“I’ll be right out.”
“Are you planning on chasing her through Manhattan?” Lila asked.
“If I have to.”
“If you scare her off, she’ll run again,” Lila continued. “You have to find a way to communicate with her that she’ll understand. If she’s high, yelling at her isn’t going to do anything. You need to be there for her when she’s coming down from the high. That way she’ll be able to hear you.”
I didn’t care.
I was already heading out of the party.
I looked around for my driver Raul. It wasn’t a good day to be without my own fucking car. I left the restaurant and walked to the first corner block, looking for the limo. Instead of locating the black town limo, I noticed Raul jogging my way. His stocky body was a clear sign that running wasn’t his strong suit. He held his hand over his driver hat as he ran towards me.
“Mr. Rhodes!” he shouted. His face was drenched in sweat as he heaved. Leaning forward, he grabbed his knees, gasping for breath. “She … Ms. Wolf …”
“What?” I said and placed my hand on his back. “Where’s the car?”
“Ms. Wolf …” he began speaking again to only stop short.
“What about her, Raul? Did you see where she went?” I asked. He nodded vigorously. “Where is she?” I straightened, looking behind him, looking for any trace of her.
“She ran out of the party with tears in her eyes. I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have followed her, but I figured you’d want to know.” His breath seemed to regulate slowly. “I followed her. She’s five blocks past the Brooklyn Bridge at the Holiday Inn.”
“You ran after her?”
“Yes, sir, by the time I got to the car I wouldn’t have been able to follow her.”
Tapping Raul on his back, I ran forward searching for her. I weaved through the busy streets of Manhattan, crossing streets as cars headed in my direction, but I couldn’t stop. I wanted to assure myself that she was going to be okay. That in the event she began to overdose, I would be there to help her. And most of all, I needed to find her so I could make sure she never left my side again.
I pushed against the revolving door of the Holiday Inn and walked straight to Guest Services. “Hi, thank you for choosing the Holiday Inn. How may I help you today?” the receptionist greeted me.
“I’m looking for Katherine Wolf. Has she checked in?” I said breathlessly.
“I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, I can’t give you that information. We have a strict policy against the disclosure of guest information. I can only assist you if you have her room number.”
“Thank you.”
There was no point in arguing. Unlike any of the hotels I had been to on my way over here, this one had a busy lounge area. A soft jazz band played, and a ruckus of voices poured out of the large room. The jazz band finished their song, and with the noise minimized, I found the only opportunity I had to call her, hoping that her phone wasn’t on silent. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number.
I spotted her on the second ring, her lips wrapped around a martini glass as she tipped it back, ignoring her phone. Two men sat on either side of her. One watched her carefully as the other’s hand slid under her dress. She didn’t stop him. Instead, she slammed down her martini glass and put the olives in her mouth. Appalled, I stood watching. She had left me no longer than thirty minutes ago with enough powder in her nose that I thought I’d find her passed out on the side of the road. Instead, she was here tossing back more liquor while two men fondled her.
Once she finished her drink, she stood and grabbed her purse from the bar top. The men didn’t hesitate. As one paid her tab, the other snaked his arm around her shoulder. She pulled away from him, her face angry as she spoke. He tossed his hands in the air in an attempt to apologize, and I watched as they continued moving towards the elevator. Katherine pressed the button and looked up to see which floor the elevator was on. She stumbled back and forth. She had to be pretty fucked up. The second the two assholes high-fived each other at her lack of stability, I lost all control. I assumed they were planning on tag teaming her limp, intoxicated body, and there was no chance in hell that I was letting that happen.
Not now, not ever.
I walked over to the first guy. He was shorter than me by an easy six inches. Without any hesitation, I tapped him on his shoulder. The rage that had built up inside of me had come out to play. Once he turned towards me, my fist collided with his face. I hit him dead across the jaw, making him fall back into his friend’s arms. My hand tingled from the impact, but it felt great.
“What the fuck, dude?” the second asshole asked. My fist clenched at my side, I pulled back and hit him before he had a chance to ask another question. I felt the hard bone of his cheek meet my fist before it cracked under the force of my blow.
Katherine turned towards the commotion, her eyes heavy as she stumbled backward, holding the closed steel doors behind her. These clowns had planned to take full advantage of her, and she was barely coherent.
I saw red as I spoke, my voice loud as it came through my gritted teeth. “Either of you ever fucking come near her again, I’ll fucking kill you. You hear me? I’ll. Kill. You.”
“Cole––” she spoke softly.
The elevator doors slid open, and a flow of people rushed out. “Get in,” I ordered. My hand found her elbow, pushing her towards the empty cart. All that mattered was Katherine and her safety. “Are you okay?” I asked once the elevator doors closed. My hands framed her face as tears began to stream down her cheeks.
With her eyes closed, she shook her head. “How did you find me?” It was the last thing she asked before she broke down crying in my arms, her wails so painful it tightened the ache around my heart.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m here, Katherine, and there’s nothing you can say or do that would make me leave you. You can say I don’t chase women, but I’ll always chase after you.”
I pulled her into my chest, holding her in place as she sobbed. Each cry tore through me like a flesh wound. It was her cry for help.
