Ne'er Do Well

by Dornford Yates

  Mansel lifted his voice.

  “I think you can weather that. You were dealing with an arrogant woman, who had to be shown the whip. That will account for the tone. Why did you write it at all? Because the arrest must be made in an active Nursing Home. Not in some house or office or busy street. In a Nursing Home, where people were dying or lying seriously ill. It was of the utmost importance that there should be no disturbance in such a place. Yet, knowing the woman, you thought it more than likely that she would resist arrest. So you wrote in the hope of confining her to her room.”

  “That’s very good, Colonel Mansel, I’m much obliged. As for the rest, I think it will work out all right. I shall begin with the traditional words, ‘Acting upon information which I had received.’ In view of her spoken confession, that covers everything. Sir William will disclose what he said in his private letter – that he had heard that Mafra could be held in the mouth. It’s the Coroner’s Court, remember; the rules of evidence there are not so strict. Besides, he can always say that he ‘had reason to think, though he couldn’t be sure’. And now that they know what to look for, I think the analysis will be completed by Monday night. So there will be no adjournment. Paterson will have to be called, but nobody else from the Home. But I shall be able to tell you more tomorrow. In any event, I believe we’ve cleared the last fence.”

  Falcon paused there and knitted his brows.

  Then he went slowly on.

  “I’m not going to read you her statement. In fact, I’ve left it in Town. It confirmed in every particular what I had discovered or believed. It added only one thing, of which I ought to have thought.

  “Sister Helena’s history appeared in her secret report. So did the name of the man with whom she had been in love – The Honourable Joris Eyot. That name went down on a list which the Mother Superior kept – ‘Patients not to be received’.

  “Not until St Amant had been in the Home for four days, did the woman take Burke’s Peerage and look him up. And then, of course, she knew why Sister Helena was looking so wan.

  “But the contribution it made was greater than that.”

  Falcon paused again.

  “It was the most brutal document which I have ever read. Pride, vainglory and hypocrisy stood out from every page. But charity – no. Not a vestige. Sister Helena, she called ‘the creature’. ‘In response to my summons, the creature came to my room.’

  “I may be wrong, but when she found that St Amant was Joris Eyot, surely the least she could do – any human being could do, was to change Sister Helena’s duty there and then. Put Sister Therèse in her place – or somebody else. Instead, she spied upon her. Stood and listened on the terrace on Monday night. A very cruel woman. Deliberately cruel. And an agent provocateur.”

  “Any sign of insanity, Falcon?”

  “She was as sane as I am. ‘Suicide while temporarily insane’? Not if I can help it. The woman deserves to be branded with a verdict of felo de se. And murder. Wilful murder. But more of that tomorrow. Anyway, it’s all over now, except for the mopping up.”

  “Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself. It’s quite the biggest thing that you’ve ever done.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I had a lot of luck. The really anxious business came right at the end. And there my luck held.”

  “Be fair to yourself,” said I. “It wasn’t luck that wrote the letter you sent. That was what did the trick. It was very, very clever. You knew exactly how she would react to that.”

  “I thought I knew,” said Falcon. “I couldn’t be sure.”

  “Let us say that your judgment was perfect.”

  “So it was,” said Mansel. “So was your handling of the arrest itself. Your timing was masterly. It’s all very well to say that you had some luck. If you did – which I don’t admit – then you induced that luck. What did Sir George say?”

  “I’m glad to say,” said Falcon, “that he was very pleased.”

  On Monday evening, he took up his tale again.

  “I’ve had a light day,” he said.

  “I went to see Paterson first. He’s shaken to his foundations. That she could have done such a thing had never entered his head – would never have entered his head in a thousand years.

  “‘She must,’ he said, ‘she must have been out of her mind.’

  “‘She didn’t give me that impression at any time. I saw you on Thursday last. If I had then suggested that she was – well, round the bend, what would have been your reply?’

  “After a little –

  “‘If I’m to be honest,’ he said, ‘I should have thought you were mad.’

