For Logan (Chicago Syndicate Book 5)

by Soraya Naomi

  She struts past me and exits as he crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive manner. “What do you want?”

  “To give you a chance to explain.”

  He drums his fingers on his biceps, unwaveringly exasperated. “What’s there to explain? You ran out.”

  Why is he mad? “Because I’m confused and scared. I had to get Adam out of there! I didn’t believe you actually betrayed me until this.” I wave my hand to him irately. “Did you kill Mykhail?” Please say no.

  Logan’s demeanor is wholly uncomfortable. He keeps glowering as if I’m in the wrong here. “Yes.”

  “Why? Were you already planning to kill him when you left my house?” What’s happened that’s caused him to do a one-eighty? “This doesn’t make any sense. Why are acting you so differently?”

  My direct questions piss him off, and he spits with vehemence, “What the hell does it matter?”

  “I want to know.” I step closer to him until I can almost touch him.

  He spins around, the muscles in his back rippling as he drags his hands through his hair.

  I’m livid about how he’s treating me when I just caught him with another woman right after he killed my friend. “Answer me!” I yell.

  “Yes, I planned it,” he grinds out, turning around and scowling at me with manic eyes I don’t recognize. There’s such torment in his state, confusing me even further.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I scream.

  In turn, he roughly pulls me close by my upper arms. With flaring nostrils, he hisses, “You need to learn to stop being reckless. I’m not giving up my position for a woman. I’ve worked too damn hard to achieve this. I don’t want to choose you over the Syndicate, so I obeyed orders.”

  Hearing his response makes me feel like I’ve been stabbed. Nonetheless, he’s not done. He twists the knife to obliterate the fantasy I’ve constructed of us.

  “And what were those orders?” I demand to know.

  “To murder Mykhail and clean up the body,” he answers.

  “And what did you tell the Syndicate about Adam?” I murmur.

  “Nothing. He’s your problem,” he whispers without emotion, releasing me and deeming this conversation over.

  I frown at him as my mouth drops open. “You’re not acting like yourself. Is there something else going on, Logan?” I implore.

  “Jesus Christ.” He messes up his blond hair. “No. Rosa, I don’t want to have to point blank say it, but you’re forcing me because you keep pushing and pushing. Now that I’ve fucked you, I don’t want this anymore. I’m not a man who needs to be saved; I told you that.”

  I hear his words, yet I’m in denial and mumble, more to myself, “No, I sensed your love for me. You made love to me just hours ago. You’re lying. Stop this—”

  “Stop fucking what?” He crowds me and the man I’m facing is the head Capo who rules in the underworld. “Don’t give me fucking orders. Stop being naïve.”

  Anger starts to dominate my pain since he’s being a dick. “Not once have you made me feel like a child during our relationship, but you did just now.”

  He flinches as if I’ve struck him, yet his glare is promptly back in place.

  I carry on, “You made me believe that there was more between us. Do you regret sleeping with me?”

  “No, I’m just done with you. It was convenient for me that you caught me. Why the hell do you think I’m ignoring you? This is who I am. You haven’t changed me.”

  The cracks in my heart expand with every word that comes out of his mouth. “So you just used me to fuck me?” I don’t hide the disgust in my tone.

  “You act like we’ve been together for years – it’s only been a few months.”

  “I know people who’ve been together far longer but don’t experience a fraction of the love we shared. And you’re just throwing it away after the first problems arise? Because of your precious Capo position?” I swallow back looming tears and clench a fist, bringing it up to my mouth in misery. “Oh, my God, I gave you everything. I let you do everything to me. I trusted you when you said you loved me.”

  Logan gulps and gazes at me for what seems like an eternity. It was foolish to assume that I’d be the woman to change him. I knew it was a risk to love a man like him. I just never would’ve guessed I’d made such a wrong assessment of his character.

