In the Heart of Forever

by Jo-Anna Walker

  “Hello Jesse.”

  Rave.

  I closed my eyes as his smooth deep voice washed over me. My fingers tingled, wanting to run them through his soft shaggy black hair. “Hi.” A lump formed in my throat. I missed him so much already and it had only been a couple of hours since I had seen him last. His deep green eyes that portrayed all of his emotions, letting me know exactly how he felt. But I had to be strong, for us.

  “Are we still good?” His voice was low and it sounded sad.

  I sat on the edge of his bed and gripped the phone tightly in my hand. Something had happened today after they left. I could feel it deep down in my stomach. “Yes.”

  A sigh of relief came through the receiver.

  “I want to see my mom.”

  “Okay baby, I’ll take you to her.”

  My heart lifted.

  “I’m heading home now to pick you up and then we can sort this shit out, alright baby?”

  “Okay…”

  “What?”

  “What are we going to do?” I winced, bracing myself for what he would say.

  There was a pause before he replied. “We’ll figure something out.”

  “Rave, that—”

  “Jesse, trust me.” The line disconnected.

  My stomach fluttered. I did trust him. With my life. I couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in the pit of my belly since he had left. I had a feeling that this day was only going to get worse.

  ***

  I paced the small living room and kept checking the clock. It had been a half an hour since Rave called me. My nerves rattled my bones that Allan would come to Rave’s and that he would do something stupid. He would obviously be furious that we had called the cops on him. I didn’t know how he would react and I also didn’t know if I would be able to stop Rave again if his temper took over.

  A loud thump outside the door froze me in my tracks. Oh God. Was Allan here? My eyes flicked back to the clock, praying that Rave would get there soon. I needed him.

  Hot fear burned in my belly as the thumping continued outside the door. The knob jiggled and a body banged against the door.

  “Little girl, I know you’re fucking in there.”

  My stomach dropped, cold sweat racing down my skin. How did he find me?

  I looked around the small living room of the bachelor pad. I had nowhere to go. I ran for the window and attempted to unlock it but it wouldn’t budge.

  Panic settled deep into my bones as I grabbed my phone and did the only thing that I thought would help. With shaky hands, I dialed the numbers and waited.

  “911. What’s your emergency?”

  I swallowed hard. “He’s going to kill me.” Ignoring the dispatcher’s questions, I gave her the address and hung up the phone. At that point, my whole body felt numb and I waited.

  “Let me in, brat.” Allan’s voice was cold and deadly, making me cringe with disgust. The knob continued to jiggle when all of a sudden it stopped. I felt like I was in the eye of a storm, waiting for the true terror of it to hit when the door flew open with a loud bang. He stepped into the room, looking disheveled.

  I stood there. My heart raced against my ribs, my limbs shaking. I clenched my fists and took deep breaths as I watched him.

  His clothes were out of place knowing that he had slept in them all night. Bruising marked his neck from where Rave had almost squeezed the life out of him. Too bad he hadn’t succeeded. His eyes roamed over me, trailing up my body, leaving pin pricks of hatred in its path. “You thought you could hide from me.”

  I swallowed several times but couldn’t speak as ice cold fear gripped my spine.

  His jaw tensed. “You called the cops on me.”

  My stomach twisted. Did he hear me just now on the phone?

  “I blame that fucking boyfriend of yours.” He continued. “If he wouldn’t have shown up, you wouldn’t have had the balls to call them.”

  I let out a sigh of relief that he hadn’t heard me a moment ago but I didn’t respond. I glared at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. My eyes flicked to the door. There was no room. The living room was way too small for me to run around him and escape.

  “There’s nowhere to run,” he growled.

  “The cops know what you did. And you can’t win. Everyone knows you’re a monster now.” My eyes scanned the area around me, searching for something sharp or heavy.

  Allan’s eyes lowered, darkening. “I don’t fucking care. He’s not here now, is he?”