  “‘Well, there you are,’ I said.

  “‘But why, Superintendent? Why did she kill Lord St Amant?’

  “‘Because she fell a victim to his irresistible charm. D’you know that he actually made her laugh aloud?’

  “Paterson stared.

  “‘I’ve never heard her laugh; and I’ve been here for more than twelve years.’

  “‘Sister Geneviève was there. And when the woman found that even she could not withstand his charm, she decided that such a man was a highly dangerous man…who could do what he pleased with women…and so, while she had the chance, must be put to death.’

  “‘Wasn’t that madness, Superintendent?’

  “I shook my head.

  “‘Puritanism,’ I said. ‘She could have led the Ironsides of Cromwell’s day.’

  “‘Yes,’ he said. ‘You’re right. She could have done that. I’ve had to protest to her about the hardships which she imposed on the Sisters from time to time.’

  “‘That doesn’t surprise me at all. Now listen to this.’

  “I read him her spoken confession.

  “When I had done – ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘that’s her. Her conception of duty must always be right.’

  “‘That’s not madness,’ I said. ‘Vainglory, perhaps.’

  “‘That’s right,’ he said slowly, ‘Vainglory. She was vainglorious. Very much more than wise in her own conceit. Fancy her quoting Shakespeare right at the last.’

  “‘Listen, Dr Paterson. I was sent here, to see, if I could, that justice was done. Under no pressure from me, the Mother Superior declared – almost boasted that she had done wilful murder, the murder of a brilliant, innocent man… She took her life, because she had no intention of standing her trial: in other words, she was determined to avoid the consequences of her crime. I don’t think justice will be done, if so cold-blooded a woman is accorded the charitable verdict of ‘temporary insanity.’

  “Paterson appeared to reflect.

  “Then –

  “‘You’re right, Superintendent. Cold-blooded exactly describes her. She wasn’t insane and she doesn’t deserve such a verdict. If you ask for felo de se, I’ll back you up.’

  “There was a little silence. Then –

  “‘Who’s taken her place?’ I said.

  “‘I asked Sister Geneviève to carry on. Someone else will be sent.’

  “‘An excellent choice.’

  “‘Yes, she’s a very sweet woman and very capable. A pleasure to work with, Superintendent. No ill of the dead you know, but this wasn’t a happy Home.’

  “‘No human kindness,’ I said.

  “‘Not a vestige. Duty, duty, duty. And if ever duty was a pleasure, that was wrong.’

  “‘A gaunt philosophy.’

  “I seemed to have cleared that fence, so I said goodbye and drove to Ne’er-do-well.”

  “Forgive me, Superintendent,” said Jenny. “I don’t quite understand.”

  “Why should you, Mrs Chandos? Let me explain. Paterson will be called at the Inquest. He was the doctor at the Home. If he was to hint that the Mother Superior’s mind had given way, we shouldn’t get a verdict of felo de se. And that, I was determined to have. The verdict of ‘Temporarily insane’ is very often given, when it is quite untrue. That’s done out of charity. But I saw no reason why it should be done in this case. The wo
man deserved no mercy, alive or dead.”

  “Thank you. I do agree. I mean, she was really evil.”

  “That’s my belief.

  “Then, as I say, I drove to Ne’er-do-well.

  “For once in my life, I refused to talk to the Press. They’ll have their show tomorrow.

  “I saw the Chief Constable first. I told him she killed St Amant and had confessed her guilt. The poor man was quite overcome – and too much concerned with the scandal to ask any awkward questions. When I begged him to rely upon me, he nearly burst into tears. ‘I’m getting old, Superintendent. Such things are too much for me. I mean, she of all people… I’d as soon have suspected myself. Such a pillar of righteousness. The scandal will be too awful.’

  “Rogers dealt with the local police. I knew I could trust him there. ‘Don’t worry the Superintendent. He’ll lead the team tomorrow. But now he is very tired.’ ‘But did she do it, Chief Inspector?’ ‘Yes, she did it all right. But not a word.’

