Sally's Bones

by MacKenzie Cadenhead

  “Now, there’s no need to get hysterical,” Officer Stu lamely comforted, though he seemed as surprised as Sally by this turn of events. Turning to the D.C., he added, “And there’s no need to lock the dog up. We agreed only to investigate the situation.”

  “What else is there to investigate?” the D.C. snapped. “A crime’s been committed, and this thing’s the clear culprit!”

  “A crime? What crime?” Sally demanded. “Bones hasn’t done anything wrong!”

  The D.C. snorted. “Oh, really? Then you tell me who’s been stealing all the neighborhood dogs’ bones?”

  Confused, Sally turned to Officer Stu. “What is he talking about?”

  The D.C. spoke before Stu had the chance. “Between 9:00 p.m. Friday evening—just after your little friend here made his demonic debut—and 6:00 a.m. today, nearly every bone belonging to a canine citizen of Merryland, USA, has been stolen. It’s up to me to sniff out the guilty party.”

  The D.C. planted his feet firmly on the ground and put his free hand on his hip. Sally imagined him practicing this tough-guy stance in front of his mirror at home. Had he not had a vise grip on her pet, she might even have laughed.

  “But that’s crazy,” she said as calmly as she could. “Why would anyone take dog toys?”

  “I’m not talkin’ fuzzy cloth playthings,” the D.C. declared. “I don’t even mean rawhides. Someone’s been snatching bones. Real, marrow-filled bones! Just like the ones your pooch here is made out of.” Leaning in close to the incarcerated cadaver, the D.C. bared his teeth in a triumphant grimace. “You’re mine now, bub. I don’t know what you are, but I intend to find out. I’m gonna give you a full examination.”

  Tears stung Sally’s eyes as Bones tried in vain to free himself. Whistling lightly, the evil D.C. dragged his catch toward an imposing white van. Sally lunged forward, throwing herself on top of her pet.

  “No!” she shouted as she pulled on his collar. “You have no evidence. You have to let him go.”

  “Evidence?” the D.C. scoffed. “He’s a mange-less mutt! I’m taking him in.”

  Sally turned to Officer Stu, her onetime champion, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Do something,” she pleaded. “Please!”

  The lawman, who had been paralyzed for much of the scene, silently strode over to the D.C. and yanked the snare pole from his hands. “Let the dog go,” he commanded.

  “What?” the D.C. cried.

  “Sally’s right,” said Officer Stu, keeping his cool. “You don’t have any real proof that Bones here committed this crime. Everything you’ve said so far is purely circumstantial. Therefore, you have to set him free.”

  “But the town is going nuts!” the D.C. cried. “Dogs are rebelling everywhere—running wild at the dog park, going on hunger strikes in their homes—and their owners are calling for me. I’m the one who can help them.” Pulling Stu aside, he added in a low tone, “It’s my turn to be the hero. Don’t take this away from me.”

  Stu pulled his arm from the little man’s desperate grip. “Get me some hard evidence and we’ll talk. Until then, there’s nothing left to discuss.”

  The D.C. may have been a cruel gnome of a man, but he wasn’t stupid enough to push Stu any farther. Instead, he scrambled for another way to keep Bones in his custody. “Well, what about his tags? The dog needs to be registered. I bet he doesn’t even have a license!”

  “I—I just got him…for my birthday,” Sally improvised. “I was going to make everything official after school.”

  The D.C. snapped, “In Merryland, every dog must have issued a proper license within five weeks of birth. This mutt looks a heckuvalot older than five weeks. Without the proper papers, this pooch is impounded.”

  Without thinking, Sally said the first words that popped into her head. “Which birth?” she blurted.

  “What?” the D.C. growled.

  “Which birth?” Sally repeated, more confident now. The D.C. shook his head, still a few steps behind.

  “Well, sure,” Officer Stu chimed in. “That is, it seems to me this little fella’s just had a rebirth of sorts. Now, Sally. Your dog wasn’t a birthday present, was he?”

  “No, sir,” she answered.

  “Where did you find him?” Stu asked.

  Sally hesitated.

  “The truth, Sally. Tell me where he came from.”

  “The graveyard. Where my mother’s buried.”