  I gulped. No, he wasn’t. I was trapped. Anxiety swirled deep in the recesses of my belly. Shaking myself, I ignored the impending panic attack, breathing through the fast beating of my heart. Embracing the rage that tore through me instead, I glared at him with as much malice as I could muster. Come on, Allan. Bring it. Give me everything you got.

  Allan had come here for one thing and unless I was strong enough, he would take it. Take what he wanted from me. It had happened only once before but the dark hatred filled gaze boring into mine at that very moment had me questioning if I would survive this. If I didn’t, I would at least go down fighting, for myself and for Rave.

  “We got some unfinished business, you and I,” Allan snarled, taking a step towards me.

  My heart started racing, palms sweaty as ice cold fingers of fear scraped at my skin. He had blamed me. I didn’t deserve this. No one did. “Please, Allan. Just leave me alone. I’ll leave. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t hurt me again,” I begged, holding my hands up.

  He thought a moment and then sneered. “But that’s exactly what I want to do.”

  I frowned, confused. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  He took another step towards me. “I want to hurt you. Because of you, I lost my wife and my reputation is now shot to shit.”

  My throat went dry. “My mother isn’t dead.”

  He smiled. “Maybe she is.”

  My stomach dropped, sadness and pain momentarily taking over the hatred I had felt for him. “No, she can’t be. You’re lying.”

  Allan’s eye brow rose. “Am I? How would you know if I’m lying or not?”

  “Because…Oh God. No. She’s not dead. I don’t believe you.” Bile rose in my throat, burning me. She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be. She was in a coma. Not dead.

  He chuckled. “What would you say if I told you that she was in fact alive and has been awake for the last month?”

  My blood sang in my ears as my heart pounded hard in my chest. “Excuse me?”

  He laughed harder, a cold malicious sound escaping his lips. “Your mother has been awake for the last month, little girl.”

  I gasped, clapping a hand over my mouth. My vision faded in and out as his words sunk in.

  Your mother has been awake for the last month…

  The room spun and I felt like the rug had been ripped out from under me. A noise erupted around me, sending a twinge of unease in my stomach. Allan was laughing. The asshole had the audacity to laugh at me. Taking a deep breath, I took a step towards him. “And you didn’t tell me?” I snapped.

  “I didn’t see any point when she wants nothing to do with you,” he stated casually.

  I stopped in my tracks. “What do you mean?”

  He chuckled, sending chills down my spine. “Why would she want to see you when she thinks you hate her? She disgusts you. Or at least that’s what she thinks, anyways.”

  I screamed and dove at him. I didn’t know what happened next. It all happened so quickly. It was like the world turned black and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on my back. A throbbing beat in my head making my ears ring. I licked my dry lips and winced, blood coating my lips. My lip was split. I groaned, trying to move and rolled over onto my stomach.

  “You like making me hit you, don’t you?” Allan bit out from above me.

  My breath caught. “Please, just go away.”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I choked back a sob as rough hands pulled at me. Tearing and ripping
at my clothes. Rising to my knees, I crawled away when my legs were pulled out from under me. My bones rattled with fear and then a glimmer of hope rose in my heart as I caught sight of my cell phone on the end table.

  Giving one violent kick, Allan grunted behind me and I dove for my phone. At the same time, he grabbed my legs again; making me hit my head on the table. White spots danced in my vision as the room faded in and out. Taking deep breaths, I reached for my phone that now was lying on the floor beside me.

  “Call the police, girl. They won’t believe you. I’ll deny everything and tell them about the accident.”

  My eyes dried up, no longer shedding a tear for the brutality Allan had caused me and my mother over the years. A moment of glee tore through me knowing that he thought I hadn’t called the police yet. I fisted the phone in my hand and dialed the one person I knew who would believe me.

  Allan grabbed my wrists, holding them above my head and knocking the phone out of my hand. My pants were pulled down to my ankles, cold air washing over my skin.

  The sound of a zipper being lowered made my skin crawl. I tried kicking and screaming, attempting to wiggle out from under him but I couldn’t move. He was too strong for me but I wouldn’t give up. He grunted as I kicked at him.