14
Katherine
It’s said that there’s a point in every addict’s life when they hit rock bottom. I didn’t know if I would ever come back …
Until the night Cole found me.
Lila’s engagement party had destroyed me. I wanted to be ecstatic for my best friend. I wanted to share every moment with her as she embarked on this journey, but I didn’t know how. Happiness and joyfulness had vanished from my life, replaced with agony and sorrow. It wasn’t until Caleb’s toast that I wanted nothing more than to disappear from the world all together.
No.
It wasn’t until Cole followed me into the bathroom. I couldn’t meet his eyes, and I couldn’t hide from him. He should have been disgusted. He should have walked back out and never spoken to me again. But instead, he’d offered to help. What would make him want to help someone like me?
Call me a sadist, but the pain that flashed through his eyes when I asked him to fuck me satisfied me. How his eyes changed from the golden sun that I had grown to love to a dark brown. I wanted him to feel how I felt. I left that party with one simple intention, to forget him. Forget who I was. I ran out without a single goodbye, and I ran until my feet hurt. After I’d crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, I found the first hotel and checked myself in. I didn’t have a plan for tomorrow. All I wanted was to be numb—even if it would cost me my life.
I found the first two losers who were willing to pay my bar tab and take me upstairs. If I was hitting rock bottom, I might as well go out with a bang.
I was barely coherent when I heard him. Stumbling back, I watched as he hit the second guy before pushing me into the elevator. The combination of alcohol, drugs, and sex has always worked for me. Always helped me to not feel, to get out of my own brain. But when he was around me, nothing I tried could make the pain in my chest disappear.
He had been angry when we were outside the
elevator. His eyebrows furrowed, fists clenched at his side, his breathing irregular. But inside the elevator, his hands cupped my cheeks as his eyes looked deep into mine. “Are you okay?” he asked, but I was rendered speechless. Tears poured down my face. I shook my head to answer him. I wasn’t okay. I didn’t think I would ever be okay. I didn’t care if I lived or died in the hotel, but when he held me close to him, I wanted to live so I could be with him.
“How did you find me?”
“It doesn’t matter, I’m here now, Katherine, and there is nothing you can say or do that would make me leave you. I’ll always chase after you.” He pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. All I could do was cry.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Cole whispered, but the screeching pain in my chest was all too much to bear. My knees gave out from under me, and I felt his arms wrap around me, cradling me like a child. “Katherine, what floor are you on?” he asked, his voice so low it was barely a whisper. My eyes remained shut as I lifted my hand up for him. My room key was wrapped around my fingers.
I felt Cole move to press the floor number, then he backed into a corner and held me tighter. His lips pressed on top of my head as we rose to my floor. My arms wrapped around his neck, and like a child I sobbed, letting all my pain and suffering leave my heart. The weight of the world fell off my back.
My eyes remained shut as Cole carried me from the elevator and down the long hallway until we reached my room. His hands fumbled under my knee with the key, but he managed to open the door without putting me down.
He didn’t turn the lights on. Instead, he strolled over to the bed, sitting gently and holding me against him. At first, he seemed hesitant to let me go when I tried to move from his embrace, but once he realized all I wanted to do was wrap my legs around him, he let me. My arms stayed glued to his neck, my head buried in his chest and my legs wrapped around him in a vice grip. I finally let go completely.
I let go, avoiding the numbness that I craved. I cried, letting go of the unknown, the control I needed, and the wall I had built to block out my feelings. I let myself feel.
Cole held me tightly, his hands rubbing up and down my back to calm me.
“It’s okay, Katherine … I’m here now. I’ll take care of you.”
His words brought more tears. I’d thought there was a limit to how many tears a body could produce—thought I’d capped out a while ago—yet they still kept coming.
I was lost in the world, broken by what had happened to me, but in his arms, all seemed irrelevant. I felt secure, protected and loved. Those were emotions I had run from, blocked from my mind. But I didn’t want them to disappear.
Not now. Not when I needed them most.
I read once that your body will eventually cry itself into exhaustion, force you to sleep so it can recuperate. I didn’t move; my tears slowly stopped, my eyelids grew heavier, and a peaceful drowsiness hovered over me. Finally succumbing to it, I fell asleep in Cole’s arms, sitting on the bed of the hotel room I had planned to use to forget him.
I woke up hours later, my back throbbing from sitting for so long. I slowly opened my eyes, sniffling back my stuffy nose. It was the first time I’d looked around the room. It had a standard king-sized bed with a nightstand on either side, a television on top of a small dresser and an upholstered chair in the corner. When Cole found me it was bright out, the sun still shining. It was dark now, and through the drawn curtains I could see the starry night outside.
Cole still held me where I had fallen to sleep last night. He’d remained in the same position, holding me close to him. I inhaled deeply and swallowed back the courage to look at him. I lifted my head from his chest, but I couldn’t look up, my focus remaining on his perfectly shaped lips.
His lips met my forehead. “Hi,” he whispered.
I could only shake my head. The painkillers and alcohol had worn off, and I needed them to face him. “I can’t look at you,” I finally admitted.