  Indignantly, I take an encouraging breath and say, “You know what? I feel sorry for you. I might be naïve and reckless, or whatever else you’ve called me, but at least I know love. You might be older, but you’re stupid when it comes to love. I loved you for who you are. Not just your looks. Or all that money and power you have now. For you. But that’s not enough for you.” He stays silent and studies me while I add, “It wasn’t enough to break my heart; you had to take my virginity too? You’re a selfish son of a bitch.”

  He explodes with that comment and comes at me, so I shrink backward toward the door. “Then get the fuck out and leave this selfish SOB alone.” Whisper-soft, he continues, “But I warn you, if you say anything about us or me, I won’t be so lenient regarding Adam.”

  All my defenses go up. “I’ve outsmarted you for months. I can do it again,” I counter, taking his bait. I’ll protect Adam with my life.

  Again, he grips my arm, pushing my shoulder into my neck. “No, Rosa. Don’t you fucking threaten me...”

  Scared, I stand down. “Don’t worry. This naive girl won’t say anything. I’m not vindictive or childish – like you seem to think I am. But don’t underestimate me. If you rat me out and speak about Adam, I will retaliate. I’ve learned that from you.”

  He hisses, frightening me. This is the beast inside him clawing to get loose. I yank my arm free, yet he doesn’t budge until he’s snarled at me once more. With shaky fingers, I rotate the knob and jerk open the door.

  Then I look back at him. “I’ll leave you to find your conquest.” And I close the door with a final click, leaving a piece of myself behind with him.

  In a stupor, I return to my car, and after half an hour, I’m parking it and entering the pool house.

  The housekeeper stands up from the lounge chair with a book in hand and informs me, “Hey, Rosalia. He didn’t wake up.”

  “Okay, thank you. You can go,” I comment and bend down to untie my boots, kicking them off as she clears out quietly.

  I climb under the covers and hug Adam to me as he stirs, swinging an arm around my neck. While stroking his head, I embrace him snugly, and tears scald my cheeks when I cry as soundlessly as possible.

  Just like Logan, I’ll have to live with the burden of regret now too. I regret the choices I made with Mykhail. I regret my recklessness. I regret loving Logan. He took my virginity and broke my heart within hours. Loving Logan has left me utterly alone. Apart from feeling overwhelming regret, I’m panicking because I don’t have a strategy about how to move forward. I’ve hit rock bottom.

  This day will always be the worst one of my existence – the day that changed the course of my life drastically.

  CHAPTER 35

  Rosalia

  I’ve been awake for hours, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling with empty sadness floating in my chest.

  Adam rouses and opens his eyes. Sitting up, he’s wide awake immediately. The first thing he asks is, “Where’s Myk?”

  I attempt to put on a fake smile, pulling him to lie back down. Theatrically, he topples backward, lifting his legs into the air and holding his feet, making me laugh sadly.

  “Do you know what Heaven is, Adam?”

  “No,” he says, flexing his toes and looking up at me to make sure I’m seeing his tricks.

  “Well, Myk is in Heaven. He isn’t here anymore. Mykhail was in an accident.”

  “Okay,” he remarks.

  My brows rise. I’m stunned that he understood me – I don’t even understand how badly I just explained death to a child.

  “Is Myk coming?” he adds.

  Clearly, he did not under
stand me.

  I sigh. “No, sweetie.”

  He slides out of bed and gets his plastic yellow car from the floor, so I drop the subject too.

  With a pounding headache, I walk to the shower, noticing my swollen eyes in the bathroom mirror, and I can’t refrain from checking my phone. I’m so used to talking to or texting Logan the second I wake up, but I haven’t received any messages.

  Since I’m so shaken up about everything, I climb back into bed, and then my life comes to a standstill. For days, I’m a mess. I’m a twenty-one year old girl taking care of a boy whose brother’s death I’m partly responsible for. A sense of isolation surrounds me.

  What am I supposed to do now?

  ***

  Three days pass before I force myself out of my wrecked state of mind. I can’t afford to wallow in self-pity over my broken heart and the man who threw me away. I realize I’m missing something, but I have Adam to consider; he’s my first priority, and I have to get on with my life.

