Drunk In Love (Love #1)

by Kitty Parker

  She turns her head and looks at the clock on the nightstand. It's just a little past eleven.

  Even though she knows it hasn't bothered him, she gets out of bed nonetheless to check on Matty. Sure enough, the boy is still sleeping deeply in his bed. She creeps into the room and slips his arm back under the covers that was flopping over the side of the bed and brushing back some of his yellow curls, she bends down and kisses him on the forehead.

  "If you want to drop dead, please feel free to do it!" Carolina is shouting now and then a door slams so sharply, Daisy actually feels herself jump a little from the noise.

  Daisy walks quietly to her front door as if someone will hear her do so and she peeks through the peephole but the hallway is empty. Carolina has stormed away and Jack isn't following after her. It's none of her business but she can't help but be curious. Did Jack and Carolina just break things off? And why would that make her chest feel light as if she's happy over that? That's terrible of her to be happy over someone else's suffering. Jack's probably upset – or as upset as he'll allow himself to be. He and Carolina seemed to have been dating for quite a few months and few people are actually happy when a relationship ends.

  Maybe she'll be brave enough to go across the hall tomorrow and check to see how he is.

  …

  The next day, Daisy puts a post-it on Jack's door, inviting him to dinner and a little after five o'clock just like the other times, there's a knock on her door. Matty answers it and from the kitchen, she hear them talking to one another, Matty's voice excited as always whenever around Jack and getting to spend time with him.

  A moment later, Jack comes into the kitchen and Daisy gives him a small smile. Jack just stares at her though.

  ""You think I feel sorry for you," he informs her rather bluntly.

  She blinks at him, not saying anything; not too sure what to say. She doesn't know why she feels surprised that he's figured it out. One of the few things she's been able to learn about him is that Jack is incredible observant. Of course he would have figured that out.

  "But I don't," he shakes his head. "And I don't wan' you feelin' sorry for me either."

  Daisy is finally able to speak. She shakes her head. "I don't," she tells him honestly.

  Jack takes a moment to look at her – study her – and she wills herself not to shift under his eyes. But she can't look into his eyes for longer than just a few seconds before she turns her head away. She hopes he doesn't think that that means she's not telling the truth. She just doesn't like when anyone looks at her for too long. Hopefully, he's figured that out already.

  He exhales a soft cloud of air. "It ain't like me and Carolina had some great love story or somethin'," he says and even though she knows it's not her place, she can't help but say something about what she heard the night before.

  "You two were together for a while," she points out to him.

  Jack just shrugs though. "Meant a lot less to me than to her." He pauses and he's the one to look away from her now; as if embarrassed or even ashamed. "I'm an asshole," he then adds in a quiet voice.

  Daisy's not too sure what to say to that. She wants to tell him that he's not but he's done too many things to her to show her that he actually is. She can't figure him out and she wonders if she'll ever be able to. Sometimes – especially lately – he can be so nice and almost downright sweet to not only her but to Matty, too, but sometimes, he's just that. An asshole.

  She wishes there is a way she can get past this crush on him but it feels like no matter how long she tries to keep herself away from him, she tortures herself by inviting him around again and she is quick to discover that this stupid crush is still very much alive inside of her.

  She wonders what she has to do to get rid of it because honestly, having this crush on Jack Belton is absolutely exhausting her and she can't ever imagine anything coming of it so why continue to torture herself? She has enough of that going on in her life without adding to it.

  …

  Summer is just the way she hopes. Busy. Birthday parties and outdoor barbecues and Fourth of July parties and every morning, she wakes up to even more orders sitting in her queue and her summer passes in a whirl of baking and piping and deliveries. She's doing well for herself and for Matty and she puts away some to be kept and saved in the bank and with the rest of the money, she pays rent and the bills and she makes sure there is always milk in the refrigerator.