His hand released my back and moved under my chin. I fought him at first, but eventually, I gave in. My lips trembled when I tried to speak. Cole’s hand moved from under my chin and cupped my face. It seemed like it was the first time I was seeing him, without drugs to cloud my mind.
“Katherine–– ”
“Don’t.” It was hard enough to look at him. Having him call my name made my heart ache.
“You had me worried.” He brushed my hair back, his lips finding my forehead once again.
“I’m okay.”
“You know you’re not.” He looked deep into my eyes, sorrow clouding his golden hue.
Shrugging, I swallowed the knot in my throat. “I’ll be fine. Nothing a little pill won’t fix.” It was only matter of time before my body craved it again.
“Please don’t use again.”
“I need them.” It was the only way I could survive.
“Why?”
“Because I need to not feel. I need to get away from my mind.” I pushed off his lap. The lack of food in my system made me dizzy. I walked to the dresser and held on, waiting for it to pass.
Cole’s hands enveloped my waist, turning me towards him. “Let me help you,” he said, his hand returning to my face. I looked at the man standing in front of me. How could I deny him anything? He owned my heart. The past few months I had been running not only from my shattered life but also from my broken heart.
His proximity made my breath halt. He was only centimeters from my lips. “Let me in, Kat. You did once before. You can do it again.”
With no other thought, I let his words wrap around my soul. I finally let go and let my heart feel again. I lifted onto my tippy toes and met his stare. Throwing caution to the wind, I let him take me. His lips met mine. It felt like an eternity since I’d felt them on me. My arms wrapped around his neck as I pulled him closer to me. Our lips parted, and our tongues began their tantalizing dance. Cole wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me off my feet. I molded perfectly to his body.
He pulled away from me, breathless. The shine in his golden eyes had returned. “I love—”
“Don’t, Cole.”
I knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth. I’d felt them. Experienced them. But I couldn’t bear to hear them. I was a glutton for punishment. His words could heal me; his touch could save me. But I wasn’t sure at this moment that I wanted to be saved.
I wasn’t ready to let go of the numbness.
15
Cole
Pain flashed through her eyes. She needed sex, but I needed her, the woman who clouded my mind. I’d held her for hours as she cried in my arms, eventually falling asleep.
Each sob …
Each exhale …
Each shiver.
I pulled her closer to me, my hands sliding up her back. She said it couldn’t be about love, but I was going to show her otherwise. I draped one hand around the nape of her neck, pulling on her hair, my mouth locating her exposed neck. I’d missed the way she tasted, the way she smelled. Goose bumps rose on her fair skin, letting me know she was affected by me. I wanted her to feel every part of this. I wanted to show her what it had always been between us.
The dress she wore was hindering my ability to feel her soft skin. My hands trailed up her body, locating the zipper of her dress. I felt her soft skin beneath my fingertips, but it wasn’t like before. The curves that had driven me wild had vanished. I could feel each vertebra, and her shoulder blades poked out of her body.
With her clothing on the ground, she kicked off her shoes and pushed her mouth back up to mine, her hands wrapping around my tie. Lips fused, tongues gnashing, she fumbled with the knot and finally tugged it off while I tore the buttons on my shirt. Once my tie was across the room, her hands were on the button of my pants. Her hungry lips kissed my chest, biting and licking my nipples in the process. She wasn’t holding back.
“Kat.” I pulled her away from me, my hands holding her
shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere, doll. There’s no need to rush.”
“But I need it.”
“I know, and I’m going to give you exactly what you need.” My hand cupped her face, my thumb tracing her plump lips. “Right now I’ll give you what you want, and tomorrow we’ll get you help.”
She nodded.
“Get on the bed.”
She turned and climbed on the bed. My cock hardened in my boxers, knowing I would soon be buried deep inside of her. Kicking my shoes and socks off, I walked towards the bed. My fingers coiled around her ankles, and I pulled her towards me. She was beautiful. A broken soul I planned to fix. I would take her pain and make it my own. I would find it in me to heal all of her wounds. I would be her drug.
I undid her dress and slid it down her body. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered as I kissed her thighs. Her white lace thong joined the pile beside the bed, and I kissed her pelvic bone.
“Are we going to fuck or are you going to sit there and talk the whole goddamn time?” A sexy grin appeared on her face.
God, I fucking love her mouth.
I moved to sit between her thighs, my cock hard inside my boxers. My hand reached for her nipple. I couldn’t stay away from her breasts. I slid my hand down her stomach, tracing the edge of her navel before sliding my fingers along her core. Her breath came out in deep spurts as she watched my hand and her skin ignited under my touch. We both felt it.
Her arousal coated my fingers, and I knew she was hot and ready for me. My thumb grazed her clit. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes,” she moaned and tossed her head back. “Please.”
Showing her how much I loved her was going to be hard when all I craved at this moment was fucking her until she squirmed, making her repeatedly come until her body shook, her pussy sore and aching with desire. I wanted to taste her, devour her, and shove my cock so deep inside of her that it would leave a mark. I didn’t want to take my time. I wanted to bend her over and fuck her seven ways till Sunday.
Redemption (Savior Seires Book 2) Page 8