The Queen and the Nobody Boy

by Barbara Else

  Hodie bowed his head into his hands. All he could think was that his father the lord might have been brave, but he definitely could not have been all that clever.

  “My darling …” His mother stopped as if she wanted to taste that word. “Hodie,” she continued, “I have missed you every day with all my heart.”

  He had to look up. Her face was so strained, her eyes full of distress. All this was because of the bag that had been lying under his bed for about nine years? He didn’t want to have been that close to anything magic. But no – even if magic was real, surely it would seep away, just as water evaporated and biscuits grew stale. Then he remembered Lu’nedda’s false moustache, in the bag for only an hour. Could magic seep into things nearby? Perhaps the moustache really had transformed into a rodent. Hodie’s heart juddered.

  His mother put a soft hand on his again. “If you see Dardy at the Zoo, please do not speak to him. But Hodie, whatever happens, wherever The Ties are, they must go to King Jasper and his sister the little Queen. The Ties, and what they mean to magic, are more important than –” her voice choked – “than my son …” She hunched over as if an overwhelming pain had stricken her.

  The cycle-chair bumped to a stop. Prow-wow wow! sang the dwarf. “End of journey. Extra charge for having to sing hit tune.”

  Ahead was the entrance to a cavern, where a notice said: Grand Zoological Park of the Great Prowdd’on. Creatures large and small. Praise and admire.

  Underneath was a notice saying: Magnificent New Attraction Opening Now.

  ~

  24

  where and how to hide

  in the Grand Zoo

  Hodie’s brain juddered just like his heart. His mother was tangled up in huge secrets about Fontania and magic, and that was why his family had been torn apart. How could she! And Dardy was not his father? How dare Dardy fool him about that!

  “Come on,” said his mother (the dwarf was looking very pleased with what she’d paid him). “Climb out. Look normal. Blend in.”

  Allana sounded very much like a normal mother. But Hodie doubted he could pretend to be normal when he had so much to think about. Though, actually, he was the son of the best friend of the Princessa. Actually again, when you wore such excellent boots you should try a swagger. He experimented, but found it hard to walk at all as well as think.

  “Act normally, I said!” his mother hissed. She’d got over her terrible grief, although perhaps she was simply a good actor.

  The Zoo had notices at every corner as well as between them. Thanks to Great Prowdd’on for imperial generosity in providing very large facility and huge public garden to people of Um’Binnia. Praise and admire. All of them had the sign of a sunburst and a purple crown.

  “That’s stupid. There’s no sun inside this city,” muttered Hodie.

  “It’s the sign of the Emperor,” said his mother in a flat tone. “He thought it up himself. It shows how wonderful he is, how regal and dazzling.” The side of her mouth twitched, as if she would laugh if she were allowed.

  Maybe he could quite like her, if things were different. Maybe most mothers could be difficult to figure out.

  Hodie tried another small swagger. Allana frowned. She stayed close by him as they walked on into the Zoo behind Lu’nedda, Murgott (squirrel peering through the buttons of his cloak) and Sibilla, who kicked at things like a very normal boy. She was certainly a good actor. Hodie decided not to kick things in case it ruined his new brown boots.

  Knots of people dressed in hats and gloves, tight trousers and pointy toe shoes (men), or long tight skirts and frilly dresses (women) lingered near the sunburst notices. When anyone passed, they said loudly how impressed they were by Emperor Prowdd’on, and how they were looking forward to the great unveiling. More quietly, they mumbled about how tough times were, how hard it had become to make a dollero. They didn’t seem at all interested in the few pot plants dotted about, yellow and limp (these were the great public gardens?). They didn’t seem the least interested in the nearby cages of striped lions and spotted bears.

  The animals seemed well treated, if being in a cage at all was any good. Which sometimes it might be, if the animal would be hurt out in the open, or needed treatment of some sort. Hodie remembered the elephant at the Grand Palace. His father – he meant Dardy – used to coax it to lie down to have its teeth cleaned. Dardy had explained that, in an elephant, new teeth grew at the back then moved gradually along till they reached the front. By then they were all worn down and fell out. It seemed a sensible idea. The elephant had loved Dardy. The chickens had liked him too. So had the horses, the dogs, the Grand Palace cats, the pair of squirrels … a homesick sob leapt into Hodie’s throat, but he made it sound like a normal cough.