  “Hello?” I heard the tinny sound of Rave’s voice coming through the phone on the floor.

  “Rave,” I croaked out.

  “Jesse? We’re about five minutes away.”

  “Help…” I licked my lips. “me.”

  “Fuck, Ren, drive faster,” he screamed.

  Allan laughed, an evil sadistic sound coming from his mouth.

  “I’m coming, baby. Hang in there. Fight him. Fight with all you have. Please, God. Jesse, fight back.” Even though I couldn’t hear him that well, the panic in his voice snapped something deep within me.

  Fight back.

  Pulling something from deep within, I gripped at Rave’s voice and threw the phone down when something from under Rave’s bed caught my eye. I ignored the heavy body on top of me and grabbed the object. With everything in me, I turned onto my back and pushed my step father off of me.

  Allan’s eyes widened as he stared down at the item pointed at his face.

  Chapter 32

  Allan stopped in his movements as I pointed the nail gun at him. He opened his mouth to speak and not even thinking, I aimed it at his crotch and pressed the trigger, shooting a nail into a part of him that had hurt me. The sound of the gun going off erupted around the room, banging inside my skull. He screamed, grabbing in between his legs. His face was red with anger and pain as he gripped himself. Falling to his knees, his mouth opened and closed like a fish as he gasped for air. “You bitch.”

  Something inside me snapped. I was done being called names and being abused. Fury flew through my blood, heating my body and I reveled in it. Enjoyed it as it took control of my actions. I was done being used and I knew that Allan was just one of many people out there who picked on people that didn’t have a voice of their own or that couldn’t stand up for themselves but I needed to stop him. Stop him from hurting me, my mom or anyone else for that matter.

  Placing my foot on his shoulder, I pushed him and aimed the gun at his crotch again.

  His eyes widened, his skin turning ashen.

  A moment of hesitation made my stomach cringe when he reached out and grabbed my leg, knocking me to the ground. I stumbled, landing on my back, my head hitting the floor hard. The nail gun fell out of my hand and my breath was knocked out of me when Allan straddled me.

  I kicked my feet, trying to get out from under him but the pain and fury etched on his face, made him stronger and more brutal. A heavy fist slammed into my face, making the world go black for a second. “I don’t need my dick to beat you, little girl.”

  He wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed. My lungs burned from the lack of air. I grabbed his hands, scratching and clawing at him, trying to get him to release me. My vision faded in and out as my life was slowly squeezed from me.

  My gaze landed on the nail gun and I reached for it, all the while Allan continued to strangle me. My fingers grazed the butt end of the gun but it was too far away.

  Oh God, he’s going to kill me. Please don’t let me die. Help me.

  I prayed over and over. I was too young to die. The cold hard evil radiating from Allan should have scared me but the thought of not seeing my mom or Rave again, scared me more. I needed to fight for them and for myself. I wouldn’t give up.

  A loud bang erupted into the room, the sound of sirens flowing into the apartment. Yelling and commotion rained into my head as a weight was lifted off of me. I couldn’t make out what was going on around me. My vision faded in and out as a deep green gaze of horror flashed before my eyes. “Rave.” I croaked before blackness took over.

  ***

  “Jesse?” Warm hands wrapped around my shoulders, holding onto me tightly. “Jesse. Baby.”

  Panic swirled low in my belly and I tried to squirm out of my captors grasp. No. Not again. Please God. Not again.

  The strong arms wouldn’t budge as I was lifted off of the floor. “Jesse, it’s me.”

  I couldn’t make out the voice but it was gentle and the anxiety soaring through me, eased to a dull roar. Several voices sounded around me but I couldn’t make out any words. My body felt numb. What happened?

  “Jesse, open your eyes.” The deep voice caressed my skin.

  My stomached churned but I couldn’t figure out why. Where was I? Fisting my hands in the shirt of the person holding me, I swallowed past the nausea and buried my face against a hard chest. The scent of soap invaded my nostrils, easing my racing heart.