  Officer Stu smiled. “Now, how long ago was it that he, uh, came to you?”

  “Four weeks, sir,” she said. “It’s only been four weeks.”

  “GGGgggrrrr-uff!” Bones barked as he wiggled in his chains.

  “And before that, you’d never seen him? In the graveyard or anywhere else?”

  “No, sir!”

  “Then I’d say the first recorded sighting is his official rebirth date.” Officer Stu winked at Sally.

  “Rebirth?!” the D.C. howled.

  “Yes,” Stu replied. “Rebirth. You think if this little guy was around before Sally found him, we wouldn’t have heard? Practically the entire town knows about him after just one appearance on Saturday night. Now, I’m not saying I understand what he is or where he came from, but one thing I’m pretty sure of, this dog belongs to her.” Officer Stu pointed at Sally and smiled. “You’ve got one week to get him a license.”

  “Yes, sir!” she agreed and turned to Bones’s furious captor. “Can I have my dog back, please?”

  “But—” he protested.

  “Now,” Officer Stu commanded.

  With the dead dog once again in her arms, Sally thanked the clever cop and promised to apply for Bones’s license that very afternoon. But as she turned to enter the school, the D.C. cried out, “Living or dead, that animal cannot be allowed in the building! It would violate the sanitation laws of our county. Or are you planning to loosely interpret those too, Officer Stu?”

  Ignoring the offense, Stu replied, “I suppose that no dog, no matter its flesh and blood status, should go into the school.”

  “But Bones isn’t—”

  “I think it’ll be just fine for him to wait outside on the playground, though. That way, you can see him at recess, and he won’t be wandering around town unlicensed.” Stu emphasized his final word. The D.C. snarled but said nothing. “I’ll just let Principal Friend know about our arrangement. Now, why don’t you take Bones around back and then get on into class. All right, Sally?”

  “Yes, Officer Stu. I will,” she replied. Before running off, she gave the policeman a brief, tight hug. As she and Bones hurried to the playground, Sally felt the D.C.’s fiery stare burn into her. Though she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew this was not the last they’d heard of him or of the curious case of the bone snatcher.

  Chapter 9

  And he was just there? Wagging and smiling and totally all yours?” Chati poked at Sally with a lightly nibbled celery stick. “That is like the most bestest present ever!” To no one’s surprise more than her own, Sally Simplesmith sat at a picnic table in the schoolyard, her dead dog in her lap, surrounded by a pride of pretty-in-pink zombies who, until recently, could have cared less whether she lived or died.

  “Yeah,” Susannah Oh agreed. “I mean, my mother would never even consider a gift that wasn’t from Trendy Wendy’s. But your mom went out of her way to get the most specialest thing ever that is totally you…and she’s dead!”

  All the girls at Sally’s lunch table nodded like bobble-headed dolls. All save one, whose blank expression and vacant eyes contrasted with her bouncy strawberry blond hair and perfectly rosy complexion. Indeed, Viola Vanderperfect seemed not to have moved an inch since Sally had accepted Chati’s invitation to join them for lunch. She just stared beyond where Sally and Bones sat, refusing to acknowledge them or react to this shameful charade.

  “My birthday’s coming up, an
d my parents want to take me and my friends to some sold-out concert,” Chati sighed. “I mean, the tickets are basically impossible to get, but my dad owns the venue, so it’s not like it’s such a stretch. If they really understood me, like Sally’s dead mother, they’d think of something so much better to get me.”

  “But you love music, Chati,” said Susannah.

  “Do, I? Or is music what my parents love, and am I just their puppet?” Chati bit off a chunk of celery and dropped her head on the table. Sally discreetly rolled her eyes at Bones, who pawed at his nose, attempting to cover his widening grin.

  “I think it’s nice of your parents to take you to a concert,” Sally said in her most sympathetic voice.

  “You do?” Chati asked, looking up.

  “Um, sure. I love music. Well, most music anyway. And I’ve never even been to a concert. I buy all these concert T-shirts over the Internet just to feel like I was there. Your folks sound pretty cool to me.”

  “They do, don’t they?” Chati agreed, satisfied. “Gosh, Sally, you are really deep.”