  “Then I called on the Coroner.

  “I told him the truth – shortly, advised him whom to summon and said he should have their statements by five o’clock.

  “‘Temporarily insane, of course.’

  “‘That won’t be my evidence,’ said I. ‘Or Dr Paterson’s either. The woman was no more insane than you or I. It was wilful, cold-blooded murder. She found Lord St Amant attractive, and that was enough for her. If she could feel his charm, what about weaker vessels? The man was dangerous.’

  “Then I read him her confession.

  “‘Good God,’ he said. ‘D’you really mean felo de se?’

  “‘I certainly do,’ I said. ‘This is not a case for covering up. It was a monstrous crime.’

  “‘Oh, I’m with you there, Superintendent. But – but felo de se.’

  “‘It’s an honest verdict,’ I said, ‘which my evidence and that of Paterson will more than support – let us say, will commend. And the woman has cheated the gallows. Don’t forget that.’

  “‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Yes, that’s right. She should have been hanged. But what a terrible business.’

  “After luncheon I drew up the statements. I had to risk that of Sir William: but I knew what I hoped he would say. Rogers and one policewoman will be called, but not Sister Geneviève.

  “Then a call came through from the Yard, to say that Mafra ’d been found.

  “I drove again to the Home.

  “Paterson read through his statement, suggested a few additions and finally said, ‘That’s right.’

  “Then I called again on the Coroner, went through the statements with him and drove back here.”

  “A light day,” said Jenny.

  “Comparatively, Mrs Chandos. What we call routine work.”

  “Well, I don’t know,” said Jenny. “I’ve seen Richard extended. I’ve known him go without sleep for more than forty-eight hours. But you never stop using your brain. Don’t say you’re going tomorrow. I hope you’ll stay here a week.”

  “I must go up on Wednesday. I should like to come back on Thursday; and if I may spend the weekend here – that I should like very much.”

  “If you’ll do as I say.”

  Falcon smiled.

  “With that condition,” he said, “I’m more than content.”

  On Tuesday evening, Falcon had little to report.

  All had gone very well. Sir William had been most convincing. Paterson had come to the scratch. A verdict of felo de se.

  “The Press were so excited they actually left me alone. Sir William’s evidence hit them between the eyes. ‘It seems that I was mistaken. My information was true. So long as its case is unbroken, Mafra can be held in the mouth. But the instant the capsule is swallowed, it will dissolve.’ And Paterson’s, too. ‘I saw her, as usual, that morning at nine o’clock. Her behaviour was absolutely normal. She was cold and collected, as usual: asked questions and gave me instructions in the most ordinary way. I hadn’t the faintest idea that there was anything wrong… In my opinion, she was as sane as I am: but she was always a law unto herself.’”

  Mansel lifted his voice.

  “If Sir William and Paterson hit them between the eyes, I rather fancy that you must have knocked them out. I mean, her confession alone…”

  Falcon nodded.

  “Yes, it was very strong stuff… The silence in Court was uncanny. I could see the pencils going, but nobody seemed to breathe… I must say I’m thankful it’s over.

  “Tomorrow morning I shall once again visit the Home. You see, I must take my leave. Then I shall drive to London. I hope to be back on Thursday in time for tea.”

  So it fell out.

  And on Thursday evening, Falcon concluded his tale.

  “As I said I should do, I drove direct to the Home.

  “First of all, I saw Sister Geneviève.

  “As acting Mother Superior, she was using the room I had come to know so well.

  “‘I’ve so much to thank you for, St Geneviève. I’d like to leave it there.’

  “‘That’s right,’ she said. ‘I’d like to leave it there, too. But I shan’t forget you, Superintendent. I don’t know much of the world: but you have shown me an aspect of human nature of which, until I met you, I never dreamed.’

  ‘St Geneviève,’ I said, ‘I’ve learned of you. ‘For duty lives with kindness.’

  “She lowered her eyes. Then she rose to her feet and put out her hand.