  He was very conscious of the bag back in that cupboard. If he simply told the Emperor about it, would Prowdd’on set his mother and Sibilla – and Dardy – free? No – when Prowdd’on saw the rubbish in the bag, they’d be in worse trouble. It looked to Hodie as if Dardy might be the only one to know where the real Ties were hidden. After all, in a single glance his mother would have seen that the bag didn’t hold any ropes or dragon-eagle harness. But – what if the actual Ties were not gold ropes or harness? The rubbish in the bag might really be The Ties.

  An awful thought made Hodie stop walking. He had been closest to the stuff for nearly ten years. He’d travelled with it across the Stones of Beyond when he was little, then the bag had been kept under his bed. If magic seeped out… No. It was only royal children who were supposed to develop magical ability. Hodie didn’t believe in magic anyway. All he had to worry about was finding out exactly what the stuff was. Perhaps The Ties were in the bag but invisible – but that would mean magic was real – but then, that moustache …

  It was far too tricky to think about right now.

  Hodie walked on in the new brown boots. It couldn’t hurt to have another day or so being the son of the best friend of the Princessa – son of Lady Allana and the inventor of wind-travel, Lord Fer’nan of Um’Binnia.

  ~

  Back at the main gate, a half-hearted cheer rose up. A group of school children, with teachers and parent helpers, had lined up either side of the big entrance. They didn’t look at all excited. They didn’t even stare about like children usually did (Fontanian children at any rate). They just waited, glum, holding folded purple and gold flags in their hands.

  They cheered again, quarter-hearted. Lu’nedda tugged her collar over her chin. Allana pulled Hodie into shadow along with Murgott and Sibilla. By now the squirrel was half hidden beneath Sibilla’s cloak – she looked like a boy with a fake tatty tail.

  A trumpet sounded a long echoing note that hurt Hodie’s ears. A troop of soldiers marched in, bayonets on their rifles. Why? Because the Emperor thought he was in danger? From the rebels? Clearly the Emperor didn’t know his own daughter was the chief rebel – though was that mostly to make her father upset that she’d been kidnapped? Honestly, thought Hodie, why try to please a dad like Prowdd’on?

  The lights became a blinding dazzle. In rolled a mechanical carriage. A driver and Commander Gree’sle sat in the front. In a high back seat like a throne sat the Great Prowdd’on. Today his moustache was waxed into three twirly circles on each side. He wore a purple hat, and waved big purple gloves in a gracious manner. The teachers prodded the children. The children unfolded their flags, dangled them and began a ragged sort of chant: “Thank you, Great Prowdd’on! Thanks for this exciting public facility.”

  The chant didn’t sound at all excited, and some of the children found it hard to say facility (not to mention it being awfully spitty). But Prowdd’on waved and smiled wider. The trumpet played a phrase from the latest hit, Prow-wow-wow.

  The Princessa clenched her jaw and scowled at Gree’sle.

  “Drive on!” cried the Great Prowdd’on. The carriage motored into the Zoo. Everyone trailed along in t
he dreadful smell from its back end. Hodie gave a long real cough. The children’s flags and banners drooped to the ground. The teachers scolded them. Some held the banners higher for a moment (but not many).

  Allana touched the Princessa’s arm, stood on tiptoe and murmured, “This is a bad idea, Lu’nedda. Your father’s busy.”

  “You would think he had more concern for missing daughter.” Lu’nedda sounded just like Ogg’ward. “Maybe he pretends while his heart breaks.” She found a handkerchief and blew her nose (a-hriiiiiff, a-hriiiiff).

  Hodie didn’t let on that he’d heard what she said, or the angry nose-blowing. The little Queen scooped up the squirrel, gave it to Murgott and took a step after the school children.

  “Stay here,” rumbled Murgott.

  Sibilla shook her head. “Murgott, please stay out of sight.” Her voice trembled but something steely came into it as she continued. “The Commander might recognise you. I want to see this for myself. I think I know what it must be. Hodie …” She grabbed his hand. “Please behave like a big brother for another few minutes.”