  First, I need to find out what the Syndicate has done with Mykhail’s body. Second, what am I going to do with Adam? Currently, I’m the only one taking care of him, and spending each day with him is tightening our bond. Somehow, he’s able to place a smile on my face with his sweet ways, and we cling to each other.

  Fortunately, I know the address of a certain hacker that could help me. Logan had to drop something off at Henry’s once while I waited in his car. So, on Thursday, I’m standing in front of Henry’s apartment door with Adam next to me. I lift my arm but pause right before my knuckles hit the door. Since I’m at a loss, I knock.

  A few second later, Henry opens the door just slightly to prevent me from seeing the inside of his apartment, a deep crease forming on his forehead as he adjusts his black-rimmed glasses. “Rosalia?” His gaze shifts down to Adam, who’s beaming at him.

  “Hey, I need to talk to you,” I insist in an anxious tone.

  “About what?”

  I jerk my chin downward, motioning to Adam. “Obviously, I’m in a difficult situation.”

  His eyes switch from me to Adam with an indecipherable expression. “Can we meet later?”

  “No, Henry. Now. There’s no one else I can go to.”

  He puffs out an impatient breath, yet an empathetic look carves his features.

  Why can’t I come in?

  “Wait! Is Logan in there?” I suddenly ask, and my palm shoots out against the surface of the door to shove it open.

  He staggers backward as I shoulder past him.

  “No! Rosalia.”

  I’m instantly in the living room, which is stocked with four computers on two desks, and on the couch is indeed a person he wanted to hide. But it’s not Logan.

  Mary leaps up, swiping her hand down her rumpled skirt. Her pink blouse is buttoned crookedly.

  A grin tugs at my lips. “Oh, I’m interrupting...” I let the words trail off, looking back and forth from Mary to Henry.

  Henry sends me a feigned scowl. “This just got awkward, fast.”

  True, although this works out perfectly for me. They’ve seen Adam; however, I know about their liaison. All three of us have leverage to blackmail one another.

  Adam catches my attention by pulling my jeans, so I scoop him up in my arms.

  “Who’s that?” Mary asks me, winking at Adam.

  He smiles shyly and holds up his yellow toy. “Look, my car.”

  “Oh, wow, that’s the one car I want,” she replies and makes him feel at ease.

  I address Henry, “How much does she know about Logan and me?”

  “I know,” Mary answers instead. “Don’t worry. I won’t spill the beans. As long as you don’t tell anyone you saw me here.”

  Henry gapes at Mary’s forwardness, apparently impressed, and sinks down onto the sofa and stretches his long legs out in front of him, hooking a foot around Mary’s.

  “Stop it,” she hisses, stepping out of his range.

  “I think we’re a bit late in hiding it from her,” he dryly points out.

  I honestly don’t care what these two are doing, so I start, “This is Adam Medlov—”

  Henry surges up and snaps, “What? Mykhail’s brother?”

  Adam startles and his lip quivers – he has bad memories of angry men.

  I cradle the side of his round face. “It’s okay, sweetie. He isn’t mad.”

  Mary shoots Henry a scowl and closes the distance between us, distracting Adam by asking, “Can I play with your car?”

  He watches her with distrust at first and then glimpses at me. I nod, so he tentatively gives it to her.

  “Let’s play on the couch,” she urges, holding her hand out to him.

  After a few undecided seconds, he goes with her and she turns on the TV.

  “Cars!” Adam cheers, forgetting everything around him in an instant. He’s riveted by the TV and chats with Mary about his favorite movie.

  “Thank you,” I mouth to her in gratitude, and she tips her head in response.

  Henry relocates to the far side of the room, toward the heavily draped window, raising his brows and not even repeating his question.

  “Yes, Mykhail’s brother. How did you not know I had him?” Hasn’t he talked to Logan? I thought Logan would’ve informed him.

  “How am I supposed to know?”

  “From Logan?”

  His eyes narrow. “What’s going on between you two?”

