Heart's Desire

by Sorcha MacMurrough

  Sinead had imagined all sort of things about her homecoming, but never anything as bittersweet as this. He loved her! And he was innocent! She put her hand on his shoulder as his sobs died down, and stroked his curving muscular shoulders.

  Perhaps it was the touch of her hand or the smell of her perfume which made him sense a change in the room, for he looked up and wiped his eyes, and saw Sinead looking down at him.

  Austin blinked, his mouth gaping open, before sending the chair flying as he swept her up into his arms and embraced her so hard that she thought her spine would snap.

  "Sinead, darling, where have you been? We've been so worried," he whispered when he could finally speak.

  "Sush, my love, there's plenty of time for explanations later. How are you?" Sinead whispered tenderly, as he hugged her and smothered her face with kisses, and she dried his tears with her handkerchief.

  "I've been devastated since you left."

  Sinead gazed into his haunted eyes, and felt miserable at the thought of all that she had put them through.

  "I've kept clinging to the hope you'd come home, but after so long..."

  Sinead silenced him with a kiss which was meant to comfort, but soon blazed into a passionate inferno which neither could quell.

  Sinead gathered the presence of mind to pull her lips away and murmur, "We'd better go up to my room before Maeve and Mike get the shock of their lives."

  She led him upstairs by the hand. As soon as the door closed behind them, they began feverishly undressing each other. Their lovemaking was so urgent it was over almost as soon as it had begun, him entering her with a hoarse cry which she echoed with a shrilly satisfied one of her own. It might have been fast and furious, but it left neither of them in doubt about their feelings for each other.

  "Did I hurt you?" Austin asked with concern.

  She shook her head as the tears continued to fall. "Not at all, I'm crying because I'm so happy."

  Austin kissed Sinead's tears away, and shifted his weight when she moved under him, suddenly uncomfortable at his weight on her rounded stomach. He stroked and kissed her all over, and she sighed drowsily.

  But their explanations had waited long enough, and she had a lot to tell him. With another sigh she raised her head to look at him. "Austin, I want to clear the air now, and then we'll never speak of these past few horrible months again."

  Austin looked at her with pained gray eyes, and they sat up against the headboard curled up under the comforter.

  "Go on, then, you first," Austin whispered against her golden hair.

  Sinead briefly outlined what her life had been like in Dublin, all her doubts and fears and longing for Austin even when she thought he had betrayed her.

  "I didn't want to believe it, but it all seemed to fit, with Margaret turning up in Castlemaine to work at the hospital, me seeing the two of you together all the time, and the hearing over the will. I'm sorry, but it all got muddled up in my head. I had been so hurt by her and Luke, I couldn't bring myself to trust you.

  "Margaret was the last person in the world I ever wanted to see again. To have her working at the hospital was bad enough. Seeing you with her made me ill. Luke betrayed me with her, and I felt second best. I thought you were just toying with me, having a last fling before the two of you got married.

  "I loved you, and told myself I'd be grown up enough not to get hurt. That even if what we had was it was only lust, it might grow into love. I wanted you so much, Austin. I thought that even if it all went wrong, it was better for me to make love with you than to regret not making love to you for the rest of my life."

  Austin's eyes glowed, and he kissed her softly on the mouth. "And was it worth it?" he queried softly.

  "Better than my wildest dreams," Sinead murmured, as she stroked his hard stomach and made him gasp for breath. "But the only problem was, it was too good. I'd have been haunted for the rest of my life at the thought of all the lonely nights without you. Not to mention the days," she said with a smile.

  He gripped her hand hard and kissed it. "I know exactly what you mean."

  "Oh, Austin, I think I loved you from the moment you kissed me in the car at the traffic lights. But I thought it was just lust. Then as I got to know you, I realised you were my other half in every respect. I just thought you hadn't realised it and were smitten with Margaret, just as Luke had been."

  Austin shook his head ruefully. "And I thought you were living with Mike. I tried everything I could to lure you away from him of your own free will. Maybe if we hadn't tried to be so reasonable with each other, we'd have been spared all these misunderstandings. I should have just carried you up to my bedroom and made love to you until you couldn't think of anything else in the world except me." Austin smiled, and kissed her passionately.

  "Mmm," she sighed, licking her lips, "now that sounds like a wonderful offer."

  "I suppose I should be angry with you for mistrusting me, but I played right into Margaret's hands. I let the situation get completely out of hand and you had every reason to be jealous. I knew you'd seen us at the pub. At the time I wondered what game she was up to, why she had come to Castlemaine, and what she had against you. I knew she'd been in Dubai, but thought it was all too much of a coincidence. I never realized she was your husband's other woman. And that she had found out you were back in Ireland and was hell-bent on destroying your life."