  He didn’t want to, but what could he do? Sibilla’s hand was sweaty. His probably was too.

  They hurried along in as many shadows as they could find. One of the children’s flags had dropped off its stick. Hodie picked it up. If someone realised there were two extra boys, it might help their disguise.

  Almost running now, Hodie and the Queen entered a cavern with cages full of small ugly animals (dark blue part-bald rats, and a miniature rhinoceros with horns on its shoulders as well as its nose), a cavern with large ugly animals (hippo-geese, too awful to look at. How could anyone find words to describe their horny orange webbed feet as big as drain covers, and their beaks with yellowy teeth like cracked tent pegs?).

  Hodie stopped and held Sibilla’s hand tight so she had to stop too. At the far end of this cavern waited the carriage. Prowdd’on was standing up in it. Behind him a heavy purple curtain draped from the cave ceiling to the floor. In front of him waited the school children and all the men and women in fancy best clothes. Commander Gree’sle held a little mirror for the Emperor. Prowdd’on patted his circly moustache.

  At last Prowdd’on turned to the crowd. His voice boomed out. “I have taken most precious creature of Fontania. Today, in this cage –” trumpets sounded long and loud – “huge dragon-eagle!” He tipped his head, smiling, and folded his hands on his purple waistcoat.

  Beside Hodie, Sibilla gave a shivering sigh. Her cap began to lift on her royal hair.

  Commander Gree’sle cheered and clapped. The men and women cheered too, checking sideways to make sure everyone saw them.

  “Oh, yay,” said the children, dull and plodding. “Yay, yay.” They flicked their flags a little bit.

  The teachers yelled loudly. “Wonderful Prowdd’on of Um’Binnia! Great Emperor!”

  Prowdd’on held up his hands for silence. His smile looked more self-satisfied each moment. “Very expensive cage. Soon you will see. Biggest bars. Biggest lock on door. Golden drinking bowl. I have done this for Um’Binnia. I have captured dragon-eagle!”

  “He hardly did it himself,” muttered Hodie. “I bet he made his soldiers do it.” He kept an eye on Sibilla’s cap.

  Prowdd’on reached and tugged a golden cord. The curtains opened on a cage that rose to the cavern roof. The Emperor’s sun signs glinted at the top and bottom of every bar. One fake tree glimmered like gold. There was a drinking bowl, also obviously fake gold.

  Huddled on the floor behind the tree was a curve of something silver, a dull green glow, the slow breathing of something huge and beautiful, something in pain and despair.

  “The young dragon-eagle!” Prowdd’on cried. “Department of Science will search out its secrets. I have done this for all children of Um’Binnia.”

  The school children actually looked worried, as if they’d rather go and lie down in a quiet room.

  Hodie was afraid that Sibilla might faint again like she had in the wind-garage. But for a moment she seemed taller – regal and determined. What if she came into her magic right now? With mingled excitement and fear, for a shred of a moment Hodie believed it was possible … then she pressed her hand on her cap, and was just a scared girl disguised as a boy who didn’t know what on earth she ought to do. Hodie had never seen her look so ordinary. He couldn’t bear to keep looking either at the Queen or the dragon-eagle. He wanted to cry.

  He turned aside to brush his eyes and caught a movement at the back of the crowd. An ogre had just come from behind another cage, and was holding a chain around the waist of a man in overalls and workman’s cap. A Zoo-worker in chains? The ogre and the man watched Prowdd’on for a moment, then the ogre grunted, gave the chain a little tug and they turned to shuffle back into the shadows. For one moment, the man’s face was in the light. Hodie’s heart jolted. It was Dardy.

  ~

  Hodie hugged himself beneath his cloak and stepped back from the little Queen’s side. She was still staring at the dragon-eagle, and didn’t notice. Hodie ducked after Dardy and the ogre.

  He expected there to be a narrow stinky space with doors into the cages for easy feeding of the animals. He expected to trip over a broom and a shovel, a sack of toad pellets, that sort of thing. For seven leaps and seven strides, it was exactly as he expected. Then the narrow way split into two.

