”

  Back in the house, Betty looked as though she expected them to be torn to bits.

  “We’re alive,” Steve told her, chuckling.

  “Don’t do things like that again,” Betty said. “My heart can’t stand it.”

  “I’ll try not to,” Steve said with a teasing laugh.

  “We’d better get going,” Jake said, moving toward the front door.

  “Thanks for supper,” Hannah said on the way out.

  “And for help with the meat,” Jake added.

  When they arrived home, Hannah helped Jake stash the meat in the springhouse, making sure the door was securely fastened. One animal disturbance for the night had been enough for her.

  Later Hannah took comfort in Jake’s arms long after he had fallen asleep.

  Twenty-five

  The next day Jake didn’t have any responsibilities in church because Bishop Nisley was back. The fact that he had to sit in front on the ministers’ bench still bothered Hannah but less so than the previous week.

  On Monday, she reminded Jake about her need for a doctor’s appointment. Betty had told her Sunday about a woman doctor in Libby, Dr. Lisa, who came highly recommended. “She’s not a regular obstetrician,” Betty had said. “She’s just a family doctor, but she’s good.” That was good enough for Hannah, as neither she nor Jake had a regular doctor since their move to Montana.

  Hannah asked Jake to call for an appointment from the hardware store. She was a bit concerned about where they’d get the money but more concerned that their baby have a healthy entrance into the world. She was sure Jake felt the same way.

  When Jake returned home, he told her the appointment was on Thursday in two weeks. Hannah raised the question about how to pay. Jake didn’t say anything for a while but then simply said the money would have to come out of his paycheck. They had started building the log furniture this week, he added, and perhaps there would be more income later.

  That evening, Hannah served the first of the deer burger and asked if Mr. Brunson could be invited for supper on Friday night. “I’m marinating steak,” she said. “He might enjoy it.”

  “What about the burger?” Jake asked. “Wouldn’t that be good enough?”

  “You’ll be good and tired of deer burger by then,” Hannah assured him. “Trust me. We will be depending a lot on hunting this winter.”

  Jake nodded solemnly. “Then I guess I should go again before too long. The white-tailed deer licenses are easy enough to get.”

  “You wouldn’t even have to go back to the mountains,” Hannah said, hoping that would make things easier.

  “I guess we’re stuck with wild meat for a while,” Jake said with a slight groan.

  “Maybe we’ll learn to like it as much as hamburger,” Hannah said. She caught herself feeling more cheerful than she had in a long time, and it surprised her. Maybe I’ve matured, she thought, faster than expected. The thought made her laugh.

  The next day a long letter full of news arrived from her mother. Her father was about to climb the walls and more than ready to get back to work. The bishop’s funeral had been a sad one and large, as it often was when a tragic, sudden death occurred.

  Toward the end of the letter, Kathy said the trailer factories were on a fresh hiring spree with many new openings—if one liked that type of work. Why her mother should mention this, Hannah was uncertain. It felt like salt had been poured into her still-opened wound. Did her mother think there was a chance the
y could move? Hannah sighed, realizing her mother meant well. Some baby news followed along with who was dating whom, as if her mother was really interested in such things. She must be trying to satisfy my interest, Hannah thought, since these are the people I know.

  At the end there came a little mention—a mere drop of words on the page—that Hannah was to tell Jake the district next to theirs lacked a minister, one short of the usual number. Some minister called Benny Troyer had moved to southern Ohio.

  This stirred emotions Hannah had resolved to forget. Possibilities raced through her mind until she had to calm herself down. It seemed unlikely Jake would consider this opening, and she decided not to tell him, at least for now. If an appropriate time ever came, then perhaps she might say something.

  Jake came home on Wednesday night grinning with the news that Mr. Howard had set up the first tools in the shop.

  “I started my first project,” Jake said. “Not bad, if I have to say so myself. Mr. Howard was pleased too.”

  Hannah sat on the couch ready to listen, glad Jake was happy.

  “I nicked my finger a little.” Jake showed her the bandage.

  “Surely you’re not starting that!” Hannah imagined future injuries, even missing fingers.

  Jake laughed at the look on her face. “I’ll learn to be careful,” he assured her.

  “Please,” she said, looking beseechingly at him, glad at least he seemed to take her concerns seriously.

  “Is supper ready?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Deer burger again?”

  “I have cherry pie too, though,” she said, delighted when his face lit up.

  “Can we afford it?” he asked.

  “We had an extra can of cherries from when my parents were here. The pie is a bit skimpy. Maybe I shouldn’t buy such extras for a while, though.”

  “Maybe,” he said.

  “Did you invite Mr. Brunson yet?” she asked.

  “Yesterday. He said he’d come.”

  Just after supper, as Hannah was clearing the dishes, they heard a buggy rattle into the driveway. Jake went to the door and stepped outside onto the porch to wait. Hannah wondered who would come visiting unannounced at this time of night. Betty would, no doubt, but Hannah could think of no reason unless there was bad news. Hannah pushed the thought away and purposely stayed in the kitchen, waiting for the person to arrive.