  “Why?”

  “I barely speak to Logan,” he retorts.

  “He killed Mykhail after he promised me he’d help us. And I caught him with another woman that same night. He ended it with me.”

  “Ended?” Henry echoes.

  “Yes, we’ve been in a relationship for four months.”

  “Oh, I thought you were, you know, fooling around.”

  “No, we’ve been dating for months and didn’t want to tell anyone yet; but he did a one-eighty on me when he found out I lied about Mykhail. At first, he pretended to choose me, and then he followed orders and just dropped me like a bad habit.”

  “He’s been in a shitty mood.”

  “Well, I asked Logan for help, but that clearly blew up in my face.” I glance at Adam, becoming emotional and bracing my neck. “I don’t know what to do. Adam has no one left. He’s been staying with me for days, but my mom is returning tomorrow, and I can’t keep hiding him.”

  “There are no other relatives at all?” Henry probes.

  “No,” I say with a sob.

  Henry softens and folds me into a hug. “Come on, let it out,” he reassures me.

  My grief pours out when someone finally consoles me.

  “I’m sorry about Mykhail,” he offers kindly, rubbing his hand up and down my arm before he pulls back.

  “Thank you. He was my friend and not a threat to the Syndicate.”

  Henry’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t understand why they killed him.”

  “Me neither. So what do I do?”

  “There aren’t many options, Rosalia. You could give him up for adoption? I can change his name and take care of the technical details.”

  I lean back against the wall grimly. “Then he’ll go into the system. I can’t do that to him. I-I love him, Henry.”

  Astounded, he takes a moment of quiet contemplation. “Do you want to keep him?”

  “I don’t know,” I hesitate a beat. “Yes.”

  “That brings a whole new set of problems. There’s a difference between taking care of a little boy for a few days and taking care of him for the rest of his life.”

  “I get that,” I defend in good conscience.

  Yet he continues, “You’re still in college. If you choose to keep him with you, your entire life will change. I can take care of a lot for you systematically, but what will you tell your family?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought it through yet.” My heart, mind, and soul are in a shambles.

  Mary shifts over to us and asks nicely with concern, “Are you okay
?”

  I shake my head. “I’m so alone.”

  She surprises me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “We’ll help you, Rosalia. You’re not alone.”

  “Thank you.” I realize they have ulterior motives for helping me because I caught them. Still, I grasp on to this olive branch since I lost my two best friends on the same day.

  “Until you decide on a definite plan regarding Adam, you’ll need to keep hiding him. Think about that,” Henry warns me.

  “I know, but I’m not in a good state to make this decision right now. I need at least a few more days to process everything.”

  “Okay,” Henry says. “But keeping him at your pool house is too risky.”

  “I agree; that’s why I came here,” I explain. “My father is barely home, but I can’t hide a kid from my mom when she returns from her trip. Plus, I have some exams coming up that I need to pass to graduate this summer.”

  “These aren’t simple decisions, Rosalia,” he mentions.

  Adam stands up on the sofa, and I stride to him swiftly to place him back on his bottom. “No standing on the couch. If you fall, you’ll hurt yourself.”

  “Sorry,” he replies, fixated on the TV.

  I plop down next to him, and Mary and Henry join us.

  Mary’s face turns gloomy as she observes me with Adam. “You’re fond of him, aren’t you?”

  “I am. I’m the only mother figure he’s had in his young life.”

  She’s a bit shocked at my revelation and changes the topic, “Have you spoken to Logan?”

  “No. Why?”

  She shows me her phone and taps Logan’s name to call him, but an automated voice states: this number is no longer in service.

  My gaze lands on Henry. “He has another number?”

  He lifts his palms in an exaggerated fake manner. “Don’t look at me.”

  “Well,” I muse aloud, “seems like he really doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “He’s a dickhead,” Mary concludes.

  I always knew he had the heart of a tortured soul, yet I willingly plunged into a world of sexual awaking with him.

  “I have to go to the club. What do you need from me?” Henry asks.