  As Chati and her friends considered the vast depths of Sally’s mind, Tommy Gunn walked by the girls’ table, hands in his pockets, eyes focused firmly on the ground. The extreme casualness of his stride seemed suspicious to Sally, so she shouldn’t have been so surprised when he suddenly bent down to re-tie his shoe right beside her.

  “Oh, hey Sally,” Tommy said, looking up from his already double-knotted laces. “Didn’t see you there.”

  “Hiiii, Tommy,” Chati cooed and poked Sally lightly in the ribs. Sally looked at Chati, not understanding, while the other girls giggled.

  “So, uh, how’s your first day with Skel—I mean, Bones going?” Tommy asked.

  “Fine,” Sally replied cautiously. Having so few friendly acquaintances had done nothing to help her skills at chitchat.

  “Cool, good. That’s, well, yeah, great.” Tommy looked at his other perfectly tied shoelace and decided not to pretend it also needed to be tightened. Instead, he leaned on the table beside Sally and Bones and looked casually around the playground.

  Although Sally was naïve, she was not dumb. She had seen these types of strange conversations before: though they had nothing to say, one or both participants wanted desperately to keep their interaction going and so talked about nothing much at all. Realizing that she was now on the receiving end of such an interaction, Sally suddenly felt confused, embarrassed, and more than a little annoyed. Was this a joke someone had put Tommy up to?

  Over by the tire swings she saw Danny and some other boys looking in their direction. They were focused not just on Tommy, but on Sally too. Beside Sally sat Chati and her followers, staring at Tommy all gooey-eyed, hanging on his every word. But what convinced Sally that this had to be a trick was Viola. Though she still had not looked at Sally and seemed intent on ignoring the scene, Sally noticed that a little smirk had grown on her face. It was the only clue she needed. Her face flushed bright red at the exact moment that poor Tommy Gunn made a huge mistake.

  “Oh, hey, so, like, what was up with that creepy guy with Officer Stu who was waiting for you outside school?” Tommy asked. “He looked pretty mad. Seemed like he was really after Bones.”

  Sally clutched the table. She thought there had been no witness to her terrible ordeal—one that she feared was far from over. So when Tommy jokingly added, “What’d Skeletor do to get on that guy’s bad side, anyway? Break the law or something?” Sally snapped.

  “I told you,” she said angrily, rising to her feet. “His name is Bones!”

  Tommy took a step back, utterly shocked. “I-I’m sorry,” he stumbled. “I know his name, I was only saying…You know I just wanted…I didn’t mean to…”

  “Didn’t mean to what, Tommy?” Chati demanded, standing now as well, showing Tommy that she had Sally’s back. “Insult Bones again? Get his name right or get lost!”

  Susannah and the other girls followed Chati’s lead and expressed their outrage to their poor confused classmate. It wasn’t long before Tommy went on the defensive.

  “Fine, whatever!” he cried. “I don’t care about you or your creepy dog. I hope you both get whatever’s coming to you. I was only talking.”

  Though Sally was unpracticed in the ways of middle school sparring, she had witnessed enough recess rows to know that this was her chance to silence her opponent with a particularly cutting remark. “Oh yeah?” she asked, sounding tougher than she felt. “Well, why don’t you go talk somewhere else!”

  Though it wasn’t the most exciting comeback, Sally’s sudden celebrity, mingled with the mood of the moment, allowed it to land like a Scud missile. The girls cheered as Tommy threw his hands in the air and stormed off.

  Sally sneaked a peek at Viola out of the corner of her eye and saw that she was pouting again. Though she warned herself not to make a habit of this kind of talk, Sally had to admit that victory felt good.

  As the excitement of the exchange died down, Sally became more and more embarrassed by her temper. Though her lunch mates seemed eager to discuss the interaction ad nauseum, Sally found herself wanting to talk about anything else at all. Unfortunately, Susannah changed the subject for her.

  “So what was Tommy talking about?” she asked. “What did Officer Stu want with you?”

  Sally flushed. “Oh, it was nothing,” she replied. “Just something about some stolen dog stuff.”