  Austin kissed her brow and stroked her hair and back as he recalled his painful memories. "It was just pure bad luck that I ran into her in town that day and offered her a lift back to the hospital. I saw you in your car in town, not at home waiting for me. It was the last place I ever expected to see you, and thought that you'd given me the push for Mike. You didn't phone me, come see me at work. Then I didn't see you again until the Christmas party."

  "It takes two, you know. You didn't phone or visit me," she reminded him, before nestling her head against his shoulder once more.

  "I know. Stiff-necked pride. I'd done everything I could to win you. If it wasn't enough, well..." He shrugged. "That night you left, Margaret totally played us both. She'd seen me looking jealously at you and Mike, and slipped my keys out of my jacket pocket before I got up to dance with you. She waited in my room, hoping I'd bring you back to it. I'd been staying there since you'd left with Mike. She must have been pretty furious to think she'd lost to you yet again. So she made it seem as though she and I were lovers, and that I was only interested in the Stephens fortune, not in you at all.

  "The day after, the police came to arrest her on fraud and drugs charges, and then I knew that she had used the opportunity of your working for me up in Killyfassy Forest to contest the will and get the money herself when your back was turned. Mike and I also discovered from the police that she knew you were scheduled for a holiday. She had it all timed perfectly to make her move when you were out of the way. She nearly fooled them, but she didn't bank on the Stephens family hating her even more than they disliked you. She tried to force you out of your job, and when all that didn't work, she tried to split us up," Austin revealed.

  "And nearly succeeded," Sinead said with a shiver, and hugged him close to her. "I know it was silly of me, but I just couldn't believe you cared about me, even after that incredible weekend and the nights we shared. Margaret kept turning up. Then there was the wedding set you picked, the meetings the minute my back was turned. That last morning we had together, well, it seemed very suspicious when you insisted on leaving me up at the house.

  "Then when Mike told me that you had been putting forward all sorts of expensive plans for additions to the hospital, and reassuring Dr. Jameson that you would come up with the money shortly, well, you can guess what it all looked like."

  "I know that know. Mike and Maeve told me pretty much everything. I'm so sorry my attempts to be romantic only fed into your insecurities. The truth is, I wanted to surprise you, sweep you off your feet. Maybe I just got so carried away with the fairy tale plans in my head, I never stopped to
think about what my actions looked like. The truth is that I was going to my final finance meeting for my plans, and wanted you to be waiting at home for me so I could shower you with presents, flowers and champagne and then give this.

  He slipped out of bed to cross the room.

  Sinead's breath caught in her throat at the sight of his naked magnificence as the setting sun bathed his flesh in a swirl of colors. He came back holding his jacket, and inside the pocket was a small box.

  "How could you possibly think this was for Margaret?" he chided gently. "You're the only woman in the world with eyes that match this ring, Sinead."

  Austin opened the box.

  Sinead could see the familiar rings sparkling up at her through her haze of tears.

  "When I saw them in the jeweler's the day we went shopping together in Seskin, I knew it was fate. Just like fate brought us together at those traffic lights, when you probably saved my life. I had admired you desperately up until then, but from that moment on I was completely lost. I love you, Sinead, and I want you to marry me, please," Austin whispered, his eyes beseeching as he slipped the engagement ring of the set onto her finger.

  "Oh yes, Austin, yes." She kissed him with an passion which set their flesh atingling, and kindled the flames of their desire anew. All the love and longing held in reserve now burst forth in a scorching conflagration which melted any doubts either of them might have had about the other. Their hearts and bodies soared to bliss, and then climbed to even greater heights than either of them had ever experienced.

  At last they quieted, completely drained by the heated lovemaking they had shared. Lying in the warm afterglow, Sinead bit her lip, suddenly worried about the one or two things she had not yet told him.

  "Austin, will you mind very much if I stop working at the hospital once we're married?"

  He frowned slightly. "Well, sweetheart, if you're sure you want to be a housewife, I'll be pleased, of course. But you're such a fine nurse. Besides, you might want to re-think that decision when I tell you that Dr. Jameson is really sorry about what happened with Margaret. He told Mike he never should have advertised the post in the first place, let alone made an external appointment. So, he said that if you ever came back, the head of ICU job would be yours, no questions asked, and with a bonus and a personal assistant as well."

  "It sounds like the offer of a lifetime, but well, it's just that we might have our hands pretty full about the new hospital extension, mightn't we?"

  Austin sighed and shook his head, and stared up at the ceiling. "Dr. Jameson said everything would have to be put on hold until certain negotiations were made and returned the money I had raised so far to the contributors to keep or to use for other projects at the hospital if they wished."

  "So Margaret didn't offer you any money for the hospital?" she asked in surprise.

  "No, why would she?" He shrugged. "She hinted that she had money, and the world could be our oyster if we played our cards right. What a fantastic couple we could be. But she certainly wasn't making any promises as a benefactor for the project, if that's what you're getting at. No, if she had succeeded in overturning your husband's will, I'm sure the last thing she would have done with the cash is anything so noble as to give it away for Castlemaine General's new annexe."