  And at the end of each week, she sits down to work on her finances and she sees her income growing – she's not rich by any means but she is able to provide a comfortable life for herself and her son and that's all she's ever wanted. She still has that five thousand dollar prize money in her bank account, collecting interest, and she has been adding to that with these past few months. Soon. She'll be able to rent her own small shop soon.

  She looks to the chalkboard - the one Jack has gotten her for her birthday - hanging on the wall in her kitchen. It's simple but she thinks Daisy's Bakery will be the perfect name for it.

  …

  He's not heartbroken when Carolina storms out on him. Honestly, he feels relieved about it but he just feels a little bad for how this thing between them finally met its end. He's a dick and now, Carolina knows that just like everyone else in his life does.

  Saying one girl's name when another is going down on you solidifies your place in the dick hall-of-fame.

  Carolina had ripped her head up and stared at him and Jack stared back, wondering if he had really just said Daisy's name out loud because he thought he had been so careful in swallowing it down. But the way Carolina had been staring at him, he knew he had said it. And there was no way he could pretend that it didn't happen.

  He supposes Carolina's reaction was mild compared to what he probably deserved it to be.

  She yells and storms out and wishes him dead and he closes the door behind her as she leaves without offering her an apology or explanation – though he guesses nothing has to be explained. He leans back against the wall and takes a deep breath, listening to the quietness of the apartment that is left behind in her wake.

  He waits to feel bad or guilty but the truth is, he doesn't feel either of those things because even though it had been Carolina's mouth on him, Daisy had been the only one of his mind.

  She's usually the only thing on his mind nowadays.

  …

  He's just gotten back from the garage on Saturday afternoon when there's a timid knock on his door. For a heart-stopping second, he thinks it's Carolina but the knock is too quiet for her considering when she had left, she had been spitting fire. When he goes to answer it, he's not necessarily surprised to see that it's Matty. He's smiling up at him and Jack's own lips twitch at the sight of the little kid. It's always amazing to Jack how much this kid looks just like Daisy – just in boy form.

  "Hey, kid," Jack says, leaning against the door frame.

  He remembers when Matty came to his door a few weeks ago, asking him if he had any milk he could have and he remembers the way his stomach had plummeted at that, realizing that Daisy was a lot worse off than he had ever expected.

  "Hi," Matty smiles up at him. "Mama needs help."

  "With what?" Jack asks and ignores how he immediately pushes himself forward at just the idea of Daisy needing something.

  He wonders what it is about this girl that's made him so pathetic. But he already knows the answer. Daisy is pretty much the most perfect girl he's ever met and though he's also pretty sure he doesn't have the right to even breathe the same air as her, he can't seem to get himself away from her. He's tried. They both know he's tried but he always seems to come back and lately, he hasn't been going anywhere. He meant it. He wants to be her friend.

  He wants to torture himself on a daily basis and be her friend and be close to her without ever actually having her.

  "She's baked a ton of cupcakes and needs help carrying them," Matty explains as he leads him across the hall through the open door of their apartment.

/>   Just like Matty said, Daisy is in the kitchen and it seems as if every available space is covered in cupcakes. She has her plastic carrying trays and she's loading each one, treating each cupcake as carefully as if it is glass and Jack supposes they're pretty close to being that.

  "Whoa," he can't help but say. He's pretty sure he's never seen so many cupcakes at once.

  "Hi," she gives him a small smile. "You don't mind helping, do you?"

  "What do you need?" He immediately asks. No, he doesn't mind helping. He's pretty sure he'll help her with anything she needs but he doesn't tell her that.

  "Once I finish packing these, help me carry all of them to the car?" She asks and she seems hesitant to ask him but he just nods his head.

  "Who the hell 'round here is eatin' this many cupcakes?" He can't help but ask.

  She laughs softly and even though he likes hearing her laugh, it still bothers him a little.

  Everything is so quiet about her nowadays. Her smiles. Her laughs. It bothers him more than he'll ever admit out loud. And he knows it's all because of the scar on her cheek. He wants to tell her she's more than some scar but he can't say that. What the hell does he know about it? His back is covered in scars and he's let them shape his entire life and he knows it. He has no business giving any advice to anyone on how to live their life.