  A sob escaped my lips, racking my shoulders. My soul felt like it had split in half. Breaking me down the middle of my being. How did anyone ever recover from this?

  “Baby, open your eyes.” The voice was firm. The arms holding me were tense, strong but warm. Caring as they continued to hold me. This person knew me.

  I opened my eyes and took in deep breaths. I looked up into the deep green orbs that had stolen my heart from the first time I had met him weeks ago. Rave was holding me. Cradling me like a child that needed comforting. I reveled in the feel of him wrapped around me. “Rave,” I whispered.

  His warm eyes, filled with pain and guilt, bore into mine.

  I realized that we were sitting on a white bed and noticed that we weren’t alone. Officer Pike sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

  “Where am I?”

  “You’re in the hospital,” Rave murmured.

  “What happened?” My heart started pounding hard against my chest as the memories crashed into my skull. Allan. Oh God.

  “Jesse?” A deep gruff voice called my name. “Jesse.”

  I looked up and saw Officer Pike staring at me. He stood at the end of the bed, his brows furrowed. His eyes were friendly, concerned but not judging. “Want to tell me what happened?”

  I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to tell him everything but…an image of Allan straddling me roared through my mind bringing on a ringing pain with it. “I…where’s Allan?”

  Officer Pike smirked. “He’s in recovery after you shot him.”

  My heart stuttered. “I…he…am I in trouble?”

  Rave’s arms tightened around me.

  Officer Pike shook his head. “No. We got security footage from the apartment’s cameras. We have proof that he attacked you.”

  Tears welled in my eyes at that revelation. “Is it over?”

  He sighed. “Unfortunately, no. You’ll have to testify. I’ll try and keep this as low-key as possible but with Allan being a lawyer, the media are going to have a field day with this one.”

  I nodded, chewing my bottom lip.

  “I’ll be here with you every step of the way, baby,” Rave whispered in my ear.

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “I know.”

  Office Pike grabbed the stool at my desk and sat across from us. “Tell m
e what you can remember.”

  I thought a moment. “I…I…” Rough hands ripped down my pants, massaging and kneading my flesh.

  “Baby.” Rave gently grabbed my chin. “Breathe.”

  What? My breath left my mouth in small bursts of air, my lungs constricting from the lack of oxygen. Oh right. Breathe. Taking a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut. Calloused thumbs ran over my cheeks, wiping away tears that I didn’t realize had fallen.

  “Jesse, I just want to ask a couple of questions and then I’ll leave you alone for the night,” Office Pike whispered.

  Turning back to him and I moved closer to Rave almost instinctively. My gaze travelled over the white clean room. “Allan was going to rape me again.”

  Officer Pike didn’t say anything, waiting for me to continue.

  I took a deep breath and went on. “I shot him in the crotch with a nail gun and then…then…he was able to get it away from me. I called Rave.”

  Rave grabbed the back of my neck, squeezing it in reassurance.

  “It was self-defence wasn’t it, Jesse?” Officer Pike said, writing something in his notepad.

  I frowned. “Yes.”

  His gaze met mine. “And you found the nail gun under the bed, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You didn’t know it was there?” Officer Pike searched my face, waiting for my answer.

  I swallowed. “No. I didn’t.”

  “Good.” He flipped the pad closed and rose to his feet. “I’ll be in touch if I have any further questions.”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face and nodded.

  “And Jesse?”

  “Yeah?” My heart thumped against my chest at the hard look in his eyes.

  “You’re one of the lucky ones,” he said quietly and walked out of the room.

  Chapter 33

  Rave sat on the bed, watching me as I slowly moved around the room gathering my things. He helped me change from the hospital gown into my clothes.

  What was going to happen now? Did Allan have a lawyer? Did I need one? Officer Pike didn’t mention anything about it. I felt torn. Guilt raced through me at what I had done. Even though it was self defense, I couldn’t believe I had shot him. My heart beat hard against my chest and white spots formed in front of my eyes.