  Sinead suppressed the burst of laughter which was bubbling just under the surface.

  Austin sighed heavily now. "I guess as soon as the renovations and additions I'm doing at present are finished, I'll have to look for work elsewhere."

  "Promise you won't be mad at me?" Sinead asked softly.

  He stared at her. "Why? What have you done?"

  "It's my fault he returned the money to your investors," Sinead confessed.

  Austin frowned at her, more in puzzlement than anger. "Your fault, darling? How?"

  "Because there really is a new benefactor."

  "Sinead, what are you talking about—-"

  "Hear me out, okay?"

  "Of course," he said, sitting up in the bed, more than eager for her explanation.

  "Once I did get the Stephens millions, which I'd never cared about anyway, I thought of the best thing I could do with them. Mike and I had already assumed you were furthering your ambitions by trying to get the money for the project. I thought it would be a good way of proving I wasn't a gold digger, and spiting Margaret in the bargain."

  He thumped his brow with the heel of his hand. "I remember now! So what Margaret said that night was true? You really did give away all that money?" Austin asked, astonished but not in the least displeased.

  "Not quite all. But by the time the rest of my shares are sold off, over the next five years, the hospital will have a splendid annexe. The legal contract requires you to be the architect, with a generous salary, if you're interested in the project, of course."

  Austin shook his head in disbelief. "Even while you thought that I had betrayed you, you still loved me enough to give me my heart's desire. You've given up all that money to help everyone, including me. I don't know what to say," Austin murmured as he kissed her passionately, his eyes full of admiration.

  "It's nothing really. Look at the Stephens family. Money hasn't made them happy."

  "But I promise to make you happy, Sinead, every day of your life. Just ask, and it will be yours," Austin vowed.

  "I've already got it, but you have to promise me you won't mind when I tell you," Sinead replied with an impish smile.

  "Oh no, what have you been up to now? Well, whatever it is, tell me, and I'll be delighted."

  "I want your son, but I'll settle for a daughter this time around so long as you're happy."

  Sinead grew frightened at the silence and looked up at him.

  He was staring at her in shock, and pulled her to him tightly.

  "Wonderful! I thought you were looking a bit rounder, more womanly. Wow. Now I really have got everything my heart could desire," he whispered against her lips as his strong hands stroked her rounded belly lovingly.

  "You're not the only one, my love," Sinead whispered as he carried her to new heights of pleasure with his mouth and hands.

  "Oh, Austin." She melted into his lovemaking, all her doubts put to rest at last. Returning his caresses, she felt all her reserve melt at last as it never had before. He did love her. This was not just for now but forever. It was all she could have ever hoped for and so much more. And as their bodies merged and melded, she knew that her homecoming wasn't the end, but just the beginning....

  Epilogue

  On a fine late March day two weeks after their blissful reunion, all of their family and friends gathered in the chapel of Castlemaine General for the wedding of Sinead Thomas and Austin Riordan.

  Dr. Jameson gave the bride away, and Mike and Austin's brother Edmund did the honors as best men.

  Sinead glowed with happiness as she spoke her vows, and caught the eye of Dr. Lansing, who had come from Dublin for her special day along with the rest of her delighted colleagues from the school, who missed her already.

  She had loved working there, but Dr. Lansing had been right. Castlemaine was her home, where all the people she loved lived, especially Maeve and her beautiful baby daughter Jennifer. Some people searched all their lives for their heart's desire, she reflected. She and Austin had found theirs and nearly lost it, which made it all the more precious. They had had a second chance and she was going to hold onto it tightly for the rest of their lives.

  At the reception Dr. Jameson, in his role as father of the bride, proposed a toast. "To the future. May you have many more days as happy as this."

  "Happier!" Austin promised as he kissed his bride.

  "Do you think that's possible?" she said with a warm smile when he finally raised his lips.

  "I do, and am certainly going to try my best to convince you as well."

  "I can't wait for the honeymoon then. I give you full permission to convince me as much as you like."

  Austin grinned from ear to ear. "My pleasure, my dearest w
ife."

  "No, darling husband, it will be OUR pleasure."

  "That's for sure," he winked and kissed her again.

  True to Austin's word, five months later the Annexe foundations were laid at the hospital, only hours before their last wish was fulfilled. Sinead gave birth to a son with glimmering gray eyes which promised a future filled with hope and joy and everything their hearts could desire.

  Author's Note

  It's hard to believe that ten years and over twenty novels have passed, but this is where it all began, when I started writing for the Mills and Boon and Harlequin lines in Ireland.

  I had started writing historical romance and already completed several novels, but was told to write contemporary romance for the 'lines' instead because reading tastes were changing. Due to my lecturing background in English and History, historical romance won out in the end in my career, but I will always be grateful to the publishers who loved this novel enough to print it and also spurred me on to write more.