  "It's for a bridal shower this afternoon," she explains and then laughs again when he just stares at her. "It's a party a woman has before they're married. For the women in the family and for friends and she gets a bunch of gifts she and her fiance have registered for."

  Jack just keeps staring at her because hell, he doesn't know about stuff like that. No reason for him to ever know about stuff like that. It sounds like something no one in his family has ever had and he's not friends with that many women who would have something like that.

  He imagines Daisy would have a bridal shower though. A bunch of women coming to celebrate with her about getting married and probably eating those little stupid sandwiches that a person needs to eat at least ten of to feel full and cupcakes.

  And then that thought naturally leads to into him wondering whether Daisy will get married. He imagines so. Daisy is the kind of girl a guy marries and marries quite willingly. She's the kind of girl a guy marries and proudly shows off and buys a house and builds a white picket fence and the whole nine yards.

  Jack's never liked fences.

  …

  Cletus's case is fast-tracked through the system because there's no reason to delay it. It's probably one of the easiest cases the judge and prosecutor have had all year. Jack's pretty sure Cletus's public defender never lifts his head from the pad of paper he's writing on.

  Cletus is sentenced to ten years and the judge finalizes it with a smack of his gavel, the loud bang echoing in Jack's ears. He's quick to do the math. Hell, Cletus will be damn near sixty if he serves the full ten by the time he gets out again.

  But Cletus stands up and turns to look at Jack and he's grinning. His damn stupid brother is grinning as if he's going off on some vacation to a tropical island instead of maximum prison for the next ten years of his life.

  The guard puts a hand around Cletus's arm and begins to guide him away and Jack doesn't know what to say because even though he's been here before and has seen this happen to Cletus before, he still doesn't know what to say. Is there really anything he can say about it?

  "I'll come see you soon," Jack is finally able to say just before Cletus is led through the door on the side of the courtroom that will take him back to the jail.

  Cletus nods. "I know you will," he says and then he's gone and Jack's all alone again.

  Story of his life, he supposes.

  …

  After getting back from Atlanta that evening, he goes to his usual bar and Joe doesn't ask how it went that day. Joe's an old friend of Cletus's – and of Jack's, too, he guesses even though he would never call Joe outright a friend – and Joe knows how Cletus is.

  Jack sits down on one of the stools at the bar and without a word, Joe hands him a beer.

  "On the house," he tells him before heading off to serve another customer.

  Jack sits there and doesn't even taste the beer as he swallows the bottle down. Around him, there are people laughing and talking and playing pool and someone is playing a Johnny Cash song over the jukebox. Folsom Prison Blues. Jack smirks around the bottle.

  He feels someone sit on the stool next to him and turning to see that it's Carolina, he does his best to keep from sighing heavily.

  "You could have just ended it yourself, you know," she tells him bluntly.

  This is the last conversation Jack wants to have today – or ever – but he knows it would have had to happen eventually. Carolina's the kind of girl who would want to talk about it.

  He wasn't even dating Carolina but he's still stuck having this conversation.

  He shrugs and takes a swig of beer from the bottle. "In my head, wasn' anythin' to end."

  And it's a dick thing to say but it's the truth – at least to him. He can't figure Carolina out. He never gave her a promise or commitment of any kind. They were just hooking up. Does she really think they were anything more than that?

  He considers himself lucky when she doesn't smash her glass over his head.

  Carolina signals to Joe and Joe comes, pouring her another glass of vodka – her drink of choice. The problem with Carolina is she's too familiar to him. He's known girls like her all of his life. Young and good-looking girls sitting in bars and drinking too much and eventually, they won't be so young and good-looking anymore. He's just tired of girls like her.

  "I guess it isn't that big of a surprise," Carolina then comments and Jack looks at her again because that's not how she was just acting. She then shrugs. "I guess I've always been able to tell – if I ever wanted to admit it to myself."