  “Wait, I know about this,” Chati chimed in. Sally wondered if there was anything Chati wasn’t aware of. “So, my cousin, Vani, heard from our granny, Nanny, who heard from her neighbor, Tom, who heard from his mother, Mrs. Foolery, who heard from her gardener, Greenly Thum, who heard from his best friend, Officer Stu, that someone has been stealing all the neighborhood dogs’ bones!”

  “So?” Viola finally spoke. “Who cares?”

  “A lot of people, from the sound of it,” Chati continued. “Between the pound and the sheriff’s office, the phone has been ringing off the hook with complaints. My puggle, Peaches, was entirely unimpressed by the vintage disco outfit I dressed her in this morning. It was tragic!” She turned to Sally. “What did Officer Stu talk to you about?”

  Sally’s mind raced. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to know that Bones was a suspect, especially now that she and Bones were just starting to fit in. “Oh, uh, he wanted to know if Bones had had anything stolen,” she lied.

  “Has he?” Chati asked, concerned.

  “Nope. Last I checked, he’s got all his bones right here,” Sally joked.

  “GGGgggrrrr-uff!” Bones barked as he leapt from his carrier and onto Sally’s lap. The girls giggled and clapped. “Anyway, Chati,” Sally began, quickly switching topics. “The concert your parents are taking you to for your birthday—who’s the band, anyway?”

  “Well, that’s the other problem,” Chati sighed. “The band isn’t one I’ve really head of. You know, it’s so much less fun to dance onstage when you don’t know what you’re grooving to.” The girls mumbled their agreement.

  “Hey, wait a second,” Chati suddenly remembered. “I think you know them, Sally. In fact I’m sure you’ve mentioned them before. The band’s called something like…Stone Deaf?”

  “Tone Death?!” Sally slammed her fists on the table and lurched toward Chati. Bones began to bark excitedly, and the girls shrunk back.

  “Y-yeah, that’s it,” Chati stammered.

  Recklessly abandoning her cool Q, Sally could hardly cover her disgust. Worse than making a fool of herself yelling at Tommy was knowing that tickets to see her favorite band would be wasted on Chati Chattercathy and her lamebrained friends. It was almost too much to bear.

  “Wow.” Sally’s speech became robotic. “You are very lucky, Chati. Tone Death is my favorite band. Please let me know how the concert is.” Closing her hands in tight fists, Sally dug her nails into her palms. To her surp
rise, Chati lit up like a firefly.

  “Omigosh Sally!” Chati squeaked. “I just had the bestest idea. Why don’t you and Bones come with us?”

  “What?” Sally and Viola said in unison.

  “Sure! I mean, I can’t stand my cousin Vani anyway, so I’ll just disinvite her and bring you instead. Ooooohhhhh, it’ll be sooo cool to go to a death-rock concert with something that’s really dead.” Chati’s minions clapped and cooed in agreement. For the first time, Viola looked at Sally with fury in her eyes.

  It was bad enough that she had sat at Viola’s lunch table, but Sally knew that to attend the same social function could only be seen as a direct challenge. Still, this was Tone Death. Sally could think of nothing, not even a majorly mad mean girl with a vendetta just for her, that could keep her away. She dared herself to say yes.

  “Thanks, Chati,” Sally said. “Bones and I would love to go.”

  “GGGgggrrr-uff!” Bones concurred, and the girls began to plan how to dress for the occasion. All except for Viola, who quietly rose from the table and exited the yard. No one but Sally noticed.

  Chapter 10

  “We…are…Tone Death!”

  Sally cheered along with hundreds of other Tone Death fans at the fully packed Chatter Hall. Bones howled happily in his carrier, and Chati, Susannah, and the other girls did their best to head-bang without messing up their hair. Only Viola remained in her seat, arms crossed and silent.

  In the past few weeks, Sally’s life had changed quite a bit. At lunch, she no longer sat alone; in gym class, she moved from last pick to first; on the bus, someone was always sure to save her a seat. The former social leper and her imperishable pet were overnight sensations. Even the anonymous notes had slowed down, and when they did arrive, they merely hinted at a day of reckoning Sally was starting to believe would never come.

  Though she occasionally wondered whether or not her new friends were true, her desire to believe outweighed her fear. Even Bones’s implication in the marrowbone thefts was concerning her less and less. Soon enough, Sally was having the time of her life.