  “‘Goodbye, Superintendent. Thank you for doing so handsomely all that you had to do.’ She hesitated. ‘Sister Helena would like to see you.’

  “‘I’m at her disposal,’ I said. ‘But won’t she be resting now?’

  “‘No. She’s off all duty for two or three weeks. In a quarter of an hour she’ll be in Consulting-Room C.’

  “‘I shall be there.’ I hesitated. ‘St Geneviève, may I make her a little present? It’s not really mine to give, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s nothing much – only an old wrist-watch.’

  “There was a long silence.

  “Then –

  “‘Yes,’ she said quietly, ‘you may.’

  “I looked her full in the eyes.

  “‘What did I say just now?’ As before, her head went down. ‘Goodbye, St Geneviève.’

  “‘Goodbye.’

  “I went to see Paterson.

  “After a little conversation, the doctor looked at me.

  “‘I’ve never asked how you discovered the truth. To be quite honest, I don’t very much want to know. But I think you must have a fine brain.’

  “I shrugged my shoulders.

  “‘After all, it’s my job,’ I said, ‘to find things out.

  “‘I know, I know,’ he said. ‘But – well, almost anyone else. I mean, she was above suspicion.’

  “‘Murderers sometimes are.’

  “‘I can’t get over it,’ he said.

  “I smiled.

  “‘I’ve a lot to thank you for. You helped me no end.’

  “‘Oh, I did very little.’ He hesitated. ‘We were very lucky in you. We all feel that. I mean, it might have been awful. I quite expected it would be. But you – fitted in so well.’

  “‘That’s a very nice compliment.’

  “‘It’s perfectly true. And you – you made my path very smooth.’

  “‘Is it a happier Home?’

  “Paterson’s face lighted.

  “‘Indeed, it is. Of course, Sister Geneviève…’

  “‘Is as sweet as she’s good,’ I said.

  “‘So she is.’

  “‘One last request. D’you mind if I visit Dallas before I go?’

  “‘Of course not, Superintendent. You don’t have to ask my leave.’

  “‘I’m an interloper now.’

  “‘You’ll never be that.’

  “‘Goodbye.’

  “I went to Consulting-Room C.

  “As I entered the room, Sister Helena rose to her feet. ‘I wanted to se
e you,’ she said, ‘before you went.’

  “‘That was very sweet of you.’

  “‘I don’t quite know what to say – except to thank you for being so kind to me.’

  “‘You prayed for me, Sister Helena.’

  “‘Yes, I did. I shall always pray for you.’

  “‘You make me feel very humble.’

  “‘Don’t feel like that. It’s – inappropriate.’

  “I took out an envelope containing St Amant’s watch.

  “‘Sister Helena,’ I said, ‘I have Sister Geneviève’s permission to give you this.’

  “She put out her hand, and I laid the packet in her palm. For a moment she looked at it. Then her left hand came up and closed over her right. So she stood, like a statue, not seeming to breathe…

  “Then she lifted her head and put out her right hand.

  “As I took it in mine, she was trying to speak.

  “I smiled and spoke, instead.

  “‘I shall see Mrs Chandos tomorrow.’

  “Her beautiful eyes lighted.

  “‘Give her my love. And ask her to come again.’

  “‘Consider it done.’

  “She held my hand very tight.

  “‘Goodbye and God bless you,’ she said.

  “‘Goodbye.’

  “I took my leave.

  “When I entered Dallas’ room –

  “‘What a man.’

  “‘I’m here for nothing this morning.’

  “‘I’ve deeply regretted that. I was in pain that morning. But that’s no excuse. I must be getting testy.’

  “‘I should be more than testy, if I had to lie here, as you have, day after day.’

  “He offered me cigarettes. When I had lighted one, I took my seat.

  “‘Is this goodbye?’ he said.

  “‘Yes. But I had to come and thank you. You contributed more than you know to the – the bringing home of the crime.’

  “‘The flash on the terrace.’

  “‘For one thing. I’m not going to say what it was, but you gave me some information of greater value than that.’

  “‘God bless my soul.’