  "Admit what?" He asks, his brow furrowed and his lips turned down in a frown.

  Carolina smiles a little though it's a bitter one. "The way you look at her, guess anyone can see it if they're looking."

  But she doesn't say anything more than that and Jack still doesn't know that the hell – or even who – she's talking about.

  …

  When he gets back to his apartment, it's almost ten o'clock and there's a post-it on his door. A familiar shade of yellow post-it inviting him to dinner.

  He sighs heavily. He shouldn't have gone to the bar but after watching Cletus lose another few years of his life to the state – a pretty damn normal occurrence for Cletus Belton – Jack had felt like he had needed a drink more than anything. But now that he knows he's missed a dinner with Daisy and Matty, his stomach grumbles and he wishes it isn't so late.

  He crumbles the post-it in his hand and unlocks his apartment door, stepping into the dark room. He almost immediately feels Morris rubbing himself against his legs. Cat must be out of food. He wonders if he should give a key to Daisy and Matty and ask them to look in on the cat when he's working late or he has to go to visit his brother at whatever prison he's at.

  It's not a bad idea and Morris likes them and Matty pretty much adores the cat.

  In the kitchen, he pours more food into Morris' empty bowl and gets him some fresh water, too, and he tosses the post-it into the trash and then opens the refrigerator to see if there's anything to eat. There's not and he needs to go grocery shopping. He's been so concerned, making sure Daisy and Matty have food in their place, he's forgotten all about himself.

  …

  "Wanna go to lunch?" Martinez asks him, coming into his bay, and Jack nods his head, slamming the hood shut on the car that he has spent his morning working on.

  They go to the diner like they usually do and even though he just had McDonald's last night for a very late dinner, Jack orders another burger. He's weird and he likes his burgers slightly burnt and the grill cook at the diner this time of day seems to also char the burgers.

  Martinez is talking about his wife and kids – th
ey're bugging him to take them on a vacation before the summer ends and the school year starts up again – and Jack's listening but then the diner door opens with the bell having overhead letting out a tingle and he lifts his eyes out of natural reaction to see who it is and when he does see who it is, he goes still.

  He watches as Daisy walks to the counter to speak with one of the waitresses who nods at whatever Daisy says and goes away to do whatever she's just talked with her about. Daisy then turns her head, scanning her eyes around the diner and she then sees Jack. She looks at him and he looks at her and she gives him a small smile but doesn't approach him. He knows that she won't.

  Even after he told her that he doesn't feel sorry for her, she's still been keeping a distance from him. And he knows that it's his fault. He's jerked her around too many times and she keeps waiting for him to bolt again. Hopefully, eventually, she's realize that he's not planning on going anywhere.

  "Mind if a friend of mine joins us? She just walked in," Jack asks, looking back to Martinez.

  Martinez turns and sees Daisy at the counter and he grins. Without waiting for Jack to invite her, Martinez begins waving her over and Daisy hesitates another moment before leaving the counter and coming their way.

  "Hey, gorgeous. I'm Cesar, Jack's boss," Martinez introduces himself and thrusts his hand out. Daisy smiles a little and shakes his hand.

  "I'm Daisy, Jack's neighbor," she says as Jack pushes the chair between him and Martinez out from the table, signaling for Daisy to sit down.

  She does and their waitress comes back, asking if Daisy wants anything to drink or eat. She orders a glass of Coke.

  "You don't want anything to eat?" Martinez asks. "My treat."

  Daisy smiles and shakes her head. "I actually ate lunch before I came. I have a meeting here."

  "Yeah?" Jack finally speaks, eating one of his French fries, pushing the basket a little closer to her in case she wants one.

  "The owner, Dale, asked me to come in. I'm not sure why," Daisy says. "I dropped Matty off at the farm before coming. I'm have no idea how long this will take." The waitress returns with her Coke and Daisy tears the paper wrapping away from the straw. "How are you two?" She then asks and even though they've never met until that day, Martinez begins talking with her about his family and possible vacation spots and he asks her for her opinion.