  There was no breeze to help him, but a thread of air sifted past and Hodie pelted down the darkest way. A glimmer of moisture on the tunnel wall, a faint spark of glow-worm, another thread of air so faint it might have been silk spun by a spider – now he was in total darkness. He skidded to a stop, slowly tipped his head this way and that, even the skin of his face waiting for a thread, a sign, a scent.

  The smell of ogre was bitter. So was the reek of captured creatures. The air moved the slightest amount, and he knew someone turned a head in his direction. In Hodie’s heart a wind began to blow, as if it hurled chimney pots around in scuds of excitement. He didn’t move. He waited for the air in the cavern to shift again. And though Dardy moved so silently there was not the faintest sound, Hodie reached out his arms, and Dardy’s arms reached out too and folded him tight.

  They pulled apart a little. “I hate you!” Hodie breathed. “You should have told me you weren’t my father.”

  “I didn’t want to see you here,” Dardy whispered.

  “Actually it’s so dark we can’t see anything.” Hodie gripped Dardy’s arms tight.

  “True,” Dardy said, “but I know it’s you. Hodie, Um’Binnian spies grabbed me at the market. I’d sworn never to leave you. But I wish you hadn’t come here. This is no place for you, my boy.”

  “I’ve done everything wrong, haven’t I?” Hodie’s voice shuddered. “My mother said I mustn’t talk to you.”

  Dardy folded him into another hug. “She’s right. You shouldn’t talk to me at all. Oh, Hodie, what a terrible mess. The number of times I nearly told Lady Helen and the King what had happened to Lady Allana … but if I had spoken, Gree’sle and Prowdd’on would have learned sooner or later. It would have put Lady Allana in terrible danger. So I waited. And waited. I obeyed her last cry to me – ‘Do not give the bag to anyone! Look after my child!’ I knew the bag held something precious, but had no idea what or how those bits and pieces could be important. If only I’d realised the bag held The Ties, I would have – at least, I should have – gone to Lady Helen in a flash.” Dardy smothered a cough.

  Something moved. There was a chink of metal and the bitter scent of ogre in the gloom. “Dardy,” said the ogre, low as the wind far off beyond the mountain. “Move on. Too risky to hang about.”

  “Wait,” said Hodie. “What would happen if … if I had that bag you left behind?”

  Dardy gave a sharp intake of breath, then coughed again. For a moment there was silence. “Now that I know what the bag contains, all I can say is that it must
be put into the hands of Lady Helen or King Jasper very quickly.”

  “What about the little Queen’s hands?” Hodie asked.

  “Oh, no. Not unless she has definitely come into her magic,” Dardy said. “If she failed, it would be the end of magic. That is too big a load for a child to bear. It would be terrible for her and everyone in every country. All this pain would be for nothing.”

  Dardy gave Hodie another quick hug, gripped his arms for a moment, then stepped back and disappeared into the dark.

  ~

  25

  what not to

  blow your nose on

  Hodie felt his way back through the narrow tunnel. He tripped over the sacks of animal feed but a breeze of joy still ran through his heart. Dardy – the man who had been his father for so long – was alive. Hodie had also met his mother and found she hadn’t left him (well, she sort-of had but it was very complicated) and that she loved him.

  At the same time he felt worse than before. Dardy was a prisoner who had to tend the Toads and was led about on a chain by an ogre. He didn’t seem well. And Hodie’s mother was the friend of the Princessa. Both Dardy and his mother believed everything depended on The Ties and King Jasper and Queen Sibilla. They believed magic was so important that to save it you should tear families apart.

  He sidled out between the cages to the main part of Zoo where lamps burned on the walls. He was a bit lost. An Ocean Toad as big as a cart hopped to the front of a cage of thick glass. Slime dribbled from the corner of its mouth and, even through the glass, there came a stench like rotten onion. Hodie edged by, keeping in shadow, and found the cavern where the crowd stared in silence at the dragon-eagle, and Prowdd’on stood proudly.

  Hodie’s leg ached. His eyes could do with a wipe. His nose needed blowing. He sat down on a ledge and fished in his pocket. He pulled out a silky crumple – oh, right, the purple flag. Hodie put it to his nose and had a good honk.